*keeps fingers crossed*
Sunday, December 31, 2006
New Car
Keep me in your prayers! My step-dad and I are going to look at that Volvo tomorrow. Hopefully everything goes well and I have a new car tomorrow! I'm leaving it up to the Lord, but I've had ENOUGH with mine! I've had trouble with a ground wire and it is just a pain. It is probably a quick fix, but I don't want the hassle anymore! I am buying an SUV of some sort, either a Jeep or the like, maybe even a van, in February. Kayla starts driver's ed in two weeks and she'll have her license in June. Hayley takes drivers ed in June and will have her license in December. So we're going to need at least two vehicles on the road.
I am giving Kayla the Volvo when she gets her license. They are one of the safest vehicles on the road. She wants a Jetta, as in a brand new Jetta, like my friend Chelsea's, but I've told her she will not be having a new car payment until she's had her license for at least a year. For her high school graduation, maybe the new Jetta. Her dad and I'll make the first few payments for her and a nice down payment, and then she'll take over the rest. This will build her credit and provide reliable transportation for her first year at college. I can not believe Kayla will be 17 in February! She will be 18 next year. An adult, going to college, driving a Jetta! She's turned out rather nice for a girl with a mom who got pregnant at 17! She's beautiful and mature and kind-hearted. She goes to church. She's college-bound and I couldn't be any more proud of her than I am already! She's only been drinking twice and tried drugs once. She's never had sex. In the big scheme of things, when you hear about all of the teenage horror stories, I'm very lucky. Compared to what I was doing at her age, Kayla is a saint!
Allison is inheriting my Ford. She has a couple of hundred dollars saved up to fix the wire and give it a good tune-up. Her dad owns an antique auto business. He restores antique autos for people. Her brother owns a motorcycle chop-shop...needless to say, they are both very mechanically inclined and can fix the car up enough for Allison to get a few more miles out of her. Even if it needed a new engine, I found one for $500. Her brother could put it in for her and that is cheaper than a new car. She has no extra cash and bad credit. She could do worse than a free 1998 Ford Taurus. Plus I'll be happy knowing my baby has a good home! :) That car is the bomb! 241,000 miles! I haven't had a car payment in 4 years! I've had to only put a minimum amout of money into it. This summer, I was STILL getting 30 miles to the gallon! I think Ford should give me a new one!
Anyway...please keep me in your prayers. This Volvo has leather heated seats and many other amneties. My Ford was fully loaded and I'd hate to have to downscale on those things. Like power windows, seats and locks, cd player, heated door mirrors, convenient drink holders, fantastic heater, and great air conditioner, AND CRUISE CONTROL (that one is NOT negotible!), etc.
I'm ringing in the New Year with my girls watching The OC. We decided against going to the New Year's Eve party at church tonight. I don't want to be out fighting with my car at midnight and I don't need to be on the road with other drunk drivers. I'm still not feeling so great. Zach was in the emergency room this morning. He's been fighting a cold or so we thought. Mike took him in this morning because he couldn't talk and his poor little throat is all swollen. His strep was negative but the doctors put him on penicilin anyway and if he gets strep again this year, he'll have to have his tonsils out. :( He's still flying home on Tuesday as long as he's feeling well. Allison went to the emergency last night, too! She has bronchitis now. Hopefully by next week at this time, we're all healthy and driving to church in a new car! :)
Happy New Year everyone!
Grace and Peace,
Jenn
I am giving Kayla the Volvo when she gets her license. They are one of the safest vehicles on the road. She wants a Jetta, as in a brand new Jetta, like my friend Chelsea's, but I've told her she will not be having a new car payment until she's had her license for at least a year. For her high school graduation, maybe the new Jetta. Her dad and I'll make the first few payments for her and a nice down payment, and then she'll take over the rest. This will build her credit and provide reliable transportation for her first year at college. I can not believe Kayla will be 17 in February! She will be 18 next year. An adult, going to college, driving a Jetta! She's turned out rather nice for a girl with a mom who got pregnant at 17! She's beautiful and mature and kind-hearted. She goes to church. She's college-bound and I couldn't be any more proud of her than I am already! She's only been drinking twice and tried drugs once. She's never had sex. In the big scheme of things, when you hear about all of the teenage horror stories, I'm very lucky. Compared to what I was doing at her age, Kayla is a saint!
Allison is inheriting my Ford. She has a couple of hundred dollars saved up to fix the wire and give it a good tune-up. Her dad owns an antique auto business. He restores antique autos for people. Her brother owns a motorcycle chop-shop...needless to say, they are both very mechanically inclined and can fix the car up enough for Allison to get a few more miles out of her. Even if it needed a new engine, I found one for $500. Her brother could put it in for her and that is cheaper than a new car. She has no extra cash and bad credit. She could do worse than a free 1998 Ford Taurus. Plus I'll be happy knowing my baby has a good home! :) That car is the bomb! 241,000 miles! I haven't had a car payment in 4 years! I've had to only put a minimum amout of money into it. This summer, I was STILL getting 30 miles to the gallon! I think Ford should give me a new one!
Anyway...please keep me in your prayers. This Volvo has leather heated seats and many other amneties. My Ford was fully loaded and I'd hate to have to downscale on those things. Like power windows, seats and locks, cd player, heated door mirrors, convenient drink holders, fantastic heater, and great air conditioner, AND CRUISE CONTROL (that one is NOT negotible!), etc.
I'm ringing in the New Year with my girls watching The OC. We decided against going to the New Year's Eve party at church tonight. I don't want to be out fighting with my car at midnight and I don't need to be on the road with other drunk drivers. I'm still not feeling so great. Zach was in the emergency room this morning. He's been fighting a cold or so we thought. Mike took him in this morning because he couldn't talk and his poor little throat is all swollen. His strep was negative but the doctors put him on penicilin anyway and if he gets strep again this year, he'll have to have his tonsils out. :( He's still flying home on Tuesday as long as he's feeling well. Allison went to the emergency last night, too! She has bronchitis now. Hopefully by next week at this time, we're all healthy and driving to church in a new car! :)
Happy New Year everyone!
Grace and Peace,
Jenn
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Saturday Night
My head is pounding. My fever is back! UGH! I just wish it would stop already!
I talked with Allison on the phone for awhile. We talked alot about our upcoming road trip. We're headed west (the Grand Canyon, among other amazing spots) and then on to California. Up the west coast and into Oregon! There we can visit with Teresa and Tanya!!! :) Then on to Washington state and back across America. We want to go to the Mall of America. Niagra. Other fun spots. We're not spending too much time in any one spot. We're bringing the girls and the dog, the camera and the laptop, our journals and Bibles, a tent and lots and lots of fresh drinking water!!! This will be a trip of a lifetime and I'm glad to be spending it with my daughters and my best friend. I need this trip!
The major rules of the trip are to have no rules. We know the couple of big sights that we want to see, but other than that, we're going to just let the trip lead itself. We're going to try to tent as much as possible, but I'll make sure we get a room here and there to really rest up and take nice hot showers and so I can BLOG and post pics!
Well, I think my head is going to explode...time for some drugs. I'll talk to you all tomorrow!!!
I talked with Allison on the phone for awhile. We talked alot about our upcoming road trip. We're headed west (the Grand Canyon, among other amazing spots) and then on to California. Up the west coast and into Oregon! There we can visit with Teresa and Tanya!!! :) Then on to Washington state and back across America. We want to go to the Mall of America. Niagra. Other fun spots. We're not spending too much time in any one spot. We're bringing the girls and the dog, the camera and the laptop, our journals and Bibles, a tent and lots and lots of fresh drinking water!!! This will be a trip of a lifetime and I'm glad to be spending it with my daughters and my best friend. I need this trip!
The major rules of the trip are to have no rules. We know the couple of big sights that we want to see, but other than that, we're going to just let the trip lead itself. We're going to try to tent as much as possible, but I'll make sure we get a room here and there to really rest up and take nice hot showers and so I can BLOG and post pics!
Well, I think my head is going to explode...time for some drugs. I'll talk to you all tomorrow!!!
It's Snowing!!! :)
Not a lot of snow. Just a little dusting. It'll all switch to rain later in the week but it is nice and cozy for today!
Desaraye came over and we ran a few errands and went to Ampersand's and the lunch at Wendy's. After I bought some movies...Nacho Libre, Monster House, An American Haunting and The Lake House. The only one I've already seen is The Lake House. I love Sandra Bullock and I own all of her movies. Desaraye also let me borrow Mozart and the Whale. I also got some books at Ampersand's. They have a used book section and you can donate books or buy them greatly reduced...like a buck for a hardcover. I got At Weddings and Wakes bt Alice McDermott, Tell Me Your Dreams by Sidney Sheldon, Target Underwear and a Vera Wang Gown...Notes from a Single Girl's Closet by Adena Halpern and finally Nicholas and Alexandra by Robert K. Massie.
Desaraye and I are going to Portland Tuesday night to pick up Zach at the airport. He'll be excited to have Tajin pick him up there! He won't be expecting them to be with me!!! I miss my baby! I miss my Hayley, too! She's been at my brother's all week. The only two here have been Shannon and Kayla.
We all slept in until noon today! I even went to bed last night at a reasonable hour! I think I needed the sleep! I woke up feeling really good, although right now, I am coughing again. My first coughing fit of the day! Not too bad.
Okay...I have movies to watch and reading to do. I haven't spent a whole day watching movies in a long time! I used to do it all the time!
Desaraye came over and we ran a few errands and went to Ampersand's and the lunch at Wendy's. After I bought some movies...Nacho Libre, Monster House, An American Haunting and The Lake House. The only one I've already seen is The Lake House. I love Sandra Bullock and I own all of her movies. Desaraye also let me borrow Mozart and the Whale. I also got some books at Ampersand's. They have a used book section and you can donate books or buy them greatly reduced...like a buck for a hardcover. I got At Weddings and Wakes bt Alice McDermott, Tell Me Your Dreams by Sidney Sheldon, Target Underwear and a Vera Wang Gown...Notes from a Single Girl's Closet by Adena Halpern and finally Nicholas and Alexandra by Robert K. Massie.
Desaraye and I are going to Portland Tuesday night to pick up Zach at the airport. He'll be excited to have Tajin pick him up there! He won't be expecting them to be with me!!! I miss my baby! I miss my Hayley, too! She's been at my brother's all week. The only two here have been Shannon and Kayla.
We all slept in until noon today! I even went to bed last night at a reasonable hour! I think I needed the sleep! I woke up feeling really good, although right now, I am coughing again. My first coughing fit of the day! Not too bad.
Okay...I have movies to watch and reading to do. I haven't spent a whole day watching movies in a long time! I used to do it all the time!
Prayer Update Number 5
The newest update from Mindy...
Its so hard to post the "downs"...she's just given us so many "ups" to hang on to.
My mom just called from the hospital and explained to me that Hailey had a pretty rough night. She's been on the ventilator this whole time but she has been "triggering" her own breaths since Christmas night. She quit doing this last night. As of this morning, she does off and on from what I understand.
One doctor came in and looked at the most recent Xray of her lungs and told my sister how bad it looked.....FOLLOWED by ANOTHER doctor who told her that the Xrays looked good...soooo???????What can we do? Just wait and pray.
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD"
Its so hard to post the "downs"...she's just given us so many "ups" to hang on to.
My mom just called from the hospital and explained to me that Hailey had a pretty rough night. She's been on the ventilator this whole time but she has been "triggering" her own breaths since Christmas night. She quit doing this last night. As of this morning, she does off and on from what I understand.
One doctor came in and looked at the most recent Xray of her lungs and told my sister how bad it looked.....FOLLOWED by ANOTHER doctor who told her that the Xrays looked good...soooo???????What can we do? Just wait and pray.
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD"
Friday, December 29, 2006
I Hate the Pneumonia
Know what bugs me? When I read other people's blogs and they write about LATTES! Like they own the market on them or something, when we all know that it is I who is the supreme double Irish cream latte in a tall cup with skim milk market owner!!! I also own the market on Jack Daniels my friends...don't even go there!
I'm having one of my coughing fits while trying to type. Yay!!! I'm multi-tasking again!
I can't believe it is only 5:30 PM. This day is dragging on. My shower went well this afternoon. Well in the sense that I didn't pass out, crack my head open or get locked in! Because we all know that most household accidents happen in the bathroom! I did have to sit down for a minute to catch my breath and to stop the shower from spinning like a sprinkler. I was like, "Whoa! I need to sit down." So I did. That's right. Whoa.
People keep turning around in my driveway tonight. LEAVE ME ALONE! It totally freaks my dog out. It then ticks me off. She has enough to handle with the mailman, and occasional drop in friends, family and my various children coming and going all day. AND DON'T stand at the door and look in at her and talk to her through the glass. It freaks her out and it then ticks me off! Yeah, basically I want to spend the winter in a secluded camp with just a fireplace and lots of books and tea, with my dog and my kids. Snow would be nice. Snowshoes, too. X-country skis. My laptop, of course, so I can blog. Lots of Nyquil, Dayquil and TheraFlu...I want to try some of that warming TheraFlu stuff...I have been having horrible chills today and my hands are freezing! And lots of birdseed...with a big picture window...so I can string up the seed and watch the squirrels go nuts. So I have a sadistic streak...only when I am sick.
Last night, I was thinking about the first person that discovered that birds could talk. Can you imagine THAT? Sitting alone in the Amazon, trying to mediate, with the birds and the bees going nutso, and you yell, "Shut the F888 up!" And then you hear, "F888! F888! F888!" I think what got me thinking about it was I think I fell asleep last night watching some show about animals that talk and there was a woman and her parrot and they were talking to Jane Goodall...I think this to be true...though I am not entirely sure, isn't Jane Goodall dead?...I could have made this up during my hallucinating feverish stupor I found myself in last night...but methinks it really happened. Anyway...there was something important I was going to tell you all about that, but now I can't remember.
You know, I really love the word superfluous. Why? I do not know.
I'm having one of my coughing fits while trying to type. Yay!!! I'm multi-tasking again!
I can't believe it is only 5:30 PM. This day is dragging on. My shower went well this afternoon. Well in the sense that I didn't pass out, crack my head open or get locked in! Because we all know that most household accidents happen in the bathroom! I did have to sit down for a minute to catch my breath and to stop the shower from spinning like a sprinkler. I was like, "Whoa! I need to sit down." So I did. That's right. Whoa.
People keep turning around in my driveway tonight. LEAVE ME ALONE! It totally freaks my dog out. It then ticks me off. She has enough to handle with the mailman, and occasional drop in friends, family and my various children coming and going all day. AND DON'T stand at the door and look in at her and talk to her through the glass. It freaks her out and it then ticks me off! Yeah, basically I want to spend the winter in a secluded camp with just a fireplace and lots of books and tea, with my dog and my kids. Snow would be nice. Snowshoes, too. X-country skis. My laptop, of course, so I can blog. Lots of Nyquil, Dayquil and TheraFlu...I want to try some of that warming TheraFlu stuff...I have been having horrible chills today and my hands are freezing! And lots of birdseed...with a big picture window...so I can string up the seed and watch the squirrels go nuts. So I have a sadistic streak...only when I am sick.
Last night, I was thinking about the first person that discovered that birds could talk. Can you imagine THAT? Sitting alone in the Amazon, trying to mediate, with the birds and the bees going nutso, and you yell, "Shut the F888 up!" And then you hear, "F888! F888! F888!" I think what got me thinking about it was I think I fell asleep last night watching some show about animals that talk and there was a woman and her parrot and they were talking to Jane Goodall...I think this to be true...though I am not entirely sure, isn't Jane Goodall dead?...I could have made this up during my hallucinating feverish stupor I found myself in last night...but methinks it really happened. Anyway...there was something important I was going to tell you all about that, but now I can't remember.
You know, I really love the word superfluous. Why? I do not know.
Let the Countdown Begin...
YALL Know the DRILL!
9,8,7,6,5,4,3,3,2,1
9 LASTS...:
Last dollar spent:: I haven't spent my last dollar, but the last dollar spent was on food.
Last cigarette:: don't smoke!
Last beverage:: coffee
Last movie:: It's a Wonderful Life
Last phone call:: Tim
Last song played:: Fire Down Below.........Bob Seger
Last bubble bath:: going to take one right now, after I stop getting bothered with other people's surveys!!!
Last thing you ate:: chocolate cake and nachos
8 HAVE YOU EVERS...
Have you ever dated a best friend:: yes
Have you ever skinny dipped:: but of course
Have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it:: yes
Have you ever lost someone you loved:: yes
Have you ever been dumped:: yes
Have you ever been drunk and threw up:: Bike Week Laconia 2005
Have you ever run away:: one Easter weekend back in 1989
7 PLACES YOU'VE BEEN TO:
1.: Boston
2.: NYC
3.: Philly
4.: Florida
5.: California
6.: Mexico
7.: the entire East Coast
6 THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY: (in no particular order...)
1.: woke up
2.: read
3.: peed
4.: peed again
5.: took the dog pee
6.: drank coffee
5 OF YOUR FAVIES (in no particular order...):
1.: Jesus
2.: my kids
3.: friends
4.: books/music
5.: COFFEE
4 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL Anything
1.: Brian
2.: Larry
3.: Allison
4.: Jesus
3 THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SMILE:
1.: My kids, my Bailey, Sierra
2.: a great song
3.: hearing God when I pray
2 THINGS U WANNA DO BEFORE U DIE:
1.: Marry Brian
2.: get my motorcycle license
1 THINK YOU CANNOT LIVE W/OUT:
#1 Thing:: God
9,8,7,6,5,4,3,3,2,1
9 LASTS...:
Last dollar spent:: I haven't spent my last dollar, but the last dollar spent was on food.
Last cigarette:: don't smoke!
Last beverage:: coffee
Last movie:: It's a Wonderful Life
Last phone call:: Tim
Last song played:: Fire Down Below.........Bob Seger
Last bubble bath:: going to take one right now, after I stop getting bothered with other people's surveys!!!
Last thing you ate:: chocolate cake and nachos
8 HAVE YOU EVERS...
Have you ever dated a best friend:: yes
Have you ever skinny dipped:: but of course
Have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it:: yes
Have you ever lost someone you loved:: yes
Have you ever been dumped:: yes
Have you ever been drunk and threw up:: Bike Week Laconia 2005
Have you ever run away:: one Easter weekend back in 1989
7 PLACES YOU'VE BEEN TO:
1.: Boston
2.: NYC
3.: Philly
4.: Florida
5.: California
6.: Mexico
7.: the entire East Coast
6 THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY: (in no particular order...)
1.: woke up
2.: read
3.: peed
4.: peed again
5.: took the dog pee
6.: drank coffee
5 OF YOUR FAVIES (in no particular order...):
1.: Jesus
2.: my kids
3.: friends
4.: books/music
5.: COFFEE
4 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL Anything
1.: Brian
2.: Larry
3.: Allison
4.: Jesus
3 THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SMILE:
1.: My kids, my Bailey, Sierra
2.: a great song
3.: hearing God when I pray
2 THINGS U WANNA DO BEFORE U DIE:
1.: Marry Brian
2.: get my motorcycle license
1 THINK YOU CANNOT LIVE W/OUT:
#1 Thing:: God
Soooooo...
...that is good news about Hailey. The doctors still don't seem very hopeful about any of it, but I think it is a very GOOD sign if Hailey is cognitive enough to answer questions. I know everyone is anxious to find out some answers...like what caused this, will it happen again, when will she start breathing on her own again, how much brain function will she have, etc. The last 72 hours were spent just keeping her alive. She's outlived the doctors' expectations. I pray she continues to prove them wrong!
I wish I was feeling better. I took a morning nap. I think I am going to take a nice bath and maybe that will perk me up. I only have to pay my insurance today. I am not doing anything else but resting. If I do too much, I start coughing.
I'm glad I am getting my sickness over with now, while there is no snow on the ground. I would hate having to sit out while everyone else goes skiing!
So I am looking forward to New Year's Eve. Hopefully I will be feeling better! I want to spend tomorrow resting and reading. The kids want to go shopping at some point this weekend, so probably tomorrow night sometime. Who knows. Maybe we will. Maybe I won't want to get off the couch.
UGH! I need to go take a shower. I don't want to get moving. My body hurts. I had a dream about Bailey last night. She was with Paola, Rebecca's mom, and they stopped by so I could give Bailey her birthday presents, then she started crying because she wanted to stay with me...anyway, it was nice to give her hugs and kisses and to wish her a happy birthday, even if I dreamed it! :) You were also in my dream, Will...crawling across the floor on your back, playing air guitar! Bailey was looking at me like, "Who IS this freak?" What can I say? I had a slice of chocolate cake before I went to bed and some nachos and I have been running a fever!
I wish I was feeling better. I took a morning nap. I think I am going to take a nice bath and maybe that will perk me up. I only have to pay my insurance today. I am not doing anything else but resting. If I do too much, I start coughing.
I'm glad I am getting my sickness over with now, while there is no snow on the ground. I would hate having to sit out while everyone else goes skiing!
So I am looking forward to New Year's Eve. Hopefully I will be feeling better! I want to spend tomorrow resting and reading. The kids want to go shopping at some point this weekend, so probably tomorrow night sometime. Who knows. Maybe we will. Maybe I won't want to get off the couch.
UGH! I need to go take a shower. I don't want to get moving. My body hurts. I had a dream about Bailey last night. She was with Paola, Rebecca's mom, and they stopped by so I could give Bailey her birthday presents, then she started crying because she wanted to stay with me...anyway, it was nice to give her hugs and kisses and to wish her a happy birthday, even if I dreamed it! :) You were also in my dream, Will...crawling across the floor on your back, playing air guitar! Bailey was looking at me like, "Who IS this freak?" What can I say? I had a slice of chocolate cake before I went to bed and some nachos and I have been running a fever!
Prayer Update Number 4
Another good update from Aunt Mindy last night...
"Hey guys...we just got in from the hospital....and guess what??...we breezed RIGHT through the day without ANY hiccups!! You have NO idea how much I was DREADING this day (end of the 72hr period) but God just held us by the hand and walked us through it.....whew!!
So now that the 72 hour period is over with...I believe they are planning on starting some tests tomorrow...FINALLY=) So we should be getting some answers soon!!
Everyone is doing really good right now. I think my dad was the only one still crying all day today. If you guys would lift him up too-he's really blaming himself for this...when REALLY if it weren't for HIM...well, THANK GOD he was there with her to do CPR...
OH OH OH!!...tonight when the nurse came in to brush her teeth (????they just started doing that????) she was just talking to her like she always does and she said "Hailey, does it taste yummy?!?!" And Hailey shook her head NO!!! My mom was in the rm with her---she said it was a loud and clear shake of the head!!! (as opposed to a subtle movement!!)...YAY!!!
I say screw what the doctors are saying...HAILEY herself gives us SOOO MUCH HOPE every single day!!!!! I just can't wait for these tests to start so we can start having some questions answered!!
I CANNOT THANK EVERYONE ENOUGH.....oh my gosh...it's just been.........(speechless) Thank you guys I love you all so much!! We are just PRAISING God right now and giving Him ALL of the glory=)"
"Hey guys...we just got in from the hospital....and guess what??...we breezed RIGHT through the day without ANY hiccups!! You have NO idea how much I was DREADING this day (end of the 72hr period) but God just held us by the hand and walked us through it.....whew!!
So now that the 72 hour period is over with...I believe they are planning on starting some tests tomorrow...FINALLY=) So we should be getting some answers soon!!
Everyone is doing really good right now. I think my dad was the only one still crying all day today. If you guys would lift him up too-he's really blaming himself for this...when REALLY if it weren't for HIM...well, THANK GOD he was there with her to do CPR...
OH OH OH!!...tonight when the nurse came in to brush her teeth (????they just started doing that????) she was just talking to her like she always does and she said "Hailey, does it taste yummy?!?!" And Hailey shook her head NO!!! My mom was in the rm with her---she said it was a loud and clear shake of the head!!! (as opposed to a subtle movement!!)...YAY!!!
I say screw what the doctors are saying...HAILEY herself gives us SOOO MUCH HOPE every single day!!!!! I just can't wait for these tests to start so we can start having some questions answered!!
I CANNOT THANK EVERYONE ENOUGH.....oh my gosh...it's just been.........(speechless) Thank you guys I love you all so much!! We are just PRAISING God right now and giving Him ALL of the glory=)"
December 29, 2006
This one isn't an "official" update...but Mindy sent me out an email and she said that they had a really good day yesterday and that she was so very thankful for all of the prayers! :)
Today is my niece Gracie's birthday. She is one today! This year went by very fast!
I'm not feeling so great today. I took today off from work. I worked last night but all I did was cough the whole time after getting there. My lungs ache. I'm not sure it is my lungs as much as it is the muscles all around my lungs from all the coughing. It seems to be loosening up some this morning.
Anyway...I'm sure I'll be on the mend soon.
Today is my niece Gracie's birthday. She is one today! This year went by very fast!
I'm not feeling so great today. I took today off from work. I worked last night but all I did was cough the whole time after getting there. My lungs ache. I'm not sure it is my lungs as much as it is the muscles all around my lungs from all the coughing. It seems to be loosening up some this morning.
Anyway...I'm sure I'll be on the mend soon.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Donald Trump is a Douche!
It's times like this that one finds it particularly difficult to grasp why an innocent life is on the line when there are so many more worthy of death...
People I'd like to see disappear forever:
Rush Limbaugh...someone please tell me this fat ass of a man did NOT say that Michael J. Fox has been faking his Parkinson's disease. Please let that be a fallacy...even if it is, he needs to disappear anyway. Why? Because I don't like him and I count.
Donald Trump...Rosie made an intelligent remark about not letting Trump be the "moral compass for 20 year olds." His rebuttal? "Rosie is ugly. Rosie is a loser. She's always been a loser." Ummmm-k! She's the loser? That is the best he can come up with? No, he followed that with "I'll sue her." Why? For having an opinion? For voicing an opinion? I'd like to see that one fly in court. PLEEEEEASE! She doesn't have to pay people to sleep with her! His lovely wife is ONLY with him for his money. I'm sorry, but there isn't enough money in the world to make the pain of waking up to his ugly face and bald head go away! Not for me anyway. I couldn't let him F*** me without a pained expression on my face and without me saying, "Yuck, yuck yuck!" Trump is a douche. He was always a douche and he will always BE a douche. And you know what? Rosie's not stupid. A monkey could figure a jackass like him out. I'm not stupid. Go ahead and try to tell me I am, baldman. It's alright, though...you're old. Unfortunately for you, Rosie will outlive you!
Tom Cruise...(sorry Rosie)...Run...I said RUN to the nearest exit and just disappear! You bore me!
OJ...just typing those letters was a waste of energy.
I'm sure I'll think of more people. Right now, these are my top annoyances!
Don't forget...Donald Trump is a douche.
People I'd like to see disappear forever:
Rush Limbaugh...someone please tell me this fat ass of a man did NOT say that Michael J. Fox has been faking his Parkinson's disease. Please let that be a fallacy...even if it is, he needs to disappear anyway. Why? Because I don't like him and I count.
Donald Trump...Rosie made an intelligent remark about not letting Trump be the "moral compass for 20 year olds." His rebuttal? "Rosie is ugly. Rosie is a loser. She's always been a loser." Ummmm-k! She's the loser? That is the best he can come up with? No, he followed that with "I'll sue her." Why? For having an opinion? For voicing an opinion? I'd like to see that one fly in court. PLEEEEEASE! She doesn't have to pay people to sleep with her! His lovely wife is ONLY with him for his money. I'm sorry, but there isn't enough money in the world to make the pain of waking up to his ugly face and bald head go away! Not for me anyway. I couldn't let him F*** me without a pained expression on my face and without me saying, "Yuck, yuck yuck!" Trump is a douche. He was always a douche and he will always BE a douche. And you know what? Rosie's not stupid. A monkey could figure a jackass like him out. I'm not stupid. Go ahead and try to tell me I am, baldman. It's alright, though...you're old. Unfortunately for you, Rosie will outlive you!
Tom Cruise...(sorry Rosie)...Run...I said RUN to the nearest exit and just disappear! You bore me!
OJ...just typing those letters was a waste of energy.
I'm sure I'll think of more people. Right now, these are my top annoyances!
Don't forget...Donald Trump is a douche.
Prayer Update Number 3
An update from Aunt Mindy...
She said that there are no real changes at this time. Last night Hailey's lungs began to collapse, but they caught it in time and were able to put her on a different machine to keep them where they need to be. (thank the Lord!)
FYI - Mindy also said that they would not be leaving the hospital at all today.
When I hear more, I'll let you know. Thanks everyone!
She said that there are no real changes at this time. Last night Hailey's lungs began to collapse, but they caught it in time and were able to put her on a different machine to keep them where they need to be. (thank the Lord!)
FYI - Mindy also said that they would not be leaving the hospital at all today.
When I hear more, I'll let you know. Thanks everyone!
December 28, 2006
I slept much better last night. I don't have any new updates on Hailey yet, but I'll post those as soon as I get them. Today is going to be the most crucial day for her. The brain swelling should peak and then I would imagine a neurologist should be able to determine what kind of damage has been done. What is most important is that she starts breathing on her own again. She's attempting but the machines still have to do it for her.
I know this fear well. Zachie has asthma and while it has improved significantly in the last two years he still has his moments. The first time he was hospitalized was when he was about 7 months old. That time we were in the hospital for over a week. Even now, at his ripe old age of 12, having dealt with this illness his whole life, when he feels an attack coming on, he panics and reaches for me and hugs on tight. His inhaler usually buys us enough time to get to the emergency room, where they hook him up, sedate him and make him comfortable. What I can't imagine is being told that there is nothing they can do but wait it out and see if he makes it. Hailey's family's faith through all of this is so amazing and so encouraging.
So anyway, there isn't much else to do but wait and pray...and BLOG! :)
***************************************************
Happy Birthday Bailey-boo Elizabeth!!! I love you very very much...a million billion zillion hugs and kisses!
Tomorrow is Gracie's birthday.
I have to work tonight. I'm looking forward to that! We'll play some games and it'll get my mind off of missing Zach. My Hayley is at my brother's house right now, so I am missing her too!
**************************************************
Things I accomplished this year: correction...things the Lord has done for me this year...
* I read the entire Bible!
* I got baptized (different from the baby one I had after I was born)
* I saw Aerosmith in concert
* I spent every holiday this year with my children
* I made a ton of new friends!
* I let God love me.
* I said goodbye to my beloved best friend Kodi and said hello to my new best friend...my Sierra-love!
* I got my student loans in order (consolidated, organinzed, some paid off)
* I made up with Brian (sort of)
* I only became half-addicted to myspace.
* I blogged almost every day (and extra to cover days when I didn't blog). I've logged almost 30,000 page views since I started blogging 2 years ago! Has it really been that long? I'm excited to hear from new readers! My first year, I met Tanya and Teresa...my biggest fans! :) This year brought me Will.
* I've found so many old friends on myspace! It has been a total blast catching up with all of them! I LOVE the internet!
* I put a total of 240,000 miles on my 1998 Ford Taurus!!! Almost ready for a new one! Just a few short weeks!!!
***********************************************************
Things I want the Lord to do for me this year:
* Save Hailey's life.
* Keep my kids safe and healthy.
* Get Brian saved and walking with the Lord again.
* Get my butt out of bed...bright eyed and bushy tailed so I can spend some wonderful morning time meditating with Him. I spend each evening with Him, and enjoy that, but I want to be able to start my days like I end them!
* Make new Christian friends.
* Get back into my running schedule. I was running 3 miles every other day. What happened?
* Get new running sneakers.
* Get a new car.
* Pay off more of my loans.
* Figure out my next career move.
* Have a blast at the women's retreat!
* Have a blast in Boston on the 4th.
* Have a blast in Virginia Beach and then Disney World in April!
* Visit Zach this summer in Virginia.
* Go on a bike trip with Brian.
* Continue to show me the places where I need improvement in my life and heart.
* Use me to influence people to bring people to the Lord.
More to come!
I know this fear well. Zachie has asthma and while it has improved significantly in the last two years he still has his moments. The first time he was hospitalized was when he was about 7 months old. That time we were in the hospital for over a week. Even now, at his ripe old age of 12, having dealt with this illness his whole life, when he feels an attack coming on, he panics and reaches for me and hugs on tight. His inhaler usually buys us enough time to get to the emergency room, where they hook him up, sedate him and make him comfortable. What I can't imagine is being told that there is nothing they can do but wait it out and see if he makes it. Hailey's family's faith through all of this is so amazing and so encouraging.
So anyway, there isn't much else to do but wait and pray...and BLOG! :)
***************************************************
Happy Birthday Bailey-boo Elizabeth!!! I love you very very much...a million billion zillion hugs and kisses!
Tomorrow is Gracie's birthday.
I have to work tonight. I'm looking forward to that! We'll play some games and it'll get my mind off of missing Zach. My Hayley is at my brother's house right now, so I am missing her too!
**************************************************
Things I accomplished this year: correction...things the Lord has done for me this year...
* I read the entire Bible!
* I got baptized (different from the baby one I had after I was born)
* I saw Aerosmith in concert
* I spent every holiday this year with my children
* I made a ton of new friends!
* I let God love me.
* I said goodbye to my beloved best friend Kodi and said hello to my new best friend...my Sierra-love!
* I got my student loans in order (consolidated, organinzed, some paid off)
* I made up with Brian (sort of)
* I only became half-addicted to myspace.
* I blogged almost every day (and extra to cover days when I didn't blog). I've logged almost 30,000 page views since I started blogging 2 years ago! Has it really been that long? I'm excited to hear from new readers! My first year, I met Tanya and Teresa...my biggest fans! :) This year brought me Will.
* I've found so many old friends on myspace! It has been a total blast catching up with all of them! I LOVE the internet!
* I put a total of 240,000 miles on my 1998 Ford Taurus!!! Almost ready for a new one! Just a few short weeks!!!
***********************************************************
Things I want the Lord to do for me this year:
* Save Hailey's life.
* Keep my kids safe and healthy.
* Get Brian saved and walking with the Lord again.
* Get my butt out of bed...bright eyed and bushy tailed so I can spend some wonderful morning time meditating with Him. I spend each evening with Him, and enjoy that, but I want to be able to start my days like I end them!
* Make new Christian friends.
* Get back into my running schedule. I was running 3 miles every other day. What happened?
* Get new running sneakers.
* Get a new car.
* Pay off more of my loans.
* Figure out my next career move.
* Have a blast at the women's retreat!
* Have a blast in Boston on the 4th.
* Have a blast in Virginia Beach and then Disney World in April!
* Visit Zach this summer in Virginia.
* Go on a bike trip with Brian.
* Continue to show me the places where I need improvement in my life and heart.
* Use me to influence people to bring people to the Lord.
More to come!
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Wednesday Night
It has been such a weird day today. I have been trying to keep my mind on other things, but the Lord has kept little Hailey on my mind all day. Even to the point of having me flat on my back with pneumonia for most of it. I have no choice but to look up!
I hope we'll have even better news to share tomorrow!
"Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts, let them proclaim your power. I will meditate on you majestic, glorious splendor and your wonderful miracles. Your awe-inspiring deeds will be on every tongue; Everyone will share the story of your wonderful goodness." Psalm 145: 4-7
I hope we'll have even better news to share tomorrow!
"Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts, let them proclaim your power. I will meditate on you majestic, glorious splendor and your wonderful miracles. Your awe-inspiring deeds will be on every tongue; Everyone will share the story of your wonderful goodness." Psalm 145: 4-7
Hailey
I just wanted people to have a face to go with the name of the sweet little baby we're praying so hard for!
One little girl whose life has touched so very many people in such a short time!
One little girl whose life has touched so very many people in such a short time!
Prayer Update Number 2
Update straight from Aunt Mindy...
"Hey guys we just got home from the hospital to get some rest before we go back up tonight.
We made it through another night!!!! (praise God) It was my turn to stay up with her...I was with her from about 2:30 a.m. to 6:00 holding her hot little hand. They can't seem to get her fever down (its around 102-103 right now) Tylenol isn't doing anything for her for some reason..?? But we have so many other things to be rejoicing about right now!! I know Angie has been updating my page with any new news she gets...
News from TODAY------ When she wakes up in the night in fear...coughing and eyes filled with terror...of course this BREAKS OUR HEARTS. BUT we were told this morning by a nurse that it's really a GOOD thing that she wakes up enough to know that there are tubes down her throat. Where if she was doing THAT BAD - she wouldn't have a clue what was in her, or on her, or whatever. AND SHE DOES! So again,...PRAISE GOD!!
MOST of the doctors have been telling us from the start that there's really no hope and just to prepare....but a neurologist came in this morning who was just ASTONISHED at the little commands Hailey had been able to follow from that one time yesterday =) So...YAY!!
I HAVE TO SAY******
I THOUGHT or I understood that once we made it through the 24-72 hour period we were in the safety zone..what I didn't understand is that when your brain swells...the MOST it will swell is UP TO 72 hours. We are HALFWAY there...but the doctors have made it quite clear that tomorrow is going to be the MOST CRITICAL time for her....since this is when her brain will be swollen the most. Does that make sense?...for all we know...the WORST could be over and the swelling MIGHT be going down already...?? But we have been told to be prepared for some "downs" tomorrow as opoosed to all of these "ups" we've had yesterday and this morning. So IF the brain hasn't stopped swelling (we don't know) If we can just make it through till tomorrow...
God has ALREADY done so much with our sweet Hailey girl...They say it was a miracle that she had even made it through the first night...much less progressed a little!!!! But we have a MIRACULOUS GOD and we will praise Him all the way through this storm!! I LOVE YOU GUYS sooo much...my heart just breaks every time I come in here and read all of these messages.
I could NEVER thank you enough for the prayers!! He's LISTENING and He's comforting and holding Hailey as I speak =)
OH YEA....she is still on the breathing machines but this morning...she has began to trigger her own breaths under the sedation...AGAIN..THANK YOU GOD!!!
KEEP PRAYING YOU GUYS!!!! and again...THANK YOU"
********************************************
Okay Everyone, we know what we need to do! :) She's almost there!
"Hey guys we just got home from the hospital to get some rest before we go back up tonight.
We made it through another night!!!! (praise God) It was my turn to stay up with her...I was with her from about 2:30 a.m. to 6:00 holding her hot little hand. They can't seem to get her fever down (its around 102-103 right now) Tylenol isn't doing anything for her for some reason..?? But we have so many other things to be rejoicing about right now!! I know Angie has been updating my page with any new news she gets...
News from TODAY------ When she wakes up in the night in fear...coughing and eyes filled with terror...of course this BREAKS OUR HEARTS. BUT we were told this morning by a nurse that it's really a GOOD thing that she wakes up enough to know that there are tubes down her throat. Where if she was doing THAT BAD - she wouldn't have a clue what was in her, or on her, or whatever. AND SHE DOES! So again,...PRAISE GOD!!
MOST of the doctors have been telling us from the start that there's really no hope and just to prepare....but a neurologist came in this morning who was just ASTONISHED at the little commands Hailey had been able to follow from that one time yesterday =) So...YAY!!
I HAVE TO SAY******
I THOUGHT or I understood that once we made it through the 24-72 hour period we were in the safety zone..what I didn't understand is that when your brain swells...the MOST it will swell is UP TO 72 hours. We are HALFWAY there...but the doctors have made it quite clear that tomorrow is going to be the MOST CRITICAL time for her....since this is when her brain will be swollen the most. Does that make sense?...for all we know...the WORST could be over and the swelling MIGHT be going down already...?? But we have been told to be prepared for some "downs" tomorrow as opoosed to all of these "ups" we've had yesterday and this morning. So IF the brain hasn't stopped swelling (we don't know) If we can just make it through till tomorrow...
God has ALREADY done so much with our sweet Hailey girl...They say it was a miracle that she had even made it through the first night...much less progressed a little!!!! But we have a MIRACULOUS GOD and we will praise Him all the way through this storm!! I LOVE YOU GUYS sooo much...my heart just breaks every time I come in here and read all of these messages.
I could NEVER thank you enough for the prayers!! He's LISTENING and He's comforting and holding Hailey as I speak =)
OH YEA....she is still on the breathing machines but this morning...she has began to trigger her own breaths under the sedation...AGAIN..THANK YOU GOD!!!
KEEP PRAYING YOU GUYS!!!! and again...THANK YOU"
********************************************
Okay Everyone, we know what we need to do! :) She's almost there!
Prayer Update
Okay...so there was a new update on the carepage website that a friend is monitoring for the family we've been praying for. This is the newest update that I am copying and pasting. I think it is important for the people praying to be kept informed.
"I apologize for the delay in posting, but I had technical difficulties with the page last night. So, are you ready for some good news?
Yesterday evening while Dena was in with Hailey, she opened her eyes and looked around the room. Then, Dena said her name and Hailey actually picked up her head and looked right at her. The nurse was called and when she got in the room, she asked Hailey to squeeze her finger, and she did! So the nurse called in the doctor who asked Hailey to squeeze his finger and she shook her head "no". Next, he asked her if she could wiggle her toes and she did it! Dena asked Hailey where her piggies were and if she could wiggle them for mommy and she did it again. Right after this, a look of panic came across Hailey's face and she had to be re-sedated to keep her calm. ((Keep fighting Hailey!))
Dena, Mindy, and Mr and Mrs Northcutt expressed their sincere gratitude last night for the police officers, firemen, life flight personnel, dispatchers and all other first responders involved in the scene that took place when Hailey was initially found on Christmas Day. Not only did they do an extremely fine job in getting her quickly transported safely to the hospital, they came on their personal time to see her, bring her some toys, and most importantly, pray for her. Dena couldn't say enough wonderful things about all of them!"
Everyone keep up the prayers!
"I apologize for the delay in posting, but I had technical difficulties with the page last night. So, are you ready for some good news?
Yesterday evening while Dena was in with Hailey, she opened her eyes and looked around the room. Then, Dena said her name and Hailey actually picked up her head and looked right at her. The nurse was called and when she got in the room, she asked Hailey to squeeze her finger, and she did! So the nurse called in the doctor who asked Hailey to squeeze his finger and she shook her head "no". Next, he asked her if she could wiggle her toes and she did it! Dena asked Hailey where her piggies were and if she could wiggle them for mommy and she did it again. Right after this, a look of panic came across Hailey's face and she had to be re-sedated to keep her calm. ((Keep fighting Hailey!))
Dena, Mindy, and Mr and Mrs Northcutt expressed their sincere gratitude last night for the police officers, firemen, life flight personnel, dispatchers and all other first responders involved in the scene that took place when Hailey was initially found on Christmas Day. Not only did they do an extremely fine job in getting her quickly transported safely to the hospital, they came on their personal time to see her, bring her some toys, and most importantly, pray for her. Dena couldn't say enough wonderful things about all of them!"
Everyone keep up the prayers!
December 27, 2006
I slept okay last night, but woke up feeling as sick as I was feeling when I went to bed. A bad headache/car sick feeling that just won't quit. I rode in the backseat all day yesterday and I am usually the driver or passenger up front. I was completely fine on the way down. It was the last hour of the drive back that did me in.
I talked to Zach last night. Spent the evening with my girls. My life is so normal and good. It is hard not to feel guilty when you know one of your friends (more especially their friends) is going through a very tough time right now. As a mom, I can't imagine, I don't even want to imagine, what this is like. It is amazing though, how a little girl I don't even know, can touch my life. She is hanging in there and fighting for her life.
I have church tonight. I am prepared to get the entire congregation praying for her.
My Bailey-boo is 6 years old tomorrow! I can't believe 3 years has gone by! She was THREE when I first became her teacher. THREE! I'm going to have to stop by at some point and give her and Madison their Christmas presents and Bailey's birthday present.
My niece Grace is also a year old tomorrow.
It is so weird how life has pretty much stopped for some people and yet life goes on for everyone else. It is like having a foot in two entirely different worlds. Watching heartbreak and praying in one, and birthday celebrations in another.
Oh well, it is early. I feel yucky. I need my latte. I miss my son. We are supposed to go roller skating with my niece Lexi today. Auntie Jenn is not exactly feeling like breaking a bone...especially with ski season approaching.
I talked to Zach last night. Spent the evening with my girls. My life is so normal and good. It is hard not to feel guilty when you know one of your friends (more especially their friends) is going through a very tough time right now. As a mom, I can't imagine, I don't even want to imagine, what this is like. It is amazing though, how a little girl I don't even know, can touch my life. She is hanging in there and fighting for her life.
I have church tonight. I am prepared to get the entire congregation praying for her.
My Bailey-boo is 6 years old tomorrow! I can't believe 3 years has gone by! She was THREE when I first became her teacher. THREE! I'm going to have to stop by at some point and give her and Madison their Christmas presents and Bailey's birthday present.
My niece Grace is also a year old tomorrow.
It is so weird how life has pretty much stopped for some people and yet life goes on for everyone else. It is like having a foot in two entirely different worlds. Watching heartbreak and praying in one, and birthday celebrations in another.
Oh well, it is early. I feel yucky. I need my latte. I miss my son. We are supposed to go roller skating with my niece Lexi today. Auntie Jenn is not exactly feeling like breaking a bone...especially with ski season approaching.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
For Will
I was just checking my myspace and came across some horrifying news...Will's girlfriend Mindy's niece is very very sick. I am asking my readers and my friends to please please please pray!
This is the current information so far...
December 26, 2006 at 03:38 PM CST
At around 5pm, Monday, December 25th, Hailey was life flighted to Herman Hospital in Houston, TX. The updates that have been posted up till now follow:
December 25 - 6:43pm
Just heard from Mindy. She said Hailey is in a coma and shows signs indicative of brain damage.
She said her dad was taking all the boys to the church to ride their bikes and Hailey wanted to go along. After they were there for a bit, she said she was cold and ready to go home. Mr Northcutt told her to go get in the truck and they would be there in a minute to load up the bikes and leave. When they got to the truck, she was passed out cold in the front seat not breathing. He immediately started CPR and continued until she left on life flight. The people who were on the helicopter with her said she was doing small baby breaths, but they were having to do the majority of her breathing for her.
She is going to call me if she hears anything else. I'll update you when I know more.
*****
December 25 - 9:22pm
It kills me to type this, but here goes.
Mindy and her family just came out of the conference room with the doctors. Hailey is not going to make it. They give her approximately 48 to 72 hours to live and if she "wakes up" during that time, she will not have any brain function whatsoever.
I told Mindy about the MANY MANY messages I am getting from everyone. I told her about the prayers going up for Hailey and her entire family. She said to tell everyone thank you and express her appreciation.
If I hear anything else, I will update you. Please keep praying everyone!
*****
December 26 - 8:52am
Hailey made it through the night. Mindy said that last night they were saying the tests showed she would not have any motor skills if she woke up, but this morning, they aren't sure of that. She is going to call me in just a little bit. I'll update again at that time.
*****
December 26 - 11:54am
Sweet Miss Hailey is being strong and fighting. There were times last night where she would open her eyes like she was wide awake and would have a look of panic. The doctors would then go in and re-sedate her. It also seems that the swelling has gone down some in her lung, which is obviously GOOD. The doctors asked that Dena bring some things to comfort Hailey. So she has her bear, her blanket, and her Cinderella cd playing in her room. Another thing that came across as positive was how Hailey seemed to be "looking" for Dena when Dena would say her name from across the room.
Today the doctors have asked that no one say her name in her room or try to stimulate her in any way. They said her brain needs to rest.
Bill and I are leaving for the hospital around 6/6:30. When we get home tonight, I will post another update. Please continue to pray, everyone! On behalf of Mindy and her family, THANK YOU!
Pray for Will...for Mindy...and especially this sweet baby and her parents. My heart is breaking for them.
This is the current information so far...
December 26, 2006 at 03:38 PM CST
At around 5pm, Monday, December 25th, Hailey was life flighted to Herman Hospital in Houston, TX. The updates that have been posted up till now follow:
December 25 - 6:43pm
Just heard from Mindy. She said Hailey is in a coma and shows signs indicative of brain damage.
She said her dad was taking all the boys to the church to ride their bikes and Hailey wanted to go along. After they were there for a bit, she said she was cold and ready to go home. Mr Northcutt told her to go get in the truck and they would be there in a minute to load up the bikes and leave. When they got to the truck, she was passed out cold in the front seat not breathing. He immediately started CPR and continued until she left on life flight. The people who were on the helicopter with her said she was doing small baby breaths, but they were having to do the majority of her breathing for her.
She is going to call me if she hears anything else. I'll update you when I know more.
*****
December 25 - 9:22pm
It kills me to type this, but here goes.
Mindy and her family just came out of the conference room with the doctors. Hailey is not going to make it. They give her approximately 48 to 72 hours to live and if she "wakes up" during that time, she will not have any brain function whatsoever.
I told Mindy about the MANY MANY messages I am getting from everyone. I told her about the prayers going up for Hailey and her entire family. She said to tell everyone thank you and express her appreciation.
If I hear anything else, I will update you. Please keep praying everyone!
*****
December 26 - 8:52am
Hailey made it through the night. Mindy said that last night they were saying the tests showed she would not have any motor skills if she woke up, but this morning, they aren't sure of that. She is going to call me in just a little bit. I'll update again at that time.
*****
December 26 - 11:54am
Sweet Miss Hailey is being strong and fighting. There were times last night where she would open her eyes like she was wide awake and would have a look of panic. The doctors would then go in and re-sedate her. It also seems that the swelling has gone down some in her lung, which is obviously GOOD. The doctors asked that Dena bring some things to comfort Hailey. So she has her bear, her blanket, and her Cinderella cd playing in her room. Another thing that came across as positive was how Hailey seemed to be "looking" for Dena when Dena would say her name from across the room.
Today the doctors have asked that no one say her name in her room or try to stimulate her in any way. They said her brain needs to rest.
Bill and I are leaving for the hospital around 6/6:30. When we get home tonight, I will post another update. Please continue to pray, everyone! On behalf of Mindy and her family, THANK YOU!
Pray for Will...for Mindy...and especially this sweet baby and her parents. My heart is breaking for them.
December 26, 2006
It has been such a LONG day for us! Kayla, Zach and I were up by 3:30 AM getting ready to leave the house by 4 AM. We picked up my parents and headed down to Portland to take Zach to the airport and to do some shopping in Portland.
This time it was a little less emotional for me. I didn't cry until Zach was boarding the plane. Last time, I was crying before he even checked his luggage! He called when he landed. He said it was a pretty ordinary trip. A big relief to me. Back in the olden days, we just had to worry about crashes...now it is that plus the ever present threat of terrorism. Portland it pretty much a commuter airport, with lots of Mainers. Bangor is the last stop for all international flights (or first stop, depending on the direction), so the crowd tends to be more varied. Portland has direct non-stop flights every hour to Dulles on United Express...if Zach left from Bangor, he could have a direct flight, but he'd have to stop in Logan. Definitely not the place Mike and I really want our 12 year old hanging out, should there be some kind of delay...plus take-offs and landings are almost always where a plane runs into trouble...at least with a non-stop flight, one of us is there for the take-off and one for the landing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, flight is one of the safest forms of travel...nothing is safe enough when it involves your baby!
Putting him on the plane is always full of mixed emotions. I'm sad because he's leaving (this time only a week, so not so sad). Scared, because once he's on board, everything is beyond my control. Proud, because my little boy is jetsetting around, landing in one of the busyiest airports in the world, shuttle-ing in to find his dad waiting for him. Some people wait their whole lives to fly and he's quickly becoming an old pro.
I tried to take a nap when I got home...I guess I did manage a little one because I went down at 4 and woke up at 6ish...I was awake through most of that, though. Today was one of those days that was IMPOSSIBLE to take a nap. The phone rang every 15 minutes or so. I am going to hopefully sleep in tomorrow. Next Tuesday, Zach flies in at 6:45 PM, so I don't have to leave for Portland until about 4 PM.
Kayla and I had fun shopping today. I bought a very nice cashmere scarf from the Gap. It was actually fun to shop again! There was no Christmas pressure. I could indulge on myself again and not feel guilty doing it! The after holiday sales were nice, too. We had lunch at Kayla's favorite Portland restaurant...Eggspectations.
I can't believe it is almost 8 PM! Almost time for bed. Zach is supposed to call tonight.
This time it was a little less emotional for me. I didn't cry until Zach was boarding the plane. Last time, I was crying before he even checked his luggage! He called when he landed. He said it was a pretty ordinary trip. A big relief to me. Back in the olden days, we just had to worry about crashes...now it is that plus the ever present threat of terrorism. Portland it pretty much a commuter airport, with lots of Mainers. Bangor is the last stop for all international flights (or first stop, depending on the direction), so the crowd tends to be more varied. Portland has direct non-stop flights every hour to Dulles on United Express...if Zach left from Bangor, he could have a direct flight, but he'd have to stop in Logan. Definitely not the place Mike and I really want our 12 year old hanging out, should there be some kind of delay...plus take-offs and landings are almost always where a plane runs into trouble...at least with a non-stop flight, one of us is there for the take-off and one for the landing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, flight is one of the safest forms of travel...nothing is safe enough when it involves your baby!
Putting him on the plane is always full of mixed emotions. I'm sad because he's leaving (this time only a week, so not so sad). Scared, because once he's on board, everything is beyond my control. Proud, because my little boy is jetsetting around, landing in one of the busyiest airports in the world, shuttle-ing in to find his dad waiting for him. Some people wait their whole lives to fly and he's quickly becoming an old pro.
I tried to take a nap when I got home...I guess I did manage a little one because I went down at 4 and woke up at 6ish...I was awake through most of that, though. Today was one of those days that was IMPOSSIBLE to take a nap. The phone rang every 15 minutes or so. I am going to hopefully sleep in tomorrow. Next Tuesday, Zach flies in at 6:45 PM, so I don't have to leave for Portland until about 4 PM.
Kayla and I had fun shopping today. I bought a very nice cashmere scarf from the Gap. It was actually fun to shop again! There was no Christmas pressure. I could indulge on myself again and not feel guilty doing it! The after holiday sales were nice, too. We had lunch at Kayla's favorite Portland restaurant...Eggspectations.
I can't believe it is almost 8 PM! Almost time for bed. Zach is supposed to call tonight.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Merry Christmas...2006
It has been a long day but relaxing and fun. I actually had to WAKE the kids up this morning. They are beyond that crack of Christmas dawn phase. I was too excited for them to open their gifts so I woke them up. We did our presents. Zach made a lovely breakfast. I was in charge of the bacon and had a small grease fire. Zach was being a bit dramatic and ran around screaming like a little girl. I covered it and it put itself out. Grease fire sounds a little more extreme than it really was. I didn't even have to grab baking soda or the extinguisher. He' really not useful to have around in an emergency.
We hung out here for awhile and then went to my mom's for ham and turkey, potatoes and gravy, stuffing, and other veggies. I played with both of my nieces for most of the afternoon, while Zach played with my nephew Cody.
We're home now, waiting for Shannon and Andrew, so we can go to the movies tonight. We wanted to see Black Christmas but it isn't playing anywhere around here. So I guess we're going to see Night at the Museum.
Right now, I am pigging out on cookies, fudge and other goodies that my grandmother made and sent over last night. I am going to relax a little while Zach is watching some tv. Catch up on some reading. We have to get up early, early, early tomorrow. I want to leave the house at 4 AM, be at my mom's around 4:15 AM and then we're all going to head down to the airport in Portland to see Zach off. The company will be nice, although my stepdad will be driving which means this will be slow driving. UGH!!! The roads are supposed to be bad, though, with freezing rain, so slow is probably good.
Speaking of weather...the rest of this week and next looks like we'll have mostly rain. I want some snow!!! Very high 40's all next week. In January??? I'm not going to complain too much because I do hate spending money on things like heat. It is one of those things we like to call a necessary evil. And 40's in January means that we will really only have one month, possibly two, to deal with bitter coldness. The spring thaw usually starts in March. Our fresh water isn't even frozen over yet around here! So basically we're looking at a month, maybe two, of "winter". Our weather lately has been early spring/late fall like.
Tonight my stepdad was like,
"so when are we going new car shopping?" :) I can't wait!!! Next month. There is a nice Volvo I've been looking at with leather heated seats, power everything...there is also a Saab I am looking at. Also another Ford. Whatever it is, it'll be broken in during April vacation when the kids and I take it to Florida! Then I think Allison and I are going to plan a road trip out west! I want to hit the Grand Canyon and just drive through Small Town USA and enjoy ourselves. A little Thelma and Louise, minus the fiery car crash suicides. After that, we'll have our Boston trip as usual. We're spending the 3rd in Old Orchard, the 4th in Boston and the 5th and 6th back in Old Orchard.
Okay...I need to go waste some time in some other way. Have a Merry Christmas everyone!
We hung out here for awhile and then went to my mom's for ham and turkey, potatoes and gravy, stuffing, and other veggies. I played with both of my nieces for most of the afternoon, while Zach played with my nephew Cody.
We're home now, waiting for Shannon and Andrew, so we can go to the movies tonight. We wanted to see Black Christmas but it isn't playing anywhere around here. So I guess we're going to see Night at the Museum.
Right now, I am pigging out on cookies, fudge and other goodies that my grandmother made and sent over last night. I am going to relax a little while Zach is watching some tv. Catch up on some reading. We have to get up early, early, early tomorrow. I want to leave the house at 4 AM, be at my mom's around 4:15 AM and then we're all going to head down to the airport in Portland to see Zach off. The company will be nice, although my stepdad will be driving which means this will be slow driving. UGH!!! The roads are supposed to be bad, though, with freezing rain, so slow is probably good.
Speaking of weather...the rest of this week and next looks like we'll have mostly rain. I want some snow!!! Very high 40's all next week. In January??? I'm not going to complain too much because I do hate spending money on things like heat. It is one of those things we like to call a necessary evil. And 40's in January means that we will really only have one month, possibly two, to deal with bitter coldness. The spring thaw usually starts in March. Our fresh water isn't even frozen over yet around here! So basically we're looking at a month, maybe two, of "winter". Our weather lately has been early spring/late fall like.
Tonight my stepdad was like,
"so when are we going new car shopping?" :) I can't wait!!! Next month. There is a nice Volvo I've been looking at with leather heated seats, power everything...there is also a Saab I am looking at. Also another Ford. Whatever it is, it'll be broken in during April vacation when the kids and I take it to Florida! Then I think Allison and I are going to plan a road trip out west! I want to hit the Grand Canyon and just drive through Small Town USA and enjoy ourselves. A little Thelma and Louise, minus the fiery car crash suicides. After that, we'll have our Boston trip as usual. We're spending the 3rd in Old Orchard, the 4th in Boston and the 5th and 6th back in Old Orchard.
Okay...I need to go waste some time in some other way. Have a Merry Christmas everyone!
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Merry Christmas Everyone!!!
A very happy Christmas Eve 2006...Hayley was acting a bit emo, but it was a great night. Church was so nice. We had a very beautiful candlelight service. So special. I spent it with my babies, Debi, Allison, Jim and Joyce, Melissa and her 3 girls, and Andrea. Allison gave me a beautiful gold and diamond cross neckless. Debi gave me a wonderful journal and each page has a different verse on it. I love it! Andrea made me and the kids some yummy cookies! It was such a great night!
We had fun at my grandmother's, too! Tomorrow, Zach and I will have Christmas dinner at my Mother's and then home for the movies with Shannon and Andrew!
We had fun at my grandmother's, too! Tomorrow, Zach and I will have Christmas dinner at my Mother's and then home for the movies with Shannon and Andrew!
Gabby & Lexi & Aunt Jenn
Me with two of my three adorable nieces...Miss Gabby and Miss Lexi. It scares me how much I look like my mother in this picture...UGH!!!
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Da Bullet is Da Bomb
So the Magic Bullet Blender/Juicer is great! We've made smoothies and frozen coffee slushies pretty much all day! I am now drinking a smoothie with some blueberries, strawberries, raspberries and blackberries with some crushed ice and some orange juice...blend for about 30 seconds, drink and enjoy! Because you blend it with orange juice, you use no added sugar. Less calories than a full glass of orange juice because you probably use less than 1/2 a cup.
I haven't used the juicer yet.
My housework is done. My shopping is done. I just have some wrapping for my grandmother's party tomorrow to do.
I have been on a reading frenzy lately! I have read My Sister's Keeper. Redeeming Love. I finished Freakonomics. I only had the last chapter left and I promised Brian he could read it next, so I hurried to get that done. I am almost done the Bible. I am halfway through Amy Sedaris's book. So funny! This is the family I SHOULD have been born into. I seem to have more in common with them than my own family!
I took a nap today. I don't have to be back to work until Thursday night. I am watching The Sound of Music tonight. It comes on in 20 minutes. Kayla said she's never seen it. I started singing some of the songs and she knew every one of them. So we're trying to figure out how she could possibly know all the songs yet never see the movie? I think she is mistaken. She must have seen it at some point in her 17 years of life! It isn't like I run around the house singing "The Hills are Alive."
Okie doke. I'm done blogging. I may blog tomorrow if I have time. If not.....everyone have a Happy Christmas Eve!
I haven't used the juicer yet.
My housework is done. My shopping is done. I just have some wrapping for my grandmother's party tomorrow to do.
I have been on a reading frenzy lately! I have read My Sister's Keeper. Redeeming Love. I finished Freakonomics. I only had the last chapter left and I promised Brian he could read it next, so I hurried to get that done. I am almost done the Bible. I am halfway through Amy Sedaris's book. So funny! This is the family I SHOULD have been born into. I seem to have more in common with them than my own family!
I took a nap today. I don't have to be back to work until Thursday night. I am watching The Sound of Music tonight. It comes on in 20 minutes. Kayla said she's never seen it. I started singing some of the songs and she knew every one of them. So we're trying to figure out how she could possibly know all the songs yet never see the movie? I think she is mistaken. She must have seen it at some point in her 17 years of life! It isn't like I run around the house singing "The Hills are Alive."
Okie doke. I'm done blogging. I may blog tomorrow if I have time. If not.....everyone have a Happy Christmas Eve!
Oh Yeah!
I forgot to blog about what I got at the office Christmas party...
*one Magic Bullet blender w/ juicer and accessories and recipe book
*one Old Virginia Candle natural soy wax jar candle...clean burning and it's a renewable resource
*one Amy Sedaris book..."I Like You" alternate title "Hospitality under the Influence"
*one craft/knitting book
*one very sweet note pad, dark chocolate, candy canes, cookie cutter basket
***********************************************
Gifts I gave at the party:
*one voodoo doll kit, pins included
*one wine-tasting kit for future wine-tasting road trips, complete with journal and velvet wine bags to cover wine for future wine-tasting parties
*one Republican Playbook for my second favorite conservative
*one $20 Border's gift card
*one True Crime book...ironically this book went to the person who received the voodoo doll.
An all-around EXCELLENT party. I love gifts that are suited to my taste and I love giving funny and thoughtful gifts. And I like sharing gifts with people who have a similar budget. I can't stand dollar store gifts! What is the point of a meaningless exchange of two dollar store items with someone of whom you clearly have no regard?
*one Magic Bullet blender w/ juicer and accessories and recipe book
*one Old Virginia Candle natural soy wax jar candle...clean burning and it's a renewable resource
*one Amy Sedaris book..."I Like You" alternate title "Hospitality under the Influence"
*one craft/knitting book
*one very sweet note pad, dark chocolate, candy canes, cookie cutter basket
***********************************************
Gifts I gave at the party:
*one voodoo doll kit, pins included
*one wine-tasting kit for future wine-tasting road trips, complete with journal and velvet wine bags to cover wine for future wine-tasting parties
*one Republican Playbook for my second favorite conservative
*one $20 Border's gift card
*one True Crime book...ironically this book went to the person who received the voodoo doll.
An all-around EXCELLENT party. I love gifts that are suited to my taste and I love giving funny and thoughtful gifts. And I like sharing gifts with people who have a similar budget. I can't stand dollar store gifts! What is the point of a meaningless exchange of two dollar store items with someone of whom you clearly have no regard?
December 23, 2006
My great-grandmother's (my mother's mother's mother) funeral was 23 years ago today. I was very lucky to know all but one of my great-grandparents. This one, Nana, died when I was 11. Nana was very funny and was very French. She was also very loved by her family. She loved to drink her coffee brandy on the holidays and she always shared with me! :) I stayed with my grandmother, Mimi, during the entire 2-day wake and funeral process. I think it was one of the those times that my grandmother appreciated the company. Like I said, I was 11 and old enough to behave...it was so close to Christmas that my mother and other aunts still had presents to buy and things to get ready. After the last "guest" left after the first night of the wake, I stayed with my grandmother (mostly because she was my ride) and my dead great-grandmother. It was weird looking at her. I stared at her so long that I could see her chest moving like she was breathing. I think it was wishful thinking on my part. I was pretty close with my great-grandmother, having spent the last 11 years living in the same town! Even now, I live just houses from where she had lived her entire life and where she died! This was my first funeral and because it was someone I had loved so much and would miss so greatly, I'm not one of those people that freaks out at funerals or who can't see a dead body.
That Christmas was especially hard for my great-grandfather, Parpee. My grandmother had already bought his Christmas presents, so we sat around while he opened up the gifts, openly crying, silent tears streaming down his cheeks, knowing that these would be the last gifts he'd receive from his wife. He would live until I was pregnant with Kayla, just missing the birth of his great, great grandchild.
I remember one time, walking into the house, and I guess Nana didn't hear me come in. I was with Mimi and she was getting things out of the car to bring into the house, and so I went in ahead. Anyway, I walked into the living room and Nana was doing her rosary in her chair, crying. This was probably just months before she died. I watched her for quite sometime, feeling a little scared to see her crying while doing the rosary. For a long time, years and years, I would think of reasons why she would have been crying. I went back into the kitchen and waited for my grandmother to come into the house, noisely dropping bags on the table and my great grandmother came out and didn't look like she had been crying at all.
Sometimes when I read the Bible, or I am deep in prayer, I cry too. Not always sad tears. Mostly just tears of happiness or awe or emotions I can't even put words to. I understand her tears now.
************************************
On a different note...I am cleaning today. I want this Christmas to be perfect with the kids. I want to have all of the housework done so we can spend some good time together. After presents, we'll have our big breakfast ala Zach and then the girls will get ready to go to their dad's. Zach and I'll hang out putting his K'Nex Ferris Wheel together and playing with our new things before heading to the movies with Shannon and Andrew. We have to be out the door at 5 AM Tuesday morning. Zach's flight leaves at 9:35 AM...he has to be at the Portland Jetport an hour before his flight. After we see him off, we'll do some shopping in Portland because I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE shopping in the Portland Mall. So much better than the Bangor Mall. The stores in Portland are more in step with the rest of the country. Not that most people living in Bangor would have any idea about that. Their idea of couture shopping is Talbots. I know. I KNOW! Wonder why I go through bouts of depression? I have to live here. Not for much longer, though. Dolce & Gabbana are lost on most of these people. Marc Jacobs who? Wasn't he the guy puking at the pit party? Betsy Johnson? Didn't she marry Larry? Welcome to my fashion hell...the place where the "good" engagement rings don't come from Walmart. Give me a small diamond from Tiffany's any day.
Don't misunderstand me. You don't have to have the best of everything to be my friend. I don't have the best of everything but I DO own everything I have. I can't stand the people who think they are materialistic or think they have money or think they are really cool...when they just shop at TJ Maxx like everyone else. To them Hilfiger knock-offs are class. Why? Because they assume most everyone else around here doesn't know any better. But I DO! Oh, how I DO! And oh how I love to give them a bit of a designer quiz. Proof positive that they shop the sale racks at Macy's. Again, don't misunderstand me...I love to shop sales racks, but I don't walk around acting like I don't! If I got something on sale, I'll tell you I got something on sale! If I bought an antique Louis Vuitton at a yard sale you had better believe I'd tell you that I just bought an antique Louis Vuitton at a yard sale! How cool would that be??? The ulitmate day for me would be finding vintage Vuitton at a yard sale!
Okay, enough slamming the townfolk, of whom I am only half-related to...thank the Lord my dad was born and raised in Philly!
Back to my cleaning and spreading holiday joy!
That Christmas was especially hard for my great-grandfather, Parpee. My grandmother had already bought his Christmas presents, so we sat around while he opened up the gifts, openly crying, silent tears streaming down his cheeks, knowing that these would be the last gifts he'd receive from his wife. He would live until I was pregnant with Kayla, just missing the birth of his great, great grandchild.
I remember one time, walking into the house, and I guess Nana didn't hear me come in. I was with Mimi and she was getting things out of the car to bring into the house, and so I went in ahead. Anyway, I walked into the living room and Nana was doing her rosary in her chair, crying. This was probably just months before she died. I watched her for quite sometime, feeling a little scared to see her crying while doing the rosary. For a long time, years and years, I would think of reasons why she would have been crying. I went back into the kitchen and waited for my grandmother to come into the house, noisely dropping bags on the table and my great grandmother came out and didn't look like she had been crying at all.
Sometimes when I read the Bible, or I am deep in prayer, I cry too. Not always sad tears. Mostly just tears of happiness or awe or emotions I can't even put words to. I understand her tears now.
************************************
On a different note...I am cleaning today. I want this Christmas to be perfect with the kids. I want to have all of the housework done so we can spend some good time together. After presents, we'll have our big breakfast ala Zach and then the girls will get ready to go to their dad's. Zach and I'll hang out putting his K'Nex Ferris Wheel together and playing with our new things before heading to the movies with Shannon and Andrew. We have to be out the door at 5 AM Tuesday morning. Zach's flight leaves at 9:35 AM...he has to be at the Portland Jetport an hour before his flight. After we see him off, we'll do some shopping in Portland because I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE shopping in the Portland Mall. So much better than the Bangor Mall. The stores in Portland are more in step with the rest of the country. Not that most people living in Bangor would have any idea about that. Their idea of couture shopping is Talbots. I know. I KNOW! Wonder why I go through bouts of depression? I have to live here. Not for much longer, though. Dolce & Gabbana are lost on most of these people. Marc Jacobs who? Wasn't he the guy puking at the pit party? Betsy Johnson? Didn't she marry Larry? Welcome to my fashion hell...the place where the "good" engagement rings don't come from Walmart. Give me a small diamond from Tiffany's any day.
Don't misunderstand me. You don't have to have the best of everything to be my friend. I don't have the best of everything but I DO own everything I have. I can't stand the people who think they are materialistic or think they have money or think they are really cool...when they just shop at TJ Maxx like everyone else. To them Hilfiger knock-offs are class. Why? Because they assume most everyone else around here doesn't know any better. But I DO! Oh, how I DO! And oh how I love to give them a bit of a designer quiz. Proof positive that they shop the sale racks at Macy's. Again, don't misunderstand me...I love to shop sales racks, but I don't walk around acting like I don't! If I got something on sale, I'll tell you I got something on sale! If I bought an antique Louis Vuitton at a yard sale you had better believe I'd tell you that I just bought an antique Louis Vuitton at a yard sale! How cool would that be??? The ulitmate day for me would be finding vintage Vuitton at a yard sale!
Okay, enough slamming the townfolk, of whom I am only half-related to...thank the Lord my dad was born and raised in Philly!
Back to my cleaning and spreading holiday joy!
Thursday, December 21, 2006
December 21, 2006
I am amazed that God can still blow my mind time and time again. You'd think that I'd get used to His little miracles. I see them everyday. What I find so amazing is that God can take the most mundane thing, such as a hurried email reply and use it to minister to someone and to bring that someone to Him. I LOVE that I feel 100% completely comfortable running around saying "I love Jesus." It is so amazing to to me that when I first got saved, it was under certain conditions...1. that this was between me and the Lord...2. that I would NOT ever NO NEVER share my faith with anyone that wasn't a close friend, unless I was asked directly...3. and I would never be one for those freaky Christians that feel like they must stand on a corner passing out tracts.
When I first got saved, those were the things I worried about. Those were the things I did not want to become. Little did I know that those things would be the LEAST of anything that has worried or left me sleepless. When I first got saved, if someone said, "well you'll have to forgive people" I'd have said, "Duh!" That was before I had my heart ripped out. If someone had said, "well, you'll also have to find some new friends" I'd have said, "You're crazy. My friends love me for who I am." That was before a few of my friends decided that they just didn't like this new change in me.
My point is, the things I thought were going to be hard, aren't even on my radar anymore and the things that I just figured came with the territory can be the most agonizing...but in that agony is where true growth and true happiness lie. Can you imagine a life where every obstacle becomes a blessing? And every good thing is just a gift? Think of it in Super Mario terms...you can't move on to the next level until you get through the previous. There are many obstacles, but once you can get around them or destroy them, you can move forward. Sometimes you're stuck on a level for quite some time. Sometimes you just quit the game. Once in awhile, gifts seem to fall from the sky and you gobble them up and become stronger and bigger or get magic bullets to blow your way through. Well, God is like that magic star that you swallow and then you become invinsible and can run right through the course.
Imagine what kind of life you could have if there was nothing left to fear.
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
2 Timothy 1:7
"For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it. For the eyes of the Lord [are] over the righteous, and his ears [are open] unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord [is] against them that do evil. And who [is] he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good? But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy [are ye]: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled; But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and [be] ready always to [give] an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ."
1 Peter 3:10-16
Will told me just yesterday, and I will keep this with me always because it was so profound..."Remember...there is no diamond without pressure, no gold without fire."
When I first got saved, those were the things I worried about. Those were the things I did not want to become. Little did I know that those things would be the LEAST of anything that has worried or left me sleepless. When I first got saved, if someone said, "well you'll have to forgive people" I'd have said, "Duh!" That was before I had my heart ripped out. If someone had said, "well, you'll also have to find some new friends" I'd have said, "You're crazy. My friends love me for who I am." That was before a few of my friends decided that they just didn't like this new change in me.
My point is, the things I thought were going to be hard, aren't even on my radar anymore and the things that I just figured came with the territory can be the most agonizing...but in that agony is where true growth and true happiness lie. Can you imagine a life where every obstacle becomes a blessing? And every good thing is just a gift? Think of it in Super Mario terms...you can't move on to the next level until you get through the previous. There are many obstacles, but once you can get around them or destroy them, you can move forward. Sometimes you're stuck on a level for quite some time. Sometimes you just quit the game. Once in awhile, gifts seem to fall from the sky and you gobble them up and become stronger and bigger or get magic bullets to blow your way through. Well, God is like that magic star that you swallow and then you become invinsible and can run right through the course.
Imagine what kind of life you could have if there was nothing left to fear.
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
2 Timothy 1:7
"For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it. For the eyes of the Lord [are] over the righteous, and his ears [are open] unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord [is] against them that do evil. And who [is] he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good? But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy [are ye]: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled; But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and [be] ready always to [give] an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ."
1 Peter 3:10-16
Will told me just yesterday, and I will keep this with me always because it was so profound..."Remember...there is no diamond without pressure, no gold without fire."
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
My Sister's Keeper
For any of you who have not read this book...read it. Now!
This is one of those books whose characters I'll carry with me always.
This is one of those books whose characters I'll carry with me always.
December 20, 2006
SOOOOO can you believe that Christmas is only 5 days away? I am pretty much done. Pretty much it is just grocery store items that are left...we're having a big breakfast Christmas morning after we do our presents. Laying low Christmas Day. Just gonna play with our new presents. Movies Christmas night. Still...it doesn't really feel like Christmas. I'm not stressed out at all. My presents are acually WRAPPED and under the tree, minus the ones Santa brings on Christmas Eve. I sort of feel like I might be missing something...something big...that I will remember Christmas Eve night, after all the stores are closed. I feel this way because things just seem so normal. I'm not complaining. I'm just observing. This is a much better feeling than past Christmases. All we need now is some lovely snow.
The kids and I have Christmas Day all planned for yummy goodies. A big breakfast and then throughout the day, we're going to make smoothies and coffee coolattas and other recipes using my Magic Bullet! I definitely need to stock up on crushed ice and some frozen berries. Plus bananas. I will probably throw in a vegetable or two...supposedly the kids won't even be able to taste them!
I'm not sure if I am going to church tonight or not. I want to, but it depends on how much I get done shopping and errand-wise today. I was there 4 days last week, plus we're going to be there a lot on Sunday...morning service, 6 PM service and then the special 8-10 PM Christmas Eve service. I love being there obviously, or I wouldn't go...but it is about 25 minutes away and that is a lot of extra gas. We're going to have a small Christmas Eve snack fest at my grandmother's with my cousin Shawna, Robbie and Abigail and Shannon and Andrew. We'll all head to church after that.
I suppose I have to get ready to head to the grocery store. I'm feeling kind of lazy and 2 miles just seems too far to drive right now! :)
The kids and I have Christmas Day all planned for yummy goodies. A big breakfast and then throughout the day, we're going to make smoothies and coffee coolattas and other recipes using my Magic Bullet! I definitely need to stock up on crushed ice and some frozen berries. Plus bananas. I will probably throw in a vegetable or two...supposedly the kids won't even be able to taste them!
I'm not sure if I am going to church tonight or not. I want to, but it depends on how much I get done shopping and errand-wise today. I was there 4 days last week, plus we're going to be there a lot on Sunday...morning service, 6 PM service and then the special 8-10 PM Christmas Eve service. I love being there obviously, or I wouldn't go...but it is about 25 minutes away and that is a lot of extra gas. We're going to have a small Christmas Eve snack fest at my grandmother's with my cousin Shawna, Robbie and Abigail and Shannon and Andrew. We'll all head to church after that.
I suppose I have to get ready to head to the grocery store. I'm feeling kind of lazy and 2 miles just seems too far to drive right now! :)
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
December 19, 2006
I took the day off from blogging yesterday. Sunday, too...except for a few pictures I posted. Yesterday I had to work of course, and then come home and get gas, go grocery shopping, etc...Sunday night, I had church and then after the kids, Allison and I went back to her place and I ordered pizza for supper. We hung out there playing Uno and another card game, ate and came home.
I am reading a book called My Sister's Keeper....by Jodi Picoult. Very good and very thought-provoking. It is hard to put it down. This is the second book in the last two weeks that I've read or are reading that I haven't been able to put down. This is a good thing. I love books like this. I love reading anyway and will read just about everything, even if I have to push myself through it, but there are times when your entire existence disappears in those pages and you just get lost for hours. This used to happen every time I read a book as a kid. YA's are still the BEST books around!
And of course, I am almost done the Bible. I will be finished on New Year's Eve. A fitting way to ring in the new year! Our church is having an awesome New Year's Eve service/party/countdown. I am looking forward to doing something positive and enriching this New Year's instead of hanging out with a bunch of drunks...whether it be at a bar, or with my own drunken friends. Not so appealing anymore. The night will be filled of people sharing their testimonies. I always get so blessed when I hear about other's experiences and lives and how the Lord has helped them.
Last New Year's I was with Brian. It was one our last public outings as a couple before we broke up. It has been one amazing and incredible year. One of the best of my life. I have learned more about myself and my strength and Jesus. More than when I just got saved. This year has prompted some deep soul-searching on my part and just letting the Lord love me and help me. I turn to Him first now, with every problem. I am not afraid anymore. I am not afraid of dying...I know where I am going. I am not afraid of living...I know who is leading. I am not anxious anymore...someone else is in control. I am forgiving a lot of people in my life...simply because I am forgiven. What started out as one of the worst years of my life has become the greatest blessing ever. Jesus is my best friend. I have a father in Heaven that loves me more than anyone else ever could. And I have a Holy Spirit that has true strength, power and protection, that I can draw on anytime I ask.
Can you imagine how oblivious I would be to all of that stuff had Brian and I not broken up? We'd have ended up very unhappy, I am afraid. I would have become very resentful for feeling like I had to walk on eggshells around him. He would have pushed me away further and further the more he fell in love with me.
I am a better person. Brian is a better person. And we still love each other. There is that spark between us, that is a gift from God. There are times when it is only that spark that keeps us talking....when I am ready to just throw my hands up in the air and say "I give up. I don't need this." Then I remember that I have never had that spark with anyone in my whole life. I"ve loved. I've been loved. All that seems so juvenile compared to this.
I am going to get back to my reading.
I am reading a book called My Sister's Keeper....by Jodi Picoult. Very good and very thought-provoking. It is hard to put it down. This is the second book in the last two weeks that I've read or are reading that I haven't been able to put down. This is a good thing. I love books like this. I love reading anyway and will read just about everything, even if I have to push myself through it, but there are times when your entire existence disappears in those pages and you just get lost for hours. This used to happen every time I read a book as a kid. YA's are still the BEST books around!
And of course, I am almost done the Bible. I will be finished on New Year's Eve. A fitting way to ring in the new year! Our church is having an awesome New Year's Eve service/party/countdown. I am looking forward to doing something positive and enriching this New Year's instead of hanging out with a bunch of drunks...whether it be at a bar, or with my own drunken friends. Not so appealing anymore. The night will be filled of people sharing their testimonies. I always get so blessed when I hear about other's experiences and lives and how the Lord has helped them.
Last New Year's I was with Brian. It was one our last public outings as a couple before we broke up. It has been one amazing and incredible year. One of the best of my life. I have learned more about myself and my strength and Jesus. More than when I just got saved. This year has prompted some deep soul-searching on my part and just letting the Lord love me and help me. I turn to Him first now, with every problem. I am not afraid anymore. I am not afraid of dying...I know where I am going. I am not afraid of living...I know who is leading. I am not anxious anymore...someone else is in control. I am forgiving a lot of people in my life...simply because I am forgiven. What started out as one of the worst years of my life has become the greatest blessing ever. Jesus is my best friend. I have a father in Heaven that loves me more than anyone else ever could. And I have a Holy Spirit that has true strength, power and protection, that I can draw on anytime I ask.
Can you imagine how oblivious I would be to all of that stuff had Brian and I not broken up? We'd have ended up very unhappy, I am afraid. I would have become very resentful for feeling like I had to walk on eggshells around him. He would have pushed me away further and further the more he fell in love with me.
I am a better person. Brian is a better person. And we still love each other. There is that spark between us, that is a gift from God. There are times when it is only that spark that keeps us talking....when I am ready to just throw my hands up in the air and say "I give up. I don't need this." Then I remember that I have never had that spark with anyone in my whole life. I"ve loved. I've been loved. All that seems so juvenile compared to this.
I am going to get back to my reading.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Saturday NIght On Drugs
Well, the medicine I'm on right now is loosening up my cough. I am now officially expectorating! Yippee! A Christmas miracle! :) Still coughing and my head is still exploding, but hey...
Debi called tonight and calmed me down some. She said that the crowds were mean everywhere. She asked if I got to the mall today. Yeah, at 6 AM! :) I guess the mall was CRAZY today, which is why I had such an easy time in all of the stores I went to. Everyone else was at the mall! See what praying does for me? I prayed that the Lord would let this be a painless as possible for me and to help me find the stuff the kids need. Aside from the lady in Walmart and the psycho driver at Wendy's, things were great. A very nice guy was walking around the parking lot with me at the Airport Mall, looking for our vehicles...we had both forgot where we parked! :)
I need to buy three Bibles...a nice pink and brown leather one for Kayla, a nice green and brown leather one for Hayley and a student/study Bible for Allison. I also need to buy Zach a wallet that he picked out with a cross and a sword and some thorny tattoo-looking kind of border (not sure what to call it.) That will all be bought at Lamb's Book and Gift store. Two iPods and one Guitar Hero II game, some yarn, and some more art supplies and I can call it good. Debi is done. Shawna and Shannon are done. Grandma is done. I need to make up three 8 x 10's for my Mom of the kids. I also need to get Claire, Carl and Iona their gifts for our office party on Friday.
Karen called today for me to babysit my Bailey-boo, but I was out shopping! :( And I'm really not feeling so hot, although I know she'd make it better!
I'm just trying to kill some time until I get drowsy. You know I am sick when the medicine actually makes me feel "normal"...normally, it knocks me out!
I'm planning a fun ski trip in January with the kids. Brian wants to learn to ski this year.
Nighty night Blogworld.
Debi called tonight and calmed me down some. She said that the crowds were mean everywhere. She asked if I got to the mall today. Yeah, at 6 AM! :) I guess the mall was CRAZY today, which is why I had such an easy time in all of the stores I went to. Everyone else was at the mall! See what praying does for me? I prayed that the Lord would let this be a painless as possible for me and to help me find the stuff the kids need. Aside from the lady in Walmart and the psycho driver at Wendy's, things were great. A very nice guy was walking around the parking lot with me at the Airport Mall, looking for our vehicles...we had both forgot where we parked! :)
I need to buy three Bibles...a nice pink and brown leather one for Kayla, a nice green and brown leather one for Hayley and a student/study Bible for Allison. I also need to buy Zach a wallet that he picked out with a cross and a sword and some thorny tattoo-looking kind of border (not sure what to call it.) That will all be bought at Lamb's Book and Gift store. Two iPods and one Guitar Hero II game, some yarn, and some more art supplies and I can call it good. Debi is done. Shawna and Shannon are done. Grandma is done. I need to make up three 8 x 10's for my Mom of the kids. I also need to get Claire, Carl and Iona their gifts for our office party on Friday.
Karen called today for me to babysit my Bailey-boo, but I was out shopping! :( And I'm really not feeling so hot, although I know she'd make it better!
I'm just trying to kill some time until I get drowsy. You know I am sick when the medicine actually makes me feel "normal"...normally, it knocks me out!
I'm planning a fun ski trip in January with the kids. Brian wants to learn to ski this year.
Nighty night Blogworld.
Not in the Mood!
I have been very busy with church activities, holiday parties...shopping for my OWN children...etc, etc, etc...not to mention my small cold has turned into full blown bronchitis...I am miserable. Everytime I cough, I think my brain is going to explode. My head hurts so bad that when I cough, I literally have to hold my head for fear it will come off! To top it all off, I waited until this weekend to shop in earnest for the kids. I have been up shopping since 4 AM. It is now 5:44 PM. I am going to take out my contacts, drown my sorrows in some version of the Nyquil...possibly even ask Uncle Jack (Daniels) to forgive me of my absence for the past year and take a shot for my cold. I probably shouldn't drink with cough syrup. I will be going to the doctor's Monday or Tuesday for antibiotics...I have had bronchitis enough in my lifetime to 1.) recognize the symptoms and 2.) earn some kind of congressional medal of honor. That is assuming I don't make a fun trip to the emergency room tonight. My chest is feeling very tight.
So anyway, yeah, I'm pissed! He is not my only friend. AND we are JUST friends. I love Brian. He is this possessive and we're just friends? Let's give him a big GOODBYE! But on Tuesday he was like, "I know you're busy...don't even worry about it, I am busy here, too."
I mean, I'm sorry, but am I the only one that just assumes that if one of my friends hasn't emailed me back right away, they might be busy/sick/busy/dead/caught in traffic/BUSY...if I have't heard from them in months, then maybe I'd ask if there was something wrong with their email address or if I offended them in some way. I am not a mind reader. If you got a frigging problem with me, let me know, and I'll give you a piece of my mind while I am at it. I can NOT stand passive-aggressiveness. Be an adult.
Don't even get me started on the bitchy old lady that literally cut in front of me in a VERY LONG line in Walmart today. My second trip to Walmart in less than 2 hours. I was looking for a soda while in line to check out...there was another lady checking her stuff thru...there was probably 4 feet of available space between us. I was clearly in line. I said loudly in my bronchial-laden rasp (kinda sexy actually) WTF??? Did you just see that? Am I not in line?
Now, a nice old lady would have said, "Oh, I am so sorry...did I cut?" In which case, I may have responded, "Yeah, but you have fewer items. It's okay."
An even nicer old lady would have ASKED if I was in line before she even cut, leaving me open to say, "I am, but you know what? You only have a few items, why don't you cut."
This mean old lady said, "It didn't look like you were in line." No sorrys. I've been shopping my whole life. If it is one thing I know, it is what "in line" is! My cart was directly lined up with the rest of the carts in line in front of me...I was very nicely parallel parked with the counter, cleary in the 'in line' position. I don't care if you are older than me, nobody likes holiday shopping, but don't piss off a very sick lady in line who has been shopping since 4 AM. There are rules. If a bunch of people have been in line for 20 minutes, don't step in front of them!
And you're asking, Now Jenn, was this Christian of you? All I can say to you is that I didn't run her over with my cart or "accidently" run into her heel now did I? I DID think about slapping her in the head with my meat stick. The nerve of some people...
AND one more...my son was crossing the Wendy's parking lot, followed by me, when a car comes speeding thru the parking lot and then BEEPS at him!!! This was 10 hours into my day at this point...I threw my hands up like, "What the f***?" and the driver was like, "Get your kid out of the road." So I was like, "I'm sorry, we're pedestrians...say that with me...pedestrians...we were already crossing and the speed limit in a parking lot is 10 miles per hour, unless posted otherwise. But looking from the size of your ass, you probably need to eat really bad and I doubt you could even read your driver's ed manual. Run me down motherf***er...I just spent $1200 on Christmas presents today...I could use the money!"
I have always had the mouth. Don't f*** with me and DON'T f*** with my kid!
Okay...cough (I almost typed cock....lol) syrup here I come.
So anyway, yeah, I'm pissed! He is not my only friend. AND we are JUST friends. I love Brian. He is this possessive and we're just friends? Let's give him a big GOODBYE! But on Tuesday he was like, "I know you're busy...don't even worry about it, I am busy here, too."
I mean, I'm sorry, but am I the only one that just assumes that if one of my friends hasn't emailed me back right away, they might be busy/sick/busy/dead/caught in traffic/BUSY...if I have't heard from them in months, then maybe I'd ask if there was something wrong with their email address or if I offended them in some way. I am not a mind reader. If you got a frigging problem with me, let me know, and I'll give you a piece of my mind while I am at it. I can NOT stand passive-aggressiveness. Be an adult.
Don't even get me started on the bitchy old lady that literally cut in front of me in a VERY LONG line in Walmart today. My second trip to Walmart in less than 2 hours. I was looking for a soda while in line to check out...there was another lady checking her stuff thru...there was probably 4 feet of available space between us. I was clearly in line. I said loudly in my bronchial-laden rasp (kinda sexy actually) WTF??? Did you just see that? Am I not in line?
Now, a nice old lady would have said, "Oh, I am so sorry...did I cut?" In which case, I may have responded, "Yeah, but you have fewer items. It's okay."
An even nicer old lady would have ASKED if I was in line before she even cut, leaving me open to say, "I am, but you know what? You only have a few items, why don't you cut."
This mean old lady said, "It didn't look like you were in line." No sorrys. I've been shopping my whole life. If it is one thing I know, it is what "in line" is! My cart was directly lined up with the rest of the carts in line in front of me...I was very nicely parallel parked with the counter, cleary in the 'in line' position. I don't care if you are older than me, nobody likes holiday shopping, but don't piss off a very sick lady in line who has been shopping since 4 AM. There are rules. If a bunch of people have been in line for 20 minutes, don't step in front of them!
And you're asking, Now Jenn, was this Christian of you? All I can say to you is that I didn't run her over with my cart or "accidently" run into her heel now did I? I DID think about slapping her in the head with my meat stick. The nerve of some people...
AND one more...my son was crossing the Wendy's parking lot, followed by me, when a car comes speeding thru the parking lot and then BEEPS at him!!! This was 10 hours into my day at this point...I threw my hands up like, "What the f***?" and the driver was like, "Get your kid out of the road." So I was like, "I'm sorry, we're pedestrians...say that with me...pedestrians...we were already crossing and the speed limit in a parking lot is 10 miles per hour, unless posted otherwise. But looking from the size of your ass, you probably need to eat really bad and I doubt you could even read your driver's ed manual. Run me down motherf***er...I just spent $1200 on Christmas presents today...I could use the money!"
I have always had the mouth. Don't f*** with me and DON'T f*** with my kid!
Okay...cough (I almost typed cock....lol) syrup here I come.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Almost 1 AM
I am just getting back from my date with Brian. He met Sierra for the first time. He was a bit intimidated by her, unlike Kodi, which I find hilarious. Kodi was way more intimidating to most people, she just happened to have a soft spot for Brian. She used to even let him in without ever going to the door or barking or anything. Anyway...he warmed up to Sierra after a minute and she showed him all her tricks. I like that she proved more loyal to me than Kodi. She stayed right by my side until Brian and I headed out the door.
SOOOO, I know you don't want to hear about me talking about my dogs! :)
Our date was nice. We went to the place of our second date. Sat at the same table that I think we sat at the last time we ate there. We talked a long time. We drove around for a bit. Then he drove me home and he said, "Jenn, doesn't it seem like I just dropped you off last week? It doesn't even seem like any time has gone by. How can this be this easy? Why doesn't this weird you out at how easy this is?" THEN we made out for awhile! He is still the greatest kisser! I have waited 10 months to make out with him. It was so hard not to tell him I loved him. That was the part that weirded me out. It did seem like he just dropped me off last week and it was like our usual, "See you next weekend. Drive safe. I love you." I never stopped loving him so it is weird not to be able to say it.
I don't want to think about what any of it means or where any of it is going right now. I just want to be happy that we kissed and that I waited. I am just so thankful that the Lord had prepared me for what me kissing him tonight would require. Which was forgiving him in the first place.
Oh yeah...and for the first time EVER, he actually noticed I've lost weight. I WAS wearing my size 5-6 skinny jeans. Ones he's never seen before...and EVERY guys head turned when we walked into the Sea Dog...I was like thinking, "There...I hope you noticed!" He of course, looked exactly the same...a bit thinner and he was kind of dressed up...he wore a dress shirt and not one of his motorcycle tee-shirts. We both had on jeans and we just looked really good together.
I have missed him so much!
SOOOO, I know you don't want to hear about me talking about my dogs! :)
Our date was nice. We went to the place of our second date. Sat at the same table that I think we sat at the last time we ate there. We talked a long time. We drove around for a bit. Then he drove me home and he said, "Jenn, doesn't it seem like I just dropped you off last week? It doesn't even seem like any time has gone by. How can this be this easy? Why doesn't this weird you out at how easy this is?" THEN we made out for awhile! He is still the greatest kisser! I have waited 10 months to make out with him. It was so hard not to tell him I loved him. That was the part that weirded me out. It did seem like he just dropped me off last week and it was like our usual, "See you next weekend. Drive safe. I love you." I never stopped loving him so it is weird not to be able to say it.
I don't want to think about what any of it means or where any of it is going right now. I just want to be happy that we kissed and that I waited. I am just so thankful that the Lord had prepared me for what me kissing him tonight would require. Which was forgiving him in the first place.
Oh yeah...and for the first time EVER, he actually noticed I've lost weight. I WAS wearing my size 5-6 skinny jeans. Ones he's never seen before...and EVERY guys head turned when we walked into the Sea Dog...I was like thinking, "There...I hope you noticed!" He of course, looked exactly the same...a bit thinner and he was kind of dressed up...he wore a dress shirt and not one of his motorcycle tee-shirts. We both had on jeans and we just looked really good together.
I have missed him so much!
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Cousins
Me, with my cousin Shannon and my cousin Shawna, at the Women's Holiday Dinner. So much fun!
December 14, 2006
I talked with Jim today. He was supposed to be leaving on his missions trip next week, but circumstances changed and he's not going now. I know he is disappointed, but I also know the Lord will give him another trip and an even greater blessing. He also told me he's been working nights at a second part-time job. Jim is a professor. He has his doctorate. He is what I've always aspired to be. There is nothing wrong with honest hard work and I commend him for taking a second job that is beneath him (educationally speaking of course) to provide for his family. At the same time, I just feel so sad for him. He has worked so hard to get where he is and this is the time in his life when he should get a chance to enjoy some of it. I know he's in the Lord's hands and all I can do is offer up my sincere prayers.
Aside from that, I'm doing okay. Some sad things have been happening to some of my loved ones around me and some good things have been happening for others. I'm grateful for the opportunity to cry with some and rejoice with others because it keeps the focus off of me, or at least, helps me keep it in perspective. I'm not even going to go into it at this time...suffice it to say, I know what I heard from the Lord, I know what He wants of me, yet this is one of those moments when I begin second-guessing...myself and the Lord...like, "are you sure this is from You? Did I hear you right? How can I do this, it is too hard."
We prayed a lot at church last night. In small groups. For each other, for church needs, etc. There were two separate instances when I felt and saw the Lord speak to me through two people. It is just this fleeting glow and you know it was Him and not them...one person seemed to be ministering to someone else, but said directly to me, "Focus on proverbs." The other instance was again, when someone else was being ministered to, but again, this came to me directly, "Whatever sacrifice you've made to the Lord will be given back to you, only so much greater." Soooooo, last night, I was so tired, I went to be rather quick, not even talking to Brian, but I felt a strong urge to read the Bible and so I started in...just getting sleepier...and I finished with Proverbs 29:25 "Fearing people is a dangerous trap, trusting the Lord means safety." I've given the Lord my sacrifice, and I meant it. I trust He knows what He's doing, even though a lot of this really hurts and it feels like He is putting me in situations with the people I know can hurt me the most. When I know I am going to be talking to them, I can't eat, I get sick to my stomach. I start second-guessing if I am even supposed to be doing any of this. But like what was written, "Fearing people is a dangerous trap, trusting the Lord means safety."
A funny joke from Brian:
CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED
* 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are
* 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
* 4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
* 5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....
* 6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
* 7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
* 8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
* 9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
* 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Aside from that, I'm doing okay. Some sad things have been happening to some of my loved ones around me and some good things have been happening for others. I'm grateful for the opportunity to cry with some and rejoice with others because it keeps the focus off of me, or at least, helps me keep it in perspective. I'm not even going to go into it at this time...suffice it to say, I know what I heard from the Lord, I know what He wants of me, yet this is one of those moments when I begin second-guessing...myself and the Lord...like, "are you sure this is from You? Did I hear you right? How can I do this, it is too hard."
We prayed a lot at church last night. In small groups. For each other, for church needs, etc. There were two separate instances when I felt and saw the Lord speak to me through two people. It is just this fleeting glow and you know it was Him and not them...one person seemed to be ministering to someone else, but said directly to me, "Focus on proverbs." The other instance was again, when someone else was being ministered to, but again, this came to me directly, "Whatever sacrifice you've made to the Lord will be given back to you, only so much greater." Soooooo, last night, I was so tired, I went to be rather quick, not even talking to Brian, but I felt a strong urge to read the Bible and so I started in...just getting sleepier...and I finished with Proverbs 29:25 "Fearing people is a dangerous trap, trusting the Lord means safety." I've given the Lord my sacrifice, and I meant it. I trust He knows what He's doing, even though a lot of this really hurts and it feels like He is putting me in situations with the people I know can hurt me the most. When I know I am going to be talking to them, I can't eat, I get sick to my stomach. I start second-guessing if I am even supposed to be doing any of this. But like what was written, "Fearing people is a dangerous trap, trusting the Lord means safety."
A funny joke from Brian:
CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED
* 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are
* 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
* 4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
* 5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....
* 6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
* 7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
* 8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
* 9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
* 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Who I Was, Who I am, and Where I'm Going
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of Cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes. ~Byron
But strength alone, though of the Muses born,
Is like a fallen angel; Trees uptorn,
Darkness, and worms, and shrouds, and sepulchers
Delight it; for it feeds upon the burrs
And thorns of life; forgetting the great end
Of poesy, that it should be a friend
To soothe the cares, and lift the thoughts of man. ~Keats
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest. ~Jesus (Matt 11:20)
But if we hope for what we do not have,
we wait for it patiently. Romans 8:25
Because a thing seems difficult for you,
do not think it impossible. ~Marcus Aurelius
Come, let us return to the Lord;
for he has torn, that he may heal us;
he has stricken, and he will bind us up. ~Hosea 6:1
Of Cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes. ~Byron
But strength alone, though of the Muses born,
Is like a fallen angel; Trees uptorn,
Darkness, and worms, and shrouds, and sepulchers
Delight it; for it feeds upon the burrs
And thorns of life; forgetting the great end
Of poesy, that it should be a friend
To soothe the cares, and lift the thoughts of man. ~Keats
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest. ~Jesus (Matt 11:20)
But if we hope for what we do not have,
we wait for it patiently. Romans 8:25
Because a thing seems difficult for you,
do not think it impossible. ~Marcus Aurelius
Come, let us return to the Lord;
for he has torn, that he may heal us;
he has stricken, and he will bind us up. ~Hosea 6:1
Can It Be?
I think this is the longest I've gone without blogging in a long while!
So much is happening, and I just haven't had time to put any of it in words. I've been talking a lot to my friend Shelli, who lives in Virginia Beach and with my friend Mitch. Of course, I am still talking to Brian. We had a very beautiful conversation Saturday night. I love those talks when our guards are down and we're just open and vulnerable with each other. A little bittersweet, too, I guess, because it is during those talks when he realizes what I've always known...what we have is special.
Anyway, plans are in the works to visit with Shelli when she visits her dad here in Maine and when I go down to VA and Florida in April. Plans are also in the works for Mitch to come for a visit on January 6th. We're just friends and he makes me laugh. I'm pretty sure he's interested in more, but for now, my heart is taken...
The holiday dinner is tonight. I am so looking forward to dressing up and being with my friends and family. The Lord is just so wonderful and I spent all day Sunday with Him. No online stuff. No blogging! :( I know, I missed you! But I needed it. While there are times when the pull of the world is so strong it seems I can hardly stand it, this was one of those times when His pull was even stronger! So restful and peaceful. Sunday night was church. I got a few Christmas cards from new friends that I've made there. I love looking out in the crowd and seeing these wonderful people that God has brought into my life. God answers prayers! Back in June, I prayed that God would give me just one Christian friend, to support me through all of the changes He was making happen. I got my one, and then another, and another and now I have a team of cheerleaders that take true enjoyment in watching the Lord do His wonders in my life. And they can take this true enjoyment, because God has used them to help mold me into the person I am becoming. It has seemed fast and furious at times. I've come so far since May. I've worked on forgiving others, seeking God first and foremost, my LISTENING skills, my patience...learning what love really is all about. Loving other people is the easy part (for me), it is giving them the chance to love you, that is hard...even giving God a chance to love me, letting Him show me that He has been there all along, even when I never acknowledged Him. What a wonderful maker.
And happy!!! I have never been this happy in my whole entire life! Brian asked what that was like and I told him it is like smiling on the inside! There are no more holes that need to be filled. No more stones being thrown. I can laugh at myself and my old life. I can be philosophical about it because I know the Lord will use that life to help other girls that were like me.
I am still me, only better! The old me is dead now, but what remained, I believe were the essential parts of me that makes me unique from any other Christian. The Lord tore away all the dead layers, pruning me, if you will, taking off all the dead branches that would never bear fruit...He's still pruning of course, but not at the rate and speed He was doing it. He stripped me bare and I had no more defenses to hide behind. I had just a few branches left and those branches are the gifts that the Lord had given me from the very start, only they were being hidden by dark dead branches. Those little saplings of branches I had left represent those gifts...a great capacity for love and for forgiveness, a strength that is the root of my very core. That strength should have probably been pruned, because the Lord is my strength now, but He left it there. Maybe as a reminder. I bore those burdens for so long. Jesus's yoke is certainly light. I have a sense of humor that keeps me laughing through it all. I remember standing there, after being pruned and waiting for the rejection to come. Waiting for my new Christian friends to cast me out. To find out the truth about what I was. Who I was. The rejection never came. They saw me for who I am...a girl in desperate need of a savior.
Current Mood: smiling from the inside out
Current Music: Amazing Grace
So much is happening, and I just haven't had time to put any of it in words. I've been talking a lot to my friend Shelli, who lives in Virginia Beach and with my friend Mitch. Of course, I am still talking to Brian. We had a very beautiful conversation Saturday night. I love those talks when our guards are down and we're just open and vulnerable with each other. A little bittersweet, too, I guess, because it is during those talks when he realizes what I've always known...what we have is special.
Anyway, plans are in the works to visit with Shelli when she visits her dad here in Maine and when I go down to VA and Florida in April. Plans are also in the works for Mitch to come for a visit on January 6th. We're just friends and he makes me laugh. I'm pretty sure he's interested in more, but for now, my heart is taken...
The holiday dinner is tonight. I am so looking forward to dressing up and being with my friends and family. The Lord is just so wonderful and I spent all day Sunday with Him. No online stuff. No blogging! :( I know, I missed you! But I needed it. While there are times when the pull of the world is so strong it seems I can hardly stand it, this was one of those times when His pull was even stronger! So restful and peaceful. Sunday night was church. I got a few Christmas cards from new friends that I've made there. I love looking out in the crowd and seeing these wonderful people that God has brought into my life. God answers prayers! Back in June, I prayed that God would give me just one Christian friend, to support me through all of the changes He was making happen. I got my one, and then another, and another and now I have a team of cheerleaders that take true enjoyment in watching the Lord do His wonders in my life. And they can take this true enjoyment, because God has used them to help mold me into the person I am becoming. It has seemed fast and furious at times. I've come so far since May. I've worked on forgiving others, seeking God first and foremost, my LISTENING skills, my patience...learning what love really is all about. Loving other people is the easy part (for me), it is giving them the chance to love you, that is hard...even giving God a chance to love me, letting Him show me that He has been there all along, even when I never acknowledged Him. What a wonderful maker.
And happy!!! I have never been this happy in my whole entire life! Brian asked what that was like and I told him it is like smiling on the inside! There are no more holes that need to be filled. No more stones being thrown. I can laugh at myself and my old life. I can be philosophical about it because I know the Lord will use that life to help other girls that were like me.
I am still me, only better! The old me is dead now, but what remained, I believe were the essential parts of me that makes me unique from any other Christian. The Lord tore away all the dead layers, pruning me, if you will, taking off all the dead branches that would never bear fruit...He's still pruning of course, but not at the rate and speed He was doing it. He stripped me bare and I had no more defenses to hide behind. I had just a few branches left and those branches are the gifts that the Lord had given me from the very start, only they were being hidden by dark dead branches. Those little saplings of branches I had left represent those gifts...a great capacity for love and for forgiveness, a strength that is the root of my very core. That strength should have probably been pruned, because the Lord is my strength now, but He left it there. Maybe as a reminder. I bore those burdens for so long. Jesus's yoke is certainly light. I have a sense of humor that keeps me laughing through it all. I remember standing there, after being pruned and waiting for the rejection to come. Waiting for my new Christian friends to cast me out. To find out the truth about what I was. Who I was. The rejection never came. They saw me for who I am...a girl in desperate need of a savior.
Current Mood: smiling from the inside out
Current Music: Amazing Grace
Sunday, December 10, 2006
The Reason
Is it any wonder Zach is the spoiled 12 year old that he is today? How could I say no to this face??? Notice the fingers in the ears, as if to say, "I'm not listening..."
Someday, when his own 4 year old refuses to leave the mall when he is told, and Zach has to drag him out on his ski pants, I'll show him the picture!
Two seconds after this was taken, he says to me, "Mommy, you're so bootiful."
Someday, when his own 4 year old refuses to leave the mall when he is told, and Zach has to drag him out on his ski pants, I'll show him the picture!
Two seconds after this was taken, he says to me, "Mommy, you're so bootiful."
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Things I Did Today
Decorated the tree
Decorated the house
Made homemade meatball subs for supper
Made Chex Mix
Went grocery shopping
Febreezed the living room...(the new febreeze flavor in Crisp Linen smells JUST like Downy!)
Chatted with Mitch at least once per hour today
Had my hair glazed
Talked to my ex-sister-in-law in Virginia
Talked to my friend Shelli in Virgini
What I want to do:
Take a nap
Take a hot bath
Marry Viggo Mortensen
Decorated the house
Made homemade meatball subs for supper
Made Chex Mix
Went grocery shopping
Febreezed the living room...(the new febreeze flavor in Crisp Linen smells JUST like Downy!)
Chatted with Mitch at least once per hour today
Had my hair glazed
Talked to my ex-sister-in-law in Virginia
Talked to my friend Shelli in Virgini
What I want to do:
Take a nap
Take a hot bath
Marry Viggo Mortensen
And So This is Christmas...
I am decorating the house and tree today and Zach was all set to go outside to play and now he's going thru all of the stuff...oh, Mom...do you remember this? Do you remember this? Of course, I do! I just kicked him out of the house.
Today on ABC Family there is a Christmas show marathon...Frosty, Rudolph, Jack Frost, Santa Comes to Town...etc. That is what I am watching, while decorating. Seems fitting!
I finally slept! Many hours in a row! 12 to be exact. I fell asleep at 8 PM last night and woke up at 8 AM this morning. I desperately needed the rest.
Today I need to:
decorate the house
decorate the tree
take pics of kids
take pics of Sierra
play in the snow with the kids
buy lightbulbs
make homemade meatball subs for supper...sorry Meatwad
post pics to blog, flickr AND make prints for Christmas cards.
address Christmas cards
buy stamps
mail out Christmas cards
If I get even 1/2 that done today, I'll be doing great! Decorating the tree is the easy part. It is the velvet bow part that gets annoying, but the look is so worth it after it is all done. Okay, I must get started. I will blog later when I take a break!
Current Mood: most excellent
Current Music: Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree
Today on ABC Family there is a Christmas show marathon...Frosty, Rudolph, Jack Frost, Santa Comes to Town...etc. That is what I am watching, while decorating. Seems fitting!
I finally slept! Many hours in a row! 12 to be exact. I fell asleep at 8 PM last night and woke up at 8 AM this morning. I desperately needed the rest.
Today I need to:
decorate the house
decorate the tree
take pics of kids
take pics of Sierra
play in the snow with the kids
buy lightbulbs
make homemade meatball subs for supper...sorry Meatwad
post pics to blog, flickr AND make prints for Christmas cards.
address Christmas cards
buy stamps
mail out Christmas cards
If I get even 1/2 that done today, I'll be doing great! Decorating the tree is the easy part. It is the velvet bow part that gets annoying, but the look is so worth it after it is all done. Okay, I must get started. I will blog later when I take a break!
Current Mood: most excellent
Current Music: Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree
Friday, December 08, 2006
Iona Is The Best!!!
Sooo at work, I was telling Iona and Carl about my hooter's comment...and Iona, bless her little heart...says, "well, you know, with your jacket off, you COULD be a Hooter!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Carl had a spectacular winter ensemble on today and Iona looked quite nice with her glasses on...she quipped, "They just don't fit quite right since I stepped on them!"
Such a funny day at work!
Teresa, Zan is a riot! I LOVE his new song!!! He so totally rocks! I tried to post a comment to your site but for some reason, I wasn't able to today. Everyone check out Teresa's blog, so you can read about Zan's song...teresaland.blogspot.com....way funny!
I have to go get some gas. Go to the grocery store and then go to bed early.
My baby ripped a pad on the bottom of her back foot today! She is limping right now. She has some antibacterial ointment on it right now, but I'm going to have to invest in some doggie booties, I think! My poor little girl!
Current Mood: very very sleepy, but good
Current Music: Oh Christmas Tree...........by Zan
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Carl had a spectacular winter ensemble on today and Iona looked quite nice with her glasses on...she quipped, "They just don't fit quite right since I stepped on them!"
Such a funny day at work!
Teresa, Zan is a riot! I LOVE his new song!!! He so totally rocks! I tried to post a comment to your site but for some reason, I wasn't able to today. Everyone check out Teresa's blog, so you can read about Zan's song...teresaland.blogspot.com....way funny!
I have to go get some gas. Go to the grocery store and then go to bed early.
My baby ripped a pad on the bottom of her back foot today! She is limping right now. She has some antibacterial ointment on it right now, but I'm going to have to invest in some doggie booties, I think! My poor little girl!
Current Mood: very very sleepy, but good
Current Music: Oh Christmas Tree...........by Zan
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Nice Melons
LOL! I LOVE IT!
Oh my gosh!!! Family Guy was all about Hooters tonight! LOL! What a coinkydink!
Oh my gosh!!! Family Guy was all about Hooters tonight! LOL! What a coinkydink!
OH NOOOOOO!!
I've heard about it, but like most people, I figure things like this would NEVER happen to me...they happen to bad people. People who deserved it or asked for it. Or were wearing suggestive clothing, like a Hooter's tank. But I was just sitting here, minding my own business, blogging to my heart's content about my weird conversation with Brian...when all of a sudden, Blogger assaulted me! Where is my post??? It disappeared. No trace. Come back! I was almost done. Just putting my last few witty touches to it. DANG you!!! You gdposihyymfpoc! I'll give five dollars to the first person who can comment on my exact words. Here's a hint: Each letter stands for a bad word!
Okay....so I was writing about my weird conversation with Brian tonight. He asked me if I would attend his memorial service if he died. I joked and said, "Of course, if only to make sure you were cremated like you want to be."
Now that I am thinking about it, was this a cry for help? I know he's depressed. He did mention he's going to Portland next weekend to shop and asked me if my Christmas shopping was done yet. Then he mentioned that he might be buying his plane ticket tomorrow to spend Christmas with Cassie in North Carolina. He asked what I was doing.
I think those were hints, like he'd like to invite me, but doesn't know what I would say...he also mentioned that he was supposed to be Santa in the parade, but he didn't do it because he didn't have a Mrs. Clause....like it is my fault I'm not his Mrs. Clause!! I'm not sure what is going on with him. THEN he really did it! He hit me right between the eyes. He ate the blueberry crisp that we were supposed to have had the last time I was up there! I was like, "thanks for waiting!!!" Of course, it has been 9 months, but whatever! May he be pooping blueberries for WEEEEEEEEKS!!!
UGH!!!!!!! Men! Named Brian!!!!!!!!! I hate it when he is depressed. He said he was jealous that I was going to camp during our conversation before I left. He also told me not to flirt with anyone.
Okay, I am going to stop thinking about it and him and I am going to focus back on what the Lord wants for me and that is to be watching the Family Guy...waiting up for my boyfriend Meatwad, the Retarded Meatball...he's so hot.
Okay....so I was writing about my weird conversation with Brian tonight. He asked me if I would attend his memorial service if he died. I joked and said, "Of course, if only to make sure you were cremated like you want to be."
Now that I am thinking about it, was this a cry for help? I know he's depressed. He did mention he's going to Portland next weekend to shop and asked me if my Christmas shopping was done yet. Then he mentioned that he might be buying his plane ticket tomorrow to spend Christmas with Cassie in North Carolina. He asked what I was doing.
I think those were hints, like he'd like to invite me, but doesn't know what I would say...he also mentioned that he was supposed to be Santa in the parade, but he didn't do it because he didn't have a Mrs. Clause....like it is my fault I'm not his Mrs. Clause!! I'm not sure what is going on with him. THEN he really did it! He hit me right between the eyes. He ate the blueberry crisp that we were supposed to have had the last time I was up there! I was like, "thanks for waiting!!!" Of course, it has been 9 months, but whatever! May he be pooping blueberries for WEEEEEEEEKS!!!
UGH!!!!!!! Men! Named Brian!!!!!!!!! I hate it when he is depressed. He said he was jealous that I was going to camp during our conversation before I left. He also told me not to flirt with anyone.
Okay, I am going to stop thinking about it and him and I am going to focus back on what the Lord wants for me and that is to be watching the Family Guy...waiting up for my boyfriend Meatwad, the Retarded Meatball...he's so hot.
I'm a Lip Biter
"Sometimes for the good of the herd, the weak gazelle must be sacrificed."
Ever had one of THOSE days???
I'm watching The OC...Tivoing Grey's Anatomy. I love love love The OC. I want to marry it, I love it so much.
Where is the snow??? Mitch is getting snow. Will is getting snow. Brian is probably getting snow. Where is my snow?
"When you live in a monkey cage, you have to date chimps." Ever had one of THOSE lives???
OH MY GOODNESS! I forgot about the best part of my trip...this old lady came up to me whilst I was talking to a group telling them funny stories about my life...she walked right up, interrupted, and in Iona like fashion, said, "Are YOU a Hooter???" as in, am I a hooter girl??? So frigging funny! Funnier was the way the entire lunch room shut up the second she asked me that. Are You a Hooter?
Ever had one of THOSE days???
I'm watching The OC...Tivoing Grey's Anatomy. I love love love The OC. I want to marry it, I love it so much.
Where is the snow??? Mitch is getting snow. Will is getting snow. Brian is probably getting snow. Where is my snow?
"When you live in a monkey cage, you have to date chimps." Ever had one of THOSE lives???
OH MY GOODNESS! I forgot about the best part of my trip...this old lady came up to me whilst I was talking to a group telling them funny stories about my life...she walked right up, interrupted, and in Iona like fashion, said, "Are YOU a Hooter???" as in, am I a hooter girl??? So frigging funny! Funnier was the way the entire lunch room shut up the second she asked me that. Are You a Hooter?
Prayers
My prayers tonight are for Will and Tanya...love you both!!!
I got an email from Chelsea and Stacey. We had such a frigging funny night together! Kassie, too! OM Goodness!!! I haven't laughed that much in a long time. I was over-tired and Eric and Erin know how I get when I am like that...Chelsea and Stacey were falling down laughing. I was regaling them with stories from my former career as a Wendy's cashier and how it was decided a career in food service...actually any kind of direct contact with the public...was not for me. I was SUCH a bitch before the Lord found me! :) But a funny one!
I needed this camping trip. I am so glad it happened. I know I was griping before I left and the showering quarters weren't so ideal, but I had such a great time with my friends and meeting Shoshanna! A true inspiration! I will never forget her.
Current Mood: whopperlicious...(that was for YOU Chelsea and Stacey!!!)
Current Music: Let Me Tell You 'Bout My Best Friend.............Rob & Big
I got an email from Chelsea and Stacey. We had such a frigging funny night together! Kassie, too! OM Goodness!!! I haven't laughed that much in a long time. I was over-tired and Eric and Erin know how I get when I am like that...Chelsea and Stacey were falling down laughing. I was regaling them with stories from my former career as a Wendy's cashier and how it was decided a career in food service...actually any kind of direct contact with the public...was not for me. I was SUCH a bitch before the Lord found me! :) But a funny one!
I needed this camping trip. I am so glad it happened. I know I was griping before I left and the showering quarters weren't so ideal, but I had such a great time with my friends and meeting Shoshanna! A true inspiration! I will never forget her.
Current Mood: whopperlicious...(that was for YOU Chelsea and Stacey!!!)
Current Music: Let Me Tell You 'Bout My Best Friend.............Rob & Big
Interesting
Dr. Dan...a local physician and I'll leave it at that...has asked me out.
And of course...Brian is the light of my life...next to Jesus and my kids and Sierra!!!
I'm not really confused. I'm kinda enjoying my life right now! My financial situation is coming together. My student loans are being consolidated, so my education awards can be applied directly to the whole thing! Makes my life easier. I have made the decision to continue grad school in the fall. I want my masters over and done with so I can work on my DOCTORATE!!! It feels great to finally make a decision! I am getting my masters in counseling! YAY! No social work. But as a counselor, I can still work with the kind of kids that I am now, but be able to help them through their crisis and not be in charge of it...I'll blog more about that later! :) Time for work!
And of course...Brian is the light of my life...next to Jesus and my kids and Sierra!!!
I'm not really confused. I'm kinda enjoying my life right now! My financial situation is coming together. My student loans are being consolidated, so my education awards can be applied directly to the whole thing! Makes my life easier. I have made the decision to continue grad school in the fall. I want my masters over and done with so I can work on my DOCTORATE!!! It feels great to finally make a decision! I am getting my masters in counseling! YAY! No social work. But as a counselor, I can still work with the kind of kids that I am now, but be able to help them through their crisis and not be in charge of it...I'll blog more about that later! :) Time for work!
December 7, 2006
I fell asleep last night at about 9. Slept until 6:30. Got up with the kids for school and went back to sleep about 7:30 and I slept until 10. Now of course, I have that overslept hangover but it feels better than not having enough sleep.
Today is my mother's birthday. She is 54 today. Not too old yet.
I need some coffee. I also need to go to the bank, pick up the kids and go to work.
Today is my mother's birthday. She is 54 today. Not too old yet.
I need some coffee. I also need to go to the bank, pick up the kids and go to work.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
I'm Back
Okay...so I am back. I have so much to tell, yet I don't know if I can do it any justice just blogging about what really happened.
I don't know if I can quite capture the moment in the written word as easily as I could talking about it, but here goes.
Picture it...a long day (9-5) of training by the wonderful and dynamic Shoshanna. She's great but it was hard to appreciate her much after an 1 1/2 of driving, 8 hours of training and 4 hours of sleep that first day.
So we head over to the girls lodge, which quickly turns into the party palace...much to the dismay of Chelsea, Stacey, Kassie and myself. I call the kids. They are without power. Hmmmmmm, since when? Since 6:45 PM. I immediately tell the babysitter to check the breaker box. I am too exhausted to care much. I tell them I am going to take a shower and I'll call when I get out. By then they should have figured out if it is a power outage, or they blew a fuse.
This is where the trouble begins. Being the considerate girl that I am, I decide to take a shower on the 3rd floor, because the party is on the second floor and there is only one restroom on that floor. I figured they might need the convenience of having one closer. I venture to the abandoned-looking third floor. Find a door that leads to a changing room, which leads to a shower stall. Cool! So I go into the changing room, throwing all caution in the wind, and lock the door behind me. The floor to ceiling door. This would be an internal room. No windows, no ceiling vent. No way out, other than the door. Which coincidently only locks. There is no un-lock. Which also coincidently swells very tightly shut once the hot water is running for any significant amount of time because there is no vent in the ceiling. I am getting ahead of myself, however.
Soooo, I'm taking my shower, relaxing as languidly as one can whilst in a stand up shower stall, letting the steamy hot water roll off my tired, achey body. I wash my hair, followed by the conditioning process. At which point, I was jerked out of my reverie by the sudden urge to breathe...that is right! Up to that point, I assumed I had been breathing, but I was suddenly overcome by excessive steam...which is when I discovered I had no exhaust vent. This is probably the time to mention that the water had some lovely rotten-egg smell, but I was so cold and tired, I didn't notice much until I starting eating the humid air. So I blindly reach for the shower handle. Shut the water off and drop to my knees on the floor. I grope for my towel and begin to hastily put on some clothes lest I pass out naked. I reach for the door knob and turn the handle. It is rigid and not floating quite like a handle should...so I think, DUH! I locked it. I unlocked the door, turned the handle and again was not met with a "floater"...WTF??? I'm TRAPPED with putrid egg air! I immediately panic and start beating on the door frantically...for 10 minutes! I look for cracks to breathe out of. None. Lord, what are you doing to me? Okay, okay, relax. I enter the shower stall again and take a running start. I body slam the door and basically bounce back into the shower stall. Who knew pine was so formidable? At this point, between the lack of fresh oxygen and the heat and the anxiety of the situation, I began to hallucinate and envision them finding me next summer when the fresh batch of campers show up. Relax, I tell myself, they have to take showers tomorrow. They'll at least have to find me by then...except that most seem to be the "earthy" type and the chances of them venturing to the 3rd floor to shower is slim.
This is when I begin to yell HELP and alternately bang. Finally, I sit on the floor and start kicking the door until finally the still locked handle kind of popped out of the door jam. Exhausted, I lay on the hall floor praising the Lord and gulping beautiful dusty abandoned 3rd floor air. I go downstairs to rejoin the party. I call the kids. Apologize for being late with my call. It was indeed a blown fuse. Power was back on for them. I go to my room and Stacey was like, Jenn, you've been taking a shower all this time??? I was like, Noooooo, I've been trapped in the upstairs shower banging and yelling for help. She and Chelsea were rolling on the floor laughing. After 40 minutes, they had just been wondering where I had ventured off to.
I proceed to climb up to the top bunk. 4 girls in my room. Stacey, Chelsea and Kassie and me. The four of us aren't quite so "earthy" (not that there is anything wrong with that, but none of us really enjoy the "natural" scent, otherwise known as eau de stink) and we have all become pretty good friends, so we decided to room together. These are not children bunkbeds with safety rails, mind you. These are old college dorm , one foot from the ceiling bunkbeds, reminiscent of the concentration camp era. I brought my son's new mummy sleeping bag on a whim, not really understanding quite what the mummy part really meant. I was just thinking bag with a hood...wrong! Bag in a mummy shape, in which feet are in the un-natural postion of next-to-each-otherness...touching. I sleep spread eagle in a queen size bed...my feet haven't touched in about 13 years. It gets worse...this bag is not lined with anything like cotton. It is synthetic material which is noisy and slippery not only inside the bag, but slippery for the bag on the cotton mattress, which happened to be on enough of a slant that my bag kept slipping towards to the side of the bed which leads straight down to the floor! AND the bag doesn't zip all the way...it stops zipping at about the shin level, making for a lovely foot pocket...or death trap if you try to manuever out of the bag in the middle of the night, only to plummet to the floor landing on your knees like a cat!
Aside from a few of those snafus, we had a GREAT time having a sleep over! We stayed up until about 1 AM talking and laughing. Today's training was so much better. I appreciated Shoshanna more after some sleep and no prior driving. She is an incredible woman and I will blog about her at some other time. I'm tired, my knees hurt, and I am going to go take a nice hot bath in a room with a window and a fan!
I don't know if I can quite capture the moment in the written word as easily as I could talking about it, but here goes.
Picture it...a long day (9-5) of training by the wonderful and dynamic Shoshanna. She's great but it was hard to appreciate her much after an 1 1/2 of driving, 8 hours of training and 4 hours of sleep that first day.
So we head over to the girls lodge, which quickly turns into the party palace...much to the dismay of Chelsea, Stacey, Kassie and myself. I call the kids. They are without power. Hmmmmmm, since when? Since 6:45 PM. I immediately tell the babysitter to check the breaker box. I am too exhausted to care much. I tell them I am going to take a shower and I'll call when I get out. By then they should have figured out if it is a power outage, or they blew a fuse.
This is where the trouble begins. Being the considerate girl that I am, I decide to take a shower on the 3rd floor, because the party is on the second floor and there is only one restroom on that floor. I figured they might need the convenience of having one closer. I venture to the abandoned-looking third floor. Find a door that leads to a changing room, which leads to a shower stall. Cool! So I go into the changing room, throwing all caution in the wind, and lock the door behind me. The floor to ceiling door. This would be an internal room. No windows, no ceiling vent. No way out, other than the door. Which coincidently only locks. There is no un-lock. Which also coincidently swells very tightly shut once the hot water is running for any significant amount of time because there is no vent in the ceiling. I am getting ahead of myself, however.
Soooo, I'm taking my shower, relaxing as languidly as one can whilst in a stand up shower stall, letting the steamy hot water roll off my tired, achey body. I wash my hair, followed by the conditioning process. At which point, I was jerked out of my reverie by the sudden urge to breathe...that is right! Up to that point, I assumed I had been breathing, but I was suddenly overcome by excessive steam...which is when I discovered I had no exhaust vent. This is probably the time to mention that the water had some lovely rotten-egg smell, but I was so cold and tired, I didn't notice much until I starting eating the humid air. So I blindly reach for the shower handle. Shut the water off and drop to my knees on the floor. I grope for my towel and begin to hastily put on some clothes lest I pass out naked. I reach for the door knob and turn the handle. It is rigid and not floating quite like a handle should...so I think, DUH! I locked it. I unlocked the door, turned the handle and again was not met with a "floater"...WTF??? I'm TRAPPED with putrid egg air! I immediately panic and start beating on the door frantically...for 10 minutes! I look for cracks to breathe out of. None. Lord, what are you doing to me? Okay, okay, relax. I enter the shower stall again and take a running start. I body slam the door and basically bounce back into the shower stall. Who knew pine was so formidable? At this point, between the lack of fresh oxygen and the heat and the anxiety of the situation, I began to hallucinate and envision them finding me next summer when the fresh batch of campers show up. Relax, I tell myself, they have to take showers tomorrow. They'll at least have to find me by then...except that most seem to be the "earthy" type and the chances of them venturing to the 3rd floor to shower is slim.
This is when I begin to yell HELP and alternately bang. Finally, I sit on the floor and start kicking the door until finally the still locked handle kind of popped out of the door jam. Exhausted, I lay on the hall floor praising the Lord and gulping beautiful dusty abandoned 3rd floor air. I go downstairs to rejoin the party. I call the kids. Apologize for being late with my call. It was indeed a blown fuse. Power was back on for them. I go to my room and Stacey was like, Jenn, you've been taking a shower all this time??? I was like, Noooooo, I've been trapped in the upstairs shower banging and yelling for help. She and Chelsea were rolling on the floor laughing. After 40 minutes, they had just been wondering where I had ventured off to.
I proceed to climb up to the top bunk. 4 girls in my room. Stacey, Chelsea and Kassie and me. The four of us aren't quite so "earthy" (not that there is anything wrong with that, but none of us really enjoy the "natural" scent, otherwise known as eau de stink) and we have all become pretty good friends, so we decided to room together. These are not children bunkbeds with safety rails, mind you. These are old college dorm , one foot from the ceiling bunkbeds, reminiscent of the concentration camp era. I brought my son's new mummy sleeping bag on a whim, not really understanding quite what the mummy part really meant. I was just thinking bag with a hood...wrong! Bag in a mummy shape, in which feet are in the un-natural postion of next-to-each-otherness...touching. I sleep spread eagle in a queen size bed...my feet haven't touched in about 13 years. It gets worse...this bag is not lined with anything like cotton. It is synthetic material which is noisy and slippery not only inside the bag, but slippery for the bag on the cotton mattress, which happened to be on enough of a slant that my bag kept slipping towards to the side of the bed which leads straight down to the floor! AND the bag doesn't zip all the way...it stops zipping at about the shin level, making for a lovely foot pocket...or death trap if you try to manuever out of the bag in the middle of the night, only to plummet to the floor landing on your knees like a cat!
Aside from a few of those snafus, we had a GREAT time having a sleep over! We stayed up until about 1 AM talking and laughing. Today's training was so much better. I appreciated Shoshanna more after some sleep and no prior driving. She is an incredible woman and I will blog about her at some other time. I'm tired, my knees hurt, and I am going to go take a nice hot bath in a room with a window and a fan!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)