1/31/11

Well we made it through January. Exactly 4 weeks till March! Spring is so close!!! I've checked the weather and as of today it looks like we will be getting only rain on Wednesday! Love living on the coast! The rest of New England, PA and NY are getting big snow. Of course, this can change, so I'm not going to hold my breath, but if our temps stay in the high 30s and 40s it'll be rain for us.

I took a nap yesterday. "Watched" Inception. Actually I napped through it. Watched The Untouchables and The Social Network, which is a fabulous movie!!! Zach and Mitch really liked Inception. I will give it another try today.

The nap and sleeping well last night made a huge improvement regarding my face. The skin is healing fast. Not sure if it is the tomato juice or the peroxide. I read about both as suggested treatments and this rash is healing way faster than the last time, which took 2-3 weeks. This has been 6 days.

Today I'm going to pick up groceries for the week, menu is all planned out, clean things up good, while I have the energy, get my workout in and attempt to make myself pretty to remind me why my husband married me! :)

1/30/11

Ugh! Only like two hours sleep last night. I hate yucky dreams especially when I'm not home. I've been watching tv since 2:30 am. I'm exhausted. My face could have used a good night's rest. It healed considerably on two hours of sleep. 8-10 would have done the trick!

I really think this will be a movie and pajama day and spend it in bed with my husband.

1/29/11

Tired of feeling yucky and ugly. I just want my good complexion back. I will never omplain again about a pimple or dry skin. I'm on day 4 or 5. It appears that the worst of the attack is over. Right now I'm in the healing phase which is the ugliest part, plus the most uncomfortable. I have to do two compresses a day to prevent even uglier scarring.

I slept long and hard yesterday. Was in bed asleep by 8. Awake around 6 and dozed till 8ish.

Odd

I've been doing soooooo much research on my present allergies, namely my eczema. 2nd breakout in about 8 weeks. I believe I narrowed down the perps. Anything with lidocaine and paraben. Odd because dermatologists recommend the Eucerin brand sensitive cleaners and that is what I have. I can use the Eucerine ointment and DO! Liberally. And Vaseline. No more chapstick either. AND the miracle cure I have discovered? Tomato juice!!! I prefer the lower sodium variety. Three glasses down. Started the treatment last night. Huge difference in my face already! Skin is healing. My hand is almost healed completely! Mind you, you drink it, not apply it. Not sure why it is working so well? It was mentioned because it restores and maintains the proper acidity of your body. I have to drink it with a straw because my skin is allergic to tomatoes or other like sauces, but I can consume them with no problems.

1/28/11

Weird day. Weird early morning. I hate bad dreams. They mess up the whole day. Doesn't feel like it could possibly be 3 pm yet, but it is. I'm going to work out and wait till my husband brings home dinner.

1/27/11

I guess we got about 7 inches. Honestly all this snow is good. It is purifying the air.

I completed my workout an hour earlier than usual. I almost didn't want to do it but am so glad I completed it. Amazing what an hour of exercise can do for your mood.

I see blue skies. It is going to be warm today so that is nice.

Mild Rant

So the pre-storm that was supposed to be rain and some sleet was entirely snow, and is currently dropping 3+ inches. The real storm is supposed to come through at 4pm and last till tomorrow. None of this is part of my rant. Just setting the stage. I had a meeting in Jamestown till 1 and the snow, instead of rain, decided to start around noonish. While driving home, the roads were snow covered but not terrible. I would have had to do some crazy stuff to get the van sliding around. I'm a fairly cautious driver in the winter, having spent 34 years in Maine. I don't like driving in it, but I CAN! Now, everyone in front of me was going the same cautious speed I was. No one was in a hurry even as we became aware that the road conditions were much better than if they were icy. This was just good old fashioned snow. Unless you're a moron and don't have at least all weather tires, you wouldn't have a problem. Until you get to that one douche bag that has to literally drive like 10 miles per hour. I'm sorry but most cars behind you need to be going a little faster than that to make it up even small hills without sliding around. Seriously, if you can't keep up or your car is a piece of shit, stay home. Do the world a favor.

Ok. Rant over. I'm home and staying home.

1/26/11

Staff meeting today.

Snow storm coming this afternoon through tomorrow morning. Anywhere from 6-12 inches currently. We know what that means. We will get nothing or get buried under 2 feet of the stuff.

After the meeting, I'm going to come home for a little working out. My outfit looks great on me today, meaning I have no body complaints in the clothes I picked. That was a relief because I haven't been feeling so hot the last few days and I really didn't need a "poor me, I'm disgusting" fat day on top of it. I have so many friends of all sizes and the one thing we all have in common is poor body image.

1/25/11

Yay January is almost over!!! Exactly five weeks from today till March! I can not wait to get outdoors!

I finally was able to see Devil last night. Good movie. Between the both of us we were able to figure it out pretty early on in the movie, but it was still good. There were a few things we'd have done differently to make it more of a shocker but alas, we aren't directors.

We saw Little Fockers on Sunday. Again, it was ok to good. Good because it is always good to see Robert DeNiro, Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand on the same screen. Ok because the plot was kind of blah. Like really, after the memorable quotable scenes from both previous movies you're going to leave us with nothing??? Ben Stiller looked horrible in the movie. Not sure if he has some health issues going on or not or if he's just not aging well.

1/24/11

I had a nice date day/night with my husband yesterday! So fun!

Today was a Monday, that is for sure!

I did a good workout this morning and will do an additional one this evening. Two a day are nice!

1/23/11

Did a nice workout this morning. I took the weekend off. The first break in workouts for 12 days! Wouldn't you know that's when the scale moves down a bit??? Ah well. I'm going to try a more challenging workout later this evening. Right now, I have to get ready. Dinner and a movie with my husband! So excited! Newport Creamery here we come!

1/22/11

I'm very proud of Kayla! She worked out this morning and did the entire 4 miles!!! She's also all signed up on myfitnesspal too!

It will be nice having a fitness partner!

This has been a weird week. I've been extremely unhappy with some situations in my life and I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it and at the same time, several close friends have lost family members this week so I'm like stuck. I feel guilty at times for being so unhappy but then I feel angry because I feel I have a right to experience my unhappiness and work through my problems, even if those problems pale in comparison to a loved one dying.

Sweeping

Sweeping
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

Helping her Nonni sweep!

Texting

Texting
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

9 months going on 15 years!

Well...

That storm was short and sweet. The sun is shining bright right now. The plow came through and the roads look great. The timing was nice because it gave Zach the day off from school. He's been playing in the snow, playing video games and is now shoveling out the end of the driveway after they plowed. I showered and decided it will be a pajama bottom and sweatshirt kind of day.

Tired

I slept horribly last night. Going to bed in a few minutes myself.

Gearing up for the storm. Anywhere from 5-8 inches supposedly. It is supposed to start late and finish up around noon. Hopefully it finishes around then so I can pick up Hayley for the weekend.

Storm's a Comin'

They're being quiet on the accumulations. So far I've heard 3-6 but right now it is looking like things might be taking a turn for the worst as the cold front pushes through. If things continue to line up, it'll be the perfect storm. Crap crap crap. Not that I won't enjoy taking Friday off but come on Al Gore! I want spring!!!

I'm having a second cup of coffee. It is just one of those days!

I did get two workouts in. And a nice hot bath.

1/19/11

The odd Poe grave visitor didn't show up for the second year in a row. It is a mystery, befitting the master of macabre himself.

The weather was warm yesterday and will be again today. We got some lovely rain to melt some of the mess out there. I could use about a week straight of rain. I have a strong need and desire for spring and if all the snow were gone then I could fool myself that it is spring! I know, I know, it really will be here before I know it. 6 weeks till March.

[{Ok, I'm writing my Christmas list early for my husband.
Bean boots (the sold out excuse will NOT work twice in a row)
Bean snow shoes
Scarves (knitted, silk, whathaveyou, knock yourself out)
Starbucks gift basket
Ok?? Happy shopping!}]

I have some working out to do in about an hour. Some picking up to do. Making homemade meatballs for meatball subs tonight. I'll hopefully be watching Devil tonight. Love scary movies.

1/18/11

I love my husband.

I'm spending a few quiet moments this morning drinking coffee, reading my Bible, reflecting on life in general. Bella is in her room, babbling away. It is only minutes before she's up, bringing a full start to the day. She's almost 9 months. A joy on most days, except when she's cutting teeth.

Finally lost some weight according to the scale. I definitely needed that motivation this morning. I worked out hard yesterday! I really want Zumba for the Wii. It has received rave reviews. I've decided I want this instead of Just Dance 2. The whole basis of PS90X is muscle confusion. I figure, with all the various activities I like to do for exercise, I will get a similar effect, because really, we know PS90X is based upon research done by Nike about 25 years ago, with the emergence of their cross trainer shoe. Yeah. And I remember their commercials and suggestions that cross training made you a better athlete because it allows for different muscles to become engaged. It was a duh moment back then and it remains a duh moment to me now.

I'm re-reading A New Earth. I was almost done reading it when I got the call that Holly had been murdered. I haven't had the stomach for it since then. I only picked up my Bible again last winter. Amazing how quickly the ego takes over, once it gets its foot back in the door. Amazing how quickly you WANT it to take over. Despite what Eckhart Tolle thinks, I feel the ego does have a place, especially in times of great fear or sorrow. I think that we're designed that way, but because of civilization as we know it, in America at least, times of great fear and sorrow are a once-in-awhile occurrence and our egos aren't needed for survival and its power get displaced and we, as a nation, turn into a group of whiney spoiled brats. See, the real you is deep within your castle. It is highly vulnerable. It is protected by a great and mighty dragon that can take hit after hit after hit, but this dragon can't discern between good and evil. It views everything as a threat, essentially leaving the real you imprisoned and at the mercy of the dragon. I don't think the answer is to slay the dragon. I think one needs to keep him on a choke chain, calling on him when needed.

1/17/11

Right now, I'm enjoying a few moments in bed. I should be sick of it by now because I climbed in it around 12:30 yesterday afternoon and took a 4 hour nap, then was back to sleep by 10 and slept right through. Guess I needed it!

I'm also enjoying a wonderful cup of coffee. I'm hoping I get more energy as the cup drains, but really I have all day to get my workout in and it won't be outside. I guess it is like 20 out there right now. Blech! Today I plan on spending an hour on the recumbent bike and then doing my 60 minute super 4-mile walk. That should blast around 800 calories.

New Bangs

New Bangs
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

How much do you think my new haircut cost???

Snowww!!!

Snowww!!!
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

It snowed. In coastal Rhode Island where it usually rains. It is because I moved here. I could move to Africa and it would snow. Then they'd have to change the song.

January 2011

image
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

Rockin my Gap scarf and Steve Madden pea coat.

1/15/11

I worked out three times yesterday, and yes, I can still walk! The scale hast changed much, but I'm thinking I might be agreeing with the whole too few calories theory. The bottom line is, I just don't eat much, but I DO indulge in chocolate or cookies, but I can taken them or leave them. I find when I leave them, my caloric intake falls below 1200, way below some days. This can actually CAUSE weight gain! A body will hold onto all calories if its BMR is not met. My BMR under normal conditions would be between 1200-1500 calories per day. I eat a pretty healthy diet anyway, without cutting calories. Period. If I don't want to work out, then I need to cut calories. If I do want to work out then I need to maintain my calories, but it is hard. Working out is a huge appetite suppressant for me, as is stress, so I'm struggling to even meet 8 or 900!

This shouldn't be a difficult concept to grasp but I've battled with an eating disorder on and off since I was 12, so for me, eating what I want represents losing control of my control. The only times in my life that food has not been an issue has been when I'm pregnant. And what a glorious 40 weeks of stress free eating that is. Only one person really knows about my disorder and that is my sister. Oh, and my biology teacher in high school. He took a whole class period to talk about eating disorders when I got down to about 100 pounds my sophomore year. My mom had an eating disorder herself, and while she didn't encourage me verbally, silence is permission, I guess.

Anyway, my 30s have been fairly normal. The minute I feel the old habits creeping in, I call myself out, and remind myself that my body image is faulty, that I have a form of diagnosed OCD/anxiety that potentially can display itself in many ways, eating disorders, panic attacks, depression.

My point of all of this is that what I'm hearing is that I should just lose all control and eat, and drink and be merry. I'm sure that isn't what is being said, but this is what I'm hearing.

I'm Baaaaack

Okay, prayers on going. The blog world is small and when one of our own is down, word spreads quickly. Praying for healing for Joann, 38 year old mother and author, suffered a massive stroke the morning of the 12th. She is just a normal lady, doing her thing. Not overweight. No bad habits. It has definitely shaken me a bit because on paper, we're similar. Her wonderful husband has taken over the blog, keeping everyone updated. With all the tubes and wires, and half her skull removed to accommodate brain swelling, he said he still thinks she's beautiful. That is something my husband would say. Just know, she is a wonderful Christian and is loved by many because of her books (and good personality), and if God needs her, then there's no doubt in my mind, she's prepared for that.

I have no clever or even appropriate way to segue at all, so deal.

Work-out in! I had to do my hip hop dance party one because I lost my favorite bootcamp booty one! Again!!!! It'll turn up eventually. My body isn't made for hip hop! I also did 30 mins of cardio on the recumbent bike.


Today, I'm going to buy an accurate scale and one of Leslie Sansone's walking DVDs. My friend Lainey swears by them and lost around 50 pounds using several of them. I do get bored easy. My go-to exercises that I never get bored of are walking/jogging outside, the recumbent bike, and my bootcamp booty DVD. Swimming is never boring either.

I should probably learn to eat before I work out because I'm not hungry for a long time after, and when I'm finally hungry again, I'm ravenous. Simply ravenous. Plus I'm a bit frustrated. My body turns to muscle very quickly and I attribute this to the fact that I was a gymnast for a long time. Even after quitting, I work out regularly enough for my muscles to retain their memory. While I was losing weight just fine without working out, once I start doing more than walk around the block a few times, I stop losing. I still get smaller. Pants get looser, etc, but the scale stops moving for awhile. This is the HARDEST part of the process for me because I like watching the scale go down. I understand the mechanics. Muscle weighs more than fat. Muscle takes up less space than fat. I'm replacing fat with muscle at about the same pace so the scale isn't moving much, except when it does move, it is in the wrong direction. My trainer friends, Dan and Lacey both say the same thing, eat around a 100-cal snack before working out, and keep doing what I'm doing. Blah, blah, blah. It is STILL frustrating!!! I just have to get over this hump and it can take two to five weeks! Yuck!!! I would so get kicked off The Biggest Loser!

1/14/11

So much to blog but not in the writing mood. I have a lot of people in my life needing prayers, so I'm going to spend my day doing that. Have a great one!

1/13/11

So yeah, around 6-7 inches is all we got. The rest of southern and mid New England got around two feet of snow! I will take this small amount gleefully! Right here on the coastline, we even had some rain.

My plans for today are: drink a cup of coffee, work-out, clean myself up, eat a healthy lunch, drink some yummy green tea, and run errands with Janice. Pizza night with the family. Tomorrow is pretty much the same.

I can't wait to work-out outside again!

Snow Day

I so needed this day free of staff meetings! Now if only I was at the beach! In the warm sun.

I got my work-out in. Healthy snacks prepared for all. I love myfitnesspal.com. Just saying. A great way to be held accountable.

I have to go finish enjoying my snow day!!!

Arghhhhhhh!

What is it about cleaning that makes you realize what a mess everything else is!!! The baking, beverage and baby food and supply cupboard has been organized. That led to wiping down white cupboards, which then led to bleaching white cupboards, counters, stove, fan, walls and floor! Dishes are done, sinks and BEHIND the sink cleaned. Also, the utensil jar and tea kettle has been degreased. This has to be done from time to time people, even if they haven't been used!!! Both are located either on or very next to the stove top, which gets used, therefore covers everything with a greasy film, which then collects dust. Gross!!! Also not enjoying being on my hands and knees scrubbing grout between tiles. Guess this counts as my workout for today since I've been sweating since around 9:30. It is now 11. This was just the kitchen. The bathroom is next!!!

Workout tomorrow will be shoveling! Yay!!!

Naptime

Naptime
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

Napping in her pack-n-play.

Playing Peekaboo

image
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

1/11/11

Another crazy date. This year will surely be full of them. 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 9/10/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11.

I am super grouchy today. I think probably because I slept more than 8 hours. Hopefully it passes soon. Not grouchy every second, but I have very little patience this morning.

I think I will clean this morning. That usually gets my mood into a much better place. My kitchen needs some organizing. One cupboard specifically. Time to dig out the step ladder. Also going to bleach down the counters and cupboards. And go through the mail center.

Dinner seemed to be a success last night. We all really like the Italian stew. Tonight is sausage stuffed shells, sauce and Caesar salad. Tomorrow night will be the cheesy ham and rice bake.

The storm is supposed to hit around 7 tonight and snow right through tomorrow evening. The watch is over and has been upgraded to a warning. 12-16 inches expected, so we're looking at at least a foot! They did exclude Newport County and Block Island, and we're snuggly located between the two, so I'm curious to see the outcome. Regardless, we work in the rest of Rhode Island which will be getting upwards of 16 inches.

Okay, I want to start cleaning. Now you KNOW I'm feeling poorly!!!

Awwww Crap

They've upgraded the amount from 7-12 inches to 10-14 inches. I hope my most wonderful husband wants to stay home Wednesday and have a snow day with me.

Impending Storm

So yeah, supposedly Tuesday night into Wednesday evening we will be getting 7-12 inches of snow dropped on us. We shall see. If so, then I'm going to enjoy a nice cozy day trapped in the house! I have snacks, fruit, and hot chocolate, coffee and tea all stocked up. We have plenty of video games, books, movies, etc, plus I hope to actually get outside to enjoy it!!! I do have a staff meeting scheduled for that day, but I'm guessing if the storm actually hits its target, then it will be cancelled.

1/10/11

And we're back to Monday. I'm glad for the day off. So glad. So glad for this delicious cup of coffee I'm now consuming. And for the sweet dog sleeping by my side. And a funny baby playing on the floor trying to decide what kind of trouble she will get into today.

I made a delicious homemade chicken pot pie last night, with my own gravy!! Yum!!! Tonight's dinner will be Italian stew and tomorrow we will be having sausage stuffed shells and sauce with a Caesar salad.

So new movie reviews...the Last Exorcism=stupid, Dinner for Schmucks=some of the outtakes and behind the scene scenes were funnier, but it definitely had its moments. Not terrible. The more you watch it, the funnier it gets. Certainly one of those movies that looked like it was more fun making it.

I'm ready for the beach, please.

Cutie

Cutie
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

1/7/11

January is already dragging. Seriously the longest, most boring month ever.

The Last Exorcism was not scary. I like my scary movies to be scary. Still haven't finished Dinner with Schmucks. The kids really enjoyed it but so far I keep falling asleep.

2 Hours

Till I have to start my work week. Shopping with Janice for a few hours. I need sugar and shampoo. Of course, I will forget one or the other or both!

Feeling good again today! I hope I never again feel as poorly as I did all of December. Thanks to my husband for putting up with me.

I've cut my coffee down to 12 ounces per day. I'm drinking 32 ounces of brewed green tea per day. I'm also drinking 32 ounces of water per day.

I'm taking my daily multivitamin, my fish oil, vitamin c, and vitamin d supplements. I'm following a "diet" plan. Not really a diet. You eat what you want and add it then the app automatically calculates the calories and lets you know how many calories, carbs, proteins and fats you can consume. The total calories you can consume is based on your current weight, your goal weight and the date that you wish to achieve your goal weight. They then give you a number made up of calories, carbs, protein and fats. I have to say, it is VERY reasonable and I've yet to go over my allotment, even if I think I've pigged out. It is way more generous than I am when I diet on my own!!! Who knew you have to eat to lose weight! And it is working!!!

My Nerdy Self

My Nerdy Self
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

My New Bangs

My New Bangs
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

Love them!!!

Finally!

Finally!
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

An ok shot

What It Takes

What It Takes
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

This is my look of exasperation after taking a hundred pics to try to get an ok one of us together.

1/6/11

I've been lazy with blogging with photos lately. It isn't like it is hard to do. I have barely even taken a photo this year with a camera other than my blackberry. So I will try to be more consistent. Hmmmm, wrong word because I HAVE been consistent. I will make more of an effort.

Yesterday was the first time in more than a month (since Thanksgiving actually) that I have felt like myself! A paler version of myself and I can't wait till I can start tanning again!

1/5/11

Sooooo, kinda unsettling about the birds dropping dead from the sky huh? And the fish dying in the river. And North and South Korea. Of course, science will explain it all away because that is the plan. Or one could use the opportunity to make some changes in one's life as our future is clearly uncertain, and given the mentality of some persons armed with nuclear weapons, the human race could certainly become an endangered species very soon.

Ah well, enough current events. On to random ramblings.

I have a safety skills committee meeting tonight. Blah blah blah.

Most of the time, I really can't stand happy people. Seriously. Doesn't anything ever go wrong with you? And if it does, why must you put a positive spin on it? Why? I don't trust you uni-emotion people. I have God, I LOVE Jesus, but I still have bad days and I only get through most of them because of the love of my perfect family, sweet Sierra, and the fact that God is my rock. I don't feel the need to walk through life with an annoying smile on my face. In fact, if you're lucky enough to be graced with my smile, it is likely not my genuine one! That is saved for my husband, kids and a few close friends.

I love my new side swept bangs. Love them.

I love that it has been in the forties all week. 8 weeks till March! Oh how happy that makes me!

Our 8 month old Annabella has been letting go more and more when she's walking along furniture. Crazy how quickly she's growing up. She is soooo finished with gross baby food. She wants what is on your plate and eats it with great gusto. She's quite tall and weighs about 20 pounds. I'm not a fan of fat babies. Im not a fan of skinny babies. Sorry. I don't think they're cute. I like my babies to be proportionate. I love big eyes, sweet little button noses, wispy baby soft hair, cute little plump hands and squishy little thighs perfect for tickling. Bella has no allergies and has never had a cold. Her immune system is simply amazing! I had/have horrid allergies as a child and as an adult. Her mother has none. Her aunt has many and Uncle Zach has asthma.

It is almost ten. I have got to start my day. Here's to a good one.

1/4/11

I fell asleep very easily last night. I went to bed around 9 to read and about a half hour later I felt so relaxed I could just fall asleep and I did. Not that I have much trouble falling asleep but since around Christmas, my body clock has been off and I've been staying up way past ten. I was even up till after one on New Years. This causes me to sleep in later than I like. I like to be up around 7:15. I get my coffee, check out the news, read my friends updates, read my Bible and blog.

We had yummy taco soup last night. It isn't Kayla or Mitch's favorite, but Zach and I LOVE it!!! And they don't hate it, they just don't LOVE it like we do. Tonight we're having loaded baked potato soup. Tomorrow will be chicken enchilada lasagna.

1/3/11

A new day. Definitely chillier than the last two days. Only going to be around 40 today. Booooooooo. But the sun is shining so yay. Wind chill though, so booooooooo.

Surprisingly

It has been a surprisingly good day...surprisingly! My cough is still lingering but no major coughing fit. Some tightness in my chest that I'm trying to ignore but on the whole, better than yesterday. Another bloody nose this morning. Two today actually. Grrrrr.

Anyway, lots of cleaning was started. Floors swept and mopped. Christmas presents sorted and put away. Video game console organized and cleaned up. Dishes are done. Table cleaned off. Still have to organize the mail center at the end of the counter. Tomorrow maybe? Toys picked up.

Right now, the windows are open and we're enjoying the spring-like weather here in southern Rhode Island. The air is deliciously moist. Great for this cough I have. I'm still reading The House on Sugar Beach by Helene Cooper. I picked it because it is a memoir about a family in Monrovia, Liberia and I am great friends with a gentleman from Liberia, whose father was assassinated (he was a government official) right in front of him when he was 12. His brother was already in America away at college. Anyway, the book is full of pictures from that time frame and has pictures of some of the author's family members that were in the government. I'm mostly curious if they knew each other because clearly their families ran in the same circles but Im only like a third of the way done and am really ignorant about the conflict itself and there is always the possibility that the two families were on opposite sides! Interesting nonetheless!

Hayley heads back to school today and Zach's plane lands in Providence just after she gets dropped off. Tonight we're having pasta Alfredo and a Caesar salad. Man, it sounds like spring/summer out there. Winter is usually so silent because the windows are shut tight. I can hear sirens and birds and the fog horn. The snow has melted considerably. It'll all be gone by this week. Sooooo glad the weather is obliging my spring fever! And grateful core a good day, even if I'm not feeling or looking the greatest.

1/2/11

Looking forward to the next few days off. I'm in the mood to do some spring cleaning to start off the new year. My closet and the girls' room specifically. I'm certain I can eliminate one more bag of clothes/shoes for donation.

1/1/11

Crazy date.

12/31/10

This is it! The last day of 2010 ever! I'm hoping for a great new year, even though I don't like odd numbered years. I'm feeling better every day. I am sleeping well. Using a daily tracking record of food intake on my iPad, which has me eating better. It also keeps track of my water intake. I'm just about perfect regarding that. I'm also drinking 2 16-ounce mugs of green tea per day. 4-6 6-ounce cups are what you're supposed to shoot for. People can say what they want, good or bad, about superfoods, and I'd agree with most of it, but do not discount the benefits of green tea. When it comes to health, I'm sorry, I am going to side with ancient Chinese secrets over western medicine any day. And they drink WAY more than 36 ounces per day. I just can't do it. I'm already peeing at least once an hour. I do have a life that requires me to be in my vehicle a lot and having to pee all the time is not very convenient.

I'm very excited about my WonderFILE. I see it as being very very handy plus creates quite an effective work station while at the beach or park.

12/30/10

I suppose I should recap Christmas for proper record, as it was Bella's first. Being sick for most of December, first with MAJOR allergies and second with a moderate cold that has left a lingering cough, noticeable when I go in or outside and at bedtime, definitely made me lose my Christmas time enthusiasm early on. I rallied a few times, but it never got to usual proportions. Christmas isn't much fun without that magical essence.

The snow came AFTER Christmas. What's the point of that, right? Plus we were gone so we missed the whole storm. Some would call this good luck. I call it unfortunate. There's something magical about getting stuck in your house while there's a good old fashioned storm raging just on the other side of the door. Instead, we came back to about 10 inches of snow waiting in our driveway. You know what they say about all work and no play.

Christmas morning was fun. I got some cute pics of Bella and Zach. She seemed to know what she was doing and was cute playing with her toys. She definitely exceeded expectations for a baby's first Christmas! She loves her new toys. Let's just say Nonni has some experience picking out toys. I've spent loads of money on things I thought the kids would love and they'd end up being a dud. She loves toys that make noise and that she can bang around. She's beginning to walk and talk. She loves dogs. So we picked toys that were appropriate for her. Huge success, I'd say. The other three were much easier to buy for. Very happy with their new possessions.

We saw both sets of parents. The visits were short and sweet. Just like I like them. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see friends or extended family as we were stuck at the hotel for two days due to the storm.

The weather forecast looks good for the next two weeks or so. Low to high 40s. Should melt this snow right quick. 8 weeks till March! Very much looking forward to that first beach day. That unexpected warm early spring day that puts that bounce in your step and you break out the flip flops and find a warm sun baked rock to lounge on down at the beach. That one day that peeks out between more seasonable weather. That one day when you don't have to worry about pollen or hay fever or ozone levels. The only enemy is the bee or hornet that wakes up confused by the unexpected temperature, unless you count sea gulls as enemies, and I DO, after one brazenly broke into an unopened container of cookies and ruined them for human consumption by getting sand in the whole thing. I buried those cookies. If I couldn't eat them, that gull was not going to get them either! I'm still bitter and it happened like 3 summers ago!

As you can tell, my spring fever has hit early.

I know I've mentioned what a bitter taste 2010 has left in my mouth, but goal wise, I did pretty well. By tomorrow, I will have completed reading the Bible in a year for the 5th(?) time. I planned weekly menus and cooked at least 4 dinners per week. Thursdays are pizza night, and we either order out or Mitch makes pizza. Fridays are fast food night. And I'm gone Saturday nights, so hubby and the kids fend for themselves. We've consistently bought and prepared organic foods, virtually iliminating processed foods, except for the occasional lean cuisine or package of Kraft Mac and cheese. I've found that I'm even more susceptible to MSG since eating healthier. I can almost immediately identify it by taste alone, but certainly by the headache and hangover like feeling after consuming it. I've blogged pretty regularly again, so I feel sort of 'back' so to speak. I haven't bought any amount of books. I promised my husband I'd actually read the ones we own before buying anymore. I was buying 5 or more a week. I still pick up books for the baby and the occasional book at Savers if it is a title or author I'm looking for. I made a significant donation of books that I read this year. Felt good to finish a book and put it in the box to pass along to other readers.

New goals are: continue with previous ones, craft more, participate in the memory verse challenge on one of the blogs I read, do at least three yoga poses every other day, have one miser week per month in which the goal of that week is to see how little money we can spend on groceries, gas, etc, not because we need to, but to break the habit of just spending money because it is there, have a 'go crazy' shopping day once every three months, compost and have
one new experience per month.

Should keep me busy.

12/29/10

I'm so glad to be home today. I slept well last night. I had fun playing Glee Karaoke for the Wii!!! I got some fun new games for the Wii this Christmas. Super Mario included! Tiger Woods PGA 2011. We have some new DVDs to watch. Lots of Family Guy. The Vampire Diaries. The Waltons Season 2. The Sorcerer's Apprentice. So the next 8 weeks and 1 day till March will be enjoyable!

I'm also going to practice with my Instyler. It is much easier to do someone else's hair than your own with it, but I'm getting the hang of it.

What Day is It?

I've been trapped in a hotel in Bangor, ME due to a blizzard and I know it is Tuesday. Let's see, Saturday was the 25th so that makes today the 28th. We have about a foot of snow waiting for us in our driveway in Narragansett, RI. They get about one big storm every 10 years or so. This is the 2nd since I moved there 4 years ago.

We going to head back today. I've missed my Wii. I've missed my bed. I hate the heat in hotel rooms. I'm going to play in the snow when I get home. Sorry Zach has to miss the snow but then again, VA got some too!

I am going to chill out at home tomorrow. It'll be in the 30s and40s so I'm going to navigate the neighborhood and see the storm damage. Fun fun.

Merry Christmas!!!

I will post pics of Bella's 1st Christmas later. She loves her knew toys!

12/24/10

My last gift got delivered today. The one I ordered first! Go figure. Everything was here before Christmas. Everything was exactly what I ordered. Nothing broken. Perfect.

I ordered myself a year's subscription to The Rolling Stone for a huge discount of only $20 for the whole year. This used to be one of my favorite magazines during my high school years. That and Seventeen magazine! I was so sad when I out grew Seventeen and Teen and Tiger Beat. I quickly latched on to Cosmo. Still love me some Cosmo, but it isn't necessarily applicable since I'm married. It is more for the single girl. I mean really, I've been reading it religiously for about 20 years and in those 20 years I've collected a LOT of great sex tips. Just ask my husband. Pretty much hit the ceiling on sex tips. I'm really not a Woman's Day or whatever they're called kind of lady. I love US Weekly and People but I usually buy them at the checkout.

Merry Christmas Eve

Can't believe it is finally here!!!

Maybe midnight mass tonight. I'd like to go to midnight mass with my husband in my old church, but that would require me to be in Old Town right now.

My shopping is done. The presents are wrapped. It is all kind of surreal. Doesn't really feel like Christmas. Feels like any other day of the week.

I will be so glad when the stores are normal again. Actually the stores have been fine. It has been the parking lots. Crazy.

Today I'm going to clean and get organized for tomorrow. I need to clean the bathroom. Hayley will do the kitchen. Kayla will do the living room. Zach will deal with trash and pack.

Headache. I had a bad one last night and it is lingering today.

Making a List

All of my packages arrived yesterday except one! Wouldn't you know it is the one I ordered in plenty of time before the holiday rush? All of the packages I ordered Sunday and Monday even came last night. Goes to show you, procrastinate and wait for all the stores to offer free upgrades on their holiday shipping. That's actually how they reeled me back in, guarenteeing the order would be here before Christmas Eve. So let's see...I don't need to leave my bedroom, the presents will be here for Christmas, AND you're going to give me a free upgrade on shipping? Heck ya! The deals are much better the last few days, too!

Hayley is going shopping with Janice and me today. I have to pick up some more wrapping paper and Hayley has to pick up a few gifts for her brother, sister and niece. I also have to pick up the turkey breast and appetizers for Christmas dinner. Everything else is nestled away in the cupboard. Zach leaves early Christmas morning, so it is just going to be a small group for dinner.

Lots more wrapping to do! I thought I was close to being done. Let's just say I'm super glad I did what wrapping I did the other day!

That's MY spot!

That's MY spot!
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

She loves her Pop!!!

Taking over Nonni's side

image
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

Bailey & Jenn

Bailey & Jenn
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

This picture is about 5 1/2 years old. Miss Bailey Elizabeth is 10 today!!!

Today

Today I could almost convince myself it is spring. Our lawn is still green. No snow to be seen. The winter's been mild...30s, 40s, even some 50s and 60s. There's snow to the north and snow to the south and snow to the west. Maybe if I put the lawn chair out and go sit in it like it is a normal spring day, I can convince mother nature that it IS spring!

It's weird. Last week I wanted snow for Christmas. Then again, last week I wanted it to be Christmas. I'm over it. Glad that crazy hibernation mode is done for me. I want spring. I want long warm days. Is it still 9 weeks for us here in RI? Sometime in March, God gives me my first beach day of the year. I just have to get through long boring can we just skip this month January.

12/22/10

Happy Birthday to My Bailey-boo. I already sent her a facebook birthday wish! She loves that she can talk to me on FB whenever she wants on her iPod touch. This little girl and I go back almost her entire life!

Our staff meeting/holiday party is at 11 this morning. Should be a good day. Mitch is coming home from work early today. I miss him. We've been doing so much shopping apart during our free time I feel as if I haven't seen him in a month. He kissed me goodbye this morning and told me to keep in touch! Four sleeps till our hotel room sex fest. I'm sure it'll be anything but, but here's to hoping!

Grrrrrrr!

Looking like tomorrow and Thursday will be the big gift delivery day according to my UPS package tracker. Only one package came today, but it was the "expensive" one. Hope Hubs likes it!

Work was awesome today! How often do those words come out of my mouth??? Not often enough. I wish every day were as fun as today!

8 Months Old!!!

Hard to believe how quickly the last two months flew right by! Bella has learned how to climb stairs! What a stinker! I have a wooden stair stepstool to get up into my bed and she climbs it and waits till you pull her up into bed with you.

I do not want to work today. Why did I agree to this?

Regretting

Completely regretting my decision to fill in at work tomorrow for a couple of hours. It is only three hours, with an additional hour for commute. Still.

A lot was accomplished today. Presents all wrapped except for the ones that haven't been delivered. I'm going to thank myself on Christmas Eve for this. I feel good about what we bought. We bought things we wanted but that would keep us entertained for the next 8 weeks of winter. Even less of winter if we vaca in Florida again.

I played like 15 games of mancala with Zach on my iPad tonight.

I saw The Fighter at the movies on Friday. It was great.

I can't believe that no packages were delivered today. I've checked online and they've been checked in at the Wakefield center, which is the next town over, and have been in transit from this location since 11AM. Seriously? It takes 8 hours to cross a town line? Frustrating.

The kids are playing Harry Potter Scene It. I'm in my room, enjoying the fact that most of the presents are out of my closet and wrapped under the tree. Yes, the presents go under the tree as they accumulate. My kids didn't get into the whole Santa thing. I see no positive outcome in lying to kids about where the presents come from. Santa is a historical figure but has nothing to do with the birth of Jesus. We do celebrate Christmas with presents and I DO have Santa decorations and pictures of the kids on Santa, but they knew from the start that he is make believe and just a fun tradition. Now, I DO have issues with some of my friends that are self-proclaimed atheists or agnostics, yet they still expect Christmas presents from their families. Check out their FB profiles, and yet they're wrapping and shopping away. If I didn't believe in Jesus, I would not be celebrating his birth.

Anyway, I'm excited for the big day to finally come and go so life can get back to normal. I have some trips coming up that I'm excited about. Some adventures to live. Some shopping to get back to, once all the stupid people get out of stores.

12/20/10

Miss Bella will be 8 months old tomorrow!!! She's crawling all over the place and cruising along all furniture. She says mama and dada pretty consistently and waves hi and bye. She eats baby food and grown up mashed food. She also feeds herself the puffed up dry cereal. She has four teeth and her hair is getting longer and thicker every day.

Christmas shopping on my part is essentially done. I'm going to wrap some today. Some stuff has to wait till it gets delivered. Obviously.

I lost a whole day yesterday. This cold is fast and furious. I felt a little better but so exhausted and really out of it. I fell asleep yesterday at 2 in the afternoon and slept till about 6:30. Woke up for a dinner of homemade chicken soup and a movie. I was out again by nine pm. Slept till midnight. Got up to pee then out again till 9:30 this morning. Feeling better but still on the weak/dizzy side. Definitely staying off the cold medicine today. I hate when my brain feels fuzzy.

Kayla is making some homemade hot chocolate and some Chex mix. It is good to smell and taste things again even if only a little.

Congestion

Well this is a quick moving cold! My nose and sinuses are draining/clearing today. Slept horribly, but I think that was for the best. Feel much better up and moving around. Making chicken and dumplings for dinner. Hot soup will help! And hopefully bed early tonight. I have lots to do tomorrow whether I'm feeling it or not!

12/18/10

Feeling blah today. Woke up with a stuffy nose. My husband is doing some of my (our) Christmas shopping. The gift cards that I said I'd pick up. Definitely NOT feeling good today, so I thank him and Zach very much for dealing with that task today, the last Saturday before Christmas. I will finish up hubby's shopping on Monday morning, when it will hopefully not be so crazy.

I'm working on my day off Tuesday for about three hours at one of our day programs on the west side. Wednesday is our staff meeting, but at least it'll be at Hopkins and not in Jamestown.

This week I will just be waiting for more deliveries to arrive. The next few days will prove to be insanely busy in that regard.

Did I mention how blah I'm feeling? This is NOT the week for bronchitis. I still have to get groceries for Christmas dinner. This will be a Thanksgiving Lite. A turkey breast, gravy, potatoes, squash, cranberry sauce and stuffing. Chips and dip, cheese and crackers. For breakfast, I thought we would have the usual cinnamon rolls plus bagels toasted in the oven with various cream cheeses. Sunday, we will head to Maine for a mini trip. It is pathetic that I'm more excited about a night alone in a hotel room with my husband than any other Christmas activity!

12/17/10

I have lots to do today, but should be all done with Christmas today!!! Yay!!! After today, I can sit back and enjoy the holiday. Really looking forward to that!

12/16/10

I woke up at 5 am this morning, convinced this whole Christmas thing was a bad idea. Glad I fell back to sleep and woke up with a change in attitude, as I have some wrapping to do!

One of my favorite traditions is staying up till midnight, wrapping gifts, drinking a glass of wine, and then going to midnight mass. I haven't gone to midnight mass in about 7 years or so, but I always miss it. Maybe I will drag my husband to it this year, even though I'm no longer a practicing Catholic. It is a very peaceful service and a perfect time and place for reflection and meditation.

I have no idea what I'm going to wear tonight. I won't have time to change clothes so I'm going to have to leave the house wearing what I will wear for the Christmas party. Oy! This is going to be a long day!

Hayley comes home tomorrow for winter break!

The shower is calling my name.

Okaaaaaaay

I'm a little late on the coffee this morning so maybe that will prove to be at the bottom of this mood. Not really a mood as much as a lack of motivation. I'd like a snow day please. We have bright sun shining away with freezing cold air. It is looking like it won't be a white Christmas this year. Christmas 2007-no snow. 2008-dusting of snow. 2009-big snow. 2010-no snow. It is making me feel a little bah humbug, because really? If it ain't gonna snow, then I'd better be able to lay in the sun! And I could desperately use a beach day! Just one and we can get back to the regularly scheduled season already in progress.

Okay, I'm now drinking my much anticipated coffee. I literally have the slowest coffee maker known to man. Krupps sucks. Save your moolah and just buy a cheap Mr. Coffee. Plus it is acting all Franco-American now. It works, but it's quirky. You have to add one more cup of water than the number of cups you intend to make, except on the rare morning it actually works like it is supposed to, in which case your coffee will be weak. I'm Franco American AND Irish so spare me any racial diatribes. I've grown up in a French speaking home with wonky appliances that my grandmother refuses to throw away. You gotta jiggle the toilet handle three times so it stops running. You gotta stand on one foot, close one eye, hold your breath and push the lower left corner of the power button on the microwave. Spoons go in the jar in the cupboard, not the drawer with the rest of the silverware. Duh. Never trust a leftover or a condiment in the fridge without first checking labels or asking the exact date she cooked something and then having my grandfather verify. Or medicine. You're likely going to be given something dating back to the Korean War. Love my memere. Don't love her expectations of usefulness or lack of conscience regarding expiration dates.

12/15/10

This will be the only time I mention this today. It has been a year since my grandfather passed away. A long and not particularly great year. I'm not going to dwell. This is a busy time of the year and I have hundreds of reasons to be thankful.

Tonight, Zach is cooking dinner for his family for a homework assignment. He's making stuffed orange peppers. Sounds yummy. I will buy the ingredients today.

I should be just about done shopping by Friday. I'm almost done now, but don't want to spend my day off today in crowded stores or on the busy road. I'm going shopping with Janice tomorrow anyhow, before her Christmas party. I will finish up my gift card buying on Friday. That will just leave me to pick up a few odds and ends extras for my husband.

Lazy day

Lazy day
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

See? Told ya! Sweatshirt and dorm pants kinda day!

12/14/10

It is a sweatshirt and dorm pants kind of day. Minimal make up. Hair tied back. I did shower and brushed and flossed my teeth. The floor is swept and washed. I'm slowly straightening things up. We're going to have taco salad for dinner. Other than that, I'm doing nothing! Not a thing! Not anything useful anyway.

It's About That Time

I have to admit, I will not be sad to see 2010 leave. WHAT A YEAR! Tomorrow will be a year since my grandfather passed away. With the exception of the loss of Papa, it started out ok. We took a lovely vaca to Florida. Of course, the best news of the year was the birth of our sweet Annabella!! Exciting as her arrival was, it was stressful beyond belief for me, worrying about Kayla. Things are slowly settling down on that front, and we're enjoying the gift of having this precious baby in our home. It won't be forever, but what a blessing, to be an every day part of her first year!

Hayley graduated high school. She's away at school now. Stressful, stressful, stressful! Deep down, I know this is the best thing for her, but it is scary to give up control.

Zachary turned 16 this year. He only cuddles about a few times a month for just a few minutes, till he remembers he's 16. I'm finally "getting the game" so to speak. He wants to cuddle, but can't because of the whole age boy thing, but is unhappy if I don't try to make him cuddle. My thought is, why bother, he's obviously too grown up for this, so I gave him space. This is wrong. He wants me to make him, so he has an excuse to still cuddle without looking like a weenie. So why can't you just tell me the rules of the game??? Stressful.

My husbands job? Stressful. My job? A stressful year to be sure, but the schedule change has me hopeful for a better 2011. Thanks to my husband and boss for finally taking me serious that I needed a change so I could focus on some personal areas.

Despite the outside stressors, my husband and I don't have any real problems. It is odd how if you could erase everything, and just leave the two of us standing there, we'd be perfect. Obviously, that's not how life is supposed to be. I really just want to spend time with him. HIM. Only him.

So New Years resolutions for 2011:

Continue with healthy habits, modifying as necessary
Keep up with my daily Bible reading. January 2011 will mark the 5th time I've read the Bible through.
Spend QUANTITY time with my husband. It is always quality.
Get to the beach often. (please no record hot and humid summer like last year) (and no dead whales washed up on shore)
Craft a lot
Write more
Finish reading at least one book a month
Sew more
Meditate
Make new memories

Tuesday Already

I have today and tomorrow off, too, so I'm going to relax today. Clean my house. Take a quick trip to the grocery store to buy tonight and tomorrow's dinner. I will pick up wrapping paper and finish up stocking stuffers on Thursday. Friday, I will pick up gift cards, Family Guy volumes 5, 6, and 8 (I think), The Waltons season 2 and The vampire Diaries season one. Then I will just have to worry about shopping for my husband. Really no idea.

Puppy Love

Puppy Love
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

Yes, this is THE cutest picture ever!!!

Look at our vicious pit bull! Seriously, have never had a better dog! Support your local animal shelter! Spay and neuter your dogs AND adopt a rescue if you can. You won't regret it!

Finally

What a long day!!! Bella's Christmas presents are all bought and in my closet. Very proud of myself!

Also got my nails did...and actually did my hair and wore make-up today! Feeling a lot more like myself. Two co-workers have the same rash/bubbles on their lips and eyes. LG was told hers was an infection. R was told hers was poison ivy. I just assumed mine was an allergic reaction to something because I have a history of eczema and asthma. This is kinda what happened with the H1N1. I know we ALL got it at the day program. Plus Hayley and Zach got it. This was before it was diagnosed as H1N1. Anyway, we were all told it was the flu, except Ive HAD the flu and the symptoms were like the flu but different. Anyway, I told the kids, just wait and watch, they'll announce a new virus or strain before the year's out and they did. Sad when a regular person can figure this out but doctors think you're crazy till they decide for themselves somethings off.

This rash doesn't appear to be contagious because my husband and children have no issues. I'm wondering if it environmental since it seems to be affecting co-workers. Two of us did use the same brand of chapstick, though. Kind of a weird coinky dink. I'm gonna laugh if the CDC comes out with a new kind of viral strain of something causing chicken pox like itchy rash.

Ok back to happy blog post. Enjoying a yummy dinner I like to call one dish chicken. Homemade pumpkin mini pies for dessert. Sierra and Bella are flipping adorable. Bella was laying on her tummy playing and Sierra felt it was necessary to lay on top of her. What can I say, Bella, except paybacks a bitch. Literally. Right now we are watching A Christmas Carol...again! Jim Carrey version. Looks super on the big screen. So glad boxed tv days are over!!! I'm very pleased with the turn technology has taken.

12/13/10

Kayla and I put a small dent in the shopping. Today I want to get my nails done and then finish up the baby at Toys R Us.

The rain and wind stopped so today should be more enjoyable. I'm going to enjoy probably the last 50 degree day before "winter" hits. No snow for us yet.

Listamania

This is more for me because writing helps me see things in print and helps me remember things plus will allow me to see any missing holes.

Mitch:
Gold
No idea

Me:
Uggs (yes, pair number 3)
Bean boots
Hickory Farms meat/cheese/cracker basket
Wonder file

Zach:
Jacket
Sneakers
Family Guy season
Ski gloves

Hayley:
iPod touch (maybe)
Family Guy Season
Gift card
Yoga pants


Kayla:
Gift cards
Book
CNA class
Yoga pants

Bella:
Play and learn kitchen
Activity walker (the baby carriage one)
Baby Gap clothes
Other assorted toys that we find cute and adorable

House:
printer ink
New house plant to replace one I dropped
Wii games

Stocking Stuffer Gifts:
Razors
Body wash
Loofahs
Fancy mugs
Favorite chocolate

Presents

I SO have not felt like shopping. Granted, the allergic reaction had me out of commission for a good bit of time, but still not feeling like it. So I vow that tomorrow, hubby and I will attempt to get at least the stocking stuffer presents taken care of. Razors, hair dye(for the girls), shaving lotions, loofahs, shampoo/conditioner for the girls, especially stuff like that for Hayley while she's away at school so she doesn't have to spend her money on it. We can probably get Bella all done too and maybe pick out Mitch's gold jewelry. There's a book Kayla would like and then I figured a gift card or two for her. Family Guy and Wii games are for the house. Zach wants Nike Air Force sneaks I guess and a North Face jacket. I also figured he'd get some new ski gloves. Fancy mugs and cocoas, coffees, and teas for all. I'd like to get Hayley a new iPod since Zach and I basically ruined hers. He borrowed it and left it in his pocket. I washed and dried it. It still works but it needs to stay plugged in to do so. She consistently borrows mine and consistently uses it. I use mine working out and laying in the sun and am still happy with my 3rd gen. Zach has the touch. Kayla has the 4th gen nano. I'd like to get her the touch but really don't want it stolen. She leaves her net book home for this reason but the iPod would probably be safe in her purse. It is something I need to talk to her about. She may not even want a new one, and if not then gift cards for her as well. The house needs printer ink.

So it'll look light under the tree but what can you do? We're not interested in junk just to make it look like a lot on Christmas morning and future Christmases there will be more as Bella will want more specific toys. But as a mom, I just don't feel right not having a lot under the tree, even if what is under the tree costs more than lots of junky presents that nobody really wants. If you ask my kids though, they will tell you they don't care, that they get what they want, usually when they want it, so for them, Christmas isn't a big deal. I try to remember that, but Christmas WAS a big deal when I was a kid.

The 80s were a time of having to have certain items upon your return to school after the holiday. Specifically, walk mans, leg warmers, rubic's cube, cassettes, stereos, tv's, atari games, cabbage patch doll, designer jeans, popcorn stitch mittens with fluffy fur on the inside, new ice skates, Nikes, and for me, lots and lots of books. If I wasn't playing outside, I was reading. Favorite family gift was the VCR and video camera. Personal fave gift: my middle school letter jacket with my name, track letter and pins, it was awesome!!!

12/9/10

I'm going to hop in the shower in a few but thought I'd blog for a bit since I didn't yesterday. I'm feeling infinitely better! The humidifier I bought for the bedroom is doing a great job. I'm not waking up all tight feeling on my face.

Still feeling crafty. Now that my schedule has changed for the better, I'm looking forward to investing some time in crafty projects. The picture blocks were a big hit with some of my friends and they've been making them for themselves and friends and family. Sophie burned me Mariah Carey's newest holiday cd. I have to say, little things like this are the most fun at Christmas. I read a blog somewhere that some people abide by these rules for gift giving under the tree: something you want, something you need, something homemade, and something to read, and something from Santa. As the kids get older, and have their own families, I think this is something Mitch and I might adopt. Now, I do NOT want to adopt this rule for Bella. I'm so looking forward to Mitch and I being able to go crazy when she's older and can understand the whole concept of presents. I want her to know that she can ask her Nonni and Pop for anything. My Grandpop was like that with me. Anything I wanted, no matter how frivolous or trendy it might be, he made it happen.

Grandpop loved me more than anyone. I was his favorite. Every time he saw me, and I mean every time, even if it was four times in the week, he'd tell me the story of the first time he saw me in the hospital, how I was the most beautiful baby he'd ever seen. He's been gone since
October 1998. I lost my biggest fan. Or so I thought. My husband loves me like that. I know if my grandfather were alive and I told him about Mitch, his exact words would be, Can he play ball? Grandpop lived and breathed baseball, playing minor league until he joined the Air Force during WW II and then chose to play ball for the army. He coached little league in Old Town for 20 plus years, which made me a popular girl with the boys, except for when he'd say, "Jennifer, get out there and show that clown how to throw a ball." Except he would have called him Alice and not clown. PC my grandfather was not. If you were a pre-teen/teenage boy in the 70s or 80s and lived in the OT area, you wanted to be on my grandfather's team.

This was an era when Atari was cool, but not a time suck. Playing outside with your friends began at sun up and ended at sundown. I remember laying in bed at night and my legs would ache. Would ache so bad sometimes it would wake me up. They would ache because I never stopped moving when I was a kid. Roller/ice skating every day. Double Dutch. A game of baseball or kickball (my preferred game of ball), skiing, swimming, hours upon hours perfecting my gymnastics routine. Oh yeah, and riding my bike everywhere I needed to be. I would literally bound out of bed each morning, so excited to greet each day with energy and enthusiasm. What happened to that girl? I knew no fear. I could have died every single day of my life when I think back on my adventurous youth. I'm so scared as an adult. What will this person think. What if this happens. How will this look.

I want to be that kid again, but with some grown up boundaries.

Napping on Uncle Zach

Napping on Uncle Zach
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

Cruising!

Cruising!
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

Yes, walking along furniture at 7 months! Playing with her best friend Sierra!

Tree 2010

Tree 2010
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable

Zach did a superb job with the tree. Pretty much I put hooks on ornaments. He did the rest.

12/07/10

Been up since about 5:30 but that's perfect since I fell asleep at about 9:30. So beautiful outside with the clear bright blue skies. Pretty cold though. Not looking forward to venturing out in it and I don't have to if I don't want to.

I'm feeling crafty again. I really think I need to start using the sewing machine more often. I also need printer ink. I mean, I guess I'm glad we use it up as opposed to it drying up but jeepers creepers.

First and foremost, gotta decorate! Need a tree! I think we'll just do tree and stockings this year and forgo on my fine Christmas decor because some of it is irreplaceable and we got a Bella in the house! Plus this house is so stinking crappy to decorate. Hate this house. Hate ranch style houses as a rule. So can't wait to move. One more year. One more year. One more year. June 2012 can't come soon enough. Maybe sooner if something incredible becomes available. Never again will I be boxed in. Who wants to live in an ugly little box? Give me a colonial or give me a condo. I'd even take our previous cape over this monstrosity. But I will spend the new year dreaming of my big girl house and all the ways I'm going to decorate.

So

So I'm not completely disgusting anymore but in my opinion, I have a bit to go still. I'm not wearing my glasses, so that is a sign in the right direction. I just haven't tanned in almost ten days, wisely so, and I hate that vampire like appearance. It more of the I've been sick all week appearance. Kind of lost that healthy glow.

I've decided to just take it easy today. Clean a little. Relax a lot. I need to pick up some groceries for dinners this week. I will be home to cook dinner every night this week, so that's neat. I can't remember the last time that was the case!

In 9 days it'll be a year since my grandfather passed away. It's been a crazy year but my family has gotten closer because of it. 2010 was pretty much crap. Except for the birth of my beauty!!!

I think the kids and I will play some Wii tonight. We're going to have Asian Cole slaw with mandarin oranges, cheesy meatloaf and squash. None of it really goes together but that's what the kids want! Haha.

12/06/10

Our niece Gabby's birthday is today. I used to be her favorite person. In fact, she's been known to say, "I couldn't wait to get outta my mother's belly because I KNEW you'd be right there waiting to take care of me, Aunt Jenn!" (She's not exactly close with her mom. My brother has had custody of her since she was 1.) But lately, Uncle Mitch has usurped my glory. She will text him, using MY phone even, and say, you're the BEST uncle. I love you.

My mother's birthday is tomorrow. She will be 58. My nephew Charlie's 2nd birthday was Thursday and my niece Grace's is coming up this week. I'm surrounded by Sagittariuses in my family. I'm the only Leo. As it should be!

I think I'm going to take my shower now. Maybe go for a nice walk today and enjoy this lovely sunny day! Snow storm in Maine right now. What a difference a five hour drive (south) makes!

Pizza Rolls

It is a pizza rolls and fries kind of night. Zach and I are just getting home. Enjoyed Harry Potter this afternoon. Sunday afternoons are a nice time to go to the movie theater. Sunday afternoons during Christmas shopping season. Definitely not as crowded as usual.

Right now we're watching My Girl 2. Chilly out there tonight. No snow for us. I also have a headlight out but it is too dark and chilly for me to try to figure out how to replace it.

Going to snuggle down for the night.

12/05/10

Watching Eclipse this morning. My work is all caught up. Database done!!

My face is just about back to normal. Some dry areas but learned how to NOT treat my skin!

I don't have to really "work" again till next Saturday!!! Love time off.

Playing with a cute little Bella this morning. She's saying dada. Of course she's saying it to Zach, so she clearly doesn't have much understanding of the word. She also stares intently to your lips and teeth when you say the ABCs to her. Sometimes she tries to copy you. Yes, I am convinced this 7 month old baby is a genius! She waves hi and bye. She claps her hands and says "yay". Right now she's playing quietly in her pack and play.

Grrrrrr

Glad to know PMS symptoms don't stop for other illnesses. Boobs hurt, head aches, and grouchy as all get out. Just have to do that stupid data base crap at work and then I'm hiding till Wednesday.

Seriously wish I could live alone sometimes. No kids. No husband. So when I put something somewhere it stays there. My clothes stay my clothes and stay where my clothes go. I wouldn't have to share anything. Food, chocolate, soda. A place where my shit doesn't get broken. Where all my dishes match because half of them haven't already been broken. Where a roll of toilet paper lasts me forever. Where I never go to the fridge or cupboard and find empty cartons or boxes. Where I'd never notice if I were in a bad mood because I'd have nobody to yell at.

List

General list of gifts I need to buy:

North Face jacket
Family Guy (seasons that we don't already have)
Wii games
Bean boots
Gold jewelry
Stocking stuffers
Toys for Bella
Fancy cups/coffee drinks and hot cocoas for me and the girls. (Probably Mitch and Zach too because they're girlie.)
I want a frikken Pepperidge Farm meat stick/assorted cheese/cracker basket. I've waited my whole life to be a grown up to receive one of these things and have still never gotten one!!!
Wonder Files

Wow. We're fancy! Haha. It is mostly because Mitch and I don't wait till Christmas to get what we want. Already have the 37 inch tv mounted on the wall in the bedroom. Already have the 55 inch tv in the living room. Had the iPad since July. We're all set on the iPods. Got a nice digital camera last Christmas and all set on the video camera. My MacBook is three years old. Will probably get a new one next year or so.

Really I just want time. Time to enjoy each other and time to play the Wii games and watch Family Guy and listen to music and read and time to eat my meat stick and enjoy my fancy coffees and cocoas.

12/04/10

I think I fell asleep early last night. I was watching Harry Potter. Just waking up now.

Next week, I have an inservices 9-10 am on Wednesday, followed by a staff meeting 11-1. That'll be a short day. Thursday is shopping with Janice. No Salve. Friday is shopping with David. This light schedule will allow me to get things ready for Christmas. Zach changed his mind a bit. Still wants a winter coat but thinks he wants a North Face like mine, and not the one with the outer shell and inner fleece. Just not pink he said. Hahahaha. Really, Zach? You mean one like Mitch's?

I want Bean boots. I have no idea where mine went. Possibly in storage. We moved here in August 2007, so my memory is dimming. However, im almost certain no clothing was put in there I probably gave them away. The reason I want them is because even though it rains more than snows, the rubber foot part will stay dry. Newport and Jamestown have horrible drainage when it rains and I was quite ticked off when I had no choice but step in a 10 foot wide puddle about six inches deep, to get into my car. This puddle was not there before the storm about two hours earlier. And I had to drive home with cold, totally drenched sneakers and socks. So gross!

Last year, we did get about 12 inches os snow dropped on us in one storm. Supposedly that happens about once every ten years or so around here. Our first winter here, we got zero snow. Such a great treat for me! I had had literally tons of Maine snow every year of my life up till that point. By the next year, I was missing a white Christmas and we had about four inches that winter a few days before Christmas, so another nice treat for me. Last year, I was missing big snow. We almost missed it too because we were in Maine at the time for my grandfather's funeral. We were met with a foot of snow when we returned to our driveway.

We will see what this winter brings. It needs to get below 40 before any action can happen. Most days it is still in the area of 45-55 degrees, occasionally dipping to 40. It is probably in the 30s at night but who is out at night?

Wow, is it actually Saturday? Seems like it should be Friday.

Does anyone else hate people this time of year? I do my Christmas shopping online or at night or early morning, so I forget sometimes about the crazy people. It is so frustrating when you're only running in for effing deodorant or what have you and get stuck in line behind people who do their entire Christmas shopping at Walmart. I do utelize the self checkouts whenever possible but those lines get long because inevitably you get behind some douche that has to use cash. It is only a speedy self checkout when everyone has credit/debit cards. Since I'm really only there for beauty/health supplies or the occasional electronic, I can probably skip the experience till after New Years all together.

I did break down and buy Bella's pack and play there yesterday. I hate buying Walmart baby items. Just a personal thing.

Ahhhhhhh!

My lips are back! Yay! My skin feels so much better too! So much for that fancy pricey Eucerine face wash and night cream. I was using that stuff too around the same time frame as this nightmare. Gonna stick with the Johnson's baby bath thank you very much.

Had a very yummy salad tonight for dinner. A mandarin chicken salad with sweet and sour chicken that I made. Kayla made hers into a wrap and Zach ate his on rice.

Bought Bella-boo a pack and play today. So cute. Got it to keep her out of trouble when one has to make coffee, go to the bathroom, etc. This girl is on the move! Giving up on crawling on her hands and knees. Why, when she can run on her hands and feet. Yeah, like a baby gorilla. She also walks along all the furniture.

We're going to clean tomorrow. Super clean in preparation of our Christmas tree probably Wednesday night. I asked Zach if we could forgo the tree this year since there's a Bella in the house. He said, "no tree this year means two trees next year!"

Maybe...

Feeling better I think. Maybe. That could change in five minutes or so, so I don't want to get too excited yet. I'm up to about 50-60 ounces of water a day right now. Urine output and color is suggesting no dehydration so that is good. May pick up a humidifier for my bedroom. Usually this area is ultra humid in the winter being right on the ocean but the air is definitely dry out there and has been for weeks. The electric heat probably isn't helping much, but we really haven't needed to have it on much this year yet, so I'm not sure if I should bother factoring that in or not. Plus, I don't have the heat on in the bedroom. I DO think the major culprit is the amount of time i spend in my vehicle driving and using lots of heat. My face has been tight and dry. I think I over scrubbed and over medicated which resulted in an allergic reaction. Significantly, my lips and eyes. Lips are much better. Just Vaseline on the actual lip area to prevent future over licking. Letting nature take its course with the blisters around my mouth. Pretty much all gone. Just a few trouble areas.

My eyes are feeling a little better. I think the washing twice a day with the baby bath solution is soothing a lot of the discomfort. I put a very small amount of Vaseline on the lid area to help hold the moisture in and prevent further wind/cold dry air and hot dry air in the car from doing further damage. They also recommended hot moist compresses on the lids up to four times per day. I'm thinking maybe tonight before bed, I will give that a try. Beginning to think there might be an end to this tunnel. Really missing my five minute make-up routine though. Allergies are HIGH MAINTENANCE!

I did my hair and the rest of me is feeling a bit back to my normal self.

12/03/10

Yes I'm awake. Not really up. Still in my warm bed and drinking my coffee. I was thinking of dozing off for a bit, but that would probably screw up my evening routine. Besides, first thing in the morning is when coffee tastes its best.

Shopping with David today. A quick and easy dinner tonight and then this very weird week is OVER! Talk about stressful. I can have mild anxiety on any given day and usually do, but I'm busy so it passes. My anxiety increases when health issues arise, but as long as the rest of my life is status quo, I'm usually good to go. My anxiety increases when my regularly scheduled life gets out of whack, easy peasy if I'm not sick or dealing with other stressors. But once in awhile, all planets converge to try and stop this mighty Leo. Talk about taking some cheap shots! Mess with a Leo's hair or face and that's the equivalent of hitting below
the belt. And I really don't care if you're not as vain as I. I am who I am. Deal. Or don't. Being called vain is not an insult to me.

My hair and my face are my shields and weapons from and against the world. Wasnt it Solomon whose power from God was in his long hair? Must have been a Leo! When I don't look good, I don't feel as confident and nobody likes an unconfident Leo. So anyway, sometimes when I'm sick, if I force myself to get ready, out of pajamas, showered, hair did, make up did, etc, I
end up feeling better. But in this health instance, that option was an impossibility. See? Astrological cheap shot number one.

Throw in an altered schedule, a lion cub leaving the den, the hint of IRS bologna, and a MIA husband and that would be astrological hits two, three, four and five. Almost feel like I'm in an old school nintendo video fighting game playing against my brother, who has the cheat book and won't stop using the stupid combos. I expect some stupid dark computer voice to say, "perfect combo, extreme combo...Victory!" as I am pummeled to the edge of the roof and then fall to my death.

However, this Leo doesn't depend on her power alone anymore. I have a supreme power. The power of powers. And He's carrying the load right now. People pray for miracles. People ask why God doesn't perform miracles like during Jesus' time and I have two answers for this, first answer is, He does. Second answer is, you just asked to witness a miracle from God. Oh, what you meant was, you wanted somebody else to be inflicted with suffering and watch God fix things from the sidelines. Oopsies! You kind of have to pay attention to the fine print with this supreme being.

That being said, I know better than to ask to witness miracles. My guess is this current affliction is a lesson to be learned. Better get studying.

Heavenly Goodness

I often often often have itchy eyes. Allergies. I'm not a fan of medication and often just endure. So online, I read several places where Johnson's Baby Shampoo is what doctors even eye doctors, suggest you wash your eyes twice a day with. Well, we have a baby in the house. Only Johnson's Baby Bath stuff though, but tried it anyway. My skin and eyes haven't felt this comfortable since this summer. Oh my ahhhmazing!!!

My body is killing me! Safety Skills went well. Jim let me train a few and introduced me as one of the new trainers. Of course my face is a wreck, but my teaching nature took over and success. Demonstrating restraints is tiring and causes very achey thigh muscles, when done properly. Yup, got them!

Now, I'm going to relax. I have great kids. When I got home, Kayla had cleaned the house, done the dishes, had done some grocery shopping and picked up stuff I like to help me feel better. The baby was sleeping by herself. Zach was sleeping in my bed. His fever finally broke. I'm convinced Mommy's bed is the magic cure for him! He's now out in his own bed. Hopefully he's better tomorrow. And Hayley called tonight. She's adjusted seamlessly. Not sure why my kids can't seem to be able to act like this when Mitch is around.

Nighty night.

Welcome Back Anxiety Old Friend

The upside of anxiety?? Getting back down to size. I've been pretty anxiety free since meeting and marrying my husband. Not that this recent resurgence has anything to do with him. It is a part of who I am. Just like the tough attitude that I sometimes project is a part of me as well. God forbid if I let someone see how scared I am on the inside. That was sarcasm by the way.

I get anxiety attacks when I choose to ignore whatever is bothering me. Forever the Scarlett O'Hara syndrome I guess. I will worry about it tomorrow is often my mantra, yet tomorrow never comes and then my body forces me to stop, slow down and evaluate.

I only have about ten more minutes before I have to leave for safety skills. I am grateful and thankful that I do not have to get up and be into work at 7 am tomorrow.

Will (maybe) blog again at 9ish tonight.

It is 11 o'clock

And that's a good thing because it means I have a few more hours left before heading out. A few more hours to heal. I took a nice bath and focused on the parts of me that aren't horrendous currently.

Cuddled with Bella for a bit. She's so yummy after her bath! And I'd go through a million times worse if it meant she'd never have an ounce of pain. I do need to find something to eat. It won't do any good to pass out. Hopefully I will sleep well tonight. I have to be in Jamestown by 9.

My anxiety is right at the edge. Little attack in the middle of the night but kept control. I have maybe had one or two mild attacks in the last ten years. Far cry from what they used to be like. I just don't like feeling like they're lurking there, waiting for the perfect moment to bring me crashing. All I kept saying over and over again last night was, worry about nothing, pray about everything. It helped. I definitely prayed for healing last night! My heart, my soul, my mind, and yes my face. Let's see what He does!

And not only did the praying help me last night, it was nice to roll over and hug my husband. Reminded me I'm not alone in any of this and that is definitely something to be thankful for and protective of.

12/01/10

I'm officially a wreck. Mentally AND physically.

I absolutely do not want to cover Renie's shift today. I absolutely do NOT want to go to safety skills tomorrow. Tomorrow night is the last night of Salve for about a month. So basically tomorrow I will be gone 9-9.

Next week will hopefully be better.

The lip pain is gone. They are tight feeling and dry in some places but most of the scabs are falling off. Really it looks like chicken pox all over my lips. A faster moving cycle of chicken pox.

The only good news from this is that it has killed my appetite.

In a couple of hours, I'm going to attempt to get ready for work.

I could just really use some good news right now.