It was so great being back to work after 3 days off. I missed the kids so much. I only worked 3 hours today, but after last night, that was really all I could handle. Seeing their smiling faces was definitely the best medicine. I'm feeling much better than yesterday, but certainly not myself yet.
I have an official phone conference tomorrow with my potential new employer. I have a list of questions for Sarah, as I am sure she'll have quite a few for me! I am very excited but I sort of feel like I am signing my life away. I have a great job at the preschool and lots of autonomy. This new job requires a HUGE time commitment and I will be part of a 40 person team that is split up around the state. We'll share common goals, plus have individual goals for each program we work in. I will be the coordinator of my project. The job itself sits in the community's homeless/battered women's housing community. I will be working closely with the youth (the same kids I worked with when LVA was there) and with the community. They pay for my training, which will cover topics such as grant writing, career advancement, crisis intervention, etc. It is basically the same job as before, with a different non-profit organization funding the project.
I met with my foreign student last night. She is a lady from Korea. Very cute and pleasant and FUNNY. I wasn't expecting such a sense of humor. We both made an instant connection and I think we're going to have a lot of fun. I also met her husband. He is a very nice man, too. She asked where I was going on my vacation and I told her about bike week and then mentioned that Brian said we could take the bike up to the top of Mt. Washington. She has been in this country for 7 years and has already been up the mountain. She said it is very scary and would not do it again. She also said it was beatiful up top and cold. I told her I'll be on the bike and she just laughed and shook her head, as if to say, "Crazy American woman!" She mentioned to me that when she runs into acquaintences at the grocery store for instance, she'll hide because all she feels comfortable saying is " Hi. How are you?" She wants to improve her conversation skills and learn about American culture and about to improve her writing skills. I thought she was a wonderful conversationalist and told her that she was doing a fine job with me. I assured her that I think anyone who was friendly with her would take the time to let her complete her thoughts and wouldn't mind taking a longer moment to converse with her. I can't imagine moving to a different country, not knowing the language and making a complete new life there. She has her college degree in her country. I asked if she would like to work on her reading/writing/grammar skills so she could maybe go back to school or something. She sounds so lonely. Her child starts high school next year and her husband works. She was an assisant professor in her country and stopped working after she got married. So I thought, with her child getting older, maybe in a year or two, she might like to go back to school. At first she looked at me like the thought had never occurred to her before, then a glimmer, a little gleam of a hint of something, crossed her face. She smiled and said, "Yes, I would like to go back to school and get a degree in TESL (Teaching English as a Second Language). She was also concerned with the papers her son brings home from school. She often does not know what she needs to do with them, or what they all mean, what she is signing, etc. I told her that anytime that happens, for her to bring it to her next lesson and we'll go over it together. I also told her to keep a notebook and write new words or phrases that she might need to be further explained and we'll talk about it. She was just so happy. She looked at me and said, "You would do that for me?" Well, yeah. Anyway, it was a wonderful first visit. I look forward to having many more lessons with her.
So that was my day and yesterday (before the ER), in a nutshell. I need to take some more medicine and get some rest.
Current Mood: Peaceful and enjoying the quiet of my cough
Current Music: Bryan Adams
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Apologies, Asthma, and Emergency Rooms
My apologies to anyone who tried to get a hold of me yesterday (Erin especially). I was with Brian until about noon, then I had to pick up my kids in Brewer, do some shopping, etc., had to meet with my student at Border's and that took about 2 hours, all the while my breathing was getting increasingly worse. Upon getting at home, I had a full blown asthma attack and spent some time in the emergency room being treated. I was given more medications than usual, as they seemed more concerned than usual. They x-rayed my chest to make sure I didn't have any pneumonia to go with the attack and after feeling secure that the medicine was taking and I was out of the woods, I was told I could be released BUT that I could NOT drive myself home. So I had to wait for someone to wake up or answer the phone to come and get me. The ordeal is finally over.
Memorial Day evening seems to be a busy time in the emergency room. Usually asthmatics don't have to wait very long; neither do high temps have to wait. I didn't have a temp but I was clearly in breathing distress. I still had to wait about 40 minutes in triage, and then another 40 in the room. Once the nurse came in and checked me, things started moving along. I had to wait about 20 minutes between nurse and doctor visit, then another 20 for nurse to come back and give me various medinces (steroids, albuterol, a narcotic) and then I had to wait for the X-Ray technician...had the X-Rays done, and then back to the room to wait for final doctor visit. Then had to wait another 20 minutes for final nurse visit. Oops, Doctor came back with discharge papers and orders. Then had to wait for my ride. Then home to bed, called Brian, who was worried at this point, because I was still in hospital. Assured him that I am home and feeling quite "high" from all the medication.
I feel GREAT this morning. Those medicines helped me get a good night's sleep, albeit short night's sleep, but I think it was a very deep, restful kind of sleep, which I think I desperately needed. My new inhaler is definitely taking the edge off of my cough, as is the prednisone. The narcotic I am taking is certainly making me loopy, and I am due for another dose at 11 AM...I can't drive while I am on it, so Barbara is dropping me off and picking me up from work. I only have to work 3 hours and if I didn't need the hours this week, I'd take it off, but like I said, it is only 3 hours today, 3 hours tomorrow and then I have Thursday off. A full day Friday, but I think I should be well on my way to recovery by then if today's any indication of where things are headed. I have barely coughed all morning.
So again, my apologies. I will make sure you get a photocopied list of all the girls' numbers at work, Erin, and I'll put it in your mailbox there.
Memorial Day evening seems to be a busy time in the emergency room. Usually asthmatics don't have to wait very long; neither do high temps have to wait. I didn't have a temp but I was clearly in breathing distress. I still had to wait about 40 minutes in triage, and then another 40 in the room. Once the nurse came in and checked me, things started moving along. I had to wait about 20 minutes between nurse and doctor visit, then another 20 for nurse to come back and give me various medinces (steroids, albuterol, a narcotic) and then I had to wait for the X-Ray technician...had the X-Rays done, and then back to the room to wait for final doctor visit. Then had to wait another 20 minutes for final nurse visit. Oops, Doctor came back with discharge papers and orders. Then had to wait for my ride. Then home to bed, called Brian, who was worried at this point, because I was still in hospital. Assured him that I am home and feeling quite "high" from all the medication.
I feel GREAT this morning. Those medicines helped me get a good night's sleep, albeit short night's sleep, but I think it was a very deep, restful kind of sleep, which I think I desperately needed. My new inhaler is definitely taking the edge off of my cough, as is the prednisone. The narcotic I am taking is certainly making me loopy, and I am due for another dose at 11 AM...I can't drive while I am on it, so Barbara is dropping me off and picking me up from work. I only have to work 3 hours and if I didn't need the hours this week, I'd take it off, but like I said, it is only 3 hours today, 3 hours tomorrow and then I have Thursday off. A full day Friday, but I think I should be well on my way to recovery by then if today's any indication of where things are headed. I have barely coughed all morning.
So again, my apologies. I will make sure you get a photocopied list of all the girls' numbers at work, Erin, and I'll put it in your mailbox there.
Monday, May 30, 2005
Memorial Day
Cassie has called a few times. She should be in North Carolina later today. Brian is taking this very hard, so we spent a rather miserable evening/day together. But he DID warn me that he was in a very bad mood when he called from the road. Hopefully, he cheers up this week and come this weekend we get some good weather. The weekend after next is the weekend we are heading to Laconia. I just feel helpless when he is depressed or physically not feeling well. I wanted to do something or say something to help but it was one of those times when he just needed my presence, no talking, nothing sexual...just some downtime, watching tv, uploading mp3's on his mp3 player, cuddling, etc. He tossed and turned the entire night. I wasn't feeling very well myself and made him turn the air conditioner on. It got mighty cold in the room about 5 AM. We had a few bright spots this weekend, but I felt like he was only making the effort for my benefit.
Anyway, I am willing to accept him, bad moods, physical ailments and all. I just have to remind myself that relationships aren't always about the good stuff and at least he trusts me enough to share his bad mood with me. It is just hard sometimes because we don't have a lot of QUANTITY when it comes to time together, and because that makes the quality of our time most important, I'd like to not waste that time on doom and gloom. Oh well, I still love him and we'll have lots of fun together in Laconia and at Julie's wedding/reception. He and I love to dance. I did mention my "dream" of owning a preschool in the Portland area. A separate building, not attached to my home, where I could go to work and leave work there to come home. He actually thought that it was a good idea and said he saw me owning a preschool and supported the entire venture. This makes me happy. I have been wondering how I was going to broach this subject with him because he has wanted me to get a "real" teaching job and use my degree, which I plan on doing, but I can teach school and own a preschool. He would be a big help to me, as he has lots of experience on licensing procedures because he sits on the zoning board in Presque Isle now and has to approve licenses all the time. Not to mention, his real estate background puts me in a position of being able to locate an appropriate and affordable property for this venture. He would gladly help me in the search and the fact that he owns his own business also puts him in the position to offer me advice on taxes, insurance, company write-offs, etc.
Oh well, I have lots of time to think about all of that and at least a year, probably two, before I can get THAT ball rolling.
I'm taking the girls shopping, then we're heading to Border's for my tutoring date.
Current Mood: okay
Current Music: I Love this Bar.....................Toby Keith
Anyway, I am willing to accept him, bad moods, physical ailments and all. I just have to remind myself that relationships aren't always about the good stuff and at least he trusts me enough to share his bad mood with me. It is just hard sometimes because we don't have a lot of QUANTITY when it comes to time together, and because that makes the quality of our time most important, I'd like to not waste that time on doom and gloom. Oh well, I still love him and we'll have lots of fun together in Laconia and at Julie's wedding/reception. He and I love to dance. I did mention my "dream" of owning a preschool in the Portland area. A separate building, not attached to my home, where I could go to work and leave work there to come home. He actually thought that it was a good idea and said he saw me owning a preschool and supported the entire venture. This makes me happy. I have been wondering how I was going to broach this subject with him because he has wanted me to get a "real" teaching job and use my degree, which I plan on doing, but I can teach school and own a preschool. He would be a big help to me, as he has lots of experience on licensing procedures because he sits on the zoning board in Presque Isle now and has to approve licenses all the time. Not to mention, his real estate background puts me in a position of being able to locate an appropriate and affordable property for this venture. He would gladly help me in the search and the fact that he owns his own business also puts him in the position to offer me advice on taxes, insurance, company write-offs, etc.
Oh well, I have lots of time to think about all of that and at least a year, probably two, before I can get THAT ball rolling.
I'm taking the girls shopping, then we're heading to Border's for my tutoring date.
Current Mood: okay
Current Music: I Love this Bar.....................Toby Keith
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Lilacs are Late!
Any wonder why the lilacs are a bit late this spring? The incessant rain and little sun, no doubt. Lilacs and daisies are my favorite flowers.
Brian is heading down. He will be here around 3. He is riding the bike! Even if it stays overcast, the air is quite warm right now and it should be a nice ride. We're only supposed to be getting a few showers, if any. Tomorrow is supposed to be a little better. We'll do more of our riding tomorrow.
Tomorrow evening, I have a meeting with my student at Border's. She speaks little English and I am her ESL tutor. It should prove to be a very rewarding experience for both of us. She is Korean and has a daughter in middle school, so we have a lot in common. I have one daughter in 9th grade, one in 8th grade and my son is in 6th.
I also have an interview with Sarah next week in regards to the FLC job. I am excited about the entire project. It looks like something I can jump right into. It will be at least a one year commitment, but that is fine, even though I am anxious to be moving on to Portland.
I bought some new movies last night. The Stepford Wives, Sideways, and Meet the Fockers. So the grand total for this month looks like 10 movies that I have purchased. Down a little than usual. I usually purchase 12-15 movies a month. Even just 10 a month means 120 new movies a year.
I just finished The da Vinci Code...great book for all who are looking to read it. Brown's view of history is a bit warped at times, but unless you took History of World Religions in college, you probably won't even know. I urge readers to do their own research about certain topics in the book, especially in reference to the Dead Sea Scrolls or the Knights Templar, but still a fabulous story nonetheless. I am interested in the hidden code within the book. Supposedly Dan Brown has his own code within his story. My next purchase will be the book called "Breaking the da Vinci Code". A fun read if you like mystery, suspense, cryptograms, history, word finds, etc.
Hopefully today and tomorrow I get some nice pictures of Brian and the new bike. I can't wait to see him! I have to finish picking up. Kitchen floor is washed, entryway floor is swept and washed. Now I need to wash the bathroom floor and vacuum the living room rug. Then the house will be done and I can blow dry my hair and get beautiful for Brian. I already went tanning, took my shower, ran to the grocery store, and did a few more errands. It is 11:48 and I've had a full morning already.
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Jennifer Knapp CD
Brian is heading down. He will be here around 3. He is riding the bike! Even if it stays overcast, the air is quite warm right now and it should be a nice ride. We're only supposed to be getting a few showers, if any. Tomorrow is supposed to be a little better. We'll do more of our riding tomorrow.
Tomorrow evening, I have a meeting with my student at Border's. She speaks little English and I am her ESL tutor. It should prove to be a very rewarding experience for both of us. She is Korean and has a daughter in middle school, so we have a lot in common. I have one daughter in 9th grade, one in 8th grade and my son is in 6th.
I also have an interview with Sarah next week in regards to the FLC job. I am excited about the entire project. It looks like something I can jump right into. It will be at least a one year commitment, but that is fine, even though I am anxious to be moving on to Portland.
I bought some new movies last night. The Stepford Wives, Sideways, and Meet the Fockers. So the grand total for this month looks like 10 movies that I have purchased. Down a little than usual. I usually purchase 12-15 movies a month. Even just 10 a month means 120 new movies a year.
I just finished The da Vinci Code...great book for all who are looking to read it. Brown's view of history is a bit warped at times, but unless you took History of World Religions in college, you probably won't even know. I urge readers to do their own research about certain topics in the book, especially in reference to the Dead Sea Scrolls or the Knights Templar, but still a fabulous story nonetheless. I am interested in the hidden code within the book. Supposedly Dan Brown has his own code within his story. My next purchase will be the book called "Breaking the da Vinci Code". A fun read if you like mystery, suspense, cryptograms, history, word finds, etc.
Hopefully today and tomorrow I get some nice pictures of Brian and the new bike. I can't wait to see him! I have to finish picking up. Kitchen floor is washed, entryway floor is swept and washed. Now I need to wash the bathroom floor and vacuum the living room rug. Then the house will be done and I can blow dry my hair and get beautiful for Brian. I already went tanning, took my shower, ran to the grocery store, and did a few more errands. It is 11:48 and I've had a full morning already.
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Jennifer Knapp CD
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Silly Girls
A picture of Hayley, Kayla and Shannon on our shopping trip to Freeport and Portland. I believe this was before our dinner at Eggspecations. Great restaurant.
Lexi's Baby
Even though Lexi is 4 years younger than Zach, she calls him her baby. She likes to sit down and have him lay his head in her lap, and she'll rub his face and say, "Shhh, it is okay, baby."
Coffee, Coffee, Coffee
Alexis said WE were tired at 8 PM last night. So we retired to the bedroom to watch movies. I was out by 9. Brian called about a quarter after 10. He will be here tomorrow afternoon.
Now I am off to get my coffee and do some quick shopping, then I get to perform my Saturday morning/afternoon cleaning routine. I plan on getting my tanning in today and tomorrow because they are not open on Monday. I have Monday off, too.
Two weeks from today, Brian and I are leaving for Laconia. I am SUPER excited!!! I can't believe how fast May has flown right by.
Now I am off to get my coffee and do some quick shopping, then I get to perform my Saturday morning/afternoon cleaning routine. I plan on getting my tanning in today and tomorrow because they are not open on Monday. I have Monday off, too.
Two weeks from today, Brian and I are leaving for Laconia. I am SUPER excited!!! I can't believe how fast May has flown right by.
Friday, May 27, 2005
So Cute!
My niece Lexi came over to see the new kittens. Mommy kitty is very proud of her babies and she was so nice and patient, letting 4 year old Lexi hold and kiss each one.
On the way back downstairs, Alexis says, "Aunt Jenn, I LOVE you! Can I spend the night?"
Of course it was said WAY TOO CUTE for me to say no!
I'm a sucker, I know. I don't think Brian is coming down until Sunday anyway. So Lexi promised not to pee in Auntie's bed. She is presently showing me the contents of her 'pack pack'. Let me just say, my niece has a super-charged imagination and quite an attitude!
I can't believe it is 7:30 PM already. I think Lex and I will bed down for the night and watch Brother Bear and Finding Nemo. Two of our favorite movies!!!
I have been up since 5:15 AM and I am beat.
On the way back downstairs, Alexis says, "Aunt Jenn, I LOVE you! Can I spend the night?"
Of course it was said WAY TOO CUTE for me to say no!
I'm a sucker, I know. I don't think Brian is coming down until Sunday anyway. So Lexi promised not to pee in Auntie's bed. She is presently showing me the contents of her 'pack pack'. Let me just say, my niece has a super-charged imagination and quite an attitude!
I can't believe it is 7:30 PM already. I think Lex and I will bed down for the night and watch Brother Bear and Finding Nemo. Two of our favorite movies!!!
I have been up since 5:15 AM and I am beat.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Rain Rain Go Take a Flying F***!!!
I am enjoying my day off. Only Hayley went to school today. Zach wasn't feeling so great and my cat, or should I say, Kayla's cat decided this would be the morning she would deliver all 5 of her kittens. Kayla could not leave Chloe's side, even to go pee, without the cat getting up and following her, kittens hanging from her or not, so she is in for the day. Maybe more. Depends on when Chloe lets her go! :) I did go up and catsit for her so she could come downstairs to pee. Chloe and the babies are doing wonderful. I was worried because Chloe is a very selfish cat and with this being her first litter, I was worried she might lack in the maternal instinct department, but lo and behold, she has proven to be an excellent mother! This will probably be her only litter, but because of her recent surgery and stitches, the vet thought it be best to not get her fixed at this time. All five have homes all ready. Carey at work wants one, Shelly wants one or two. Ruby wants one. I told my preschoolers that once they are born and they are big enough, I will bring them in one day so they can play with them. Several of the parents mentioned maybe wanting one. Chloe and the father, Xander, are extremely beautiful cats. I know, I know, every owner says this, but Chloe really was one of the most adorable kittens I've ever seen. A dark gray, long haired tiger cat. Xander is a long haired, cream and orange cat, little on the orange. All kittens have come out long-haired and gray, one is a creamy grey color, the rest like Chloe, except for one long haired black one. Don't know where she came from! :) One of the darker tiger ones has an orange stripe on his head. I was hoping for more orange ones in the litter.
I plan on doing NOTHING today, except pick up and cook the kids supper. They want chicken and dumplings again. I plan on reading some more, too.
Who here has ever heard of the number PHI? I had never heard of this number 1.618 or the fact that it is called the "devine proportion" until reading The Da Vinci Code. Every living thing in nature has the devine proportion. Even humans. Especially humans. Measure the top of your head to the floor. Divide that by the measurement of you hip to the floor...what do you get? 1.618. Measure your shoulder to your fingertips, divide by elbow to fingertips...1.618. Hip to floor divided by knee to floor...1.618. In honeybee colonies, lady bees outnumber males bees...in every beehive in the world, the proportion of lady bees to male bees is 1.618. From trees and leaf configurations to spirals on a mollusk shell, everything has the proportion of PHI. I learned this in The Da Vinci Code. Very cool book. I also learned that Mona Lisa is an anagram of AMON (the male god of fertility) and ISIS (the female goddess of fertility) and that Da Vinci intended on the Mona Lisa as being androgynous; she is neither male nor female. Cool, huh? Knowledge is Power! Also check out http://www.snapshotofgod.com
I plan on doing NOTHING today, except pick up and cook the kids supper. They want chicken and dumplings again. I plan on reading some more, too.
Who here has ever heard of the number PHI? I had never heard of this number 1.618 or the fact that it is called the "devine proportion" until reading The Da Vinci Code. Every living thing in nature has the devine proportion. Even humans. Especially humans. Measure the top of your head to the floor. Divide that by the measurement of you hip to the floor...what do you get? 1.618. Measure your shoulder to your fingertips, divide by elbow to fingertips...1.618. Hip to floor divided by knee to floor...1.618. In honeybee colonies, lady bees outnumber males bees...in every beehive in the world, the proportion of lady bees to male bees is 1.618. From trees and leaf configurations to spirals on a mollusk shell, everything has the proportion of PHI. I learned this in The Da Vinci Code. Very cool book. I also learned that Mona Lisa is an anagram of AMON (the male god of fertility) and ISIS (the female goddess of fertility) and that Da Vinci intended on the Mona Lisa as being androgynous; she is neither male nor female. Cool, huh? Knowledge is Power! Also check out http://www.snapshotofgod.com
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Ethan, Mackenzie and Jenn
I also got to play with the Playskoolers today, too! I have tomorrow off but I have to work 8 1/2 hours on Friday!
Jenna and Jenn
A change of pace at work today. I got to play with the babies and the toddlers! This is Jenna.
Sleepy
I have been very sleepy the last two days. Last night, Brian and I talked until about 10:30 and I fell asleep almost immediately. Slept GREAT until about 6:15. I got the kids up for school and then slept until 10:30. I probably shouldn't have done that last bit of napping, but I was enjoying my dreams that I was having during that part of my sleep.
I have to leave here at about 1:30 PM for work. Crap! That only gives me an hour and 45 minutes. This is what happens when you sleep your day away! I have tomorrow off. Brian and his dad had an important meeting in Augusta today. They left at like 6:30 AM this morning and are headed back to P.I. this afternoon. Hopefully I will see him at some point in the weekend. If he comes down Friday, he has to head back up Saturday night for Cassie's going away party. But he could come down Sunday morning and spend the day and night with me because I have Monday off for Memorial Day. If he stays in P.I., he'll just work right thru the holiday and that won't be good for him.
Alrighty, I have to go get ready for work. I will be with the babies today! Erica is going home early.
Current mood: rested
Current Music: Sink and Swim...................Plumb
I have to leave here at about 1:30 PM for work. Crap! That only gives me an hour and 45 minutes. This is what happens when you sleep your day away! I have tomorrow off. Brian and his dad had an important meeting in Augusta today. They left at like 6:30 AM this morning and are headed back to P.I. this afternoon. Hopefully I will see him at some point in the weekend. If he comes down Friday, he has to head back up Saturday night for Cassie's going away party. But he could come down Sunday morning and spend the day and night with me because I have Monday off for Memorial Day. If he stays in P.I., he'll just work right thru the holiday and that won't be good for him.
Alrighty, I have to go get ready for work. I will be with the babies today! Erica is going home early.
Current mood: rested
Current Music: Sink and Swim...................Plumb
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Another day down...
That is how I feel tonight. One of those days. Grocery shopping is done for the week! Except I'll have to go back because I seem to be inflicted with the inability to get everything in one trip! This time motz cheese was the forgotten item. Kinda hard to make nachos without it! :)
I ran into Steve and Jen at Hannaford. Steve was a professor of mine, though only 5 years older than me. Jen is also a professor on campus. She is my age. We got to be good friends actually and I ended up taking several classes with him. Anyway, it was great to catch up. He's helped me a lot when I needed specific literary items short notice when I was teaching my 7th and 8th graders last year, or even this year when I was working with the kids at FLC. Anyway, last time I saw them was when I was by the bay in Portland, attempting to make out in the truck with Brian, but I was having a hard time because there was some sketchy old guy parked next to us all alone and kind of watching us, and I saw what looked like Jen and Steve walk by. I asked them tonight if that could have possibly been them. Yup! They asked what I had been doing...ummmm, wathcing the ships go by? 11 PM at night...riiiiiiight!
I am headed to bed to read and relax.
I don't have to work tomorrow until 2 PM! Yay!
I ran into Steve and Jen at Hannaford. Steve was a professor of mine, though only 5 years older than me. Jen is also a professor on campus. She is my age. We got to be good friends actually and I ended up taking several classes with him. Anyway, it was great to catch up. He's helped me a lot when I needed specific literary items short notice when I was teaching my 7th and 8th graders last year, or even this year when I was working with the kids at FLC. Anyway, last time I saw them was when I was by the bay in Portland, attempting to make out in the truck with Brian, but I was having a hard time because there was some sketchy old guy parked next to us all alone and kind of watching us, and I saw what looked like Jen and Steve walk by. I asked them tonight if that could have possibly been them. Yup! They asked what I had been doing...ummmm, wathcing the ships go by? 11 PM at night...riiiiiiight!
I am headed to bed to read and relax.
I don't have to work tomorrow until 2 PM! Yay!
Countdown
Sooo, le'ts see...today is the 24th...we leave for laconia on the 11th...two weeks and 3 days to go.
On a sad note, that means that I only have two weeks left with Zach. He will be gone on the 20th. I have Julie's wedding on the 25th. Then the 4th will be upon us quickly and I have that week off for vacation. So June is basically going to FLY by. My birthday is July 28th. Last year, I spent it with AJ and he gave me a very nice shopping spree, but I have to say, it was the beginning of the end for us. The first week in August was when I moved back home. A week later, I mailed back his ring and he mailed me my stuff, sans a few toys, my bike helmet and my motorcycle gloves...oh yeah, and he kept my moisturizer which he used to use, but wasn't man enough to buy on his own...it was all stuff he had bought anyway, but still it was for ME and I got to keep all of the other stuff. So a few weeks ago was the first time I had seen him since August. He hasn't changed. I've changed a bit. Maybe my attitude towards him mostly. I got out of the car feeling very sorry for him, but really nothing else. It is weird how some people can have such little effect on your life and others can change the world for you. But it doesn't hurt to remain his friend. I don't know about all the other bloggers out there, but a millionaire buddy in the back pocket might come in handy some day. I am kidding. I'll leave the gold digging to Lisa. There is something exciting about amassing one's own fortune.
I received my British Virgin Islands itinerary in the mail yesterday. I think I am booking a March cruise. Maybe April...maybe I will take April vacation with the kids and spend it in Virinia again as planned and then have this vacation either right before or right after the Virginia trip. This vacation will be sans children. I will be booking a stateroom on the yacht and spend 7 days island hopping and enjoying the mild waters off the British Virgin Isles...it is all inclusive and I could even book a clothing optional vacation. :) I don't know if I will be bringing anyone or not. I am paying for the stateroom, which means I can bring one person, but I might just enjoy it on my own. I haven't decided yet. Depends on where I am relationship-wise, I guess. Although, there is this private deserted island that the boat drops you off at and then picks you up at a specified time, that sounds extremely romantic. They even pack you a picnic lunch with wine and everything. The entire vacation is less than $4000. If I wait until they email me (this is very short notice usually) I could potentially book a trip for less than $2000. But like I said, there would be no telling when I'd get the email and I would have to be extremely flexible. That deal works great with people that maybe own their own business or are possibly retired and can leave at a moments notice. Anyone notice how the upper class still benefits? People who usually have that kind of flexibility tend to be upper middle to high class individuals and yet they get the discount for being able to book at a moment's notice. People who WORK for their low to middle class salary have to usually plan well in advance for a vacation and get screwed in the deal because they then have to pay top dollar. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want to live in any other country but this one, but so often one can see the whole "rich get richer" theory play out. Money definitely makes money and as soon as I get a good portion of my own, I plan on investing it in rental property. But, I digress.
I work today until 5:30. I have Thursday off! YIPPEE! Tonite I am going tanning after work. I am then going grocery shopping and then relaxing in bed with a good book and getting a good night's sleep. I didn't sleep so well last night. My future looks pretty bright this morning and I am looking forward to going to work and spending some time with my kids and then coming home and spending some time with my REAL children! :) We usually go to the movies on Tuesday nights but maybe Thursday, since it is my day off.
I talked with Flint today. Really weird. Just out of the blue, he calls to 'check in' with me. He is enjoying his new job. After some small talk, things just got uncomfortably quiet as I really don't have a whole lot to say to him. The entire time we dated, I never trusted him and for me, I have a hard time even being friendly with someone I can't trust. His Wal-Mart discount will help with that! He had his purpose I guess. The holidays would have been horrible if I had had to spend them alone and sometimes, especially at times like that, anybody is better than nobody, and prior to New Year's, he and I didn't have any real problems. It wasn't until he got fired that that feeling of distrust I had always had in my gut began to manifest itself.
I have never distrusted Brian. Funny, how the person that has the ability to inflict the most pain on your heart is the person you trust the most with it.
Current Mood: very weird
Current Music: Fast Cars and Freedom...Rascal Flats...AJ had this CD playing in the car a few weeks ago and made me listen to it.
On a sad note, that means that I only have two weeks left with Zach. He will be gone on the 20th. I have Julie's wedding on the 25th. Then the 4th will be upon us quickly and I have that week off for vacation. So June is basically going to FLY by. My birthday is July 28th. Last year, I spent it with AJ and he gave me a very nice shopping spree, but I have to say, it was the beginning of the end for us. The first week in August was when I moved back home. A week later, I mailed back his ring and he mailed me my stuff, sans a few toys, my bike helmet and my motorcycle gloves...oh yeah, and he kept my moisturizer which he used to use, but wasn't man enough to buy on his own...it was all stuff he had bought anyway, but still it was for ME and I got to keep all of the other stuff. So a few weeks ago was the first time I had seen him since August. He hasn't changed. I've changed a bit. Maybe my attitude towards him mostly. I got out of the car feeling very sorry for him, but really nothing else. It is weird how some people can have such little effect on your life and others can change the world for you. But it doesn't hurt to remain his friend. I don't know about all the other bloggers out there, but a millionaire buddy in the back pocket might come in handy some day. I am kidding. I'll leave the gold digging to Lisa. There is something exciting about amassing one's own fortune.
I received my British Virgin Islands itinerary in the mail yesterday. I think I am booking a March cruise. Maybe April...maybe I will take April vacation with the kids and spend it in Virinia again as planned and then have this vacation either right before or right after the Virginia trip. This vacation will be sans children. I will be booking a stateroom on the yacht and spend 7 days island hopping and enjoying the mild waters off the British Virgin Isles...it is all inclusive and I could even book a clothing optional vacation. :) I don't know if I will be bringing anyone or not. I am paying for the stateroom, which means I can bring one person, but I might just enjoy it on my own. I haven't decided yet. Depends on where I am relationship-wise, I guess. Although, there is this private deserted island that the boat drops you off at and then picks you up at a specified time, that sounds extremely romantic. They even pack you a picnic lunch with wine and everything. The entire vacation is less than $4000. If I wait until they email me (this is very short notice usually) I could potentially book a trip for less than $2000. But like I said, there would be no telling when I'd get the email and I would have to be extremely flexible. That deal works great with people that maybe own their own business or are possibly retired and can leave at a moments notice. Anyone notice how the upper class still benefits? People who usually have that kind of flexibility tend to be upper middle to high class individuals and yet they get the discount for being able to book at a moment's notice. People who WORK for their low to middle class salary have to usually plan well in advance for a vacation and get screwed in the deal because they then have to pay top dollar. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want to live in any other country but this one, but so often one can see the whole "rich get richer" theory play out. Money definitely makes money and as soon as I get a good portion of my own, I plan on investing it in rental property. But, I digress.
I work today until 5:30. I have Thursday off! YIPPEE! Tonite I am going tanning after work. I am then going grocery shopping and then relaxing in bed with a good book and getting a good night's sleep. I didn't sleep so well last night. My future looks pretty bright this morning and I am looking forward to going to work and spending some time with my kids and then coming home and spending some time with my REAL children! :) We usually go to the movies on Tuesday nights but maybe Thursday, since it is my day off.
I talked with Flint today. Really weird. Just out of the blue, he calls to 'check in' with me. He is enjoying his new job. After some small talk, things just got uncomfortably quiet as I really don't have a whole lot to say to him. The entire time we dated, I never trusted him and for me, I have a hard time even being friendly with someone I can't trust. His Wal-Mart discount will help with that! He had his purpose I guess. The holidays would have been horrible if I had had to spend them alone and sometimes, especially at times like that, anybody is better than nobody, and prior to New Year's, he and I didn't have any real problems. It wasn't until he got fired that that feeling of distrust I had always had in my gut began to manifest itself.
I have never distrusted Brian. Funny, how the person that has the ability to inflict the most pain on your heart is the person you trust the most with it.
Current Mood: very weird
Current Music: Fast Cars and Freedom...Rascal Flats...AJ had this CD playing in the car a few weeks ago and made me listen to it.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Dirty
Blogworld, how do walls get SO dirty? So I was cleaning some more today, not much because I did the majority of it yesterday, but I decided to wash down the stairs and railing...well, upon doing so, I decided to swipe the wall and get off any dust, cobwebs, what have you...well OF COURSE after doing that quick swipe, there was a significant difference between the wall that had been cleaned and the wall that hadn't been cleaned. I proceeded to do all walls in the entryway and leading to the upstairs. Now I am a sweating mess but I have clean walls. After dumping out the very dirty water, I was just flabbergasted. My mop bucket water isn't even that dirty, but of course, I wash my floors at least once a week. And I do wash the walls about twice a year, usually springtime and then again in the fall to kind of do a pre-winter close, but I can't imagine where the dirt is coming from, unless of course this is soot from my furnace. Yes, Brian, you were probably right about the furnace. This would exlplain why they seem dirtier in the spring. I don't use the furnace after April, so obviously they won't get so dirty by the time fall gets here.
Raining AGAIN!
I am starting to hate this weather!!! Thank goodness I am tanning artificially or my moods would be really messed up!
Update time again...let's see...church was good last night. Not as uplifting and good as the morning service, but the night services never usually are. The night service is more Bible study than anything, plus lots of Christian rock music with the band. It was definitely informative and was definitely something I needed to hear. I can get too caught up in my world sometimes, in my 'lifeplan' if you will, with all of its goals and dreams and wants and desires, to really stop and listen to what I am supposed to be hearing. I pay too much attention to what advertisers and the rest of the world tell me I HAVE to have. Really, I don't HAVE to have a brand new G5 Laptop. I have a G4, running Panther 10.3 and have more power and speed than I personally will ever need. I don't need a brand new gas-guzzling SUV in the likes of a Chevy Trailblazer, white with black trim, as much as I really like them. I really don't need more than what God is already providing me with, and that is a bright mind in which to succeed in the workplace, a job to pay my bills, a family that loves me dearly, a roof over my head, food on my table, and clear, drinkable water coming out of the tap. We aren't leaving this world with any possessions. My favorite jeans? Um, no. I have to have my Ralph Lauren sunglasses, I say. Not where I am going, I am told. So why am I knocking myself out, trying to accumulate all of these possessions when I can't take a dang one of them with me? They certainly don't make me a better person. Brian and I talked last night about how I often use my outer appearance to protect the "inside" me. Then he quoted me a line from his all-time favorite movie, On Golden Pond, in his best Hepburn voice, and said, "You know, (I don't know the guys name, but it is Katherine Hepburn talking to Henry Fonday), you really are the dearest, sweetest man alive. The sad thing is, I am the only one who knows it."
The kids missed the school bus this morning, which is why I am blogging so darn early. I don't have to be at work until 1, so I am going to spend some time thinking more about other things Ken said last night. He talked a lot about people who jump from one relationship to another. He also mentioned that it is very important for two souls to connect way before two bodies should. I think it was his way to discourage young Christians away from premarital sex, but he did have a point. On our first date, when Brian and I think back on it, it is hard for us to remember that we hadn't known each other very long. When we think back on that weekend, it seems like we had been together for a lot longer. I really can't remember a time before him, even though he wasn't THERE, he was always THERE. I know that doesn't make any sense whatsoever, but when you are a kid, and you think about the person who you're hope you'll marry and be with forever, you kind of get deterred when you don't meet him right off. Then you settle for less than fulfilling relationships, sometimes making a life with this person. How sad to be spending your life with someone when you finally meet HIM. I am thankful I was free and clear when I met Brian.
So in answer to Brian's question about why I am so patient with him? Aside from the obvious fact that I am in love with him, it is because I can't imagine a life without him in it.
Okay...enough blogging...going tanning.
Update time again...let's see...church was good last night. Not as uplifting and good as the morning service, but the night services never usually are. The night service is more Bible study than anything, plus lots of Christian rock music with the band. It was definitely informative and was definitely something I needed to hear. I can get too caught up in my world sometimes, in my 'lifeplan' if you will, with all of its goals and dreams and wants and desires, to really stop and listen to what I am supposed to be hearing. I pay too much attention to what advertisers and the rest of the world tell me I HAVE to have. Really, I don't HAVE to have a brand new G5 Laptop. I have a G4, running Panther 10.3 and have more power and speed than I personally will ever need. I don't need a brand new gas-guzzling SUV in the likes of a Chevy Trailblazer, white with black trim, as much as I really like them. I really don't need more than what God is already providing me with, and that is a bright mind in which to succeed in the workplace, a job to pay my bills, a family that loves me dearly, a roof over my head, food on my table, and clear, drinkable water coming out of the tap. We aren't leaving this world with any possessions. My favorite jeans? Um, no. I have to have my Ralph Lauren sunglasses, I say. Not where I am going, I am told. So why am I knocking myself out, trying to accumulate all of these possessions when I can't take a dang one of them with me? They certainly don't make me a better person. Brian and I talked last night about how I often use my outer appearance to protect the "inside" me. Then he quoted me a line from his all-time favorite movie, On Golden Pond, in his best Hepburn voice, and said, "You know, (I don't know the guys name, but it is Katherine Hepburn talking to Henry Fonday), you really are the dearest, sweetest man alive. The sad thing is, I am the only one who knows it."
The kids missed the school bus this morning, which is why I am blogging so darn early. I don't have to be at work until 1, so I am going to spend some time thinking more about other things Ken said last night. He talked a lot about people who jump from one relationship to another. He also mentioned that it is very important for two souls to connect way before two bodies should. I think it was his way to discourage young Christians away from premarital sex, but he did have a point. On our first date, when Brian and I think back on it, it is hard for us to remember that we hadn't known each other very long. When we think back on that weekend, it seems like we had been together for a lot longer. I really can't remember a time before him, even though he wasn't THERE, he was always THERE. I know that doesn't make any sense whatsoever, but when you are a kid, and you think about the person who you're hope you'll marry and be with forever, you kind of get deterred when you don't meet him right off. Then you settle for less than fulfilling relationships, sometimes making a life with this person. How sad to be spending your life with someone when you finally meet HIM. I am thankful I was free and clear when I met Brian.
So in answer to Brian's question about why I am so patient with him? Aside from the obvious fact that I am in love with him, it is because I can't imagine a life without him in it.
Okay...enough blogging...going tanning.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Sunday Again
The weeks fly right by sometimes. It is Sunday again. Laundry is caught up. Floors all washed. Dishes done. Rug vacuumed. It is a rainy, cool day, so I think I will make the kids one of their favorite meals...chicken and dumplings. We have church at 6 PM.
SO today is just a laid back, not terribly exciting, kind of day. I didn't feel well at all yesterday. I feel much better today. I think I am definitely on the mend.
SO today is just a laid back, not terribly exciting, kind of day. I didn't feel well at all yesterday. I feel much better today. I think I am definitely on the mend.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
The Morning After
I am getting so old or something, even though I got CARDED last night at Margarita's!!! I only had 3 strawberry margaritas to drink, I barely had a buzz, was home in bed by 9:30 and asleep by about 11 after Brian's phone call, but yet I still feel like I have an edge of a hangover. Then again, I have felt hungover all week upon waking and I've had nothing to drink. I will say, those three blessed alcoholic beverages took all of my "preschool" stress away. I was in a cranky mood with them yesterday and it is mostly because I am just NOT a morning person. That doesn't mean I can't and won't adjust, I just have to remember that yesterday was only my 2nd 8AM morning in a long time.
Last night on the phone, Brian again mentioned this feeling he's had all week that something really bad was going to happen. He said he just can't shake it but doesn't know what it would have anything to do with. It is kind of freaking me out. I was like, does this bad thing have anything to do with you? With ME? With the world? Let's be a little specific here. And he said, Jenn, I do not know. It is just a bad feeling.
And again, he brought up how much he misses me and how little he gets to see me. It is hard to tell him I feel the same way without putting pressure on both of us to see each other more. The way I am figuring it, if we can handle our vacation together and still like each other after and want to still be together, then I think he and I will have to sit down and make a plan about when and where and who will move, etc. I honestly don't see that happening for a year, but on the phone last night, he was talking about moving in August and he's made several mentions about big changes were going to happen this summer. As he was falling off to sleep last night, he said, you know, there isn't anything in this world that I wouldn't do for you. AWWWWWWWW!!!
We are watching Air Bud 15 or somthing...I am sure it isn't number 15, but there have been quite a few. The acting is SUPERB! :) However, the puppies are cute. It ust reaffirms my desire to have a new Golden retriever puppy. I will have to tell Brian that this is indeed the pet we will get before he goes out and does something stupid like getting a poodle.
Well, I think I am going to clean my room and listen to some CD's while waiting for Brian to call or arrive.
Current Mood: happy & tired
Current Music: Jennifer Knapp
Last night on the phone, Brian again mentioned this feeling he's had all week that something really bad was going to happen. He said he just can't shake it but doesn't know what it would have anything to do with. It is kind of freaking me out. I was like, does this bad thing have anything to do with you? With ME? With the world? Let's be a little specific here. And he said, Jenn, I do not know. It is just a bad feeling.
And again, he brought up how much he misses me and how little he gets to see me. It is hard to tell him I feel the same way without putting pressure on both of us to see each other more. The way I am figuring it, if we can handle our vacation together and still like each other after and want to still be together, then I think he and I will have to sit down and make a plan about when and where and who will move, etc. I honestly don't see that happening for a year, but on the phone last night, he was talking about moving in August and he's made several mentions about big changes were going to happen this summer. As he was falling off to sleep last night, he said, you know, there isn't anything in this world that I wouldn't do for you. AWWWWWWWW!!!
We are watching Air Bud 15 or somthing...I am sure it isn't number 15, but there have been quite a few. The acting is SUPERB! :) However, the puppies are cute. It ust reaffirms my desire to have a new Golden retriever puppy. I will have to tell Brian that this is indeed the pet we will get before he goes out and does something stupid like getting a poodle.
Well, I think I am going to clean my room and listen to some CD's while waiting for Brian to call or arrive.
Current Mood: happy & tired
Current Music: Jennifer Knapp
Friday, May 20, 2005
Margarita's
My friend Amy has been trying to get a hold of me for several weeks to hang out and I hadn't returned her calls, which she let me hear about tonite! :) Anyway, soooo, she finally got a hold of me and I felt obligated to join her at Margarita's to catch up. We ate and drank some drinks and caught up for a few hours. She will be leaving for Ohio in August. She got a full scholarship to law school there. GO AMY!!!
Now I am going to go to bed and wait for Brian to call. Zach is spending the night at my brother's house tonite. Zach got a new PSP for his birthday and my brother wants to play with it! :) The girls didn't go to the dance and instead are all hanging out here. It's actually kind of nice having the "noise"...the buzz of several teenage girls gossiping and singing karaoke and doing makeovers. I miss those days with my friends sometimes.
Other than that, I am wrecked. Time for bed. I will blog tomorrow.
Now I am going to go to bed and wait for Brian to call. Zach is spending the night at my brother's house tonite. Zach got a new PSP for his birthday and my brother wants to play with it! :) The girls didn't go to the dance and instead are all hanging out here. It's actually kind of nice having the "noise"...the buzz of several teenage girls gossiping and singing karaoke and doing makeovers. I miss those days with my friends sometimes.
Other than that, I am wrecked. Time for bed. I will blog tomorrow.
TIRED!
I am so tired. I am sleeping in tomorrow, that is for sure.
I was drained at work today. The kids and I had a busy morning and we went for a walk right before lunch. By that time, I was definitely running low on energy.
Brian and I stayed up half the night talking on the phone. He is bothered by the fact that we run short on quantity of time togther. I reminded him that the time we spend together is definitely all about QUALITY, which I thought we both agreed was most important. He admitted that while he still thinks it is most important, he added a "for now" comment. Of course, I want to be with him full-time. I just don't see it happening for at least another year. I am trying to be realistic and not put a lot of pressure on him to relocate. I am trying to be adult about all of it. It all boils down to him wanting to be in one place and needing to be in another. I am sure we will have a long talk about it tomorrow when he is here.
I am so glad it is Friday. I even worked less hours this week and still feel more tired than usual. I just want some hot, sunny weather. This rain makes me sleepy.
Not much else is going on to blog about. My daughters have yet another dance tonight. Their friends are crashing here after. Tomorrow is my nephew's birthday. Erica's birthday is today. All of us girls are supposed to celebrate her birthday tomorrow afternoon at Chili's. Hopefully Brian is down before that time so he can attend. He's met all of the girls at work, but I'd like for him to get a chance to know them better before Julie's wedding, plus they'll be there with their significant others. I kind of hope it rains tomorrow, then we won't worry about the bike show in Bangor and head to Portland. I am in need of some entertainment other than the Bangor variety.
I was drained at work today. The kids and I had a busy morning and we went for a walk right before lunch. By that time, I was definitely running low on energy.
Brian and I stayed up half the night talking on the phone. He is bothered by the fact that we run short on quantity of time togther. I reminded him that the time we spend together is definitely all about QUALITY, which I thought we both agreed was most important. He admitted that while he still thinks it is most important, he added a "for now" comment. Of course, I want to be with him full-time. I just don't see it happening for at least another year. I am trying to be realistic and not put a lot of pressure on him to relocate. I am trying to be adult about all of it. It all boils down to him wanting to be in one place and needing to be in another. I am sure we will have a long talk about it tomorrow when he is here.
I am so glad it is Friday. I even worked less hours this week and still feel more tired than usual. I just want some hot, sunny weather. This rain makes me sleepy.
Not much else is going on to blog about. My daughters have yet another dance tonight. Their friends are crashing here after. Tomorrow is my nephew's birthday. Erica's birthday is today. All of us girls are supposed to celebrate her birthday tomorrow afternoon at Chili's. Hopefully Brian is down before that time so he can attend. He's met all of the girls at work, but I'd like for him to get a chance to know them better before Julie's wedding, plus they'll be there with their significant others. I kind of hope it rains tomorrow, then we won't worry about the bike show in Bangor and head to Portland. I am in need of some entertainment other than the Bangor variety.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
A New Countdown!!!
You all remember my Virginia Beach countdown...well, this is my Bike Week countdown. I am leaving 3 weeks from tomorrow! YIPPEE!!!!! I can't wait to have Brian for an entire week! Neither one of us have to work and we'll be together 24 hours a day from the 11th till the 19th.
There is a bike show in Bangor this weekend and he is coming down for that and hopefully if the weather holds out, we will be spending some of the weekend on HIS bike.
Zach's concert was great. My ex mother-in-law came down and we had a surprisingly nice time. We've always gotten along but things have been kind of tense the last few years and our contact is usually limited to my picking Zach up or dropping him off. We all went out to dinner afterwards and it felt like old times. We were both in good spirits so I am sure that helped a lot.
I finally got into bed about 9:30 and read a little waiting for Brian to call. I was asleep by about 11 and was up by 5. I had to be at work by 8. I forgot about these early hours being so draining. One more day of that and then it is the weekend.
I enjoyed my day off, I guess, but I think I need a day off to recover from my day off. I was exceptionally busy yesterday. When I take a day off in the middle of a work week, while I enjoy the break, I feel like I am playing catch-up the rest of the week. I tried to keep the preschoolers on task as much as possible today. The morning Jenn is much more organized and curriculum-oriented than the afternoon Jenn. I think the kids prefer the afternoon Jenn, because I can be more laid back and we all kind of go with the flow according to our whims and fancy. We got a lot accomplished today. We ate breakfast and played, then we had Circle time (calendar, weather, show and tell, new song of the week, old song that the kids can't seem to give up), story time, Center time (in which the kids get divided into groups and work together at teacher picked centers for 15 minutes before switching centers), skillbuilder lesson, then art project. After all that, we cleaned up and got ready for lunchtime. It was a sad day for Bailey. She wasn't at school monday. She left early Tuesday, so I saw her for like an hour. I had Wednesday off and today I left at 12:30, or was supposed to. I didn't get out of there until after 1 because of her tears. She loves Erin and has assured me she will give her a chance, but she was just a little emotional today. She likes to have a regular schedule and definitely responds better to consistency. It broke my heart to have to leave her today, but I am sure she'll get through the day just fine.
Tonight I think my brother and I are taking Zach and his son Cody to see Star Wars. We considered going last night, but there was no way I would have been awake by midnight.
Current Mood: really tired
Current Music: Tiny Dancer ....Elton John
There is a bike show in Bangor this weekend and he is coming down for that and hopefully if the weather holds out, we will be spending some of the weekend on HIS bike.
Zach's concert was great. My ex mother-in-law came down and we had a surprisingly nice time. We've always gotten along but things have been kind of tense the last few years and our contact is usually limited to my picking Zach up or dropping him off. We all went out to dinner afterwards and it felt like old times. We were both in good spirits so I am sure that helped a lot.
I finally got into bed about 9:30 and read a little waiting for Brian to call. I was asleep by about 11 and was up by 5. I had to be at work by 8. I forgot about these early hours being so draining. One more day of that and then it is the weekend.
I enjoyed my day off, I guess, but I think I need a day off to recover from my day off. I was exceptionally busy yesterday. When I take a day off in the middle of a work week, while I enjoy the break, I feel like I am playing catch-up the rest of the week. I tried to keep the preschoolers on task as much as possible today. The morning Jenn is much more organized and curriculum-oriented than the afternoon Jenn. I think the kids prefer the afternoon Jenn, because I can be more laid back and we all kind of go with the flow according to our whims and fancy. We got a lot accomplished today. We ate breakfast and played, then we had Circle time (calendar, weather, show and tell, new song of the week, old song that the kids can't seem to give up), story time, Center time (in which the kids get divided into groups and work together at teacher picked centers for 15 minutes before switching centers), skillbuilder lesson, then art project. After all that, we cleaned up and got ready for lunchtime. It was a sad day for Bailey. She wasn't at school monday. She left early Tuesday, so I saw her for like an hour. I had Wednesday off and today I left at 12:30, or was supposed to. I didn't get out of there until after 1 because of her tears. She loves Erin and has assured me she will give her a chance, but she was just a little emotional today. She likes to have a regular schedule and definitely responds better to consistency. It broke my heart to have to leave her today, but I am sure she'll get through the day just fine.
Tonight I think my brother and I are taking Zach and his son Cody to see Star Wars. We considered going last night, but there was no way I would have been awake by midnight.
Current Mood: really tired
Current Music: Tiny Dancer ....Elton John
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Job Update
SOOOOO, Sarah emailed me already and is processing my application and needed a cover leter and resume, even though the main office already has both. This is just pretty much a formality. So I sent those out. Everyone keep your fingers crossed for me. This is really the job I want for at least the next year. Then back to my plan to move to Portland.
Half of my day is done. I did my errands, went shopping with Allison, and now I am waiting to pick Zach up at school at 3:45. Then he has to come home and get ready for his concert. I might have time for a quick nap. My head is killing me. I can not wait to curl up into bed tonight. I have to work tomorrow at 8 AM, but the upside of that is that I get out of work at 12:30.
Half of my day is done. I did my errands, went shopping with Allison, and now I am waiting to pick Zach up at school at 3:45. Then he has to come home and get ready for his concert. I might have time for a quick nap. My head is killing me. I can not wait to curl up into bed tonight. I have to work tomorrow at 8 AM, but the upside of that is that I get out of work at 12:30.
Busy Day
So much for my dreams of having a lazy day off. I was on the phone last night with Brian until about 11, then I had to get Zach up at 6 AM to shower and get ready. He had to be at school by 7:15 in order to catch the bus that was leaving for his field trip. No sense in going back to bed. Maybe I'll be able to catch a few minutes for a nap today. I am going to the bank, tanning, and running the rest of my errands all before 10:30 because that is when I am meeting Allison's at Border's. I have a few books I need to pick up and then we have to hit some stores because Zach needs new black pants and probably a new tie because we can't seem to find his other ones. I actually think one is still in the car from when he was in Desaraye's wedding. Then I have to pick him up from school at 3:45. His band concert is tonight and he has to be at the high school by 6:30.
The girls are still outside waiting for the school bus. It is usually here by 7:10. The other kids are still lined up on the street waiting, too. Very weird.
This is going to be a very long day. I really just want to go back to sleep.
Current Mood: very sleepy
Current Music: Switchfoot
The girls are still outside waiting for the school bus. It is usually here by 7:10. The other kids are still lined up on the street waiting, too. Very weird.
This is going to be a very long day. I really just want to go back to sleep.
Current Mood: very sleepy
Current Music: Switchfoot
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Update
I talked with Claire finally. The new job will start August 20th, so I will be able to keep the preschool job until then. I am anxious to get started.
Work was okay. I have tomorrow off! Zach has a field trip to Schoodic Point tomorrow and then a band concert tomorrow night. He plays the trumpet.
Work was okay. I have tomorrow off! Zach has a field trip to Schoodic Point tomorrow and then a band concert tomorrow night. He plays the trumpet.
Jessy called me into work early today, but I was slow in returning her call, so by the time I reached them, they didn't need me because they were short on kids anyway. Carey called in sick this morning. Doesn't surprise me after the day she had yesterday. She definitely needed the day off. I'm taking tomorrow off! YAY! Jade wanted to take today off, but I don't think she can now that Carey is out for the day. Jade needs a full week's paycheck anyway.
I am playing phone tag with Claire, my potential new boss. I am curious to hear what she has to say about my start date, paycheck, etc.
I am feeling better. My nose isn't stuffed up anymore.
I am playing phone tag with Claire, my potential new boss. I am curious to hear what she has to say about my start date, paycheck, etc.
I am feeling better. My nose isn't stuffed up anymore.
Monday, May 16, 2005
Cranky Monday
What a weird day at work! Most of the kids were extremely cranky. Carey was crying. Erika was grumpy. The only ones in a fairly good mood were Jade and I. Julie was sad because of a potential screw up with her honeymoon. Long story, but suffice it to say, a travel agent may NOT be your best bet.
I came home, had a talk with Zach about his teacher's phone call, talked with Kayla and Hayley a bit, signed whatever papers they needed signed, and washed the kitchen floor. Every once in a while I like to do a "bleaching" in which I wash the floor with a good dose of bleach. Probably wasn't the best day to do it, as my throat feels like it is on fire right now, but my sinuses sure are clear! :)
Now, I think I am going to retire to my bedroom, do some reading and relax to some tunes. I am taking Wednesday off from work. Zach has a band concert that night.
Current Mood: a little weary
Current Music: Night Moves.....Bob Seger
I came home, had a talk with Zach about his teacher's phone call, talked with Kayla and Hayley a bit, signed whatever papers they needed signed, and washed the kitchen floor. Every once in a while I like to do a "bleaching" in which I wash the floor with a good dose of bleach. Probably wasn't the best day to do it, as my throat feels like it is on fire right now, but my sinuses sure are clear! :)
Now, I think I am going to retire to my bedroom, do some reading and relax to some tunes. I am taking Wednesday off from work. Zach has a band concert that night.
Current Mood: a little weary
Current Music: Night Moves.....Bob Seger
Church last night was great. We were treated to a concert with Sherri Youngward. She has the most amazing voice. The best part of the evening was when she performed a duet with Ken. It was one of those moments when you get goosebumps.
I am feeling better. Still a little congested but it is on its way out. And to answer Eric's question about any other allergies...no, I am just allergic to tree pollen and dust. The dust just gets me a little stuffy or makes me sneeze. The tree pollen really messes me up. I am also allergic to aspirin and ibuprofin. It gives me hives. If I am seriously stressed out, I get hives, too.
Zach's teacher just called. She wants to discuss his unwillingness to do any homework lately. Okay, I am not quite sure how I am supposed to respond to her when I call her back. Zach has been grounded. Zach has had his PSP, PS2, Atari, tv and dvd player taken away. Aside from beating my child, I really am at a loss. I refuse to reward him for doing something he should be doing anyway, because of my belief that intrinsic motivation is most important in this life. If one can't find intrinsic motivation in sa task, one is less apt to maintain the motivation to do the task. Studies have proven over and over again that extrinsic rewards only work for a short period of time. I can prove this. I LOVE to read. I am a fast reader. I would rather spend my days reading than doing pretty much anything else. So when I was offered a job on campus working for disability services, reading books onto cassette tapes, I couldn't refuse. I could read and get PAID for it!!! :) I was reading books for an English class for a visually impaired student. These weren't boring textbooks, but books that I had already read or had been intending to read. Books that I would have normally found stimulating. But after the first few weeks, I found I couldn't even read for pleasure anymore. This job sucked all of the fun out of reading for me. Why? Because my originial motivation to read was intrinsic. I read because I loved it and found great relaxation and enjoyment in it. When my motivation to read became extrinsic, i.e. I was getting a paycheck for doing something that I once did for pure enjoyment, reading became a job, a hassle.
Anyway, as far as Zach is concerned, he is still on the honor roll, and is in no danger of being retained, but I am concerned because this lack of initiative on his part is rather sudden. I am not sure if this has to do with his going to middle school next year. I don't know why this would scare him because he is going to the middle school with all of his friends, and his sister will be there and he knows the kids that are there now because they were once in his elementary school. It isn't like he is going to a new school where he knows no one. I haven't had this problem with the girls because they each have a diagnosed learning disability and have to bust their butts to maintain honor roll status. Zach's main interest of late has been reading the Bible, namely Revelations, and he is intent on cracking the "Bible Code". For those who don't know, The Bible Code, a highly popular book, talks about the code in the Bible. It is all about statistics and matrixes and stringing the letters of a passage end to end, and taking letters that are equidistant and putting them in an invisible cylinder and lining the letters up in a matrix to form a word find of sorts. For instance, in a passage in Acts, the words twin towers, New York City, airplanes, dust and blood, September Eleventh, etc. all appear. The book was written well before 9/11, The man who wrote the book, Michal Drosnin, also predicted, using his code, the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin and tried to warn him a year before his assassination. The theory is highly skeptical but definitely ironic and extremely coincidental and fun if you like doing word finds.
I am feeling better. Still a little congested but it is on its way out. And to answer Eric's question about any other allergies...no, I am just allergic to tree pollen and dust. The dust just gets me a little stuffy or makes me sneeze. The tree pollen really messes me up. I am also allergic to aspirin and ibuprofin. It gives me hives. If I am seriously stressed out, I get hives, too.
Zach's teacher just called. She wants to discuss his unwillingness to do any homework lately. Okay, I am not quite sure how I am supposed to respond to her when I call her back. Zach has been grounded. Zach has had his PSP, PS2, Atari, tv and dvd player taken away. Aside from beating my child, I really am at a loss. I refuse to reward him for doing something he should be doing anyway, because of my belief that intrinsic motivation is most important in this life. If one can't find intrinsic motivation in sa task, one is less apt to maintain the motivation to do the task. Studies have proven over and over again that extrinsic rewards only work for a short period of time. I can prove this. I LOVE to read. I am a fast reader. I would rather spend my days reading than doing pretty much anything else. So when I was offered a job on campus working for disability services, reading books onto cassette tapes, I couldn't refuse. I could read and get PAID for it!!! :) I was reading books for an English class for a visually impaired student. These weren't boring textbooks, but books that I had already read or had been intending to read. Books that I would have normally found stimulating. But after the first few weeks, I found I couldn't even read for pleasure anymore. This job sucked all of the fun out of reading for me. Why? Because my originial motivation to read was intrinsic. I read because I loved it and found great relaxation and enjoyment in it. When my motivation to read became extrinsic, i.e. I was getting a paycheck for doing something that I once did for pure enjoyment, reading became a job, a hassle.
Anyway, as far as Zach is concerned, he is still on the honor roll, and is in no danger of being retained, but I am concerned because this lack of initiative on his part is rather sudden. I am not sure if this has to do with his going to middle school next year. I don't know why this would scare him because he is going to the middle school with all of his friends, and his sister will be there and he knows the kids that are there now because they were once in his elementary school. It isn't like he is going to a new school where he knows no one. I haven't had this problem with the girls because they each have a diagnosed learning disability and have to bust their butts to maintain honor roll status. Zach's main interest of late has been reading the Bible, namely Revelations, and he is intent on cracking the "Bible Code". For those who don't know, The Bible Code, a highly popular book, talks about the code in the Bible. It is all about statistics and matrixes and stringing the letters of a passage end to end, and taking letters that are equidistant and putting them in an invisible cylinder and lining the letters up in a matrix to form a word find of sorts. For instance, in a passage in Acts, the words twin towers, New York City, airplanes, dust and blood, September Eleventh, etc. all appear. The book was written well before 9/11, The man who wrote the book, Michal Drosnin, also predicted, using his code, the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin and tried to warn him a year before his assassination. The theory is highly skeptical but definitely ironic and extremely coincidental and fun if you like doing word finds.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Coming out of the coma...
I spent almost the entire day yesterday in bed. By this morning, I knew I had to get up and get moving. I did my usual Sunday morning ritual and then came home and cleaned my bedroom. I took a nice hot bath and do feel much better than yesterday and the day before. My sinuses are not bothering me much today. My ears are still a little plugged, though. I think it might just be the rain that is helping my allergies. The pollen can't do much when it is waterlogged, I think.
Church tonight. I'm looking forward to it. I've been missing the morning service because either A: Brian is in town and doesn't leave until Sunday morning or B: I've been sick or up late and 8 AM has been just TOO early for me lately. I've been waking up every morning at 5 AM and then falling back to sleep and then getting up around 9:30-10:30 and feeling groggy the rest of the day. What I need to do the next time this happens is just get out of bed at 5 when I wake up, drag my ass thru my day, and stay up until it is a reasonable hour to fall asleep for the night. I'd like to not continue waking up at 5 AM. Starting mid-week this week I will be returning to my 8 AM shift at work and this will continue all summer, so maybe 5 AM won't seem so early after all. I am ready for a nap right now, but I know better.
It is supposed to rain all week. Good news for my allergies! Not so good news for my mood, but tanning, even artificial, helps a lot with that. My hair likes to get frizzy in the rain but I still welcome the respite from my dreaded allergies.
Current Mood: better
Current Music: Back in Black......ACDC
Church tonight. I'm looking forward to it. I've been missing the morning service because either A: Brian is in town and doesn't leave until Sunday morning or B: I've been sick or up late and 8 AM has been just TOO early for me lately. I've been waking up every morning at 5 AM and then falling back to sleep and then getting up around 9:30-10:30 and feeling groggy the rest of the day. What I need to do the next time this happens is just get out of bed at 5 when I wake up, drag my ass thru my day, and stay up until it is a reasonable hour to fall asleep for the night. I'd like to not continue waking up at 5 AM. Starting mid-week this week I will be returning to my 8 AM shift at work and this will continue all summer, so maybe 5 AM won't seem so early after all. I am ready for a nap right now, but I know better.
It is supposed to rain all week. Good news for my allergies! Not so good news for my mood, but tanning, even artificial, helps a lot with that. My hair likes to get frizzy in the rain but I still welcome the respite from my dreaded allergies.
Current Mood: better
Current Music: Back in Black......ACDC
Saturday, May 14, 2005
I hate allergies!!!
I feel like I am under water, my ears are so plugged. I was supposed to go yardsaling with the girls from work for toys and things for the kids at work and I am supposed to go to Carey's Home Interior party...I feel crappy. I think I am going to pick up around here and head back to bed.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Brian and his son Paul
BIKE WEEK is coming! We'll be taking Brian's new motorcycle down, but this is a pic of his old bike and his son. I am so excited! He also promised we can take the bike to the top of Mt. Washington. I have never done it and have heard it can be kind of scary! Can't wait!
Happy Birthday Zachary Tyler!!!
Zach and I are both feeling a bit under the weather today. Allergies for me and a bad cold, possibly allergies, for him, too. He is home from school Mad Libbing, playing cards, watching movies, reading, etc. He is supposed to be resting up for his birthday dinner tonight, but as I can attest, it is hard resting when the minute you lay down, your head stuffs up even worse, making it impossible to breathe. Whatever this is hasn't affected his asthma yet, so we're keeping our fingers crossed.
While I was in D.C., I got a good idea how bad my allergies would be this spring. D.C. and Virginia are about 3 weeks ahead of us in the spring foliage game and while I was there, my sinuses started bothering me. The minute we hit New Jersey/New York area, things went back to normal. They've been fine since I have been back except for the last two days. My driveway is all yellow from the pollen from my big maple tree out back, not to mention the freshly cut grass all thru the neighborhood. I only seem to have trouble the first week or two of actual SPRING, then my body just gets used to it.
My allergy medicine makes me drowsy, despite its claim not to. Actually, I don't think it is the medicine as much as it is the lack of restful sleep.
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Godsword
While I was in D.C., I got a good idea how bad my allergies would be this spring. D.C. and Virginia are about 3 weeks ahead of us in the spring foliage game and while I was there, my sinuses started bothering me. The minute we hit New Jersey/New York area, things went back to normal. They've been fine since I have been back except for the last two days. My driveway is all yellow from the pollen from my big maple tree out back, not to mention the freshly cut grass all thru the neighborhood. I only seem to have trouble the first week or two of actual SPRING, then my body just gets used to it.
My allergy medicine makes me drowsy, despite its claim not to. Actually, I don't think it is the medicine as much as it is the lack of restful sleep.
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Godsword
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
72 degrees Today!!!
Should be a perfect spring day today! I am going to sit outside in the real sun before heading to work. After the kids rest a bit, we'll be going back outside and I'll enjoy it some more.
The girls at work hope Erin is feeling better! :) They are glad we found someone that "fits" in. I am, too, because my students mean the world to me and I can be overprotective at times and I trust she will take great care of them.
Brian called last night and I miss him terribly. We were talking about what kind of puppy he should get, if he should even get one because of his schedule. His golden retriever mix had to be put to sleep last winter and he misses her. I want a purebred Golden retriever. He mentioned the dog I like the least...German shepard...or a toy poodle...I was like, Ummm, no. You get a toy poodle and I will have to break up with you now. I really really want another golden, but two dogs for me, without a significant other in the home, would be just too much, so I really really want Brian to get one. That way, when (if) we ever live together, I'll have my golden retriever!!! :)
He was asking lots of weird questions last night, like about wedding cakes and how much time in advance before the wedding they are prepared and where I see myself in 5 years, etc...
ANYWAY...time to go outside. Yesterday at work was perfect! Quiet and peaceful. This only happens like once every 3 months.
Current Mood: still happy-ish
Current Music: Life in the Fast Lane
The girls at work hope Erin is feeling better! :) They are glad we found someone that "fits" in. I am, too, because my students mean the world to me and I can be overprotective at times and I trust she will take great care of them.
Brian called last night and I miss him terribly. We were talking about what kind of puppy he should get, if he should even get one because of his schedule. His golden retriever mix had to be put to sleep last winter and he misses her. I want a purebred Golden retriever. He mentioned the dog I like the least...German shepard...or a toy poodle...I was like, Ummm, no. You get a toy poodle and I will have to break up with you now. I really really want another golden, but two dogs for me, without a significant other in the home, would be just too much, so I really really want Brian to get one. That way, when (if) we ever live together, I'll have my golden retriever!!! :)
He was asking lots of weird questions last night, like about wedding cakes and how much time in advance before the wedding they are prepared and where I see myself in 5 years, etc...
ANYWAY...time to go outside. Yesterday at work was perfect! Quiet and peaceful. This only happens like once every 3 months.
Current Mood: still happy-ish
Current Music: Life in the Fast Lane
Monday, May 09, 2005
House of Wax
I took the kids to the movies last night and we saw House of Wax. If you liked Texas Chainsaw Massacre or even the first couple of Jason movies before they got gay, you will like this movie. I figured it would be predictable, like most slasher films are, but I was in the mood for some good old fashioned blood and guts and scenes that make you jump. Even guessing who was going to die didn't ruin the originality of the ways in which the cast were tortured and/or killed. The special effects of the wax was fairly entertaining. A definite MUST HAVE for my DVD collection.
When we got home, I noticed that Brian had called, so I returned his call. We talked for about an hour. He was in his "Sunday night funk" but at least he called. Usually he just tries to get thru that all by himself. He'll keep himself busy this week and be back to normal by the weekend.
Zach's 11th birthday is Thursday. The kids and I will be going to supper at Bugaboo, like last year and the year before and the year before that...Bugaboo is Zach's favorite thing to do for his birthday. He likes the lameass birthday chant sung by various Bugaboo staff and the moose kissing part. Also the special dessert for his birthday, which he usually shares with his sisters and I. After appetizers, our meals and plenty of liquids, we are usually pretty full by the time the special dessert arrives, so one slice is usually MORE than plenty.
I don't have to work today until 1!!! Yahoo! I'm enjoying my downtime. This will be my last week closing with Jade. Erin will taking over my 1-5:30 shift. I'll be taking over Julie's 8-12:30 shift. I bought a ton of activity books and things for my preschooler's to do yesterday at the bookstore. I'll just photocopy them in the office so they can use the ones they like over again.
It is 10:30 and I am done tanning, getting my latte, blogging, doing errands, etc. Now I am going to clean up and then get ready for work. Brian said a few days this week it is supposed to get into the 70s and 80s...NICE!!! I am so looking forward to that, especially since I don't have to be at work until 1! Gives me a chance to sit outside and relax.
Current Mood: pretty peaceful
Current Music: the special cd mix the kids burned for me for Mother's Day. It is full of songs about how much they love me and a few comedy skits that Bob Marley does about his mother. Do my kids know me or what??? :)
When we got home, I noticed that Brian had called, so I returned his call. We talked for about an hour. He was in his "Sunday night funk" but at least he called. Usually he just tries to get thru that all by himself. He'll keep himself busy this week and be back to normal by the weekend.
Zach's 11th birthday is Thursday. The kids and I will be going to supper at Bugaboo, like last year and the year before and the year before that...Bugaboo is Zach's favorite thing to do for his birthday. He likes the lameass birthday chant sung by various Bugaboo staff and the moose kissing part. Also the special dessert for his birthday, which he usually shares with his sisters and I. After appetizers, our meals and plenty of liquids, we are usually pretty full by the time the special dessert arrives, so one slice is usually MORE than plenty.
I don't have to work today until 1!!! Yahoo! I'm enjoying my downtime. This will be my last week closing with Jade. Erin will taking over my 1-5:30 shift. I'll be taking over Julie's 8-12:30 shift. I bought a ton of activity books and things for my preschooler's to do yesterday at the bookstore. I'll just photocopy them in the office so they can use the ones they like over again.
It is 10:30 and I am done tanning, getting my latte, blogging, doing errands, etc. Now I am going to clean up and then get ready for work. Brian said a few days this week it is supposed to get into the 70s and 80s...NICE!!! I am so looking forward to that, especially since I don't have to be at work until 1! Gives me a chance to sit outside and relax.
Current Mood: pretty peaceful
Current Music: the special cd mix the kids burned for me for Mother's Day. It is full of songs about how much they love me and a few comedy skits that Bob Marley does about his mother. Do my kids know me or what??? :)
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Happy Mother's Day!!!
I've had a great Mother's Day. Brian came down last night and we spent a romantic evening and Sunday morning together. He took me to breakfast this morning and we just spent time together. He officially invited me to accompany him on his vacation. He and 9 of his friends are heading to Laconia, NH for Bike Week June 11-21st. I CANNOT wait!
I officially invited him to Julie's wedding June 25th. I told him that this is the kind of wedding that I will not attend without a date. All of my friends will be there with their significant others and that will not be a fun experience for me if I am there alone. He said he would be honored to attend this special event with me! AWWWWW!!!
He is coming down next weekend, too. He has to go to Portland for an appointment, but then he has to be back in Presque Isle for his daughter's boyfriend's college graduation. THEN he plans on coming back down to Bangor to be with me.
I had lunch at my mother's today and spent some time with her and my two brothers and my kids. I played cards with my 4 year old niece. She loves the game "I Win", the like of which means she always wins.
The most bizarre news of all is that AJ stopped by last night before Brian showed up. He asked how Brian and I were doing. I told him how much in love with Brian I am and how happy I am with him. It was very weird. I sat there looking at him thinking to myself, Could I kiss him again? Could I love him? The answer became abundantly clear that there is ZERO attraction to him at all! It was like spending time with my brother. It made me happy because I am 100% completely and utterly in love with Brian. When Brian walks into a room, I just want to rush to him and hug him and kiss him. I had no feeling to rush into AJ's arms. This was the first time I have seen him since we broke up and you know how it is if it isn't a messy break up, how you always wonder if you really did make the right choice. Well, I KNOW I made the right choice. AJ asked if I was going to tell Brian about our visit. OF COURSE! It is impossible for me to lie to Brian. I told Brian about it and we talked and he feels very confident in my feelings for him.
Anyway, I am off to the store. Zach has some early b-day money to spend.
I officially invited him to Julie's wedding June 25th. I told him that this is the kind of wedding that I will not attend without a date. All of my friends will be there with their significant others and that will not be a fun experience for me if I am there alone. He said he would be honored to attend this special event with me! AWWWWW!!!
He is coming down next weekend, too. He has to go to Portland for an appointment, but then he has to be back in Presque Isle for his daughter's boyfriend's college graduation. THEN he plans on coming back down to Bangor to be with me.
I had lunch at my mother's today and spent some time with her and my two brothers and my kids. I played cards with my 4 year old niece. She loves the game "I Win", the like of which means she always wins.
The most bizarre news of all is that AJ stopped by last night before Brian showed up. He asked how Brian and I were doing. I told him how much in love with Brian I am and how happy I am with him. It was very weird. I sat there looking at him thinking to myself, Could I kiss him again? Could I love him? The answer became abundantly clear that there is ZERO attraction to him at all! It was like spending time with my brother. It made me happy because I am 100% completely and utterly in love with Brian. When Brian walks into a room, I just want to rush to him and hug him and kiss him. I had no feeling to rush into AJ's arms. This was the first time I have seen him since we broke up and you know how it is if it isn't a messy break up, how you always wonder if you really did make the right choice. Well, I KNOW I made the right choice. AJ asked if I was going to tell Brian about our visit. OF COURSE! It is impossible for me to lie to Brian. I told Brian about it and we talked and he feels very confident in my feelings for him.
Anyway, I am off to the store. Zach has some early b-day money to spend.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Alexis's 4th Birthday
Today is my niece's birthday! I was so excited the day she was born. I've been shopping for her all morning. When I asked her what she wanted Aunt Jenn to buy her, she said, "Presents!" So I asked what kind of presents, only to get "Purple presents" as a reply!
When I got home from shopping, there was a beautiful flower bouquet sitting on my kitchen table. Happy Mother's Day! Love, Brian....so sweet!
I'm going to take the kids out to lunch and then we're headed to the bowling alley for Lexi's birthday party.
When I got home from shopping, there was a beautiful flower bouquet sitting on my kitchen table. Happy Mother's Day! Love, Brian....so sweet!
I'm going to take the kids out to lunch and then we're headed to the bowling alley for Lexi's birthday party.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Work
I am glad it is Friday. One of my preschooler's mothers came in today extremely upset. Supposedly she has been reported to DHS, and my student will be removed from her mother's care. This student has been removed from her mother's home once before and her mother never regained custody of her older daughter and son. The other preschool teacher and I have been with this student for awhile and firmly believe most of her behavior issues stem from this experience. This student's father is presently in prison, though he has visitation rights once a month, even though he remains incarcerated. The judge deemed him and his dwelling place fit for visits with a 3 year old little girl, yet the state feels that the mother is a bad influence. HUH! While she may not be up for any mother of the year awards, I do feel she is doing HER best. It might not be my best, but this child is clean upon arrival at school, has a healthy lunch packed, has medicine when she is sick, is emotionally supported by her mother when being dropped off and picked up, and is told constantly that she is loved, whether it is by her mother or her teachers.
So anyway, we won't know until Monday if this child will continue to be in our preschool or not. The whole situation makes me sad. The "smart" side of my brain says that DHS is looking out for the best interest of the child. My heart is saying this is very wrong and that this little girl loves her mother and I feel that aside from being physically, sexually, or emotionally abused, the best place for a child is with its parents, even if the state has to be involved in supervising the rearing of the child. Another part of me feels like telling the parent, "Look, having kids is SERIOUS business. It isn't a game, it isn't something you do part time. After bringing a baby into the world, your life changes. You have to make good choices for you and your child and if you don't, you must face the consequence of that decision."
If you have kids, hug them all a little tighter tonight.
So anyway, we won't know until Monday if this child will continue to be in our preschool or not. The whole situation makes me sad. The "smart" side of my brain says that DHS is looking out for the best interest of the child. My heart is saying this is very wrong and that this little girl loves her mother and I feel that aside from being physically, sexually, or emotionally abused, the best place for a child is with its parents, even if the state has to be involved in supervising the rearing of the child. Another part of me feels like telling the parent, "Look, having kids is SERIOUS business. It isn't a game, it isn't something you do part time. After bringing a baby into the world, your life changes. You have to make good choices for you and your child and if you don't, you must face the consequence of that decision."
If you have kids, hug them all a little tighter tonight.
FRIDAY!
It's Friday! Not that I have anything major planned. Brian called last night and said he might be down tonite. He mentioned coming to my niece Alexis's 4th birthday party tomorrow afternoon. Lexi is having a bowling party at Bangor-Brewer Bowling Lanes and Brian's uncle is Charlie Milan, who is the ower of said establishment. Plus Brian gets a kick out of Lex.
I bought 4 DVD's last night. Bridget Jones Part 2, Exorcist (The Beginning), The Terminal, Finding Neverland...the Exorcist sucks...so far, Finding Neverland, with Kate Winslet and Johnny Depp is my favorite of the four and I bought it for Kayla, who happens to LOVE Johnny Depp. Does it concern me that my 15 year old daughter likes a 40 year old actor? Nah. What concerns me more is that we have similar taste in men.
So last night, the kids and I hung out in my bedroom watching movies and then I talked with Brian for awhile. Mother's Day is Sunday. I bought my mother a very nice Wizard of Oz picture frame (it is her favorite movie) and it has a nice picture of the kids and I in it. I bought my preschoolers a lifesize puzzle, some fake jewelery, some Strawberry Shortcake lip gloss (each their own) and some new tools for the classroom. Tonight I will have to buy Lexi something for her birthday, even though I had to take out a small loan last Saturday night to fund the Circus excursion that I treated her to. She had to have EVERYTHING!!! But I couldn't say no to my little niece who happens to look a lot like me! My own kids don't even look like me.
Okie dokie...have to get ready for work. I have to go in early so I can get my check and deposit it at the bank. Next week my hours go back to normal! Can't wait!
I bought 4 DVD's last night. Bridget Jones Part 2, Exorcist (The Beginning), The Terminal, Finding Neverland...the Exorcist sucks...so far, Finding Neverland, with Kate Winslet and Johnny Depp is my favorite of the four and I bought it for Kayla, who happens to LOVE Johnny Depp. Does it concern me that my 15 year old daughter likes a 40 year old actor? Nah. What concerns me more is that we have similar taste in men.
So last night, the kids and I hung out in my bedroom watching movies and then I talked with Brian for awhile. Mother's Day is Sunday. I bought my mother a very nice Wizard of Oz picture frame (it is her favorite movie) and it has a nice picture of the kids and I in it. I bought my preschoolers a lifesize puzzle, some fake jewelery, some Strawberry Shortcake lip gloss (each their own) and some new tools for the classroom. Tonight I will have to buy Lexi something for her birthday, even though I had to take out a small loan last Saturday night to fund the Circus excursion that I treated her to. She had to have EVERYTHING!!! But I couldn't say no to my little niece who happens to look a lot like me! My own kids don't even look like me.
Okie dokie...have to get ready for work. I have to go in early so I can get my check and deposit it at the bank. Next week my hours go back to normal! Can't wait!
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
SOOOOOO, I wasn't prepared for all the girls at work to think Brian was so good looking. Kind of ticked me off. Of course, I think he is handsome, but I wasn't prepared for how territorial I got when Erica was like, "He's so cute. Does he have any brothers? Where did you find him?" I said they were running a special at Denny's, which is where I found him. We met at Bangor's Denny's on October 25th, 2003.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Cranky
I am still feeling cranky! Not like I could kill someone cranky, but generally negative about things. I am going into work early today. That will cheer me up. This actually worked out good because Julie gets done on the 13th of May and Erin can become the other preschool teacher. They offered me the full time position, but I want a summer and don't mind splitting the shift like Julie and I have been doing.
I am sure everyone will love Erin and I am sure she will love the job. It is a nice place to work. You can socialize if you're in the mood, and if not, you can just stay in your classroom and work on extra projects with the kids. I try to keep a nice balance. Julie was definitely more of a socializer than I am. I prefer to hang out with my students, but I found that I need some adult time too, so I peek into Erica or Carey's room occasionally and trade funny stories about the kids or catch up on each other's relationship gossip.
I SO fell in the road in front of Ampersand's this morning! Not the little stumble, oh someone might have seen kind of fall...no, this was a full out trip and almost catch myself only to trip again and again until I have now built up enough momentum to completely rip up skin on my palm and knee kind of fall. You know the fall, Lynette! :) AND everyone saw! It was a sunny morning so obviously there were people milling around the outside of Ampersand's. They all saw. IN THE MIDDLE of the road, with a car barreling down on me, only to have to slow down so I could limp to the curb. This is what happens if I wait until 9 for my latte.
I am hoping today will only improve! I know better than to say things couldn't get worse.
It is only supposed to be in the fifties this week. I am really looking forward to some 70 degree days. I am buying a new tent and a new pool and some new lawn furniture. I want an outside fireplace. They look nice and aren't terribly expensive. The kids love campfires and this is definitely safer.
I have to leave for work in about 15 minutes. So, first thing, I'll go in and cover Erica's room, so she can have break, which means I'll have the babies for an hour. Then I'll finish my preschoolers lunchtime and get them all napping and cover Carey's lunch break. Carey will be back by 2 and Jessy will leave. We'll have to shuffle the kids a bit until Erin comes in, but things should work out fine. The rest of the week will be smoother.
Current Mood: cranky and sore from my fall
Current Music: You and Me..........Lifehouse
I am sure everyone will love Erin and I am sure she will love the job. It is a nice place to work. You can socialize if you're in the mood, and if not, you can just stay in your classroom and work on extra projects with the kids. I try to keep a nice balance. Julie was definitely more of a socializer than I am. I prefer to hang out with my students, but I found that I need some adult time too, so I peek into Erica or Carey's room occasionally and trade funny stories about the kids or catch up on each other's relationship gossip.
I SO fell in the road in front of Ampersand's this morning! Not the little stumble, oh someone might have seen kind of fall...no, this was a full out trip and almost catch myself only to trip again and again until I have now built up enough momentum to completely rip up skin on my palm and knee kind of fall. You know the fall, Lynette! :) AND everyone saw! It was a sunny morning so obviously there were people milling around the outside of Ampersand's. They all saw. IN THE MIDDLE of the road, with a car barreling down on me, only to have to slow down so I could limp to the curb. This is what happens if I wait until 9 for my latte.
I am hoping today will only improve! I know better than to say things couldn't get worse.
It is only supposed to be in the fifties this week. I am really looking forward to some 70 degree days. I am buying a new tent and a new pool and some new lawn furniture. I want an outside fireplace. They look nice and aren't terribly expensive. The kids love campfires and this is definitely safer.
I have to leave for work in about 15 minutes. So, first thing, I'll go in and cover Erica's room, so she can have break, which means I'll have the babies for an hour. Then I'll finish my preschoolers lunchtime and get them all napping and cover Carey's lunch break. Carey will be back by 2 and Jessy will leave. We'll have to shuffle the kids a bit until Erin comes in, but things should work out fine. The rest of the week will be smoother.
Current Mood: cranky and sore from my fall
Current Music: You and Me..........Lifehouse
Monday, May 02, 2005
Nice Weather
This is definitely a nice way to wake up in the morning. I wish the weather was like this all the time. I bought a new bathing suit yesterday. Much like my black bikini, but this one is brown. Looks good with my tan. I took my niece and nephew to the circus Saturday night. Lexi had a great time. I went to bed around 11 PM, slept until about 9:30...got my latte, went tanning, came home and watched White Noise, took a nap, brought my nephew home, went back to bed to watch Constantine, fell back to sleep, and woke up to have a snack and watch A Shark Tale, then Zach and I watched Black Sheep and I fell asleep until morning. Needless to say, I am glad to have some sun in my life. All that rain made me very sleepy yesterdayl.
I would really like to be back in Virginia right now. I could move there in a second. If I didn't have this job lined up, that is definitely where I would be headed. I am so tired of Bangor. I am pretty much tired of Maine. I am tired of most of the people in Maine.
Anyway, Brian has been sick and he has been having major DSL issues and most of his office work is done on the computer and online, so he has been a bit tense. That is his excuse anyway. Well, I am going tanning, then maybe In will sit outside for a little while.
I would really like to be back in Virginia right now. I could move there in a second. If I didn't have this job lined up, that is definitely where I would be headed. I am so tired of Bangor. I am pretty much tired of Maine. I am tired of most of the people in Maine.
Anyway, Brian has been sick and he has been having major DSL issues and most of his office work is done on the computer and online, so he has been a bit tense. That is his excuse anyway. Well, I am going tanning, then maybe In will sit outside for a little while.
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