What a weird day. I haven't started my day off talking to Brian in quite awhile, so I guess it is to be expected. His best friend passed away yesterday. I'm glad I was able to let him know that he was in my prayers, but I ended the call rather quickly after he started in with the "Why me? Why do I have to experience so much loss in my life? I've lost my spouse, my dog, my best friend, you. When am I going to start gaining things in my life, other than weight?" I remained silent for a moment and then said I had to get to work and told him I hoped he'd be okay. He was so incredibly sad and depressed.
I did email him later and this is what I sent him.
~~ I wouldn't be a friend, nor would I be Jennifer, if I didn't tell you exactly what I am thinking, and my thinking is that you need God now more than ever. I can say this on authority because of the glorious things that have happened and are continuously happening with me. All I can say is that something has changed in my heart and it has God's fingerprints all over it. My prayer is that you too, find some peace in your life, and it is my belief that that will only happen once you have a relationship with Him. God has really led Ken and his wife, Jeanette to reach out to me and help me in ways that 5 years of therapy could not. The invitation to Calvary Chapel always stands. Please take care of yourself. ~~
I got some advice from Tanya about it and I think it is good advice. I've known for awhile that there can be no future for Brian and I unless he makes some spiritual changes in his life. Therapy is not helping him. His depression and drinking are spinning out of control. I can't fix him. I can love him. I can be his friend, but I can't stand by and watch.
This is where the situation stands. I am moving forward with my life and am happy to accept whatever God has planned for me.
Current Mood: a little sad about Dickie...he was my friend too...but GREAT otherwise!
Current Music: Hungry..........Paul Clark
Friday, June 02, 2006
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Watch Primetime TONIGHT!
Please everyone, watch Primetime tonight, with Diane Sawyer. Besides being one of my most favorite people EVER (she is so beautiful, gracious and genuine) they are having a special about foster children. It will be a little glimpse into the lives of the children I get to work with every day. I work with kids who have been in and out of foster care, and some who are in desperate need of foster care. I guarantee they'll steal your heart and I hope you let them. I hope you consider the situations in your communites and take action. Not everyone is in a position to be a foster parent, but you are in a position to get political. You can volunteer at a Big Brother/Big Sister organization, you can find out about volunteer opportunites at your church, you can write to your congressman or woman. And if God really speaks to your heart, you can consider adoption. I don't want to discourage international adoptions, but please please if you are considering adoption, take a look at our kids right here at home! The ones that break my heart the most are the families with older kids. They aren't "cute" anymore and it is next to impossible to place entire families intact into adoptive homes, especially if one or more have any kind of disability.
All three of my kids know I want lots of grandkids and I have stressed on them the importance of adoption. It will be nice to have a couple of blood relations too, if only because I want to see my babies one more time. I want them each to have babies that look just like they did.
All three of my kids know I want lots of grandkids and I have stressed on them the importance of adoption. It will be nice to have a couple of blood relations too, if only because I want to see my babies one more time. I want them each to have babies that look just like they did.
June 1, 2006
I can't believe it is June already! Time has flown right by! Before you know it, it will be February and the kids and I will be enjoying a vacation on the West Coast! We've decided to go to Disneyland instead of Disney World. I really want to visit with my aunt in San Diego and then head up the coast and spend a few days in San Francisco and THEN head up to Oregon to visit with Tanya!
The staff meeting was long. I was glad when it was over. It was fun, but long. Carl has a new nickname! :)
The National Spelling Bee is tonight. The kids want to watch it.
We supposed to have showers the next 5 days or so. I'm glad we enjoyed the sun when we had the chance. The kids' last day of school is next Thursday. They get a week off and then the girls start babysitting everyday and I'll be at the learning center during the days. Zachie will be gone for 10 weeks.
I have to get my coffee, go tanning and run my errands. I also HAVE to get laundry done. I am a couple of loads behind schedule.
I am glad tomorrow is Friday.
The staff meeting was long. I was glad when it was over. It was fun, but long. Carl has a new nickname! :)
The National Spelling Bee is tonight. The kids want to watch it.
We supposed to have showers the next 5 days or so. I'm glad we enjoyed the sun when we had the chance. The kids' last day of school is next Thursday. They get a week off and then the girls start babysitting everyday and I'll be at the learning center during the days. Zachie will be gone for 10 weeks.
I have to get my coffee, go tanning and run my errands. I also HAVE to get laundry done. I am a couple of loads behind schedule.
I am glad tomorrow is Friday.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
May 30, 2006
It was such a great night at work tonight. The kids were so great. They were so excited to be there, which is nice. Marcus, Skyler, Alexander and Haleigh are finally back from their grandma's, so it was nice having them at the center again!
My girls both got babysitting jobs for the summer. They are making $200 a week! I didn't make that kind of money when I was 15 and 16. Then again, minimum wage back then was like $3.65 or something crazy like that. Kayla is happy because it was this or working at Dunkin Donuts all summer.
We have staff day tomorrow at work. I like staff day. It is kind of like teacher in-service days. In fact, it is JUST like teacher in-service days. Iona won't be there. Her mother-in-law's sister passed aways suddenly. She was 93 (I think). So she'll be in Portland for the funeral. Carl may or may not be there for staff day. He's taken some sick leave and I hope things are going okay! Staff day looks to be boring without the two of them!
Tanya and her husband are having some trouble finding a house in their price range. I really hope things work out for them!
Okay, I have to get to bed. I have some reading and movie watching to get to. I don't have to be at the ranch until 8:30 AM. Church tomorrow night.
I'll catch y'all later!
My girls both got babysitting jobs for the summer. They are making $200 a week! I didn't make that kind of money when I was 15 and 16. Then again, minimum wage back then was like $3.65 or something crazy like that. Kayla is happy because it was this or working at Dunkin Donuts all summer.
We have staff day tomorrow at work. I like staff day. It is kind of like teacher in-service days. In fact, it is JUST like teacher in-service days. Iona won't be there. Her mother-in-law's sister passed aways suddenly. She was 93 (I think). So she'll be in Portland for the funeral. Carl may or may not be there for staff day. He's taken some sick leave and I hope things are going okay! Staff day looks to be boring without the two of them!
Tanya and her husband are having some trouble finding a house in their price range. I really hope things work out for them!
Okay, I have to get to bed. I have some reading and movie watching to get to. I don't have to be at the ranch until 8:30 AM. Church tomorrow night.
I'll catch y'all later!
Tuesday
I can't believe it is Tuesday. It feels like Monday. Another beautiful day. What a great weekend weather-wise. Restful and entertainment-wise, too! :) Today is definitely a beach day and someday, when I am teaching English is a high school somewhere, I will have summers off again. Summers off to travel, lay in the sun and play with my kids, although the kids in this dream will probably be my grandkids by that time! :) Maybe not. Maybe I'll have another one or at least adopt.
The girls and I are figuring out what we want to do with our "free time" when Zach is gone this summer. We want to sign up for some kind of karate class. We are also going to go go-karting every Friday night. (I'm only writing the go-karting part because Zach is reading this over my shoulder.) The look on his face was priceless when he read it, too!
Current Mood: great
Current Music: Nothing Compares.......Third Day
The girls and I are figuring out what we want to do with our "free time" when Zach is gone this summer. We want to sign up for some kind of karate class. We are also going to go go-karting every Friday night. (I'm only writing the go-karting part because Zach is reading this over my shoulder.) The look on his face was priceless when he read it, too!
Current Mood: great
Current Music: Nothing Compares.......Third Day
Monday, May 29, 2006
Weekend Wrap-up
A great weekend. My only regret being unable to get to Massachusetts to visit my grandfather's grave. He was a WWII veteren of the Air Force. I miss him so much. I cried at least once every day for the first year after his death. After two years, I was okay unless I talked about him. Now, after 8 years, I can talk and laugh about him without crying. I can't believe it has been 8 years. 8 years since I've heard the "you were the most beautiful baby" story. I heard this story almost everyday of my young life because I saw him almost everyday of my young life. The last time I saw him at the hospital, he told me the story about the first time he saw me. I was one of those lucky little girls who had two wonderful grandfathers, one who is still alive. But this grandfather in particular, Grandpop, picked me as his favorite grandchild. It is wonderful being someone's favorite.
We're having taco salad for supper tonight. We not terribly hungry. We ate a lot at Desaraye's party. After, we spent the afternoon and early evening in the pool. I missed Tanya's call! We were in the pool and I didn't have the phone outside. I called her back, though, so I hope she got my message!
Tomorrow is supposed to be gorgeous again, too, so I will get a little more sun before working tomorrow night. Wednesday, we have a staff day. That will be fun. I like staff days.
Zach wanted to play with his 4-year old cousin Tajin today at the house and in the pool, so I said, "Okay, but you're watching him." They played all afternoon and then Zach came down to ask when he could take him home. I told him that whenever he was ready to bring him home, to do so. He comes downstairs a few minutes later. "Oh great," says Zach (in the way only Zach can say it), "he says he never wants to go home!" "Well," I say, "say hi to your new brother!" Zach finally talked him into taking a walk and he walked him home.
We're having taco salad for supper tonight. We not terribly hungry. We ate a lot at Desaraye's party. After, we spent the afternoon and early evening in the pool. I missed Tanya's call! We were in the pool and I didn't have the phone outside. I called her back, though, so I hope she got my message!
Tomorrow is supposed to be gorgeous again, too, so I will get a little more sun before working tomorrow night. Wednesday, we have a staff day. That will be fun. I like staff days.
Zach wanted to play with his 4-year old cousin Tajin today at the house and in the pool, so I said, "Okay, but you're watching him." They played all afternoon and then Zach came down to ask when he could take him home. I told him that whenever he was ready to bring him home, to do so. He comes downstairs a few minutes later. "Oh great," says Zach (in the way only Zach can say it), "he says he never wants to go home!" "Well," I say, "say hi to your new brother!" Zach finally talked him into taking a walk and he walked him home.
Memorial Day 2006
I am so glad I have another day off. Kayla and I got way too much sun yesterday. We spent the day in the pool. Zach was at Dakota's for a bit and then he came home to go swimming, too. It has been a nice busy weekend, but not straight out busy. We had time to relax, too. I am going to a party at Desaraye's at noon today.
Bruce Willis is on The View today. He is a cutie. He's on a lifetime speedo ban! :) One of my absolute favorite movies is "The Story of Us" with him and Michelle Pfiefer.
After the party, I am going to finish straightening up and light some candles and read, read, read! I bought a bunch of new books to add to the list of many that I have yet to read.
Current Mood: Happy
Current Music: Renegade..........Styx
Bruce Willis is on The View today. He is a cutie. He's on a lifetime speedo ban! :) One of my absolute favorite movies is "The Story of Us" with him and Michelle Pfiefer.
After the party, I am going to finish straightening up and light some candles and read, read, read! I bought a bunch of new books to add to the list of many that I have yet to read.
Current Mood: Happy
Current Music: Renegade..........Styx
Sunday, May 28, 2006
For Eric
No need to apologize, Eric. Your battle with God is just that, YOURS. I just know you. I hold highly intelligent people in great esteem, as I considered myself one of them, and I pride myself on having very smart friends. It is probably most hard for science-minded people to just believe. But I also know and believe your stories about your life after death experiences you've had with your grandmother. Why did she have to die? Why did your bird have to die? Why is your grandfather dying? Well, everyone dies. That is a given. But your soul doesn't have to. I also knew Jane and is tragic for her child to have lost its mother, but I also know a mother's daily prayer is "Please God, do not let me outlive my children." I know a young couple at church, who 2 weeks ago, put their two-month old daughter down to sleep and she never woke up. You just never know. Not in any bible of any religion will you find a phrase close to "Life is easy." People are going to go through hard times regardless if God is in their life or not. So the choice is to go through the pain and hard times alone or go through them with Someone who does love you above anyone else.
I fought with Jim and fought with Jim on buying into this stuff. He loved me enough to put his pride aside and risk me making fun of him, like I did, to try and save me. I know these beliefs are not popular and I know your thoughts on the subject, but I love you enough to try. You battle with anxiety, with your manic episodes, with your other fears...why do you think that is?
And there are bad people who do indeed hide behind Christianity, but why blame the whole for just a few? I follow one person and one person only. Jesus was the most poor man that ever walked this earth. Our entire calendar is based on his very existence. Not one man has been more talked about since his birth 2000 years ago. None of that was good enough for me to believe. I needed proof that he was the son of God. I needed proof that there even is a God. My proof is me. I knew it would take a god to change me. It took an act of God to turn my life around. It took an act of God to even get me to blog about Him.
When I was first entertaining the thought of getting saved, I remember I asked Jim about what people would think. He said something that still strikes a chord with me when I think about it. He said, "I thought you were one of those few people that didn't care what people think. I guess I was wrong."
Anyway, as always, I enjoy our philosophical talks. Heaven is the ulitmate bomb shelter and I want you there.
I fought with Jim and fought with Jim on buying into this stuff. He loved me enough to put his pride aside and risk me making fun of him, like I did, to try and save me. I know these beliefs are not popular and I know your thoughts on the subject, but I love you enough to try. You battle with anxiety, with your manic episodes, with your other fears...why do you think that is?
And there are bad people who do indeed hide behind Christianity, but why blame the whole for just a few? I follow one person and one person only. Jesus was the most poor man that ever walked this earth. Our entire calendar is based on his very existence. Not one man has been more talked about since his birth 2000 years ago. None of that was good enough for me to believe. I needed proof that he was the son of God. I needed proof that there even is a God. My proof is me. I knew it would take a god to change me. It took an act of God to turn my life around. It took an act of God to even get me to blog about Him.
When I was first entertaining the thought of getting saved, I remember I asked Jim about what people would think. He said something that still strikes a chord with me when I think about it. He said, "I thought you were one of those few people that didn't care what people think. I guess I was wrong."
Anyway, as always, I enjoy our philosophical talks. Heaven is the ulitmate bomb shelter and I want you there.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Concert Update
The concert was fantastic, although much too short.
I couldn't get any pictures of my cute guy. WHY??? Because he decided to sit directly in back of me again. I couldn't turn around and take his picture without being rather obvious what I was doing. When he walked into the church, I could feel a hush go over the crowd and all the girls were sitting in anticipation over who he would decide to sit near...I looked up and there he was in front of me, then going around me to sit behind us. Ken looked at him and looked at me and then I looked at Jim and it was a very weird moment.
I can't believe I am too chicken to talk to him! I even talked to everyone tonight and I couldn't talk to him. I don't want him to think I don't like him. Hopefully God will fix this situation at church tomorrow.
The kids and I had supper at the Texas Roadhouse after the show and then we bought $20 worth of books at Goodwill.
Now, I am going to watch the rest of my movies and read before bed.
Current Mood: happy
Current music: Wish You Were Here........Paul Clark
I couldn't get any pictures of my cute guy. WHY??? Because he decided to sit directly in back of me again. I couldn't turn around and take his picture without being rather obvious what I was doing. When he walked into the church, I could feel a hush go over the crowd and all the girls were sitting in anticipation over who he would decide to sit near...I looked up and there he was in front of me, then going around me to sit behind us. Ken looked at him and looked at me and then I looked at Jim and it was a very weird moment.
I can't believe I am too chicken to talk to him! I even talked to everyone tonight and I couldn't talk to him. I don't want him to think I don't like him. Hopefully God will fix this situation at church tomorrow.
The kids and I had supper at the Texas Roadhouse after the show and then we bought $20 worth of books at Goodwill.
Now, I am going to watch the rest of my movies and read before bed.
Current Mood: happy
Current music: Wish You Were Here........Paul Clark
Texas Roadhouse
After the concert. Supper at Texas Roadhouse. Kayla and Zach love this restaurant. I look stoned!
GodSword Band
This is our church. The guy in the green shirt and khakis is Ken...the lead singer of GodSword and our senior pastor.
May 27, 2006
My house smells like fresh cut lilacs! The kids cut a whole bunch down and put some in vases all over the house. They smell so good. Lilacs on one of my most favorite flowers. Sweet Peas are good, peonies and daisys. Gardenias and orchids are pretty, too.
Concert day has arrived! I am so excited. I have my camera ready.
Talk about sleeping in! The kids and I did not wake up until 10 AM!! I can't remember the last time I slept in like that. I was asleep by 10 PM last night, but I guess I needed it. My morning routine has been a bit rushed, but that is okay.
It is 80 degrees already. HUMID! I am not complaining. You will never hear me complain about things being too hot, but I have to say, I don't like that feeling when you are out of the shower and you still feel damp. The good thing about the heavy air is that the smell of the flowers hangs around longer.
I rented some movies last night. Southern Belles. That was a cute movie. The Perfect Man...another cute one. Dick...because it is one of my favorites and I don't own it and Kayla's never seen it.....and Surrender Dorothy. I plan on watching that one tonight. It was a chick flick night and Kayla and I had fun watching movies that Zach would not be interested in!
A very cute guy moved in next door! He looks like an Americanized middle Easterner. Long camo skateboard shorts, flip flops, longish curly hair...great tan, fantastic smile. He was on his cell phone in our driveway this morning when I got up to go get my latte. He smiled and waved. I'll find out all about him when I go over to pay my rent.
Okay, I have to go tanning. I'll blog with concert pics later! :)
Current Mood: fantastic
Current Music: Everything.......Lifehouse
Concert day has arrived! I am so excited. I have my camera ready.
Talk about sleeping in! The kids and I did not wake up until 10 AM!! I can't remember the last time I slept in like that. I was asleep by 10 PM last night, but I guess I needed it. My morning routine has been a bit rushed, but that is okay.
It is 80 degrees already. HUMID! I am not complaining. You will never hear me complain about things being too hot, but I have to say, I don't like that feeling when you are out of the shower and you still feel damp. The good thing about the heavy air is that the smell of the flowers hangs around longer.
I rented some movies last night. Southern Belles. That was a cute movie. The Perfect Man...another cute one. Dick...because it is one of my favorites and I don't own it and Kayla's never seen it.....and Surrender Dorothy. I plan on watching that one tonight. It was a chick flick night and Kayla and I had fun watching movies that Zach would not be interested in!
A very cute guy moved in next door! He looks like an Americanized middle Easterner. Long camo skateboard shorts, flip flops, longish curly hair...great tan, fantastic smile. He was on his cell phone in our driveway this morning when I got up to go get my latte. He smiled and waved. I'll find out all about him when I go over to pay my rent.
Okay, I have to go tanning. I'll blog with concert pics later! :)
Current Mood: fantastic
Current Music: Everything.......Lifehouse
Friday, May 26, 2006
Friday!
A beautiful day! It is clouding over now. Looks like we'll have a thunder shower. I'm babysitting Lexi and Cody tonight. Not exactly what I had planned on doing, but Hayley volunteered. Actually she is the one babysitting, just in my house. Zach is go-carting with his friend Dakota.
Tanya is going to call this weekend! That is cool.
The concert is tomorrow afternoon. Sunday is supposed to be gorgeous! I can't wait.
Okay, I have to go tanning, go to Movie Gallery and rent some movies, pick up some groceries and call it a night. I am exhausted.
Current Mood: Excellent
Current Music: I'm watching Friends.
Tanya is going to call this weekend! That is cool.
The concert is tomorrow afternoon. Sunday is supposed to be gorgeous! I can't wait.
Okay, I have to go tanning, go to Movie Gallery and rent some movies, pick up some groceries and call it a night. I am exhausted.
Current Mood: Excellent
Current Music: I'm watching Friends.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Happy Thursday
Another beautiful day. Sunday is supposed to be gorgeous. Another week almost over. Tomorrow is Friday. I am so ready for the weekend! The kids and I are going shopping tomorrow. We're going to Border's and probably the mall. Just hanging out together. We only have 3 weeks left with Zach, so we're going to make the most of it. He leaves 3 weeks from tomorrow.
It will be so good to sleep in on Saturday. I desperately need an extra hour or two. Maybe even just a few minutes of being able to just lay there, without having to get up and rush the kids around getting ready.
The Godsword concert is on Saturday. I can hardly contain myself! I am so excited! I'll try to sneak some pictures of the two guys at church that I think are cute just for you Tanya! :) I got quite a few women laughing at the retreat. Obviously, our church does not promote premarital sex and this is one of many areas I struggle with, although, after Brian, I really am not interested in sleeping with anyone now, ever again, but I digress. Anyway, I was like, "I get this, but there are some things I need to know BEFORE I sign my name...like I am opposed to back hair and tight white underwear...it is kind of difficult to find those things out without sleeping with them." The ladies decided that I will bring a questionaire along with me on dates! Like, "#1. Body-waxing...Friend or Foe? #2. Boxers or Briefs...if Boxers are checked, move on to next question. If briefs are checked, this is the end of the test, unless, briefs are checked because your large parts need the extra support, then immediately sign your name at the bottom, with most recent pay stub and a copy of your tax return!" The funny thing is, Brian was incredibly hairy. And wore tight white underwear.
I am pretty sure the kids have a four-day weekend. I don't know if the City is giving us Monday AND Tuesday or just Monday off.
Current Mood: great
Current Music: So Far So Good.......Bryan Adams
It will be so good to sleep in on Saturday. I desperately need an extra hour or two. Maybe even just a few minutes of being able to just lay there, without having to get up and rush the kids around getting ready.
The Godsword concert is on Saturday. I can hardly contain myself! I am so excited! I'll try to sneak some pictures of the two guys at church that I think are cute just for you Tanya! :) I got quite a few women laughing at the retreat. Obviously, our church does not promote premarital sex and this is one of many areas I struggle with, although, after Brian, I really am not interested in sleeping with anyone now, ever again, but I digress. Anyway, I was like, "I get this, but there are some things I need to know BEFORE I sign my name...like I am opposed to back hair and tight white underwear...it is kind of difficult to find those things out without sleeping with them." The ladies decided that I will bring a questionaire along with me on dates! Like, "#1. Body-waxing...Friend or Foe? #2. Boxers or Briefs...if Boxers are checked, move on to next question. If briefs are checked, this is the end of the test, unless, briefs are checked because your large parts need the extra support, then immediately sign your name at the bottom, with most recent pay stub and a copy of your tax return!" The funny thing is, Brian was incredibly hairy. And wore tight white underwear.
I am pretty sure the kids have a four-day weekend. I don't know if the City is giving us Monday AND Tuesday or just Monday off.
Current Mood: great
Current Music: So Far So Good.......Bryan Adams
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Ficus Potty
I'm not sure what kind of Christians the hotel was expecting at this women's retreat, but I know I personally don't like peeing on a ficus. Now, a Nerium Oleander, maybe!
View From Our Balcony
The very beautiful Bar Harbor, Maine. In the distance is the road to the ferry. This was last Saturday.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The Reason I May Never Date Again
Or how to NOT score with me....a recent chatting session with an ex-boyfriend......he is presently stationed in Afghanistan.
armyman2013: hey sexy
jennluvsgable: hey
armyman2013: how was your weekend at the retreat?
jennluvsgable: great
armyman2013: been thinkin about you
jennluvsgable: really
armyman2013: yes
jennluvsgable: about what?
armyman2013: wanting to be with you
armyman2013: how sexy i think you are
armyman2013: your eyes .... how good you look
jennluvsgable: thanks
armyman2013: hoping to see some pic soon
jennluvsgable: i'll try
armyman2013: that would be great
armyman2013: cant believe i am here for a year
jennluvsgable: it is a long time
armyman2013: yes
armyman2013: and no sex
armyman2013: this sucks
jennluvsgable: i guess
armyman2013: very lonely
jennluvsgable: sex seems to have a funny way of making you feel lonlier
armyman2013: yea
jennluvsgable: do you ever get the feeling like you might be doing thngs wrong?
armyman2013: in what way....
jennluvsgable: just relationships in general
armyman2013: yes
jennluvsgable: i've been thinking alot about it lately
armyman2013: really
jennluvsgable: yeah
jennluvsgable: it is almost like the same thing just repeats itself
armyman2013: yup
jennluvsgable: same story, just different players
armyman2013: sorry
jennluvsgable: about?
armyman2013: you have had problems
armyman2013: with relationships
jennluvsgable: no, that is just it...i don't stay long enough usually to have problems. you lasted what, 2 months?
jennluvsgable: i stay with it as long as it is fun
jennluvsgable: i never get too close
armyman2013: o
armyman2013: passion but not close
jennluvsgable: and i hate being alone
jennluvsgable: so i never am
armyman2013: yes
jennluvsgable: not lately...i'm talking about my life before
armyman2013: yes
jennluvsgable: like when brian and i broke up the first time and then i started seeing you
jennluvsgable: that was way too fast to start seeing anyone
jennluvsgable: i was pissed off at him and wanted to get over him as quick as possible
armyman2013: yes
jennluvsgable: brian and i have been on and off for the last 3 years, but i certainly don't wait around for him when we're "off"
armyman2013: yes
jennluvsgable: you sound like my therapist
armyman2013: dont want to do that
jennluvsgable: no, you don't
jennluvsgable: you and i barely even knew each other
armyman2013: i know..... but physically you totally turn me on
armyman2013: did right from the start
There has got to be more to my relationships than this. It has occured to me that I've never stopped dating the retarded football player that has taken too many hits to the head! Except Brian. He was the one who loved my bitchy, opinionated mouthiness above all else. I will never forget the look on his face the night I met him, after he guessed that my career was that of hairdresser. I was like, "I don't think so. I am a teacher. Nice try." Then he wanted the other girls to guess what he drove for a vehicle. They didn't guess it and in his Tim the Tool Man voice, he said, "I drive a GMC 2500 4 wheel drive club cab"...my response? "Of course, you do. You did say you were from Presque Isle. Isn't that what all the county boys drive?" I was soooo unimpressed. I miss plowing in the truck and I miss arguing politics with him. I miss his abrasive, completely faulty uber-Republican view that druggie Rush Limbaugh is king of kings. I just miss him.
armyman2013: hey sexy
jennluvsgable: hey
armyman2013: how was your weekend at the retreat?
jennluvsgable: great
armyman2013: been thinkin about you
jennluvsgable: really
armyman2013: yes
jennluvsgable: about what?
armyman2013: wanting to be with you
armyman2013: how sexy i think you are
armyman2013: your eyes .... how good you look
jennluvsgable: thanks
armyman2013: hoping to see some pic soon
jennluvsgable: i'll try
armyman2013: that would be great
armyman2013: cant believe i am here for a year
jennluvsgable: it is a long time
armyman2013: yes
armyman2013: and no sex
armyman2013: this sucks
jennluvsgable: i guess
armyman2013: very lonely
jennluvsgable: sex seems to have a funny way of making you feel lonlier
armyman2013: yea
jennluvsgable: do you ever get the feeling like you might be doing thngs wrong?
armyman2013: in what way....
jennluvsgable: just relationships in general
armyman2013: yes
jennluvsgable: i've been thinking alot about it lately
armyman2013: really
jennluvsgable: yeah
jennluvsgable: it is almost like the same thing just repeats itself
armyman2013: yup
jennluvsgable: same story, just different players
armyman2013: sorry
jennluvsgable: about?
armyman2013: you have had problems
armyman2013: with relationships
jennluvsgable: no, that is just it...i don't stay long enough usually to have problems. you lasted what, 2 months?
jennluvsgable: i stay with it as long as it is fun
jennluvsgable: i never get too close
armyman2013: o
armyman2013: passion but not close
jennluvsgable: and i hate being alone
jennluvsgable: so i never am
armyman2013: yes
jennluvsgable: not lately...i'm talking about my life before
armyman2013: yes
jennluvsgable: like when brian and i broke up the first time and then i started seeing you
jennluvsgable: that was way too fast to start seeing anyone
jennluvsgable: i was pissed off at him and wanted to get over him as quick as possible
armyman2013: yes
jennluvsgable: brian and i have been on and off for the last 3 years, but i certainly don't wait around for him when we're "off"
armyman2013: yes
jennluvsgable: you sound like my therapist
armyman2013: dont want to do that
jennluvsgable: no, you don't
jennluvsgable: you and i barely even knew each other
armyman2013: i know..... but physically you totally turn me on
armyman2013: did right from the start
There has got to be more to my relationships than this. It has occured to me that I've never stopped dating the retarded football player that has taken too many hits to the head! Except Brian. He was the one who loved my bitchy, opinionated mouthiness above all else. I will never forget the look on his face the night I met him, after he guessed that my career was that of hairdresser. I was like, "I don't think so. I am a teacher. Nice try." Then he wanted the other girls to guess what he drove for a vehicle. They didn't guess it and in his Tim the Tool Man voice, he said, "I drive a GMC 2500 4 wheel drive club cab"...my response? "Of course, you do. You did say you were from Presque Isle. Isn't that what all the county boys drive?" I was soooo unimpressed. I miss plowing in the truck and I miss arguing politics with him. I miss his abrasive, completely faulty uber-Republican view that druggie Rush Limbaugh is king of kings. I just miss him.
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