Dreams

I had another dream that I was back in Narragansett and we were going to be moving and I woke up crying. These dreams totally have the power to ruin my day. It's no secret that I'm struggling with having moved. Sadness, anxiety, anger, bitterness. I'm hoping that spending the weekend in RI will help me sort through some of those feelings and when I come back, I will feel more settled. I do understand this is just a season and that there are many good things about being here and to try to make the most of it. Let me try to put things in perspective...a bad day in Narragansett was never really bad...I could walk to the beach. A bad day in Orono is a bad day. For the first time last weekend, while in Camden, I felt like, ok, maybe this won't be so bad, but last night's dream didn't help.

Cupcake Vineyards

This is such a lovely all purpose red wine.    It only runs about $12 a bottle which is a fine price for a nice glass (or four) of wine to sip and relax after a long day.  A tad on the sweet side, it was still good, even though I usually prefer a drier wine.  

Weekend Adventures

Saturday was a good day for a hike!  We hiked up the Maiden Cliff trail in Camden. 

Reading

Currently reading this book. I don't think it needs a summation, as the title sums it all up nicely. The thick of the story takes place about 20 years before the Civil War ends slavery.  A free black man was kidnapped from New York and sold south into slavery, where he endured for 12 years away from his wife, kids and parents.  I feel it should be required reading. I certainly hope to include it and possibly the movie, in my Civil Rights unit, when and if I ever teach English again. The most compelling part of the narrative for me was when Northup blames the institution of slavery and not the white men who were born into it, as Jesus prayed His father would forgive the people who put him to death because they know not what they do. I have no problem casting blame all around. Jerks are jerks and are responsible for their own actions.  2015 and the color of your skin is STILL an issue. 

Cast On

I cast on a hat yesterday to match Bella's grey and Aqua trim Northface winter jacket for school next winter. I think it'll match perfectly. 

Almost ready to begin my decreasing rows. I'm using 16-inch circulars size #8 and a super soft worsted yarn in Aqua. I will post the finished product on my model (Bella) when I sew the flower on the brim. 

Phase 2 Day 5

We're five days into Phase 2 of Atkins. I find I can pretty much stay at this level indefinitely, occasionally hopping up into Phase 3 or even 4, if it's a celebratory event. Most of the bad cravings (chips, pizza, pastries) are on the wayside. Once in awhile now, one will take hold but it's usually because I've seen a commercial. But what's that saying? Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Plus with every ad for food, there's ten more ads for weight loss gimmicks. I'm happy to have berries in my life again and my current raw vegetable faves are sliced red peppers, celery sticks and broccoli. My energy levels seem to have returned. I'm not out of breath going up and down the stairs. Took a few days for my body to acclimate to the weight loss and dramatically reduced sugar intake. I'm going to increase my frequency of workouts this week. I hope to find a nice balance. Running really helps my anxiety but it also really makes me ravenous. Another rainy day today. One more expected for tomorrow. My garden bed is enjoying a good soak. I hope to get my seedlings into the ground soon and get our deer fencing in place. I'm planting a little butterfly garden too. There's an area that has some really beautiful wild flowers and some leftover flowers from a former flowerbed, which have popped up. Our crematory company we used for Sierra sent us a seed packet of flowers along with her ashes. I'm hoping to incorporate them into that little area and maybe a little engraved rock memorial. I have a few knitted hat patterns I want to start and hats knit up pretty quickly for me so I'm hoping to get a few knit up. I have some slipper socks I want to make. Lots of Christmas gifts. Weird to start thinking about that now but it really does sneak up on you. I also have all the supplies for knit stocking Christmas tree ornaments. Obviously, I have plenty of things to keep my hands busy besides popping food into my mouth!

Expanding Dog Pack

We introduced Desmond and Sadie in the park in the back of backyard. Once we knew they we ok, we brought them inside. Took a few hours of sniffing before they started playing. Took a day before they settled near each other. And by day three, they joined Bella in her "office" which is what Bella calls Desmond's extra large dog kennel. 

Old Days vs New Days

A day in my life just a few months ago looked like this:

Work 8pm-8am for the overnight for job 1, work 8:15 at job 2 until 2pm. Work 2:15pm-6:15pm at job 1.  Watch Bella until her mother got home from work at 10pm. That would be a Sunday night thru Monday night. 

Yesterday was pretty restful because it was Mother's Day and quite frankly I just wanted a pajama day. I haven't had one since moving here. Today started early. It is 2 minutes shy of 10am and I've done 3 loads of laundry, washed, dried, folded, put away. Vacuumed upstairs and downstairs. Cleaned Bella's room. Put all her toys, books and clothes away. Loaded the dishwasher. Made our bed. Next up is washing the kitchen floor. I have blogged twice this morning and watered my plants. 

Honestly I just feel like I traded ridiculous amounts of busy for ridiculous amounts of busy. 

Tonight we're having low carb pizzas for dinner made with carb balance tortillas. I think my husband will be happy with that. 

Weekend Excitement

We rehomed this girl over the weekend. Ours will be the 4th (and hopefully last) home she's had in her short 2 1/2 years. She's the same age as Sierra was when I rescued her. Desmond has welcomed her in. We've named her Sadie. She's acclimating and they've both exceeded my expectations getting along. Bella is happy she has a more manageable sized dog to boss around! 

Yesterday's Outing

There really is nothing cuter than pictures of dogs and kids.  Not so cute when you're the one wrangling said dog and kid.  They're perfect one at a time. Together?  They feed off of each other and both get hot and tired at about the same time.  And both seem to stop listening at the same time too!  It's super fun when the 5- year old throws a stick to play fetch and you're tethered to the dog. 

Day 14! We Did it!

14!  FOURTEEN days of no sugar, no wheat, low carbs, no starches, no alcohol (except a much deserved Michelob Ultra light beer, at 95 calories, which I only got 1/2 of the bottle down and then suffered with heartburn for 3 days after), little caffeine because I don't enjoy coffee with Splenda.  I do NOT think my two teaspoons of sugar in my morning coffee is going to bring me down.  It's the cake, cupcakes, pie, ice cream, pasta, bagels, and chips.  Those items are going to remain out of my diet. Maybe a treat once in awhile but definitely not going to be waiting for me in my cupboards.  

So DAY 14!  How do I feel?  Rested!  I'm sleeping really well because I'm not waking up all night with digestive issues. I have not had one headache in 14 days!  A little breathless at times as my body adjusts to not running on sugar, which is completely normal and should pass.  I'm down 10 pounds, so there is that for positive reinforcement.  Moving forward, I think I'm going to hover around Induction for a bit longer, but definitely moving up to Phase 2 on workout days.  I do recognize my body's need for more of a variety of fruits and vegetables than just the leafy green stuff. Kale or spinach, and some berries, with some green tea, blended up in the Bullet to add some fiber and vitamins but low on the carb scale should do the trick.

I'm pretty sure I'm done with meat for awhile!  I'm going to stick with fish and eggs. Some chicken. Tofu.  My treat for myself tomorrow evening???  A shot of American Honey whiskey.  I found out last night there's only 2 carbs in it. That stuff is so good you can just drink it straight.  Or add it to green tea for a hot toddy, which is my preferred way to enjoy.  I had no cravings last night at bedtime!  That is huge for me because that is when I want to eat and eat and eat.  My mid-afternoon munchies were held off with two stalks of celery cut up and stuffed with sugar-free soy butter. Either item by itself is not that appetizing but together???  My brain thinks it celery and peanut butter and that's ok with me. 

I've also found in these two weeks that there is food I have seemed to lose a taste for. That's the keto diet for you.  It is very similar to when you're pregnant and get turned off to certain foods. I have a bunch of friends doing the whole 30. There's nothing inherently wrong with the diet, as it should be whole organic foods, but it allows for tons of fruit and other high GI foods.  High Glycemic Index foods (carrots for one) can ruin a person's weight-loss goals, especially if you're insulin-resistant. I know, it's a bit technical...my brother is diabetic and has been since he was a kid and I had borderline gestational diabetes with my first pregnancy, so I learned A LOT in order to avoid giving myself shots.  So even though carrots are low in calorie, they are one of the highest on the GI scale, which spikes your blood sugar. I save bananas and carrots for after a big workout.  Actually I always save carrots because I don't seem to like them unless their cooked up in a soup! 

Day 12!!!

Day 12 of induction isn't nearly as bad as say day 5. The cravings are minimal, still coming around 8 PM, when we're in bed watching tv. I'm guessing it's because of all the FOOD commercials that are on television. Nothing like a Dairy Queen Blizzard commercial to kill your willpower. The advertisers will NOT win. I'm not getting my skinnier butt up and out of bed to drive across town for a blizzard. If DQ delivered, they may be a problem. I'm down ten pounds, so that is good too! Yesterday wasn't a good water day, so today I'm going to focus on getting my required amount inside of me. We're going kayaking this afternoon when Mitch gets home from work. I've created a monster. He's the world's newest kayaking enthusiast. Maine is finally getting its much deserved Spring. Mid to high 70s all week. I'm going to work some more on prepping my garden bed. It was just shy of 80 when I went outside to work on it yesterday and I only lasted about an hour. The best part of spring is washing sheets and blankets and hanging them on the line to dry!

First Weekend in May

We did some hiking Saturday to scout out a possible area for our kayaks (yeah not happening as it is a pretty steep ascent for about a half hour) but the view was gorgeous, as was the weather. Not a person to be seen, so we spent the day and decided to hike down, get our camping gear and hike BACK up (quickly mind you, so we could set up camp before nightfall. Not our greatest idea but certainly a fun one. We both slept horribly because of our poor planning, my anxiety about bears, and it is apparently loon mating season and their calls were not the soothing ones I remember of my youth. They were these violent, crashing and thrashing strangled wails, along with a few of their warning wails, dispersed through the night. We did get a few peaceful tremolos at sunset and sunrise but by sunrise, the loons were dead to me. 

The Jungle Book

Last night we went to the opening night of The Jungle Book that our local community theater put on. It was Bella's first time going to a play and this was definitely a good choice. It only ran about an hour, which was also good for a five year old.  And the old man too, as Mitch started complaining about his butt and the hard seats...I never brought up the hours I've spent on metal bleachers, watching him coach URI soccer!  

Anyway, great show!  My friend Elaine was the Mama wolf and her son was a wolf pup and a monkey. Bella totally loved getting her picture taken with them after the show!