Action Packed

We're gonna have an action packed next few days! Tonight, the girls and I will probably pick up Allison and go out to dinner and maybe catch a movie. Tomorrow morning, the four of us are sleeping in a little (definitely PAST 5 AM!!!) and then heading out to the beach for the day. Tomorrow night, I'll see if Allison wants to hang out with the girls. Karen called and asked if I'd babysit Baileyboo and Madison tomorrow night. Of course! This will be just what I need to help with my missing Zach! Lots of hugs and kisses from my other girls! I can not believe Bailey is starting kindergarten in the Fall! She was just 3 when I was her teacher. Plus, the extra $80 will be nice for our Boston trip.

Sunday morning, we have church and Sunday night, we have church. I unfortunately have to work on Monday, so I am going to have to do my last minute errands Sunday afternoon and Monday when I get home for work. We're leaving about 10 PM Monday night. We'll be in Boston at 2 AM. Get our parking spot and nap for 2 1/2 hours before we have to get in line for the concert by at least 5 AM. I am getting a supreme spot this year!

AND then the grande finale will be a wonderful morning, noon and night at Old Orchard Beach.

I hope everyone has a fantabulous weekend!

Besas!

Found!!!

Well I've found the missing Eric. He's been in the hospital. He had emergency surgery on his small intestines on his birthday! He will probably be released from the hospital on Sunday or Monday, so Boston is out for him this year. :( I know he was looking forward to it! I was, too, but his health is more important.

Eric is in the hospital, Tanya's husband was in the hospital this week with severe kidney stones, David (Desaraye's husband) is in the hospital having his appendix out and Allison is in Acadia for another night.

Keep them all in your prayers.

Zach, Zach, Zach

He called again today at 5 in a panic. "I forgot to remind you yesterday when I called about feeding my snake!"

Yes, Zach, Mommy fed your snake. Relax. This is the first year that Zach doesn't have a babysitter while Mike is at work. The last two days, his Aunt Christy has had to work. She is a nurse and works a couple of days on and then has a couple of days off. Mike has weekends off, so Zach is really only alone a day or two out of any given week, but he clearly doesn't like it much. I offered to pay for the babysitter to help ease his mind but Zach said no.

Anyway, I just got off the phone with Allison. She is hearing voices again. I got her mind on Boston and she soon was happy making plans for next week. I don't know why I attract such craziness in my life, but whatever. She wasn't like this when we became friends. This is all kind of the last 4 years or so. Bottom line, it has gotten much worse since she won her disability case and now doesn't have to work. She has nothing legitimate to focus her mind on. Now she only has her "Oh poor little me" woes. Of course, that would be enough to drive the sanest person crazy. I'm not a big believer in long-term therapy. I think everyone could benefit from a few months with a psychologist, I mean, I was with mine for over 3 years. But you sincerely have to question any therapist that doesn't promote a "weaning" schedule. Mine says I ditched him, whenever I visit with him from time to time. Not the case necessarily, but I didn't think I was moving ahead anymore and I felt like some of the things I was going through, I had to go through on my own. It's not like I can't go back if I need him, but I've found a much greater peace within myself since getting saved and having a close relationship with God. Through God, I've found forgiveness and am working on forgiving people that have wronged me. I am dealing with my (non) relationship with my dad. With His help, I am changing negative behaviors that haven't ever done me any good, such as excessive drinking, sleeping with whomever I want, whenever I want, selfishness, my pride, my impatience, etc. I honestly am healthier than I've ever been. I still have a long ways to go and hopefully will remain a work in progress for quite sometime, lest I become bored! All it took to finally be set free from the slavery of medication and therapy was letting God into my life and giving my problems over to him. Honestly, I didn't have anything to lose by trying it. It became the best thing I ever did.

The girls and I are all reading Huck Finn. This is one of my all-time favorite books, by one of my all-time favorite authors, and it was on Kayla's suggested AP English summer reading list. Because she is dyslexic, and struggles sometimes to appear like she is keeping up effortlessly, I've decided she, Hayley and I will read it together, and have a reading group, where we will talk about the deeper issues that the novel deals with. The way I figure, both girls will have to read this and it won't hurt them to have a headstart and a firm grasp of what the book is about to begin with. Besides, what good is it to have an English teacher for a mother if she doesn't ever give them a boost once in awhile? Hayley was working on her own novel all day today, tying up my computer! My kids are so funny sometimes. All three have stories and novels and screenplays saved to my laptop, that they work on. Hayley also has a lot of poetry. Of the 4 of us, she is the poetry lover. I'm going to tell you all a little secret about this English teacher...I really don't like poetry all that much. Writing it is okay, because I like to be creative once in awhile, but reading it can be such a chore for me at times. Hayley writes poetry everyday and reads it constantly. I love that my kids love to write. They are learning to love to read, but none of them are voracious like I was as a child, but you give them a pen and paper or a computer and they are at work writing the next greatest American novel.

Zach read "The Outsiders" this summer and LOVED it. Hayley read it last year and I bought her the DVD a few months ago, so Zach was able to watch it after he read it. He discovered that none of the actors who played the bad guys (the Socs) in the movie ever went on to have successful movie careers, but all of the Greasers did. Tom Cruise, Matt Dillon, Patrick Swayze, Thomas Howell, Ralph Macchio, Rob Lowe, Emilio Esteves, and I am sure I am forgetting some people...anyway, Zach said, "Well, I hope those actors that played the bad guys learned a valuable lesson!" I said, "What's that, Zach?" He said, "Never play a bad guy in a sad movie! It'll end your career!"

On that note, I am going to retire to my bedroom and read some before going to sleep.

Current Mood: excited for the 4th!
Current Music: Carnival of the Animals............Saint-Saëns

June 29, 2006

I did go to church last night. Ken wasn't there. He got called unexpectedly away to California. He'll be back for Sunday, so hopefully that will give him time to forget all about his comment to me! :)

No, I didn't talk to the guy from church. I think he thinks I don't like him. I will try to fix that this weekend. I promise.

I hope you have a wonderful time, Tanya! And I hope Eric had a nice birthday. I still haven't talked to him yet.

Other than that, I've been working and reading and trying to catch up on sleep. Watching the Waltons, Season One, too. I love that show.

Now I have to track down Allison. She called and left a weird message.

DC News

I got home from work today and Zach had left 4 messages! I called him back and reminded him that Mommy does indeed work during the day now that it is summer! There was no big emergency, but I hadn't heard from him since they got all that rain. He said where they are, they got a foot and a half of rain. It is sunny there today, he said, and that the water is retreating. I can relax a little now that I know he is okay. His lonliness is starting a little earlier than usual this summer. He usually doesn't start calling me during the day until at least week 5. The last few weeks, he is on the phone with me every day. I am buying him an electric scooter for his welcome back party.

So, I've talked to him, and taken a shower. Church tonight. It is Eric's birthday, too. I haven't heard from him today, so I am sure he and Erin already have celebration plans. I wish our schedules coincided a little better. I am getting up when he is going to bed. These 5 AM mornings for me are zapping my energy come the end of the day. I have found that the shower in the afternoon after work has seemed to help. It is definitely refreshing.

I am soooooo excited for the 4th! I can't wait! I am trying to get the little things packed now, so I don't forget anything. Like cards, books, magazines, etc. I'll go grocery shopping Monday after work for water, snacks for the ride down, and snacks to get thru the long day on the 4th. We'll go out to lunch on the 4th. We usually finish up the snacks for supper and get a slice of pizza or nachos or something quick from one of the vendors. We try to use up the rest of the food during the day, because then we don't have to lug it back to the car. The 5th will be in Old Orchard. We'll have breakfast at the rest area on the turnpike and then lunch at Lissa's Pizza on the beach under the pier, to officially start off the summer. Ask my kids, and they will tell you, it isn't officially summer until we eat sandy pizza under the pier. We'll also have some pier fries and snack throughout the day. Supper just might be some yummy seafood before we spend the evening riding all the rides at the amusement park on the beach. My goal is to leave Old Orchard around 9 PMish and head for home. We'll be home by 11 and the girls will have to be up for work the next morning at 5 AM! This will be the first time I haven't had a whole day to recuperate from all the traveling, but that is what the weekend will be for! :)

Okay, I have to go do something to my hair before it dries like this! Lee (the pilot) has been emailing me relentlessly. He is trying to talk me into letting him fly me to England so he can buy me a soda, since we have both decided to never drink again! :)

Current Mood: good...I'm growing accustomed to exhaustion!
Current Music: Summer of '69..........Bryan Adams

June 28, 2006

Today is Eric's birthday so make sure everyone wishes him a good one!

The Life of Me

HI everyone.

Yes, I am fine. It was a weird weekend, not to mention I have been just mentally exhausted with worrying about Zach and the flying and him being gone all summer, and I really needed a break. Normally, I blog/write to feel better but this was one of the few times in my life where I just needed to be alone with my thoughts. There was so much swirling going on in my brain that it was hard to even figure out what I needed to write.

I worked all day yesterday and thankfully, Claire was in a good mood. Carl and Iona and I were able to catch up with our news and it all got me back on track again. I filled them in on my weekend and now I will fill all of you in on it, too.

Saturday night, Allison and I were supposed to go to her high school reunion. She didn't realize it was $40 a person. I told Romy I'd loan her the $40 to go, but that I would not be paying $80 for me to hang out with a bunch of people I don't know all evening. She didn't want to go alone, so we decided to go to Margarita's. We were there for about an hour and there was this gorgeous guy hitting on me and he was like, "Hey, why are you girls leaving?" Between you and I, it was the $7 drinks. Plus, his name was Zach. So we moved on to Pete & Larry's.

At Pete & Larry's, the waitress puts another drink in front of me, that I didn't order and said, the gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink. I accepted and told Allison that she was performing the blow job for the drink. I was in a "mood"...anyway, the guys moved over to our side and we talked for most of the night. He was nice. Very good looking. He is a commercial airline pilot for Delta. He's British, but has been in the United States for 14 years.

This is where things get weird. I did not show one bit of interest. I could not find one bit of interest in him within myself. I think Carl and Iona AND Tasha, wanted to slap me up the side of the head and say, Hello! WHAT are you doing? after I told them the story.

Back to the story...he even proposed to me. I tied a cherry stem with my tongue because Allison wanted me to show her how to do it and he said "If you can do that, I will propose to you right now." After I performed, he got down on one knee. Not my first proposal in a bar.

Anyway, Allison was really into him, so every time he asked me to dance, I said no, but Allison wants to. So they danced quite a bit. I was ready to leave and he asked for my email address. I kind of changed the subject, or thought I did, and then he slid his over to me and Allison wrote hers and mine on a napkin for him.

Well, lo and behold, I got an email from him today. He asked if we made it home alright and then told me to tell my friend that he couldn't read her email address, so he can't send her one, and if I wouldn't mind telling her that she won't be getting one. I find if rather humorous that her handwriting was legible enough for him to read mine...I don't think he realized she wrote both of them.

I also ran into my friend Andrea at the bar. We spent most of the night hanging out. I went to church Sunday morning and Ken actually POINTED to me in the parking lot after the service and was like, "And I'll be seeing YOU!" I am not sure what he meant by that but I am asusming I must have looked rather guilty at service that morning. I didn't do anything. I didn't sleep with anyone. I am rather proud of myself. I didn't even email anyone. He emailed ME!

So now, I can't tell Allison. She was going to email him anyway. I'm not going to tell her that he emailed me and told me to tell her that he can't read her handwriting so he can't write to her. I won't tell her because if he really wanted to talk to her, he'd have asked me to verify her email address when he wrote to me. It would just hurt her feelings.

I was so glad to get home Saturday night. Sitting at Pete & Larry's, all I wanted to do was be home with the kids. Granted they weren't home, but I'd rather have been home with them. When we got home, I took the dog outside and I laid down on the grass while she ran around a bit. I hate this in-between feeling. I don't enjoy hanging out at bars anymore. I have just changed and I keep letting my friends talk me into it. "Come on Jenn, you deserve a night away from the kids, blah, blah, blah." One, I don't see it that way. My kids aren't people I wish to "get away" from. Two, the bar scene just isn't my thing anymore. I've been there and done that. I've done the friends with benefits. I've done relationships. I've done one night stands (my choice). I've been the other woman and I have even been cheated on. (I prefer being the other woman, if I had to choose.) I am 33 years old and I feel all partied out. I don't find drunk men the least bit interesting. I am finding it hard to even find a sober man interesting. There has got to be more out there. More of what, I am not sure, but I am very keenly aware that something very important is missing.

Anyway, Tanya, I hope TJ is out of the hospital. Thanks for the message on my machine! It put a smile on my face when I got home! :)

The girls and I are gearing up for our Boston trip. I simply can not wait to be in the city. I am especially looking forward to spending the entire day in Old Orchard on the 5th. The weather is supposed to be fantastic Tuesday and Wednesday next week. There is some major flooding in the DC area where Zach is right now. He is supposed to call me tonight to remind me to feed Basil.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Cruel Summer...........Bananarama

June 25, 2006

I have lots to blog about regarding last night's events but I am mentally exhausted right now and my brain doesn't really want to work too hard to get it into writing.

I will later.

East Prom

East Prom
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

What we did with our time while waiting for his flight to get back on schedule.

Mom & Z

Mom & Z
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Airport

Airport
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

My handsome little boy, trying not to look too nervous.

Hang ON!

Hang ON!
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Sitting on the cannon to air dry after his swim!

Portland Harbor

Portland Harbor
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Up High

Up High
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Zach and Allison

Profiling

While we were waiting the last two hours for Zach's plane to board, it gave me an opportunity to watch the boarding process after 9/11. We probably saw a couple of hundred people board planes while waiting. They had to declare metal things in their carry-ons and luggage, take off their shoes and then go thru a detector. There were two men from the Middle East, who went through the line. Security pulled them aside, I am assuming because they fit a certain profile. One was wearing a large turban. I thought to myself, "If I was going to be a smart terrorist, I might forgo the turban! It isn't exaclty inconspicuious."

I felt kind of bad and scared and happy at the same time watching the process. When I first saw them approach, I was thanking God that they weren't going to be on my son's flight. Then I felt bad, because I reasoned that they were probably two of the nicest people and because of 9/11 and how they look, they have to deal with this at every airport. Not only did they have to remove shoes and declare objects, they had to talk to a security person for approximately 10 minutes about where they were going, why, etc. Their boarding passes were analyzed. They had to remove their shirts and walk through the detector while their shirts were thoroughly checked. Their pants were padded down. This was done in front of all of us. The conversations quieted and everyone became very somber. I think we were all experiencing different feelings about what we were witnessing. About what 9/11 has done to the freedom of everyone. After that, I felt kind of happy. The security shook their hands after the process and the two men were very kind and patient. I got the feeling they were not new to this procedure. I was happy because the process has become safer. At least in Portland, security is taking their job seriously and even my 12 year old had to remove his flip flops and declare his PSP, which still set off the machine. He stood there while security rechecked everything with a scared look on his face. I was thinking, "Oh crap, what did my Tom Sawyer try to sneak on the plane?" I was immediately thinking he tried to smuggle his snake to his dad's. They just figured it was the PSP and put it through again.

Friday Night

What a day. The drive down was uneventful. The car was running beautifully! I even got better gas mileage than I've had when she was newer! Anyway, things went downhill after getting there. Zach's flight was originally supposed to depart at
2:24 PM, but it was delayed until 4 PM. It as about noon, so we headed to the beach. We had a ball down on East Promenade and Zach swam a bit and we took a nice walk and a lot of pictures. We headed back to the airport at 3ish only to find out the flight was delayed again until 5. It was delayed once more until 5:50. I was finally told that it was because the plane was grounded in Atlanta with mechanical problems and then had an emergency landing in Philly, where they were grounded again for mechanical problems. This would be the same plane that my son would be flying out of Portland to Dulles, but I was assured all problems were taken care of. He finally left the ground at 6:10. He made it to Dulles at 8:15 PM.

I was a bawling baby when I sent him thru to his gate. I had everyone in line behind him bawling as they watched us say our goodbyes. I sat looking at him through the glass and he kept waving to me every 30 seconds. He was very nervous, but I reassured him that the roller coasters he loves so much were definitely scarier than flying in a jet.

Allison and I hung out at the mall after. I bought Kayla the movie she has been looking for and I bought the Waltons Season 1 on dvd. We ate at Eggspectations. Allison had never been. She absolutely loved it. I knew she would. I got the Smoked salmon eggs benedict. It was totally awesome. The entire bill for both meals was $26, so I left the very cute waiter a $10 tip since I was planning on a $40 supper anyway.

We had a lot of fun in the Old Port. I can not wait to move to Portland. I love this city on the ocean. It is beautiful and just the right size.

Current Mood: relieved my son is safely on land again and cuddling with his daddy tonight
Current Music: Doctor, Doctor............Robert Palmer

June 22, 2006

I take Zach to the airport tomorrow. He's nervous, but I'm sure he'll be fine. It is only a two hour flight. He'll arrive at Dulles about 4 PM. He is getting grouchy and mean with everyone. This is normal for him. As much as he wants to be with his dad, he will miss his sisters and me, but he tries hard not to show it the last day, so instead he is a jerk and tries to make us mad. It is easier for him to get on the plane when he is mad at us.

I will be glad when the weekend is over. Or at least when Sunday will be here. The girls won't be home until Sunday morning. It has been months since I've spent a weekend without the kids.

I hope the drive to Portland is uneventful.

Current Mood: sad

A Riddle

What is more annoying than one 12-year old boy?

THREE 12-year old boys!

Zach has company this afternoon. Thank the Lord I stopped having kids after having one boy. Thank the Lord he was last, or I probably would not have risked it and never would have had the girls. He is certainly a combination of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn all rolled into one person.

Everything has to be a competition with them. As much as I am going to miss my baby this summer, I will definitely take advantage of the quiet and of the clean house. There will be no wet footprints (from the pool) to contend with, in the hall, in the kitchen for a snack, up the stairs to change into the 3rd set of swimming trunks for the day. There will be no trail of dirty dishes. Nothing in pockets to be sent thru the washer and dryer. Stuff will stay where I put it. I will not have to pick up the yard before I mow it. Water will remain in the pool.

I took Sierra for a walk. We needed to relax away from the boys. She isn't too crazy about this heat. We'll probably take her to the river again tonight to cool down.

And WHY?

And why, women, can we not just jump on the scales and weigh ourselves? No, we have to play little games with ourselves. There are rules to weighing in. No shoes, no purses. Completely naked. No wet hair. After we pee. Never with a full stomach. Minus the weight of each breast. After we've shaved. Before we've exercised (muscle weighs more than fat). NEVER and I mean NEVER during that time of the month.

A man's idea of weighing in? Placing their whole package on a food scale.

June 21, 2006

I never thought yesterday was going to be over. Yahoo is being a pain in the ass today. I just want to check my email.

Terrible news about the two soldiers in Iraq. They are just kids over there. 23 and 25, I think their ages were. They need to send over some pissed off, PMSing, 33 year old women, like I was yesterday. I could have taken on all of Iraq with my mood yesterday.

The dark thunder clouds rolled in right after Hayley's game and you could feel the static electricity in the air. Trees blowing left, clouds blowing right. The kids and I were in the car getting ice cream and I remarked that it looked more like a tornado coming than a thunderstorm. I got like 5 fat water drops on my car. That was it. I guess lots of other places got some heavy rain and 60 mile an hour winds again.

Zach stayed up all last night watching the NBA playoffs. The Heat won. It didn't look like they were going to and were going to have to go to game 7. I stopped watching around 10:30 and fell asleep. Zach woke me up with his screaming..."Noooooooo!" He wanted the Mavericks to win. It is the first time that Pat Riley has won a playoff since 1988. Gee, I think maybe it was the Phil Jackson dynasty that had something to do with that! First with the Bulls and then with the Lakers. I can't believe the Lakers were not in it this year. That is when I stopped watching. Except for last night. Thank the Lord Zach woke me up when he did. I was having a "dream" in which my boss said, "Okay, we're going to organize the learning center together." In my dream, we were sorting thru hundreds of balls of yarn and knitting needles.

This morning, I had another dream that we were at church, only it wasn't our church per se. Anyway, this lunatic was outside shooting the place up. My kids were in another room of the church and I ran to grab them and then head for the basement. For me, that was just a scary dream. Unfortunately, that is the sad reality for lots of people around the world.

I woke up to the headline, "Another Lawyer for Saddam Killed". Apparently, they keep missing their target! Or maybe they are just trying to send him a message! I'm tired, testy and bored of Saddam. Cut to the chase and kill the mofo now. This is why I don't rule the world. I am definitely the "Off with their heads" kind of ruler. Over little things. Slow moving traffic. Repeats on TV. Yahoo being down. My heel being run into by my 12 year old at the grocery store. One tiny cloud in the sky and it hovers directly over the sun, until you go into the house. It moves, you come out, only for it to reverse direction. People who are taking up prison space. A sad reality of this country is that our prisons are safer and better maintained than our homeless shelters. I say, for those who are clearly guilty, way beyond their 3 strikes, you give them 24 hours to reconcile with their maker and then "Off with their heads." And I'm all for medicinal castration for anyone convincted of a violent sex crime. I'd also only give food stamps to those people who HAVE jobs, but still don't make enough money. You don't work, you don't eat. Everyone can do something. I consider motherhood a job and if you are a single mother raising small children, not in school yet, then that is YOUR JOB. And the most important one, at that. This volunteering requirement crap, so the state can pay for your daycare while you volunteer, is for the birds. Who sits around and makes these rules? My theory would apply to mothers already in the system, who are forced to volunteer 20 hours a week in order to continue to receive their benefits. I find this ludicrous because the state then pays for daycare for you to volunteer, on top of the $600 a month in cash they give you and the $400/month in food stamps (this is estimated based on a family of 5). I also think that if you are in the system and have no children, you should not be allowed to procreate. If you're in the system and you have another child, so as to remain in the system, your benefits should not increase. It isn't fair to the people who are busting their butts paying taxes. I also don't think you should be allowed to collect social security disability benefits for your child until they reach a working age (16). I find it a bitter pill to swallow to see parents abuse the system and collect $300 or $400 a month for a child who was born low birth weight. This child can not even work until he is at least 16. I'm not talking about death benefits that are paid monthly to a child if one of his parents die. Check out the Social Security website and see what disabilities qualify. I spent a day trying to find the IQ cut off level so one of my kids could be labeled retarded.

Okay, that was a tangent...sorry.

Current Mood: PMSing...did you notice?
Current Music: I'm Alright...............Kenny Loggins

June 20, 2006

Can June be almost over already? Everyone who knows me, knows I do love summer, but my favorite time of year is early Fall. September and October, when the days are still very warm. Perfect for hiking and picnics, with the low humidity and the bugs are gone and all my kids are home again. Not so crazy with January thru March. Unless I am skiing. The weather was kind of crappy this winter for skiing. More rain than snow. Northern Maine may have gotten nailed with snow, but down here on the coast, the kids didn't even get a snow day from school. I can't complain too much. I saved money because I wasn't buying lift tickets and I saved money because I didn't spend so much on heating the house this year.

Kayla has been talking more and more about California. She keeps asking me about my trips out there. It would make her life if I just woke her up one day and said, "Kayla, pack your stuff. We're moving!" She is definitely a California girl! She is tall, blond, and dark skinned, with pretty blue eyes. I got pregnant with her in California, so I guess those roots go deep. Zach used to want to go to UCLA and then Stanford Medical School, though now he's talking Virginia Tech. Hayley will be happy to go wherever there are boys. All three really like the Fredricksburg (VA) area and Virginia beach area, too. We'll go wherever the Lord leads us.

I have always thought that wherever we end up, we will have the 4th of July in Boston. I figure, they could be anywhere in the world, with their families or friends, but on this one day, we all make it to Boston for the 4th. I love traditions and I love that this has become one of them with our family. What started out as a spur of the moment trip with 4 friends has turned into a place to reunite and watch the generations grow. In 6 years, Zach will be 18. Kayla will be 22. Hayley will be 21. There is a good chance that grandmotherhood will be within sight at that time. I can wait, but I can't wait. I will be the best grandmother in the world. My grandkids will be very well-traveled. I will be taking them on cruises, to Disney World, African safaris, to Europe and anywhere else they want to go.

Oh well, back to reality. I have to go to work after Zach gets home. I have some projects I am working on at the Learning Center. Weeding thru my curriculum material and tossing out anything that isn't relevant. I also have some cumbersome furniture that's taking up too much room, so I am going to have the boys lug it down to the basement.

Another beautiful day. Sunny and already in the 80's at 9 in the morning. The state had some bad thunderstorms yesterday, but they were to the north of us. We never got a drop of rain.

Hayley has her first soccer game today at 4 PM. She's excited, but exhausted because she has to get up at 5 AM to go to work, so we'll see how it goes. Not much of a summer for us, with the girls and I working. Kayla will be taking driver's ed in about 3 weeks. Hayley will be 15 in about 3 weeks. I don't know if 15 year olds can take driver's ed anymore or not. I was 15. I'll have to investigate, because if she can, it'll make sense to get them both done now. I can't imagine having my girls driving. Ahhhhh, I will have 2 chauffeurs to pick from! :) Of course, my car insurance will likely reduce me to tears.

Current Mood: great
Current Music: Mirror............Barlow Girl

Monday

Nothing terribly exciting going on today. I'm not enjoying these early mornings, driving the girls to work, but they are excited to have good paying jobs for the summer. It is more humid today, than the last two days. Still about 90. We're are supposed to get a thunderstorm. I missed Tanya's call last night. I was passed out in bed by the time she called and I got her message this morning. I spent most of my time this weekend in the sun and water and like a little kid, I crash hard after days like that. The kids and I had a great time at the beach with Erin.

So plans have changed just a bit. The girls won't be going with me to take Zach to the airport, but my friend Allison is going. Instead of heading back to Bangor right away, we'll shop at the mall and hang out in the Old Port. Depending on what is going on, we may or may not be spending the night and heading back to Bangor. Saturday night, I am going with her to her high school reunion. We'll do fine as long as she doesn't talk. The last time I was her "date" at her brother's wedding, I spent the entire evening explaining that, "Yes, Allison is bisexual, but I am not, nor have I ever been, her girlfriend." Then the knowing glances, "Oh, so you know her from group, then?" "No, I am not gay, and no, I do not have more than one personality."

She just can't be crazy in her head like everyone else. She can't keep anything on the down low. Her family and her closest friends, of whom I am one, are a bit skeptical of her "mental illness". I love her and would support her through anything, but her illness only becomes noticable when it is convenient to her cause. Like when someone tries to break up with her, or when she is failing a semester in school, or doesn't want to drive back from BOSTON on the 4th of July...EVER!!! But she is just fine when a bunch of us are going to go bar hopping and she has been designated as the sober driver because she can't drink because she takes too much medication for all of her personalities. All of a sudden, her mental illness disappears and she can drink again and be normal again. Her "personalities" are pretty much carte blanche for her to say and do whatever she wants because she will always blame her alter, Charlotte. One alter, in particular, is considerably and increasingly annoying to me. Allison will wake up in the morning with messages all over her arms and legs and she says she doesn't remember writing on herself. So one night, a bunch of us were drinking at my house, and after she passed out, we wrote messages all over her body and when she woke up, she completely flipped out...why? Because this time, she really DIDN'T remember writing on herself. Or she will email you in the middle of the night, or IM you, only she's not Allison, she is Charlotte.

All of that being said, she has always been there for me and has been with me through my most horrible break-ups and hangovers, always makes sure I am taken care of when we go out drinking. I don't drink like that anymore. Ironically, since I've gotten "better", she is the one who has taken a turn for the worse. It was like, as long as she was helping me out, she was able to keep it together.

Anyway, she is always good for a laugh. She is just naturally funny, without really trying to. But the funniest times, unfortunately for her, are when she gets hurt. She is a major klutz and it is so hard not to laugh when you see her go down. She was at work one day (she's a baker) and a giant pot fell off the top shelf and hit her on the head. I got a call from the emergency room to pick her up. I had to call our other friend Stacie, who had already left work to get her at a different hospital. We thought there was a major emergency. Our friend Cookie was the one that informed us that she was just hit in the head with a pot. We couldn't even talk we were laughing so hard. By the time we got to the hospital, we were falling down laughing, and poor Allison had this bag of ice on her head and the doctor is trying to tell us how to take care of her.


Well, I am going to read and try to stay cool.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Belladonna.............Stevie Nicks

Beach Hair

Beach Hair
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

After being in the water all day, and then air drying, Zach's hair would not lay down flat. It was beautiful at the beach. 90 degrees and hardly a cloud in the sky. The humidity even held off until today. The haze has crept in today.

Zach

Zach
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Blocking my sun.

Not So Cool

I'm really not as cool as I once thought. You want proof? I'm watching Brokeback Mountain. I feel like a prepubescent 5th grader in Sex Ed for the first time. "Ewwwww...you do what with WHAT?" Admittedly, I am a heterosexual (big surprise) but I don't consider myself naive, and I have lots of gay friends. As far as gay porn, I don't mind seeing movies with two girls. However, I was ill-prepared for the sex scene in the movie. I'm not sure why. I felt like I should have been started out slow, like with some scenes of them making out and leaving the rest to the viewers imagination, it worked for Lucy and Desi and Mike and Carol, Minnie and Mickey, instead of BAM! Heath Ledger is lubing up his parts with his own spit to nail Jay. I will never be the same again. I'm sure Kayla and I are funny to watch, while we're watching the movie. There is a scene where they are rolling on the ground, fighting-like. I go, "Are they fighting or flirting?" Kayla started laughing and said, "I'm not sure anymore. It is hard to tell now when I see two guys rolling on the ground with a lasso and whip." Anne Hathaway is in the movie. Not my Princess!!! "Her daddy sells BIG farm equipment." That is what the bartender tells Jay. That is all he needs to hear! Oh, Man! I've just seen her boobs! This is the girl from the Princess Diaries. This is like finding out what Ariel looks like beneath her mermaid tail!

Sierra on the River

Sierra on the River
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

On the Penobscot River. We live across the street from the river.

A Boy, A Dog, A River

A Boy, A Dog, A River
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Zach and Sierra on the river.

Weird

Larry just called. He called me from home. Okay, when you've had an affair with someone, especially a long-time one (7 years) like I had, even if you aren't seeing each other anymore, calling them from your home phone is probably not the most wise! Like Marilyn doesn't check out the phone bill? I guess he could just say that he was calling everyone who bought those $100 raffle tickets, but still...and of course, the minute I hear him on the phone, and realize it is not his cell phone, I immediately jump to conclusions like, Oh shit! Marilyn knows and she is on her way down and this is the warning call. So while all of those thoughts are running thru my head, my mouth is saying, "So what's up? What do you want?" He's like, "Nothing. Just thinking about you and wanted to know what you were doing right now. How's your love life?"

Ummmm, okay. I laid in the sun all day, went swimming in the pool and took a nap. And my love life is as exciting as ever! Read my blog!

Dy-no-mite

Zach and I are watching Napoleon Dynamite for the hundreth time! My favorite part is during the opening credits, when you see a card in his wallet. It is a business card that says UFO Alien Abduction Insurance. It always makes me think of Eric. A lot like Styx.

Friday

Eric's grandfather died yesterday morning. I think he's surprised everyone with how long he's lasted. So everyone, keep their family in your prayers.

Other than that bit of sadness, things are going pretty well. Kayla and Hayley started a week early at their job. I am having to get them to work at 6 AM. So much for sleeping in and enjoying a few days off! I am only sad when I think about Zach leaving next Friday. Today and tomorrow are going to be GORGEOUS!!! Hot, humid, sunny, 90's!!! We're spending the whole day at the beach tomorrow! Today, I think we're going to just chill out here in the pool. I don't want to be gone from Sierra two whole days in a row. She'll be in all day tomorrow, while we're at the beach. It is cooler inside, though and she'll be happier, even though she might not like to think she'll be happier. Because her fur is so short, she doesn't do well in the sun...she gets quite pink and I'm not sure if they make doggie sunblock. I'm sure if they do, it'll appear on my Adsense. Doggie Sunblock. Doggie Sunblock. You have to say it a few times to work. Unfortnately, there aren't a lot of beaches around that encourage dogs. I can always take her out to the lake, and visit my grandparents. We're taking her swimming in the river this evening. She is such a good girl.

So the kids and I are going to enjoy one last full weekend together for awhile. Next Friday, if it is sunny, we'll leave early AM and head to Old Orchard Beach and then get Zach to the airport by 1:45 PM. After the plane takes off, the girls and I will head to the mall and then home. They'll be with their dad for the rest of the weekend and Allison and I are going to hang out. If it is sunny, then Jenkin's Beach.

Sunday night, Shannon, Zach and I went to church together. On the way home, Zach waved to every car and every pedestrian. He was "collecting" waves, he said, to practice for his career in politics. He only got 6 waves. 4 in Veazie. One in Bangor. None in Orono. One in Old Town. He's decided that Orono is the least friendly neighborhood! Oh, and yesterday, to be a smartass, we were running errands and I had the windows down and there was this upper middle-aged looking man, jogging, and I had to stop so he could pass in front of my car. He was just wearing shorts, no shirt. Not too big of a deal, because he kept moving, but Zach leans over and wolf whistles him. Obviously, the guy thought I did it!

Anyone heard about Bush's new flub-up? He's on the White House lawn, answering questions and it was a cloudy day. There was one guy wearing shades and Bush was teasing him about being "cool" and how he wished he could be cool like that. Come to find out, the guy was BLIND! Not completely...he suffers from macular degeneration and is very sensitive to light. I'm telling you, Bush is getting screwed in every directions...BY HIMSELF! You almost have to feel sorry for the guy.

Tonight is movie night. There are a couple we want to rent. Nanny McPhee, Memoirs of a Geisha (I might hold off on this one for Allison and I to watch next weekend) and some other ones that I can't think of, but I will remember when I get there. Aquamarine was very cute. Kayla and I loved it. Hayley was at my brother's so she hasn't seen it yet. I'll probably buy it for her because she loves movies like that. Kayla is good for once or twice but Hayley will watch it over and over. And then over and over again! She drives her sister crazy! I know Kayla is going to miss Zach because every night this week she has said, "I can't wait until you are finally gone!"

I ran 3 miles, 3 times this week. I haven't entered in any road races for over a year. So I thought it was time to get back into my groove. My last road race was the Susan B. Komen. In the past, I typically would run 3 or 4 a year and the UMaine Triathlon. I've competed in that 2 times. I was coerced really. I was working for the Athletic department and they were putting on the race and Thad wanted more participants so he signed up his wife and kids and talked me into it. If I wasn't going to be racing in it, he was going to have me working at it. That is a pain in the ass. I got roped into that a few times, too. He drops you off in the middle of the woods or on a road somewhere so you can tell people which way to go and you're on your own until someone hopefully remembers to come back for you. I worked two of those in the RAIN! His daughter Whitney just graduated high school last week. When I started at the gym, she was 10 or 11. Crazy. Kids grow up so fast. I will be the mother of an 18 year old in a year and a half!

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: How You Remind Me..........Nickleback

No Make-up

No Make-up
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Me on vacation. Sweats, tee-shirt and no make-up, trying to get away from my dog! It's not working.

Sierra & Mommy

Sierra & Mommy
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

A cute one of Sierra. I look like my mother in this one...eek!

Darren & Gabby

Darren & Gabby
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

My brother and my niece Gabby. I love it when she tells my brother to stop being a big baby! :) "Daddy, you're a big baby!" She usually says this, crying, after he's told her not to do something.

Sarah

Sarah
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

This is Hayley's friend Sarah. We were all singing karaoke this night. The iMovie of it is funnier than the pictures. It will come in handy for blackmail!

Little Freak

Little Freak
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

I'm sure every family has one. I don't know what possesses him to dress like this and dance around the living room!

Zach & Sierra

Zach & Sierra
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Zach is trying to watch the basketball game on the couch. Sierra decided to get comfortable.

Vonnegut

I am currently reading Kurt Vonnegut's Bluebeard. I haven't read Vonnegut in a long while and it is almost like I am rediscovering him. One of my favorite authors. I LOVE his author's note: This is a novel, and a hoax autobiography at that. It is not to be taken as a responsible history of the Abstract Expressionish school of painting...It is a history of nothing but my own idiosyncratic responses to this or that.

This is going to be a quick read. All of the good ones usually are.

Thursday

Paris Hilton is going to be on The View today. I think I am probably one of the few women that like her. She cracks me up. She is someone the old party girl I used to be, would have had fun being friends with. When I watch The Simple Life, their antics always bring back to mind things my friends and I used to do. It is fun to revisit the good times once in awhile.

Pondering

The movie was great! The two Napoleon Dynamites sitting in the front row were a little over-enthusiastic, but hey, to each his own, I guess! However, while Kayla and I were sitting in the car, waiting for Zach's movie to get out, we noticed several women walk out and with them, a midget (small person, someone who's vertically challenged, whatever...I'm not quite sure what is PC anymore) anyway...this prompted a conversation. Has anyone else noticed the booming midget population in the Old Town area? There are 3 at the high school. One in Orono. And now this new woman in town. In the olden days, maybe you might see one every so often, but in my town, they are like VW Beetles...around every corner. There is nothing wrong with it, I'm not making fun of them...I'm just wondering what is in my water.

6/13/06

It's been a nice, fairly quiet day. I got some laundry done. 4 loads. My belt broke on my washer and I am waiting for the repair man to call me back to give me a quote and to set up a time to come and fix it. Not a terribly big deal. The washer is 12 years old. It doesn't owe me a thing. It has been used heavily from me and from various friends who've done laundry here to save at the laundromat. If it is going to cost more than $100 to fix, then I will be buying a new one. They aren't too expensive.

Hayley's first soccer game is Tuesday, the 20th. They play regular games at the Union St. Soccer Complex all summer and have pick-up games at the LMS soccer field Thursday and Sunday nights, all in preparation for the fall soccer season. She'll be a freshman in the fall and wants to do soccer. Kayla doesn't do any sports except swim team, but that is in the winter months. Kayla will be a sophomore. I can't believe I have two kids in high school now! My baby's in his second year of middle school. Time for me to have another one, I think. Or at least gear up for adopting.

I was seriously considering a sperm donor, however, there is a very odd manager guy at Movie Gallery, and I am going to most-unChristianlike for a moment. He is short (5'6 or 5'7), soda bottle glasses, and his legs are normal from the thigh to his knees, but then they flare out. He looks like he could be the brainy sort, but at his age (he looks like he is in his late 20s, early 30s) if he were smart, he wouldn't be working and WALKING to work at the Movie Gallery. My point to all of this, is whenever I think of artificial insemination, my brain conjures up a vision of him. Just the thought of him rubbing one out is enough to keep me celibate, or at least orgasm-free for a long, long time. But you know how it is when you don't want to think about something, and then you can't help but think about it? It doesn't help much that I am in that Movie Gallery at least once a week.

The kids and I are going to the movies tonight. Two of us are going to see RV and one (Zach) is going to see Cars. Hayley is at my brother's house for the week.

Freaky

My son has some real walkie talkies that we use in Boston or on hikes and what-have-you...they supposedly have a 5-mile radius. We've never tested them for more than 2 miles, so I don't know if that is a legitimate claim or not. Anyway, we charge them during the day and he usually takes one with him when he is out playing in the woods or down the street. Lately, while both handsets are in the charger, someone else has been calling them. Obviously, this kid and Zach are using the same channel, but it is kind of weird. We'll be sitting in the living room watching t.v. and all of a sudden, the kid on the other end starts talking. They've finally exchanged names...Zach and Tyler, but Zach doesn't know him from the neighborhood. Directly across the river from us, probably less than a quarter mile away, is the Main Rd. in Bradley. A completely different town. The bridge doesn't cross the river to get into Bradley for about 3 miles, and to get directly across from us, that is probably another 4 or 5 miles, so potentially, this kid could live 7 or 8 miles away by car.

4th Plans

This has been an early day. I've been up since 6 AM. I'm getting used to waking up early. It is certainly a way to get that extra hour added onto your day.

Allison and I have been making our 4th of July plans. We go to Boston every year. We started going way back when I was 26. I've missed two years but am anxious to get back. In the spirit of our first 4th of July there, we like to fly by the seat of our pants. It all started with a group of 4. Allison, Stacie, Lynette and myself. On the 3rd of July that year, Stacie was like, "Let's just go!" With little planning, and little knowledge of what to expect, we headed out that night at around 7 or 8 PM. Lots of adventures happened that first trip down (getting lost in Ipswich, Mass, bringing the metal baseball bat for protection, betting Allison and Stacie that Lynette and I would have a date to be on one of the yachts by the time the fireworks went off...we had the date by mid-morning!) By now, we're old pros at it and have it down to a science, even getting the same parking spot every year. Each year, new people come with us. Lynette doesn't go anymore. Stacie goes every year with Cookie, and so it is usually just Allison and I and whomever we bring along. One year, Desaraye came, my very 9-month pregnant friend Melissa came, Hayley's been...she saw LeAnn Rimes there with me, Kayla saw Barry Manilow with us and she absolutely hates the fact that she has had to see this man in concert! We've seen Don McClain, Cyndi Lauper, Arlo Guthrie, various Miss Americas, of course the infamous Boston Pops, with conductor Keith Lockhart...last year, Big and Rich played along with Gretchen Wilson.

The rules of the trip are simply to have the fewest concrete plans as possible. A sure way to ruin the trip for me is having anything written in stone. The beauty of the trip is to be open to any and all options. Sometimes we get a hotel on the 3rd in Boston, but that has proven to be detrimental to getting a good spot because it is so easy to hit the snooze button in a cozy hotel room and not get in line for the concert until 7ish...way too late. Pros begin lining up the night before. We've discovered that as long as your in line by 5, you should be in the first couple of rows. Most years, we're in around the 2nd row, but honestly, my preferred spot is about 12 makeshift rows back. You have better views of the fireworks after the show. Also, part of the fun of the trip is running on little sleep.

My most favorite trips are the ones when we've headed down about 10 PM the night before and been in our parking spot by 2 AM. We doze until about 4:30...then we grab our essentials and head for the line in the park, where you rest in line until they open the gates. In the past, before 9/11, you were able to rush the field for the best spot, but since 9/11, everyone has to go thru metal detectors and have their bags checked and you get a bracelet. After marking off your spot with tarps and blankets (trust me, after spending almost 24 hours with your people, you'll want almost a blanket for each person, and that will STILL be too close to each other) you get to spend your day exploring Boston and trying to keep cool. It is breezy down by the river and it is a carnival like atmosphere all over the city. We find the Starbucks, ride the T back and forth, eat lunch, get hosed down by the City's firetrucks, buy souveniers, etc. It is important to regroup around 5ish...at this point, the crowd has reached anywhere from 400,000-800,000 people. The concert starts around 8. The fireworks go off at 10:30 PM. They play the 1812 overture during the fireworks and use real cannons that make your heart feel like it will stop and your eardrums will blow. All of the fireworks are orchastrated to music. It is such a patriotic moment that it brings tears to even the most hardened anarchist. It is a magical time and a moment to share with your most treasured friends and family. It makes all of the long hours of the day leading up to the concert worth every second. That memory is what keeps you coming back every year.

After the fireworks, either we head back to the hotel, OR we drive back to Maine. I prefer to make the short drive back to Kittery. If the weather is going to be nice, I like to do this, and catch a few zzzz's at the rest area in Kittery, then wake up early and head to Old Orchard for the day. Usually at this point, I try to lose Allison on the beach and demand she find her own ride home! :) In my defense, I've never left her there! Or in Connecticut, or in New Jersey, or in Rhode Island...though I've been tempted.

Kids

My kids are funny. My 12 year old nephew Cody is spending the week with us. Kayla and I were going to run some errands and we wanted salads for supper. Zach and Cody wanted pizza. I took them out to eat last night, so I said, NO! Cody has $25 on him, so he and Zach said they'd get their own supper. This entailed them walking to the nearest pizza joint about a mile and a half down the street. Cody is a weird little boy. Weird in the sense that he mowed crop circles in my yard for me when I got home from work. Together they are super weird. Kayla and I drove by them, to make sure they made it to the pizza place and they were sitting inside, huddled together on the bench, awaiting their order. They then carried the pizza home and ate it here, instead of just eating it there. I come home to them making cookies and Zach calling himself Betty Cocker...Betty cRocker, Zachary. What do I expect when this is the kid, when packing his clothes for the summer, yelled down the stairs, "Hey, who took my stack of Fruit of the Looms?" Except he called them Fruit of the Loams. Being the only boy in our immediate family, I'm sure his sisters and I did not touch the stack! He also calls Subarus...Sub-a-roos. I'm not certain where he gets his reading skills.

Sunday Night

At church tonight, I looked over and my friend Annie was sitting a couple of people down from me. Annie was one of my drinking buddies from about age 28-31. I got saved shortly before my 31st birthday and stopped drinking every Friday night. Friday nights were my nights without the kids, so Allison and I would head to "our" bar Mulligan's and meet up with Annie and the rest of the crew. Annie has been saved since March. It was so great seeing her. She and I and her two kids, along with two of mine and my nephew Cody, all had supper tonight after church. We ate at the Coach House. Her little boy Caleb, who I haven't seen since he was about 6 months old, is now a very talkative 3 1/2 year old. He has quickly become my best friend.

Caleb: You're beautiful! Cute, too!
Me: Oh, thank you Caleb. You are pretty handsome yourself!
Caleb: Thanks. You know, I really don't like my mom, can I go home with you?
Me: Well, I love your mom and I think she would miss you very much!
Caleb: Maybe. I guess I'll give her another chance.

And her little girl Zoey is beautiful. She is almost 2. White blond hair and big blue eyes. She looks a lot like Jenna, Erin. SOOOO cute. She sat next to me and kept opening her mouth for my croutons. "More, pease" she'd say. She and Caleb ended up helping me eat most of my salad. She loved Zach. They both loved Kayla. Caleb was on ketchup patrol. "Hey guys, let me know if anyone needs more ketchup."

God truly works in mysterious ways. I was feeling a bit down last night and today because with the loss of Brian is the loss of all of my friends thru him. Of course, they still like me, they know none of this is my fault, they want me and Brian to work out, but still...they're his friends. And Amy is in Ohio. Allison is always in and out of the loony bin. Eric works the graveyard shift and Erin and I are often times too lethargic from dealing with kids all day to have the kind of energy required to pick up the phone and call to do stuff. Lynette lives in Ellsworth now, and has just had a baby. Charlie lives in the Augusta area now. Anyway, so I was feeling down and then this morning at church, my brother's wife showed up. It has given us something to talk about and to connect with. Then when I was mowing the lawn today, my other sister-in-law called.

Julie: What are you doing?
Me: Mowing the lawn.
Julie: When are you going to church?
Me: We're leaving here about 5:30.
Julie: Do you think you could leave earlier and come over and bring some hair dye?
Me: What did you do?
Julie: I had my hair highlighted and it turned into a pumpkin color. So I went back to have her fix it and it is still awful. Will you come over and help me fix it?
Me: Sure, when do you want me?
Julie: Is now okay?
Me: I'm on my way.

So we headed back to Brewer to fix Julie's hair. Two trips to the store for hair dye and then her hair turned GREY! I was running late for church, so I left and told her I'd pray for her and that I'd be back at 7:30. While I was gone, she went and dyed her hair back to dark brown, only now instead of being just dark brown like it used to be, there are some greys in it.

At church, I ran into Annie and we've made plans to go on the church picnic together next weekend at Lamoine Beach. So for a day that started out lonely, I realized how very lucky I am. A phone call last weekend from Tanya. A phone call this weekend from Amy. Catching up with Annie. Starting a friendship with my sister-in-law Mandy. Continuing my friendship with my sister-in-law Julie.

Current Mood: very happy
Current Music: Legacy............Nichole Nordeman

6/11/06

Went to bed with a bad headache and woke up with a bad headache. I almost didn't go to church this morning. I really was not feeling well. I definitely wasn't feeling "it" this morning, but Ken was gone all last week, so I wanted to be part of the welcome back crowd this morning.

I saw my boyfriend at church. Like I said, I was not feeling well, so I headed over to my seat, not really paying attention to anything or anyone. I looked up and of course, he was watching me. I smiled and found my seat. Later on, a girl that I've noticed before was checking him out when she walked in. I was like, "Hey! He is MY boyfriend. Put your eyes back in your head and lose some weight in the lower half of your body!" Not very Christian-like I know! Then of course, she had to pretend to go to the bathroom or whatever and had to walk right by him. She said hi to him, and he said something back, but he didn't take his eyes away from my direction. Later during the sermon, I was feeling quite convicted because I knew I was taking my eyes off of my ultimate goal, which is my relationship with Jesus Christ. So at this point, I was feeling pretty darn crappy. I was sick, I was convicted, and I was ready to break up with my boyfriend because I am not competing with every girl in the place for his attention. I'm not interested, nor do I have the time or energy. That's when Ken starts talking in his sermon about beauty queens and how the runner-up always pretends to be happy for the other girl, when secretly she hates her and wants to scratch her eyes out. All of a sudden, I start thinking, Okay, how many people saw my thoughts about this girl on my face, other than my pastor? So now I am feeling like I am doubting my faith because earlier, I had decided that God will work everything out in my life like it is supposed to work out, and here I am already giving up because God of course, can't do something as big as straighten out my relationship life. Just when all was almost lost, I looked up and my brother's wife was coming towards me. I've been praying that my brothers and their significant others would get saved. This particular brother has problems with alcohol and he and I are the ones who've beared the brunt of my dad's illness. I can't describe how happy I was to see her. I must point out I've never liked her, because she's cheated on my brother and is just flakey and not someone I would like, and admittedly, it would take an act of God to get me to love her. So imagine my surprise when I was so overwhelmed with happiness to see her. I gave her a genuine hug and asked how long she'd been coming and she said that today was her first day. I told her that I had been praying that they'd come to church. I even showed her the bookmark in my Bible, which is my niece Gaby (their daughter). There isn't a whole lot of point to any of this other than to me that was the reminder I needed that God is always faithful.

Current Mood: good, but I need to take some medicine for this headache.
Current Music: My Heart Goes Out............Warren Barfield

Saturday Night

I feel renewed. Much better after getting out and then taking an invigorating shower.

I talked with one of my best friends, Amy, on the phone today. She is presently living in Ohio, attending law school. I love unexpected phone calls with people I love. Amy and I have been friends for 10 years. Anyway, she was like, "What are you doing August 7th?"....."Um, gee, Amy, I don't know. I don't think I have any plans as of yet!" She wanted to know if I would attend her wedding! She and Jeremiah broke up and now she is marrying someone else! She thought she had me on the shock meter until I informed her that I doubt Brian would be attending the nuptials. "YOU AND BRIAN BROKE UP?" Why this surprises her, I do not know. The more distant I get from the situation, the more I am surprised that we were even together as long as we were. Anyone who has endured a long depression and then come out on the other side, must know how I feel. It wasn't my depression, but I certainly lived it with him and I am just so glad to be away from all of the gloom. Even when he was in a good mood, I was always waiting for the other shoe to fall. Always walking on eggshells. It certainly wasn't all bad. There certainly were more good times than not, and I'll carry those precious memories with me till the day I die, but I will not miss the dark cloud that follows him everywhere.

Anyway, congratulations Amy! I miss you and I love you and I can't wait to see you soon! :)

I need to go blow dry my hair. Until tomorrow then!

Current Mood: very good
Current Music: Breathe Your Name.......Sixpence None the Richer

Saturday Afternoon

I'm not sure what it is about getting a goodnight's sleep that causes me to be drained the next day. It is 3:30 PM and I could lay down for a nap. I fell asleep last night around 10. I slept very well. Was awake by 8:30 AM. On the days that I have less sleep...say 10-6 for instance...I feel much more energized during the day.

I've even had two caffeine ladened beverages already to no avail. Methinks I should take the dog for a run. We're going stircrazy with all of this rain.

My room has been cleaned. I've read for almost 2 hours. I've watched two World Cup soccer games. That was torture, don't you know it! Watching beautifully-toned men racing up and down a soccer field.


Okay, off for my jog.

June 10, 2006

It is RAINING! Please make it stop!

Today's list of stuff to do:

Watching the World Cup...Paraguay vs. England (My aunt spent 2 years in the Peace Corps in Paraguay so I am kind of rooting for them, BUT on the England team there is David Beckham...he is such a fine looking man. His wife isn't too shabby either...Posh Spice aka Victoria)
Clean my room
Organize my room (bookshelves, desktop computer, dressers and wardrobe, various ski equipment, golf clubs, etc.)
Read
Tan
Go to Borders

MacBook Here I Come!

I love my iBook. I have loved it well. It is my entire life all rolled up in a little notebook size computer. It has my iTunes, which I load onto my iPod. It has all of my iPhotos and a video library of all of my iMovies that the kids make with the mini-DV camera and edit themselves on the iBook. It has my manucript and other various writings. It has my master calendar. It is my portable dvd player. It has my Bible loaded on in King James Version which is the version I PREFER. (I liken it to reading Shakespeare...it really isn't the same when you read the Cliff's Notes version.) It is the keeper of my all-time high SNOOD scores. It is much smaller and more stream-lined than any monster-sized laptop that is running Windows. And oh how I love my OS X operating system. BUT...I just found the newest love of my life. A brand new MacBook. It will be my newest gift to myself for me, from me. It presently runs OS X AND XP and should have no problem switching to Vista when it is ready. I get all excited when I think of all of the blogging, chatting and emailing we will do together.

6/9/06

I am so glad today is over. What a long day. I am so glad today is Friday. The kids and I are looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow.

The plan last weekend was to relax and I succeeded until Saturday night. I couldn't take it anymore so the kids and I went out to eat at Ruby's and apparently missed Erin and her family! :) We also did some shopping. This weekend, Carl and I decided, will be THE weekend to talk to my guy at church. Wish me luck.

I get to hold onto Zach for an extra week. His flight is now leaving on the 23rd instead of the 16th. One extra week! :) That makes me happy! We're leaving early that morning, spending the day at Old Orchard, then taking him to the airport, then the girls and I and two of their friends are going to spend some time at the Portland Mall! YIPPEE!

Now I have to figure out what we're having for din-din. Last Sunday, I made homemade mac and cheese. The kids loved it. Lately we've been having pizza delivered on Fridays, but maybe I'll cook something.

Current Mood: a little happy, a little cranky from being tired
Current Music: I'm actually not listening to any right now.

6/9/06

I got the pictures yesterday, Tanya! :) The littlest one of the three of you is so sweet, but I like all of them and can't decide on a favorite. Tatyana is absolutely adorable. What a little beauty queen! She has gorgeous eyes! And of course, her little smile! That's what I love about kids the most at this age, their smiles are always genuine.

More Blogging

Two girls are home from school already. Hayley and her friend Sarah. The other three will be home shortly. They are taking the bus. Hayley and Sarah didn't want to stick around for the school award ceremony, so they called to be picked up early. Kayla and Shannon will be taking the high school bus and Zach is staying for the awards and will be taking the middle school bus.

One of my many pet peeves of mine...parents who whine about being a PARENT! I can understand if you had one child and realized, "Hey, this isn't really for me, so I'll stop with just this one and do my best for the next 18 years." This is directed at people who maybe didn't learn that lesson. I can't help but want to give them some contraceptive advice.

I'm not talking about the occasional bad day rant...I'm talking about people that are clearly not happy being parents, that have more than one child.

Baby Shiloh

I just saw the new pics. I'm not a big fan of the couple and I must be one of the few women for whom Brad does NOT do it for, but I am a sucker for babies. What a sweetie! It is only fitting that in American News, this story follows the news of Al-
Zarqawi.

Now when Viggo and I procreate...watch out!!! :)

I can't wait to see A Prairie Home Companion.

I have another amendment to a previous post. About the whale one. On further investigation of the article, I read that the reason why this was such a rare find and why it made it on the front page was because it was a Sperm whale. They are found all over the world, but because they are deep divers, they tend not to come terribly close to the coast. They suspect it died after a collision with a ship and was rotting in the harbor causing a terrible stench to permiate the sea breeze. YUM!

6/8/06

The last day of school for the kids. Too bad it is rainy. They only have a half day today. Next week, the weather is supposed to be beautiful.

Al-Zarqawi was killed in an air-raid. Too bad it wasn't Bin Laden. It is hard to get too excited about it. We can expect even more vicious retaliation. I'm sure there are many more waiting to fill his shoes. I still get chills when I see the video of Nick Berg.

Thanks!

I would like to thank my newest reader for posting in my comments about 5 posts down. Your compliments are very nice, thank you. I am always so surprised when people bother to read what I write and even more surprised when they take the time to comment. I'm very glad Tanya and Teresa stopped by and decided to stay! :)

Writing (and reading) for me is like breathing. What I find so satisfying about a blog is that my "journal" talks back. It lets me know when I am right on the mark and when I am being a little too sanctimonious. Be warned though, my writing is often an up close and personal view of my thought process and is often times a work in progress.

6/7/06

Wednesday is here. Wednesdays are my fun days. My "I don't have to run" days. I get to spend my morning relaxing, taking my time getting ready. I don't have to be anywhere I don't want to be until 2 PM when I go get the kids. I work at the center 3-5:30 and then church 6-7:30.

Let's see if I can say more than one word to my cute boy at church tonight. So far I've managed to say "Thanks" to him. Today I'd like to try, "Hi, my name is Jennifer." If I think too much about it though, I'll get nervous and then my palms will get sweaty and just thinking about it right now, my palms are getting sweaty.

Speaking of sweat...last night was so weird. I was reading my book in bed and Zach was in there watching a movie. He fell asleep and I was like, whatever, he's too big to carry upstairs, he's fine where he is. I looked over at him, thinking, he still has that little boy cuteness, but he's growing up fast. Literally, two minutes later, I looked back over to him because he was mumbling something. His head was soaked and he had sweat running down all over him. I tried to wake him up, but he wouldn't wake up. He stood up, turned on the fan, went upstairs into his sister's room and grabbed the phone away from her. She was talking to her boyfriend. He hung up the phone and went back downstairs, with Kayla chasing after him. We still could not wake him up at all. He laid back down on my bed, talking but not in English. Wasn't even mumbling. He clearly was speaking, but I couldn't recognize any words. He has no recollection of any of the events last night.

A forty or so ton whale washed up on the coast and made the front page today. A 40-ton carcass that has been rotting for a month. Great for people who like to enjoy their paper with their morning breakfast. I don't know why people find this so surprising. Maine has a good size coastline. Whales do live in the ocean. Whales do die in the ocean. It was bound to happen that one of them might get swept to shore in the tide current. Whales are pretty common in our waters. You can take a daily whalewatch trip right from Bar Harbor. They even guarantee the tickets. You either see a whale or they refund your money, or give you more tickets for another date at your convenience. Once a beluga whale swam upstream and got caught in the Penobscot in Bangor. That was surprising and exciting. You don't often see whales in a river. Maybe the surprising fact is that there should be MORE whales washing up on shore and it doesn't ever happen. Anyway, BIG news in Bangor today.


Current Mood: very good
Current Music: All Out of Love.............Air Supply

Still 06/06/06

It was a good night at the center. We had pizza for supper. I'm pretty tired, though. Zach is swimming in the pool right now. All of my kids enjoy their evening swims. They used to love it when they were younger and I would let them swim naked at night!

I have a quarterly report due June 10th. :( I have another one due in August.

Zach just came in and put on some sweats to warm up and turned around and asked, "Mom, do these make my butt look fat?" He is a weird little boy.

My friend Sean is relentless. I think the Afghanistanian heat is getting to him:

armyman2013: wish i could see you
jennluvsgable: probably not today you wouldn't...i'm exhausted
armyman2013: doesnt matter
armyman2013: want to see you so bad
armyman2013: keep thinking of coming home and what i want to do
armyman2013: want to see you

Okay, I need to go catch up on my reading if I want to be reading Galileo's Daughter by this weekend. Kayla is talking an unusual amount tonight. My 16 year old tends to run on the quiet side. I just asked her if she was on drugs. Zach says, "Yeah, the LOOOOOVE drug! Ever since she went to the prom with Ryan, you can't shut her up!" She is even being nice to her sister.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: the kids are still playing their Aladdin SNES game. Last night, Zach and I played Scene It ESPN edition. He was amazed at how good I was. He still beat me, but he's proud his mother knows her sports!

Movie and Book Review Time

Where is everyone? Traffic outside is down to a minimum. I wish it was like this every day! Never can I make a tanning appointment for NOON, lunch hour time, and expect to get in without a wait, or to even get there on time because of lunch rush traffic.

Still nothing terribly exciting to blog about. I'll do a movie and book review update.

Little Manhattan -- what a sweet movie! My 12 year old son LOVES this movie! Great for the whole family.

Date Movie -- not for the whole family, but my kids are 12 and up, so for my family, it was okay. Zach thought it was a little perverted when I asked if he thought it was good or not (he'd seen it before), but he's 12 and the subject of kissing girls is still perverted to him. I asked him if he thought I'd like it and he said yes. I can't lie. Seeing Alyson Hannigan in a fat suit, singing "Milkshake" made me laugh out loud. If you like the Scary Movies, you'll like this one.

The Gospel of John--excellent. A great way to "read" the Gospel of John...I prefer the 3-hour extended version. It obviously didn't go terribly in depth of the crucifiction, like The Passion did, but gave a thorough overview of the events leading up to and after it. Incidently, Eric and I both saw The Passion together at the movies. I remember there was an older lady sitting in front of us that was sobbing very, very loudly.

Cheaper by the Dozen --okay. It was predictable, but sometimes you are just in the mood for a predictable happy ending kind of movie. A good family movie.

The Omen -- which opens tonight. Erin and I agree that it probably won't be as good as the first, but Eric and I both want to see it. I find this funny because most of us know that Eric was freaked out by The Ring. Erin turns the tv on static just to freak him out and I find that HILARIOUS!!! A girl after my own heart. More so, after I found out her family Pledged hardwood floors FOR FUN! :)

Onto books I've been reading lately.......

I am presently reading "Living Water" by Chuck Smith. Very good. It is about the power of the Holy Spirit in your life.

Redeemed & Restored.....wrtitten by Calvary Chapel Pastors' Wives...It is the stories of 12 ordinary women whose lives were transformed by God's extraordinary power. I read this in 2 days. I was able to meet Rosemary Gallatin, who is one of the 12. My 16 year old is reading it now. She is really enjoying it, as well. She is also reading Anne Rice's "Blood and Gold". I'll have to ask her how she is liking that one. I think it is humorous that most of us have similar reading "phases". I had a Beverly Cleary phase, a Judy Blume phase (I'm not sure that one was a phase for me...more like a life choice, I still read her and love her), a V.C. Andrews phase, an Anne Rice phase...you get my drift.

A book I can't wait to get to, which is next on my list: Galileo's Daughter by Dava Sobel...I should get to this one by this weekend. It is being touted as a "historical memoir of science, faith and love."

Freakonomics...still reading. It is very well written. I am enjoying it and I am taking it slow. I love how he views things "outside of the box."

I am also re-reading The Chronicles of Narnia outloud to the kids. Yes, I know they are 16, 14, and 12! Yes, I know they can read! But sometimes they just like to cuddle and be read to and of course, I LOVE IT when they do! Those moments are the most precious to me. Their favorite moments with me, they've told me, are when we shut off the tv and the lights and just have candles burning and we sit around while I tell them stories about when I was little or even when I make up stories for them. I started doing this for my little brother, who is now 6'5 and is 28 years old. Doesn't he get mad when he walks in and I'm telling one of "his" stories to the kids. All of his stories had his name in them and he gets possessive if I change the names, like his favorite "Adam and the Spaceship"...he walked in on me telling Zach about "Zach and the Spaceship"...Adam was like, "What are you doing? That is my story and its rightful title is Adam and the Spaceship!" He was like 22 years old when that happened! What a kid! He was my first baby as I was 6 when he was born and I was his protector from our other two siblings, and he never lets me forget it! :)

I have literally 30 or 40 more books that I've bought over the last year or two, that I have yet to get to. Tanya thinks my DVD fetish is bad...my book buying habit exceeds it! :) My kids love going to Borders or even Goodwill, to get books, which is one of the million things I love about them. We like the library, too, but there is something about the smell of new and vintage books that I love. I don't feel so free sniffing library books! Plus, my bedroom has 4 floor-ceiling bookshelves that I am in the process of filling. I can't wait to have my very own library room in my house someday. It will be where I read and blog and write and sit by a cozy fireplace with my dog and my tea, with a very cozy warm couch that I can be comfortable falling asleep on, on the nights that I am so into reading or writing, that I can just stay right there in the magic of it all.

06/06/06

I slept in a little this morning. Hayley has the day off from school. It is move up day for the rest of the middle schoolers, but the 8th graders got today off. They already had their day at the high school, so I guess this is a little 8th grade graduation present from the school district.

The kids are done for the summer on Thursday.

The center is getting whipped into shape. I spent Friday cleaning over there and yesterday, I had a volunteer over there from 8:30-2 PM organizing the craft closet and the computer room.

I'm off to get my latte and I'll blog when something exciting happens.

Monday

Today was a busy day at work. Thanks to everyone who commented on my last post. I do like conversations like these, and thank you Holly by not saying anything like "And Dan Brown says..."

I do hope you appreciate my point of people using this or even the movie Stigmata (which coincidently, I also love) as a basis for their arguments. I don't mind being wrong, I don't mind having someone be smarter about things that I am just learning about, and I commend and appreciate anyone that can back up what they speak.

I feel like I need to say again, I loved the book, though I preferred Angels & Demons. I never meant to offend anyone other than the people it was intended. To me, citing Dan Brown in a theological discussion would be like citing E.B White on arachnid habits at a science fair. I also support and encourage anyone to question their spiritual lives and to grow in that area. Thoughts and ideas that I have change all the time. So if a book encourages people to READ and to QUESTION their realities, then as an English teacher, I am all for it! I will forever fight censorship in our schools, which is precisely why I choose to teach in the public school realm, as opposed to private or Christian schools, not that book banning does not exist in our public schools, too, but the practice is certainly more limited than in our Christian schools. I will support and defend the freedom of speech out of respect for others' thoughts and ideas.

However, in a theological discusssion I will not be defending Dan Brown. I will defend my Lord and Savior.

Current Mood: excellent
Current Music: Enter Sandman.......Metallica.......I don't just like Christian music.

Amendment

This is an amendment to my thoughts on The Da Vinci Code. This will be all I will ever say about the subject again, because quite frankly, I am getting bored of Dan Brown and the surrounding controversy.

I still maintain the following:
Yes, I read the book and I loved it.
Yes, the book is cleverly written and Dan deserves kudos for that.
Yes, the book is FICTION. **

** This is where I make my amendments....

Most historical fiction novels are written with a backdrop of fact. For example, there are lots of Civil War and WWII historical fiction novels. While the characters may or may not be fictitious, the South always loses, as do the Nazis. In order for Dan Brown's book to "work" he had to blur the facts a little. He geniously confuses the reader as to what the real facts are. Now, if we're all still reading this book for fun, and we all know it is fiction, then I have no problem, but DO NOT come to me and present your entire new "faith" or lack of faith on FICTION! Give me facts to support your cause. An example of a fact that Brown blurs is the infamous Dead Sea Scrolls...aka...the Gnostic Gospels. First, look up the word Gnostic in the dictionary. Second, check the date the scrolls were authored. 100 PLUS years after the Apostles lived. The 4 Gospels that made it into the New Testament were written or orally dictated by the FOUR themselves. It is the only eye witness account we have. Why should the church add gospels dated 100 years after the original 4? Both liberal and conservative Christians agree on this one and you know it must be true if they both can agree on something. And please spare me the feminist agenda about the "Goddess" being taken out of the Bible by omitting the Gnostic gospels. Want to know the last sentence in the actual Gnostic Gospel of Thomas? It says something along the lines of "For a woman to be saved, she must become a man." Dan Brown leaves that part out of his book when his fictional characters talk about the patriarchy of the Church. There are also Leonardo facts that are amiss in the book, but I'll leave that up to you to find those yourself. Read a book on Leonardo or even better, an art book on the Messianic period. Religious art during this period often depicted John as more feminine than the other apostles because he was younger. In addition, The Last Supper is not a "fresco" as called repeatedly in Dan Brown's novel, but an experimental medium of tempera on stone which caused it to deteriorate shortly after completion. There have been several restoration attempts, the last completed in 1999. But I digress. That is neither here nor there. Just another example of how facts can be misconstrued and didn't influence my enjoyment of the novel. Whether or not Jesus was married, I could really give a crap. Brown and any other author can make anything up they want. Fiction is my favorite genre. Oh yeah, and Opus Dei is real, but they have no monks.

Soooo, if you want to talk theology, great. Want to talk about fiction? Fabulous!!! Politics? Depends on the mood I am in, but do not use fiction to back up your theological or political views.


Current Mood: amazed at the stupidity of certain people
Current Music: Desperate Housewives theme music...............Dan Brown and I are gonna summer on Wisteria Lane and be friends with Brie and Lynette and the other girls before heading off to Hogwarts in the Fall.

Sunday

So this morning was a very, very rainy morning and I ran through the parking lot into church and my cute boy there held the door open for me. I actually found the words to finally speak! I said, "Thanks!" :)

Then..............let me start out by giving a description of our church auditorium. There are cushioned bleachers against each side and there is a center row of seating, with an aisle on each side and then a section of seating on each adjacent side of the center row, with aisles on the other sides between them and the bleachers. The auditorium easily could seat two or three thousand people, though our parking wouldn't allow it, hence why we have three separate services each Sunday. Anyway, so cute boy walks up the aisle nearest me and then back down the aisle nearest me.
Zach was like, "He's checking you out!"
"Well, I DID finally talk to him!" I replied.
"What did you say?" asked Zach?
"Thanks!" I said.
"Oh wow, Mom! I said more than that to him today!" said Zach sarcastically. "What is his name?"
"This I do not know," I said.

During service, I couldn't find him and I told Zach to look for him. I soon got engrossed in the sermon and forgot about cute boy. Zach bumped me and said, "Your boyfriend is up there watching you." My eyes moved to where he was looking. In the back of the auditorium, upstairs, there are three rooms with very large glass windows. The one my boyfriend was in, was the the coffee shop/book store. The center one houses the studio control, where they control the two big projection screens for the people that can't see the stage, as well as other various audio and computer gadgets. The third window is for nursing mothers. He had been up there watching me! I looked over at him and our eyes met and then he made it look like he was just up there getting coffee. I continued on, listening to the service, leaving Zach to watch out for my boyfriend. I knew he was still watching me because all of a sudden, Zach's arm went around my shoulder and he stayed that way the entire service. I know my son and, with the exception of Brian, he is very careful with me. For instance, recently when I was dating Flint, Zach would either try to sit between us, or when we were at the theater or something, Flint would reach for my hand, and Zach would put his hand in between mine and Flint's. Zach has always been nice and polite to anyone I've dated, but he's made it very clear that he comes first.

So we'll see what happens at church tonight! :)

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Footloose..........Kenny Loggins

Stuff

Tanya called today! It was so nice talking to her!

Right now, the house is clean, my laundry is getting done, I have candles burning and we're just hanging out relaxing. I haven't taken a day to just do NOTHING in a long time. Do nothing as in, just staying in and having no plans.

This has been the nicest rainy day in a long time!

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: a jazz mix that I have

Rainy Day

Sometimes I love rainy days and today is one of them. I like the really warm rainy days, like today, so you can still keep the windows open a little and smell the rain and flowers and cut grass. Plus, it gives me a reason to stay inside and CLEAN a little! When the weather is nice, I feel like I need to be outside to enjoy it.

Today I need to buy dog food and other assorted pet products. I need to get my latte! :) I want to squeeze in some tanning time. I want to buy some new shirts. Seems like I always want to buy some new shirts, but the last few times I've gone, I either haven't found any I like, or I just pick up one or two, like the two I got from Old Navy. Maybe today will be clean the wardrobe day! And then turn into add more new clothes to the wardrobe day! :)

My daughter is going to yet another prom tonight. Tonight is the Senior Prom, as opposed to the regular old prom. This makes formal dance number four for her and she is only a freshman. She had the Christmas Ball, the military ball, the regular prom and now she has been invited to the Senior Prom by Ryan, who is a guy she met at the military ball, while she was there with another date. By the time her senior prom rolls around, I will definitely be lacking in enthusiasm!

Now it is coffee time. Sierra is waiting at the door with her leash. She knows it is coffee time, too. She has already used the outdoor facilities, but she knows that after her potty time and my blog time, we go for a ride to Ampersands so I can have my daily dose of sanity and she loves to ride.

Slowly Unwinding

I can't believe how emotionally exhausted I am. Instead of a 4-day week, it feels like I've worked overtime! The kids and I are hanging out tonight. Our Friday night ritual lately. I've been so burned out come Friday evening. I'll perk up tomorrow! :) Or maybe after I blog for a little bit. This is how my brain relaxes.

We rented movies! YIPPEE!!! Incredibly bad horrible movies (I hope!) as those always tend to become my favorites! We got Little Manhattan, Cheaper by the Dozen 2, Date Movie, Motorhome Massacre (I can't wait for this one!) and Daltry Calhoun.

I have a tanning appointment in a half hour, then we're ordering pizza and I may take a dip in the pool. It is a very warm and humid 80 degrees right now.

I just love my doggie. She is curled up next to me, her head on my lap, watching me blog. What a sweet pea! She has quickly become my best friend. Actually, she has quickly become the "neighborhood dog". I feel like we're on Mister Roger's Neighborhood! We went to the bank yesterday and she got FOUR dog bisquits! My next-door neighbors on each side of me, say hello to her every morning. She gets doughnuts at Dunkin Donuts and bisquits when I go to fill up my car.

I cleaned the learning center today. I swept and mopped the floors, vacuumed the rugs and washed the tables and chairs. I cleaned the toilet and the bathroom sink. Changed all the trash bags. Lysoled all of the light switches and doorknobs. We had a great year regarding germs. No major colds or flus going around the center this year. I think I've made the kids neurotic about hand sanitizing! :) It seems to have paid off, though! No bird flu for us!

June 2, 2006

What a weird day. I haven't started my day off talking to Brian in quite awhile, so I guess it is to be expected. His best friend passed away yesterday. I'm glad I was able to let him know that he was in my prayers, but I ended the call rather quickly after he started in with the "Why me? Why do I have to experience so much loss in my life? I've lost my spouse, my dog, my best friend, you. When am I going to start gaining things in my life, other than weight?" I remained silent for a moment and then said I had to get to work and told him I hoped he'd be okay. He was so incredibly sad and depressed.

I did email him later and this is what I sent him.

~~ I wouldn't be a friend, nor would I be Jennifer, if I didn't tell you exactly what I am thinking, and my thinking is that you need God now more than ever. I can say this on authority because of the glorious things that have happened and are continuously happening with me. All I can say is that something has changed in my heart and it has God's fingerprints all over it. My prayer is that you too, find some peace in your life, and it is my belief that that will only happen once you have a relationship with Him. God has really led Ken and his wife, Jeanette to reach out to me and help me in ways that 5 years of therapy could not. The invitation to Calvary Chapel always stands. Please take care of yourself. ~~

I got some advice from Tanya about it and I think it is good advice. I've known for awhile that there can be no future for Brian and I unless he makes some spiritual changes in his life. Therapy is not helping him. His depression and drinking are spinning out of control. I can't fix him. I can love him. I can be his friend, but I can't stand by and watch.

This is where the situation stands. I am moving forward with my life and am happy to accept whatever God has planned for me.

Current Mood: a little sad about Dickie...he was my friend too...but GREAT otherwise!
Current Music: Hungry..........Paul Clark

Watch Primetime TONIGHT!

Please everyone, watch Primetime tonight, with Diane Sawyer. Besides being one of my most favorite people EVER (she is so beautiful, gracious and genuine) they are having a special about foster children. It will be a little glimpse into the lives of the children I get to work with every day. I work with kids who have been in and out of foster care, and some who are in desperate need of foster care. I guarantee they'll steal your heart and I hope you let them. I hope you consider the situations in your communites and take action. Not everyone is in a position to be a foster parent, but you are in a position to get political. You can volunteer at a Big Brother/Big Sister organization, you can find out about volunteer opportunites at your church, you can write to your congressman or woman. And if God really speaks to your heart, you can consider adoption. I don't want to discourage international adoptions, but please please if you are considering adoption, take a look at our kids right here at home! The ones that break my heart the most are the families with older kids. They aren't "cute" anymore and it is next to impossible to place entire families intact into adoptive homes, especially if one or more have any kind of disability.

All three of my kids know I want lots of grandkids and I have stressed on them the importance of adoption. It will be nice to have a couple of blood relations too, if only because I want to see my babies one more time. I want them each to have babies that look just like they did.

June 1, 2006

I can't believe it is June already! Time has flown right by! Before you know it, it will be February and the kids and I will be enjoying a vacation on the West Coast! We've decided to go to Disneyland instead of Disney World. I really want to visit with my aunt in San Diego and then head up the coast and spend a few days in San Francisco and THEN head up to Oregon to visit with Tanya!

The staff meeting was long. I was glad when it was over. It was fun, but long. Carl has a new nickname! :)

The National Spelling Bee is tonight. The kids want to watch it.

We supposed to have showers the next 5 days or so. I'm glad we enjoyed the sun when we had the chance. The kids' last day of school is next Thursday. They get a week off and then the girls start babysitting everyday and I'll be at the learning center during the days. Zachie will be gone for 10 weeks.

I have to get my coffee, go tanning and run my errands. I also HAVE to get laundry done. I am a couple of loads behind schedule.

I am glad tomorrow is Friday.