Old Days vs New Days

A day in my life just a few months ago looked like this:

Work 8pm-8am for the overnight for job 1, work 8:15 at job 2 until 2pm. Work 2:15pm-6:15pm at job 1.  Watch Bella until her mother got home from work at 10pm. That would be a Sunday night thru Monday night. 

Yesterday was pretty restful because it was Mother's Day and quite frankly I just wanted a pajama day. I haven't had one since moving here. Today started early. It is 2 minutes shy of 10am and I've done 3 loads of laundry, washed, dried, folded, put away. Vacuumed upstairs and downstairs. Cleaned Bella's room. Put all her toys, books and clothes away. Loaded the dishwasher. Made our bed. Next up is washing the kitchen floor. I have blogged twice this morning and watered my plants. 

Honestly I just feel like I traded ridiculous amounts of busy for ridiculous amounts of busy. 

Tonight we're having low carb pizzas for dinner made with carb balance tortillas. I think my husband will be happy with that. 

Weekend Excitement

We rehomed this girl over the weekend. Ours will be the 4th (and hopefully last) home she's had in her short 2 1/2 years. She's the same age as Sierra was when I rescued her. Desmond has welcomed her in. We've named her Sadie. She's acclimating and they've both exceeded my expectations getting along. Bella is happy she has a more manageable sized dog to boss around! 

Yesterday's Outing

There really is nothing cuter than pictures of dogs and kids.  Not so cute when you're the one wrangling said dog and kid.  They're perfect one at a time. Together?  They feed off of each other and both get hot and tired at about the same time.  And both seem to stop listening at the same time too!  It's super fun when the 5- year old throws a stick to play fetch and you're tethered to the dog. 

Day 14! We Did it!

14!  FOURTEEN days of no sugar, no wheat, low carbs, no starches, no alcohol (except a much deserved Michelob Ultra light beer, at 95 calories, which I only got 1/2 of the bottle down and then suffered with heartburn for 3 days after), little caffeine because I don't enjoy coffee with Splenda.  I do NOT think my two teaspoons of sugar in my morning coffee is going to bring me down.  It's the cake, cupcakes, pie, ice cream, pasta, bagels, and chips.  Those items are going to remain out of my diet. Maybe a treat once in awhile but definitely not going to be waiting for me in my cupboards.  

So DAY 14!  How do I feel?  Rested!  I'm sleeping really well because I'm not waking up all night with digestive issues. I have not had one headache in 14 days!  A little breathless at times as my body adjusts to not running on sugar, which is completely normal and should pass.  I'm down 10 pounds, so there is that for positive reinforcement.  Moving forward, I think I'm going to hover around Induction for a bit longer, but definitely moving up to Phase 2 on workout days.  I do recognize my body's need for more of a variety of fruits and vegetables than just the leafy green stuff. Kale or spinach, and some berries, with some green tea, blended up in the Bullet to add some fiber and vitamins but low on the carb scale should do the trick.

I'm pretty sure I'm done with meat for awhile!  I'm going to stick with fish and eggs. Some chicken. Tofu.  My treat for myself tomorrow evening???  A shot of American Honey whiskey.  I found out last night there's only 2 carbs in it. That stuff is so good you can just drink it straight.  Or add it to green tea for a hot toddy, which is my preferred way to enjoy.  I had no cravings last night at bedtime!  That is huge for me because that is when I want to eat and eat and eat.  My mid-afternoon munchies were held off with two stalks of celery cut up and stuffed with sugar-free soy butter. Either item by itself is not that appetizing but together???  My brain thinks it celery and peanut butter and that's ok with me. 

I've also found in these two weeks that there is food I have seemed to lose a taste for. That's the keto diet for you.  It is very similar to when you're pregnant and get turned off to certain foods. I have a bunch of friends doing the whole 30. There's nothing inherently wrong with the diet, as it should be whole organic foods, but it allows for tons of fruit and other high GI foods.  High Glycemic Index foods (carrots for one) can ruin a person's weight-loss goals, especially if you're insulin-resistant. I know, it's a bit technical...my brother is diabetic and has been since he was a kid and I had borderline gestational diabetes with my first pregnancy, so I learned A LOT in order to avoid giving myself shots.  So even though carrots are low in calorie, they are one of the highest on the GI scale, which spikes your blood sugar. I save bananas and carrots for after a big workout.  Actually I always save carrots because I don't seem to like them unless their cooked up in a soup! 

Day 12!!!

Day 12 of induction isn't nearly as bad as say day 5. The cravings are minimal, still coming around 8 PM, when we're in bed watching tv. I'm guessing it's because of all the FOOD commercials that are on television. Nothing like a Dairy Queen Blizzard commercial to kill your willpower. The advertisers will NOT win. I'm not getting my skinnier butt up and out of bed to drive across town for a blizzard. If DQ delivered, they may be a problem. I'm down ten pounds, so that is good too! Yesterday wasn't a good water day, so today I'm going to focus on getting my required amount inside of me. We're going kayaking this afternoon when Mitch gets home from work. I've created a monster. He's the world's newest kayaking enthusiast. Maine is finally getting its much deserved Spring. Mid to high 70s all week. I'm going to work some more on prepping my garden bed. It was just shy of 80 when I went outside to work on it yesterday and I only lasted about an hour. The best part of spring is washing sheets and blankets and hanging them on the line to dry!

First Weekend in May

We did some hiking Saturday to scout out a possible area for our kayaks (yeah not happening as it is a pretty steep ascent for about a half hour) but the view was gorgeous, as was the weather. Not a person to be seen, so we spent the day and decided to hike down, get our camping gear and hike BACK up (quickly mind you, so we could set up camp before nightfall. Not our greatest idea but certainly a fun one. We both slept horribly because of our poor planning, my anxiety about bears, and it is apparently loon mating season and their calls were not the soothing ones I remember of my youth. They were these violent, crashing and thrashing strangled wails, along with a few of their warning wails, dispersed through the night. We did get a few peaceful tremolos at sunset and sunrise but by sunrise, the loons were dead to me. 

The Jungle Book

Last night we went to the opening night of The Jungle Book that our local community theater put on. It was Bella's first time going to a play and this was definitely a good choice. It only ran about an hour, which was also good for a five year old.  And the old man too, as Mitch started complaining about his butt and the hard seats...I never brought up the hours I've spent on metal bleachers, watching him coach URI soccer!  

Anyway, great show!  My friend Elaine was the Mama wolf and her son was a wolf pup and a monkey. Bella totally loved getting her picture taken with them after the show!  

Day 8

I dreamt that I died last night. I was there, knowing I was going to die, thinking this is going to suck and then nothing. There was no more to the dream. It stopped abruptly. I obviously woke up this morning and my first thought was that I'm alive. It reminds me of an Alfred Hitchcock episode when there is a row of people standing up, asleep, in some kind of lab and their life is the dream but one keeps short circuiting and wakes up in the lab then falls asleep and goes back to "real life" the wakes up in the lab...finally they just unplug her. To dream of one's death can mean anxiety around ending one chapter and starting another. I guess it could be my way of decompressing after the move, after leaving two anxiety filled jobs, after saying goodbye to so many friends and two intricate people in our immediate family, or it could just be this freaking Atkins diet!!! Last night was rough. So rough. Cravings through the roof. Pizza. And that frosting covered kettle corn. I got through it but like I said, it was a rough night. Today though, I cleaned, worked out, am already on my 3rd 12oz glass of water and am helping Bella pick up her room. This morning she came in and asked to watch her show in my room. Sometimes she can but this morning, her tv was already on, so I told her to watch it in her room. Bella informed me she no longer liked her room because all of her toys were out in a big mess. I agreed to help. Me: Trash, trash, toy box, trash, Shopkins pile, pony pile, trash... Bella: Um, excuse me Sir, that is not trash! Thank you! I'm not sure which part I find more funny...the fact that she called me sir or the fact that it was just like a typical day at work for me!

 

Cravings

So I've been keeping a list of all of the "I could kill for..." cravings and I've already discovered a few interesting things. The number one thing that is in your face obvious is that it is all food that my body does not require to operate. 

Here's a pic of my list...

What I Miss Most Since Moving...

And of course, these goofballs...

Day 7

Last evening around 6pm, things got pretty darn rough. The need for chocolate and wine and some kind of bread was the worst it has ever been. I persevered though. I put some unsweetened almond milk, cocoa powder and 2 Splenda packets, along with some ice cubes in my bullet and made an almost tasty milkshake. It took the edge off though, so that's what counts. The weekends are easier because I keep us pretty busy. If it were sunny, I'd be busy in my garden bed or reading in the sun. No such luck. It's been overcast for about a week. It has been nice going to sleep at night without an upset stomach, without heartburn, and not wake up a million times a night. My sinuses are clear now. No trace of my cough. Still headache free. It really is CRAZY how bad junk food is for your system. I'm definitely a believer now that it was the poor food I was putting into me that was causing all of those nasty side effects. In other news, we're kayak shopping. I'm excited that this will be a fun thing we can do together. I love exploring lakes and streams, not to mention I love all kinds of boating. I was an extremely lucky child to have access to all of it growing up. Rowing, sailing, motorboats, jet skis, pontoon boat, paddle boat, and even a hovercraft. Last weekend, we picked up our tent. Can't wait to spend more time outdoors! It's almost taking the edge off of not living in Narragansett anymore. Almost. I do okay until I look at pictures. Really missing my beaches. It's almost like the last 8 years were a dream.

Day 6 of Phase 1 Induction

Starting day 6 this morning...it is so much easier this time around then I remember 10 years ago...chocolate chip cookies and French fries are pretty much the only thing I'm missing. Not craving, just missing. Nobody ever died from giving up cookies and fried food. They may WANT to, but I'm sure every nutritionist ever has encouraged giving up those two food groups. I find at nighttime, when I'm watching tv in bed, I really really really want to munch, but I drink some water and it passes in a few minutes. I've given up ALL sweeteners for my morning coffee. I can tolerate my 12 oz. but I'm not enjoying it like I used to. My hope is, I can sort of reprogram my tastebuds so when I do start adding sweetener again, I won't need nearly as much. The weight is coming off...the first few days fluctuated quite a bit because of water weight but the scale is now steady and moving downward. Most food tastes funny and I'm not peeing every 20 minutes like I was in the beginning. Still peeing a healthy amount and it is clear, just not an annoying amount. I'm going to venture to say my body is in ketosis and its fat that's being used as fuel now. I'm not hungry at all which I find interesting. Two weeks ago, it seemed like I was starving all the time, so I would grab a handful of chips, or some crackers, a cookie here, banana there...none of it inherently unhealthy, but it was never enough. My energy levels are back up. I'm running up and down the stairs with ease again. The best news about giving up the unhealthy carbs and processed snacks??? No more mid-afternoon headaches. They were getting bad, to the point I was feeling nauseous and at the brink of tears. It was like this fog would just settle in...really weird and uncomfortable. I have not had a headache in SIX days. I've slept soundly. Puffiness is gone. Allergies seemed to have cleared up. Clean eating people. There seems to be some truth to giving up the additives that companies add to their products.

Monday Cleaning

I usually do three loads of laundry on Mondays but I did them Sunday evening instead because on Monday, I was going to have a full load of towels. I didn't want to spend Monday just on laundry and pretty much, four loads is a whole day.  I wish I could say I did something exciting after the towels were done. But NOPE!

I vacuumed, mopped the kitchen, washed down counters, CLEANED THE SHOWER (my least favorite of all chores), plus my usual make the bed, load/unload the dishwasher, put things in their place. Let's not forget having to workout and shower!  It's 12:30 and I'm exhausted! A day full of laundry sounds more relaxing. 

Sunday Adventure

Another Weekend of Hiking

Started our morning with a brisk 5 mile hike in Orono.  We then drove to MDI for a drive to the summit of Cadillac Mountain, where we hiked around some more. 

Can't wait to see where tomorrow brings us!

Day Two

So I'm well into day 2 of Phase 1 of Atkins...for the last 10 years or so, I've minded my carbs and have maintained a fairly healthy weight. Last year, I amped up my running regime and found that I really wasn't consuming enough calories, so I pretty much increased my carb intake, with fruit mostly. It worked fabulously. I was actually gaining weight in muscle, even though my clothes were getting bigger. The problem was that I got really really sick around November and this cough just did me in. I wasn't training and the holidays arrived...so begins the vicious cycle of carb addiction. My husband's sweet tooth certainly wasn't helping the situation...like I said, I'm on day 2 of induction. I'm feeling pretty good. A little out of breath but I've been that way since I got sick. I've noticed a HUGE difference already. My eyes aren't puffy. Im feeling rested. I'm not hungry. I am super thirsty though, but that is good because I struggle getting more than a few cups of water into me when I'm not dieting. My headaches have disappeared. I feel like I'm finally consuming the correct amount of water. Of all the phases, one is probably the most love/hate filled one. I love the dramatic changes but hate the lack of convenience. No grabbing a yogurt in phase one. No grabbing an apple off the counter. I actually have to cook my meals. I do love how good I feel with none of the food preservatives and other added crap. My moods and sleep cycles really get messed up on American processed snack foods. The induction phase is only 14 days. Not enough to do any damage. Phase 2 is when I can add yogurt (plain) and berries back into rotation, along with nuts. In fact, I stayed in phase 2 for most of the last ten years, going into phase three on date night or a holiday. I'm a pretty healthy eater except when it comes to junk food. Once I taste it, it slowly starts creeping back into my diet. Then I feel guilty and my digestive system takes a toll, followed by sleep disruption, which leads to exhaustion, no energy, no working out...a horrible cycle and one I'm hoping to break and get back on track!

Minnie Mouse Birthday Party

Happy 5th Birthday to Annabella!  I can't believe it's already been five years!

Sleeping Beauties

Saturday Road Trip

A trip to Kittery, ME to pick up new dining room chairs and a slow drive back up coastal Route One. Pics of Reid State Park, Georgetown, ME and Penobscot Bay in Belfast Harbor. 

Into the Wild

Yesterday I happened to catch some of a documentary on Chris McCandless and was reminded of Jon Krakauer's retelling of his story in the book Into the Wild, and of course, watching the subsequent movie. I'm a huge Krakauer fan, having loved Into Thin Air about his own Mount Everest climb and would consider myself a fan of Kerouac-esque books in general. I can quote Kerouac all day long. There was a deep desire inside of me to just leave it all behind and head myself into the wild, or even on the road. That desire was always my plan B, if and when I really and truly wanted this life behind me. Just me and my dog, Sierra, and an old truck hitting the dusty road. Enter reality. Sierra has since passed on. I'm married with dependents. The IRS needs me. I am such a different person than I was when I first read Into the Wild about eight years ago. Chris McCandless is no longer a person I admire, as much as I feel great sadness for him. Sadness because he was so ill-prepared. Maybe it is because my husband and I watch every reality show about surviving in Alaska but I couldn't help but watch the documentary yesterday and think about how incredibly naive he was. WHY would you not learn how to properly maintain your food supply. WHY would you not be aware of your caloric needs and how many more calories you will burn off just trying to stay warm, let alone all of the calories you are using, hunting and gathering. Maybe it's because I grew up in Maine, surrounded by family members who, when they were younger, hunted and grew large gardens and raised chickens, turkeys and livestock to support their large families and knew how hard living off the land really is and made sure to enlighten me as to how easy I had it. Maybe it's because my kids are going off into the world on their own now that I find what he did as so selfish, immature and the exact opposite of what he was trying to achieve. WHY would you do that to your parents? I've since discovered that my own desire to leave the world behind really isn't about leaving the world behind. It's about slowing down, about hearing a voice inside of me that I have successfully managed to drown out by the hustle and bustle of every day living, about facing my fears. The truth is, I have no desire to leave the world behind. I love technology. I LOVE the library. I love laying on the beach. I love swimming in a pool. I love ice cream. So yes, I feel great sadness for Chris McCandless now. I don't feel one can "figure it all out" by age 24. I don't think one ever figures it all out and because of some foolish errors on his part, he wasn't able to survive long enough to live long enough to reconcile all the parts of himself. "My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them." ~ Kerouac