You all remember my Virginia Beach countdown...well, this is my Bike Week countdown. I am leaving 3 weeks from tomorrow! YIPPEE!!!!! I can't wait to have Brian for an entire week! Neither one of us have to work and we'll be together 24 hours a day from the 11th till the 19th.
There is a bike show in Bangor this weekend and he is coming down for that and hopefully if the weather holds out, we will be spending some of the weekend on HIS bike.
Zach's concert was great. My ex mother-in-law came down and we had a surprisingly nice time. We've always gotten along but things have been kind of tense the last few years and our contact is usually limited to my picking Zach up or dropping him off. We all went out to dinner afterwards and it felt like old times. We were both in good spirits so I am sure that helped a lot.
I finally got into bed about 9:30 and read a little waiting for Brian to call. I was asleep by about 11 and was up by 5. I had to be at work by 8. I forgot about these early hours being so draining. One more day of that and then it is the weekend.
I enjoyed my day off, I guess, but I think I need a day off to recover from my day off. I was exceptionally busy yesterday. When I take a day off in the middle of a work week, while I enjoy the break, I feel like I am playing catch-up the rest of the week. I tried to keep the preschoolers on task as much as possible today. The morning Jenn is much more organized and curriculum-oriented than the afternoon Jenn. I think the kids prefer the afternoon Jenn, because I can be more laid back and we all kind of go with the flow according to our whims and fancy. We got a lot accomplished today. We ate breakfast and played, then we had Circle time (calendar, weather, show and tell, new song of the week, old song that the kids can't seem to give up), story time, Center time (in which the kids get divided into groups and work together at teacher picked centers for 15 minutes before switching centers), skillbuilder lesson, then art project. After all that, we cleaned up and got ready for lunchtime. It was a sad day for Bailey. She wasn't at school monday. She left early Tuesday, so I saw her for like an hour. I had Wednesday off and today I left at 12:30, or was supposed to. I didn't get out of there until after 1 because of her tears. She loves Erin and has assured me she will give her a chance, but she was just a little emotional today. She likes to have a regular schedule and definitely responds better to consistency. It broke my heart to have to leave her today, but I am sure she'll get through the day just fine.
Tonight I think my brother and I are taking Zach and his son Cody to see Star Wars. We considered going last night, but there was no way I would have been awake by midnight.
Current Mood: really tired
Current Music: Tiny Dancer ....Elton John
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Job Update
SOOOOO, Sarah emailed me already and is processing my application and needed a cover leter and resume, even though the main office already has both. This is just pretty much a formality. So I sent those out. Everyone keep your fingers crossed for me. This is really the job I want for at least the next year. Then back to my plan to move to Portland.
Half of my day is done. I did my errands, went shopping with Allison, and now I am waiting to pick Zach up at school at 3:45. Then he has to come home and get ready for his concert. I might have time for a quick nap. My head is killing me. I can not wait to curl up into bed tonight. I have to work tomorrow at 8 AM, but the upside of that is that I get out of work at 12:30.
Half of my day is done. I did my errands, went shopping with Allison, and now I am waiting to pick Zach up at school at 3:45. Then he has to come home and get ready for his concert. I might have time for a quick nap. My head is killing me. I can not wait to curl up into bed tonight. I have to work tomorrow at 8 AM, but the upside of that is that I get out of work at 12:30.
Busy Day
So much for my dreams of having a lazy day off. I was on the phone last night with Brian until about 11, then I had to get Zach up at 6 AM to shower and get ready. He had to be at school by 7:15 in order to catch the bus that was leaving for his field trip. No sense in going back to bed. Maybe I'll be able to catch a few minutes for a nap today. I am going to the bank, tanning, and running the rest of my errands all before 10:30 because that is when I am meeting Allison's at Border's. I have a few books I need to pick up and then we have to hit some stores because Zach needs new black pants and probably a new tie because we can't seem to find his other ones. I actually think one is still in the car from when he was in Desaraye's wedding. Then I have to pick him up from school at 3:45. His band concert is tonight and he has to be at the high school by 6:30.
The girls are still outside waiting for the school bus. It is usually here by 7:10. The other kids are still lined up on the street waiting, too. Very weird.
This is going to be a very long day. I really just want to go back to sleep.
Current Mood: very sleepy
Current Music: Switchfoot
The girls are still outside waiting for the school bus. It is usually here by 7:10. The other kids are still lined up on the street waiting, too. Very weird.
This is going to be a very long day. I really just want to go back to sleep.
Current Mood: very sleepy
Current Music: Switchfoot
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Update
I talked with Claire finally. The new job will start August 20th, so I will be able to keep the preschool job until then. I am anxious to get started.
Work was okay. I have tomorrow off! Zach has a field trip to Schoodic Point tomorrow and then a band concert tomorrow night. He plays the trumpet.
Work was okay. I have tomorrow off! Zach has a field trip to Schoodic Point tomorrow and then a band concert tomorrow night. He plays the trumpet.
Jessy called me into work early today, but I was slow in returning her call, so by the time I reached them, they didn't need me because they were short on kids anyway. Carey called in sick this morning. Doesn't surprise me after the day she had yesterday. She definitely needed the day off. I'm taking tomorrow off! YAY! Jade wanted to take today off, but I don't think she can now that Carey is out for the day. Jade needs a full week's paycheck anyway.
I am playing phone tag with Claire, my potential new boss. I am curious to hear what she has to say about my start date, paycheck, etc.
I am feeling better. My nose isn't stuffed up anymore.
I am playing phone tag with Claire, my potential new boss. I am curious to hear what she has to say about my start date, paycheck, etc.
I am feeling better. My nose isn't stuffed up anymore.
Monday, May 16, 2005
Cranky Monday
What a weird day at work! Most of the kids were extremely cranky. Carey was crying. Erika was grumpy. The only ones in a fairly good mood were Jade and I. Julie was sad because of a potential screw up with her honeymoon. Long story, but suffice it to say, a travel agent may NOT be your best bet.
I came home, had a talk with Zach about his teacher's phone call, talked with Kayla and Hayley a bit, signed whatever papers they needed signed, and washed the kitchen floor. Every once in a while I like to do a "bleaching" in which I wash the floor with a good dose of bleach. Probably wasn't the best day to do it, as my throat feels like it is on fire right now, but my sinuses sure are clear! :)
Now, I think I am going to retire to my bedroom, do some reading and relax to some tunes. I am taking Wednesday off from work. Zach has a band concert that night.
Current Mood: a little weary
Current Music: Night Moves.....Bob Seger
I came home, had a talk with Zach about his teacher's phone call, talked with Kayla and Hayley a bit, signed whatever papers they needed signed, and washed the kitchen floor. Every once in a while I like to do a "bleaching" in which I wash the floor with a good dose of bleach. Probably wasn't the best day to do it, as my throat feels like it is on fire right now, but my sinuses sure are clear! :)
Now, I think I am going to retire to my bedroom, do some reading and relax to some tunes. I am taking Wednesday off from work. Zach has a band concert that night.
Current Mood: a little weary
Current Music: Night Moves.....Bob Seger
Church last night was great. We were treated to a concert with Sherri Youngward. She has the most amazing voice. The best part of the evening was when she performed a duet with Ken. It was one of those moments when you get goosebumps.
I am feeling better. Still a little congested but it is on its way out. And to answer Eric's question about any other allergies...no, I am just allergic to tree pollen and dust. The dust just gets me a little stuffy or makes me sneeze. The tree pollen really messes me up. I am also allergic to aspirin and ibuprofin. It gives me hives. If I am seriously stressed out, I get hives, too.
Zach's teacher just called. She wants to discuss his unwillingness to do any homework lately. Okay, I am not quite sure how I am supposed to respond to her when I call her back. Zach has been grounded. Zach has had his PSP, PS2, Atari, tv and dvd player taken away. Aside from beating my child, I really am at a loss. I refuse to reward him for doing something he should be doing anyway, because of my belief that intrinsic motivation is most important in this life. If one can't find intrinsic motivation in sa task, one is less apt to maintain the motivation to do the task. Studies have proven over and over again that extrinsic rewards only work for a short period of time. I can prove this. I LOVE to read. I am a fast reader. I would rather spend my days reading than doing pretty much anything else. So when I was offered a job on campus working for disability services, reading books onto cassette tapes, I couldn't refuse. I could read and get PAID for it!!! :) I was reading books for an English class for a visually impaired student. These weren't boring textbooks, but books that I had already read or had been intending to read. Books that I would have normally found stimulating. But after the first few weeks, I found I couldn't even read for pleasure anymore. This job sucked all of the fun out of reading for me. Why? Because my originial motivation to read was intrinsic. I read because I loved it and found great relaxation and enjoyment in it. When my motivation to read became extrinsic, i.e. I was getting a paycheck for doing something that I once did for pure enjoyment, reading became a job, a hassle.
Anyway, as far as Zach is concerned, he is still on the honor roll, and is in no danger of being retained, but I am concerned because this lack of initiative on his part is rather sudden. I am not sure if this has to do with his going to middle school next year. I don't know why this would scare him because he is going to the middle school with all of his friends, and his sister will be there and he knows the kids that are there now because they were once in his elementary school. It isn't like he is going to a new school where he knows no one. I haven't had this problem with the girls because they each have a diagnosed learning disability and have to bust their butts to maintain honor roll status. Zach's main interest of late has been reading the Bible, namely Revelations, and he is intent on cracking the "Bible Code". For those who don't know, The Bible Code, a highly popular book, talks about the code in the Bible. It is all about statistics and matrixes and stringing the letters of a passage end to end, and taking letters that are equidistant and putting them in an invisible cylinder and lining the letters up in a matrix to form a word find of sorts. For instance, in a passage in Acts, the words twin towers, New York City, airplanes, dust and blood, September Eleventh, etc. all appear. The book was written well before 9/11, The man who wrote the book, Michal Drosnin, also predicted, using his code, the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin and tried to warn him a year before his assassination. The theory is highly skeptical but definitely ironic and extremely coincidental and fun if you like doing word finds.
I am feeling better. Still a little congested but it is on its way out. And to answer Eric's question about any other allergies...no, I am just allergic to tree pollen and dust. The dust just gets me a little stuffy or makes me sneeze. The tree pollen really messes me up. I am also allergic to aspirin and ibuprofin. It gives me hives. If I am seriously stressed out, I get hives, too.
Zach's teacher just called. She wants to discuss his unwillingness to do any homework lately. Okay, I am not quite sure how I am supposed to respond to her when I call her back. Zach has been grounded. Zach has had his PSP, PS2, Atari, tv and dvd player taken away. Aside from beating my child, I really am at a loss. I refuse to reward him for doing something he should be doing anyway, because of my belief that intrinsic motivation is most important in this life. If one can't find intrinsic motivation in sa task, one is less apt to maintain the motivation to do the task. Studies have proven over and over again that extrinsic rewards only work for a short period of time. I can prove this. I LOVE to read. I am a fast reader. I would rather spend my days reading than doing pretty much anything else. So when I was offered a job on campus working for disability services, reading books onto cassette tapes, I couldn't refuse. I could read and get PAID for it!!! :) I was reading books for an English class for a visually impaired student. These weren't boring textbooks, but books that I had already read or had been intending to read. Books that I would have normally found stimulating. But after the first few weeks, I found I couldn't even read for pleasure anymore. This job sucked all of the fun out of reading for me. Why? Because my originial motivation to read was intrinsic. I read because I loved it and found great relaxation and enjoyment in it. When my motivation to read became extrinsic, i.e. I was getting a paycheck for doing something that I once did for pure enjoyment, reading became a job, a hassle.
Anyway, as far as Zach is concerned, he is still on the honor roll, and is in no danger of being retained, but I am concerned because this lack of initiative on his part is rather sudden. I am not sure if this has to do with his going to middle school next year. I don't know why this would scare him because he is going to the middle school with all of his friends, and his sister will be there and he knows the kids that are there now because they were once in his elementary school. It isn't like he is going to a new school where he knows no one. I haven't had this problem with the girls because they each have a diagnosed learning disability and have to bust their butts to maintain honor roll status. Zach's main interest of late has been reading the Bible, namely Revelations, and he is intent on cracking the "Bible Code". For those who don't know, The Bible Code, a highly popular book, talks about the code in the Bible. It is all about statistics and matrixes and stringing the letters of a passage end to end, and taking letters that are equidistant and putting them in an invisible cylinder and lining the letters up in a matrix to form a word find of sorts. For instance, in a passage in Acts, the words twin towers, New York City, airplanes, dust and blood, September Eleventh, etc. all appear. The book was written well before 9/11, The man who wrote the book, Michal Drosnin, also predicted, using his code, the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin and tried to warn him a year before his assassination. The theory is highly skeptical but definitely ironic and extremely coincidental and fun if you like doing word finds.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Coming out of the coma...
I spent almost the entire day yesterday in bed. By this morning, I knew I had to get up and get moving. I did my usual Sunday morning ritual and then came home and cleaned my bedroom. I took a nice hot bath and do feel much better than yesterday and the day before. My sinuses are not bothering me much today. My ears are still a little plugged, though. I think it might just be the rain that is helping my allergies. The pollen can't do much when it is waterlogged, I think.
Church tonight. I'm looking forward to it. I've been missing the morning service because either A: Brian is in town and doesn't leave until Sunday morning or B: I've been sick or up late and 8 AM has been just TOO early for me lately. I've been waking up every morning at 5 AM and then falling back to sleep and then getting up around 9:30-10:30 and feeling groggy the rest of the day. What I need to do the next time this happens is just get out of bed at 5 when I wake up, drag my ass thru my day, and stay up until it is a reasonable hour to fall asleep for the night. I'd like to not continue waking up at 5 AM. Starting mid-week this week I will be returning to my 8 AM shift at work and this will continue all summer, so maybe 5 AM won't seem so early after all. I am ready for a nap right now, but I know better.
It is supposed to rain all week. Good news for my allergies! Not so good news for my mood, but tanning, even artificial, helps a lot with that. My hair likes to get frizzy in the rain but I still welcome the respite from my dreaded allergies.
Current Mood: better
Current Music: Back in Black......ACDC
Church tonight. I'm looking forward to it. I've been missing the morning service because either A: Brian is in town and doesn't leave until Sunday morning or B: I've been sick or up late and 8 AM has been just TOO early for me lately. I've been waking up every morning at 5 AM and then falling back to sleep and then getting up around 9:30-10:30 and feeling groggy the rest of the day. What I need to do the next time this happens is just get out of bed at 5 when I wake up, drag my ass thru my day, and stay up until it is a reasonable hour to fall asleep for the night. I'd like to not continue waking up at 5 AM. Starting mid-week this week I will be returning to my 8 AM shift at work and this will continue all summer, so maybe 5 AM won't seem so early after all. I am ready for a nap right now, but I know better.
It is supposed to rain all week. Good news for my allergies! Not so good news for my mood, but tanning, even artificial, helps a lot with that. My hair likes to get frizzy in the rain but I still welcome the respite from my dreaded allergies.
Current Mood: better
Current Music: Back in Black......ACDC
Saturday, May 14, 2005
I hate allergies!!!
I feel like I am under water, my ears are so plugged. I was supposed to go yardsaling with the girls from work for toys and things for the kids at work and I am supposed to go to Carey's Home Interior party...I feel crappy. I think I am going to pick up around here and head back to bed.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Brian and his son Paul
BIKE WEEK is coming! We'll be taking Brian's new motorcycle down, but this is a pic of his old bike and his son. I am so excited! He also promised we can take the bike to the top of Mt. Washington. I have never done it and have heard it can be kind of scary! Can't wait!
Happy Birthday Zachary Tyler!!!
Zach and I are both feeling a bit under the weather today. Allergies for me and a bad cold, possibly allergies, for him, too. He is home from school Mad Libbing, playing cards, watching movies, reading, etc. He is supposed to be resting up for his birthday dinner tonight, but as I can attest, it is hard resting when the minute you lay down, your head stuffs up even worse, making it impossible to breathe. Whatever this is hasn't affected his asthma yet, so we're keeping our fingers crossed.
While I was in D.C., I got a good idea how bad my allergies would be this spring. D.C. and Virginia are about 3 weeks ahead of us in the spring foliage game and while I was there, my sinuses started bothering me. The minute we hit New Jersey/New York area, things went back to normal. They've been fine since I have been back except for the last two days. My driveway is all yellow from the pollen from my big maple tree out back, not to mention the freshly cut grass all thru the neighborhood. I only seem to have trouble the first week or two of actual SPRING, then my body just gets used to it.
My allergy medicine makes me drowsy, despite its claim not to. Actually, I don't think it is the medicine as much as it is the lack of restful sleep.
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Godsword
While I was in D.C., I got a good idea how bad my allergies would be this spring. D.C. and Virginia are about 3 weeks ahead of us in the spring foliage game and while I was there, my sinuses started bothering me. The minute we hit New Jersey/New York area, things went back to normal. They've been fine since I have been back except for the last two days. My driveway is all yellow from the pollen from my big maple tree out back, not to mention the freshly cut grass all thru the neighborhood. I only seem to have trouble the first week or two of actual SPRING, then my body just gets used to it.
My allergy medicine makes me drowsy, despite its claim not to. Actually, I don't think it is the medicine as much as it is the lack of restful sleep.
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Godsword
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
72 degrees Today!!!
Should be a perfect spring day today! I am going to sit outside in the real sun before heading to work. After the kids rest a bit, we'll be going back outside and I'll enjoy it some more.
The girls at work hope Erin is feeling better! :) They are glad we found someone that "fits" in. I am, too, because my students mean the world to me and I can be overprotective at times and I trust she will take great care of them.
Brian called last night and I miss him terribly. We were talking about what kind of puppy he should get, if he should even get one because of his schedule. His golden retriever mix had to be put to sleep last winter and he misses her. I want a purebred Golden retriever. He mentioned the dog I like the least...German shepard...or a toy poodle...I was like, Ummm, no. You get a toy poodle and I will have to break up with you now. I really really want another golden, but two dogs for me, without a significant other in the home, would be just too much, so I really really want Brian to get one. That way, when (if) we ever live together, I'll have my golden retriever!!! :)
He was asking lots of weird questions last night, like about wedding cakes and how much time in advance before the wedding they are prepared and where I see myself in 5 years, etc...
ANYWAY...time to go outside. Yesterday at work was perfect! Quiet and peaceful. This only happens like once every 3 months.
Current Mood: still happy-ish
Current Music: Life in the Fast Lane
The girls at work hope Erin is feeling better! :) They are glad we found someone that "fits" in. I am, too, because my students mean the world to me and I can be overprotective at times and I trust she will take great care of them.
Brian called last night and I miss him terribly. We were talking about what kind of puppy he should get, if he should even get one because of his schedule. His golden retriever mix had to be put to sleep last winter and he misses her. I want a purebred Golden retriever. He mentioned the dog I like the least...German shepard...or a toy poodle...I was like, Ummm, no. You get a toy poodle and I will have to break up with you now. I really really want another golden, but two dogs for me, without a significant other in the home, would be just too much, so I really really want Brian to get one. That way, when (if) we ever live together, I'll have my golden retriever!!! :)
He was asking lots of weird questions last night, like about wedding cakes and how much time in advance before the wedding they are prepared and where I see myself in 5 years, etc...
ANYWAY...time to go outside. Yesterday at work was perfect! Quiet and peaceful. This only happens like once every 3 months.
Current Mood: still happy-ish
Current Music: Life in the Fast Lane
Monday, May 09, 2005
House of Wax
I took the kids to the movies last night and we saw House of Wax. If you liked Texas Chainsaw Massacre or even the first couple of Jason movies before they got gay, you will like this movie. I figured it would be predictable, like most slasher films are, but I was in the mood for some good old fashioned blood and guts and scenes that make you jump. Even guessing who was going to die didn't ruin the originality of the ways in which the cast were tortured and/or killed. The special effects of the wax was fairly entertaining. A definite MUST HAVE for my DVD collection.
When we got home, I noticed that Brian had called, so I returned his call. We talked for about an hour. He was in his "Sunday night funk" but at least he called. Usually he just tries to get thru that all by himself. He'll keep himself busy this week and be back to normal by the weekend.
Zach's 11th birthday is Thursday. The kids and I will be going to supper at Bugaboo, like last year and the year before and the year before that...Bugaboo is Zach's favorite thing to do for his birthday. He likes the lameass birthday chant sung by various Bugaboo staff and the moose kissing part. Also the special dessert for his birthday, which he usually shares with his sisters and I. After appetizers, our meals and plenty of liquids, we are usually pretty full by the time the special dessert arrives, so one slice is usually MORE than plenty.
I don't have to work today until 1!!! Yahoo! I'm enjoying my downtime. This will be my last week closing with Jade. Erin will taking over my 1-5:30 shift. I'll be taking over Julie's 8-12:30 shift. I bought a ton of activity books and things for my preschooler's to do yesterday at the bookstore. I'll just photocopy them in the office so they can use the ones they like over again.
It is 10:30 and I am done tanning, getting my latte, blogging, doing errands, etc. Now I am going to clean up and then get ready for work. Brian said a few days this week it is supposed to get into the 70s and 80s...NICE!!! I am so looking forward to that, especially since I don't have to be at work until 1! Gives me a chance to sit outside and relax.
Current Mood: pretty peaceful
Current Music: the special cd mix the kids burned for me for Mother's Day. It is full of songs about how much they love me and a few comedy skits that Bob Marley does about his mother. Do my kids know me or what??? :)
When we got home, I noticed that Brian had called, so I returned his call. We talked for about an hour. He was in his "Sunday night funk" but at least he called. Usually he just tries to get thru that all by himself. He'll keep himself busy this week and be back to normal by the weekend.
Zach's 11th birthday is Thursday. The kids and I will be going to supper at Bugaboo, like last year and the year before and the year before that...Bugaboo is Zach's favorite thing to do for his birthday. He likes the lameass birthday chant sung by various Bugaboo staff and the moose kissing part. Also the special dessert for his birthday, which he usually shares with his sisters and I. After appetizers, our meals and plenty of liquids, we are usually pretty full by the time the special dessert arrives, so one slice is usually MORE than plenty.
I don't have to work today until 1!!! Yahoo! I'm enjoying my downtime. This will be my last week closing with Jade. Erin will taking over my 1-5:30 shift. I'll be taking over Julie's 8-12:30 shift. I bought a ton of activity books and things for my preschooler's to do yesterday at the bookstore. I'll just photocopy them in the office so they can use the ones they like over again.
It is 10:30 and I am done tanning, getting my latte, blogging, doing errands, etc. Now I am going to clean up and then get ready for work. Brian said a few days this week it is supposed to get into the 70s and 80s...NICE!!! I am so looking forward to that, especially since I don't have to be at work until 1! Gives me a chance to sit outside and relax.
Current Mood: pretty peaceful
Current Music: the special cd mix the kids burned for me for Mother's Day. It is full of songs about how much they love me and a few comedy skits that Bob Marley does about his mother. Do my kids know me or what??? :)
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Happy Mother's Day!!!
I've had a great Mother's Day. Brian came down last night and we spent a romantic evening and Sunday morning together. He took me to breakfast this morning and we just spent time together. He officially invited me to accompany him on his vacation. He and 9 of his friends are heading to Laconia, NH for Bike Week June 11-21st. I CANNOT wait!
I officially invited him to Julie's wedding June 25th. I told him that this is the kind of wedding that I will not attend without a date. All of my friends will be there with their significant others and that will not be a fun experience for me if I am there alone. He said he would be honored to attend this special event with me! AWWWWW!!!
He is coming down next weekend, too. He has to go to Portland for an appointment, but then he has to be back in Presque Isle for his daughter's boyfriend's college graduation. THEN he plans on coming back down to Bangor to be with me.
I had lunch at my mother's today and spent some time with her and my two brothers and my kids. I played cards with my 4 year old niece. She loves the game "I Win", the like of which means she always wins.
The most bizarre news of all is that AJ stopped by last night before Brian showed up. He asked how Brian and I were doing. I told him how much in love with Brian I am and how happy I am with him. It was very weird. I sat there looking at him thinking to myself, Could I kiss him again? Could I love him? The answer became abundantly clear that there is ZERO attraction to him at all! It was like spending time with my brother. It made me happy because I am 100% completely and utterly in love with Brian. When Brian walks into a room, I just want to rush to him and hug him and kiss him. I had no feeling to rush into AJ's arms. This was the first time I have seen him since we broke up and you know how it is if it isn't a messy break up, how you always wonder if you really did make the right choice. Well, I KNOW I made the right choice. AJ asked if I was going to tell Brian about our visit. OF COURSE! It is impossible for me to lie to Brian. I told Brian about it and we talked and he feels very confident in my feelings for him.
Anyway, I am off to the store. Zach has some early b-day money to spend.
I officially invited him to Julie's wedding June 25th. I told him that this is the kind of wedding that I will not attend without a date. All of my friends will be there with their significant others and that will not be a fun experience for me if I am there alone. He said he would be honored to attend this special event with me! AWWWWW!!!
He is coming down next weekend, too. He has to go to Portland for an appointment, but then he has to be back in Presque Isle for his daughter's boyfriend's college graduation. THEN he plans on coming back down to Bangor to be with me.
I had lunch at my mother's today and spent some time with her and my two brothers and my kids. I played cards with my 4 year old niece. She loves the game "I Win", the like of which means she always wins.
The most bizarre news of all is that AJ stopped by last night before Brian showed up. He asked how Brian and I were doing. I told him how much in love with Brian I am and how happy I am with him. It was very weird. I sat there looking at him thinking to myself, Could I kiss him again? Could I love him? The answer became abundantly clear that there is ZERO attraction to him at all! It was like spending time with my brother. It made me happy because I am 100% completely and utterly in love with Brian. When Brian walks into a room, I just want to rush to him and hug him and kiss him. I had no feeling to rush into AJ's arms. This was the first time I have seen him since we broke up and you know how it is if it isn't a messy break up, how you always wonder if you really did make the right choice. Well, I KNOW I made the right choice. AJ asked if I was going to tell Brian about our visit. OF COURSE! It is impossible for me to lie to Brian. I told Brian about it and we talked and he feels very confident in my feelings for him.
Anyway, I am off to the store. Zach has some early b-day money to spend.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Alexis's 4th Birthday
Today is my niece's birthday! I was so excited the day she was born. I've been shopping for her all morning. When I asked her what she wanted Aunt Jenn to buy her, she said, "Presents!" So I asked what kind of presents, only to get "Purple presents" as a reply!
When I got home from shopping, there was a beautiful flower bouquet sitting on my kitchen table. Happy Mother's Day! Love, Brian....so sweet!
I'm going to take the kids out to lunch and then we're headed to the bowling alley for Lexi's birthday party.
When I got home from shopping, there was a beautiful flower bouquet sitting on my kitchen table. Happy Mother's Day! Love, Brian....so sweet!
I'm going to take the kids out to lunch and then we're headed to the bowling alley for Lexi's birthday party.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Work
I am glad it is Friday. One of my preschooler's mothers came in today extremely upset. Supposedly she has been reported to DHS, and my student will be removed from her mother's care. This student has been removed from her mother's home once before and her mother never regained custody of her older daughter and son. The other preschool teacher and I have been with this student for awhile and firmly believe most of her behavior issues stem from this experience. This student's father is presently in prison, though he has visitation rights once a month, even though he remains incarcerated. The judge deemed him and his dwelling place fit for visits with a 3 year old little girl, yet the state feels that the mother is a bad influence. HUH! While she may not be up for any mother of the year awards, I do feel she is doing HER best. It might not be my best, but this child is clean upon arrival at school, has a healthy lunch packed, has medicine when she is sick, is emotionally supported by her mother when being dropped off and picked up, and is told constantly that she is loved, whether it is by her mother or her teachers.
So anyway, we won't know until Monday if this child will continue to be in our preschool or not. The whole situation makes me sad. The "smart" side of my brain says that DHS is looking out for the best interest of the child. My heart is saying this is very wrong and that this little girl loves her mother and I feel that aside from being physically, sexually, or emotionally abused, the best place for a child is with its parents, even if the state has to be involved in supervising the rearing of the child. Another part of me feels like telling the parent, "Look, having kids is SERIOUS business. It isn't a game, it isn't something you do part time. After bringing a baby into the world, your life changes. You have to make good choices for you and your child and if you don't, you must face the consequence of that decision."
If you have kids, hug them all a little tighter tonight.
So anyway, we won't know until Monday if this child will continue to be in our preschool or not. The whole situation makes me sad. The "smart" side of my brain says that DHS is looking out for the best interest of the child. My heart is saying this is very wrong and that this little girl loves her mother and I feel that aside from being physically, sexually, or emotionally abused, the best place for a child is with its parents, even if the state has to be involved in supervising the rearing of the child. Another part of me feels like telling the parent, "Look, having kids is SERIOUS business. It isn't a game, it isn't something you do part time. After bringing a baby into the world, your life changes. You have to make good choices for you and your child and if you don't, you must face the consequence of that decision."
If you have kids, hug them all a little tighter tonight.
FRIDAY!
It's Friday! Not that I have anything major planned. Brian called last night and said he might be down tonite. He mentioned coming to my niece Alexis's 4th birthday party tomorrow afternoon. Lexi is having a bowling party at Bangor-Brewer Bowling Lanes and Brian's uncle is Charlie Milan, who is the ower of said establishment. Plus Brian gets a kick out of Lex.
I bought 4 DVD's last night. Bridget Jones Part 2, Exorcist (The Beginning), The Terminal, Finding Neverland...the Exorcist sucks...so far, Finding Neverland, with Kate Winslet and Johnny Depp is my favorite of the four and I bought it for Kayla, who happens to LOVE Johnny Depp. Does it concern me that my 15 year old daughter likes a 40 year old actor? Nah. What concerns me more is that we have similar taste in men.
So last night, the kids and I hung out in my bedroom watching movies and then I talked with Brian for awhile. Mother's Day is Sunday. I bought my mother a very nice Wizard of Oz picture frame (it is her favorite movie) and it has a nice picture of the kids and I in it. I bought my preschoolers a lifesize puzzle, some fake jewelery, some Strawberry Shortcake lip gloss (each their own) and some new tools for the classroom. Tonight I will have to buy Lexi something for her birthday, even though I had to take out a small loan last Saturday night to fund the Circus excursion that I treated her to. She had to have EVERYTHING!!! But I couldn't say no to my little niece who happens to look a lot like me! My own kids don't even look like me.
Okie dokie...have to get ready for work. I have to go in early so I can get my check and deposit it at the bank. Next week my hours go back to normal! Can't wait!
I bought 4 DVD's last night. Bridget Jones Part 2, Exorcist (The Beginning), The Terminal, Finding Neverland...the Exorcist sucks...so far, Finding Neverland, with Kate Winslet and Johnny Depp is my favorite of the four and I bought it for Kayla, who happens to LOVE Johnny Depp. Does it concern me that my 15 year old daughter likes a 40 year old actor? Nah. What concerns me more is that we have similar taste in men.
So last night, the kids and I hung out in my bedroom watching movies and then I talked with Brian for awhile. Mother's Day is Sunday. I bought my mother a very nice Wizard of Oz picture frame (it is her favorite movie) and it has a nice picture of the kids and I in it. I bought my preschoolers a lifesize puzzle, some fake jewelery, some Strawberry Shortcake lip gloss (each their own) and some new tools for the classroom. Tonight I will have to buy Lexi something for her birthday, even though I had to take out a small loan last Saturday night to fund the Circus excursion that I treated her to. She had to have EVERYTHING!!! But I couldn't say no to my little niece who happens to look a lot like me! My own kids don't even look like me.
Okie dokie...have to get ready for work. I have to go in early so I can get my check and deposit it at the bank. Next week my hours go back to normal! Can't wait!
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
SOOOOOO, I wasn't prepared for all the girls at work to think Brian was so good looking. Kind of ticked me off. Of course, I think he is handsome, but I wasn't prepared for how territorial I got when Erica was like, "He's so cute. Does he have any brothers? Where did you find him?" I said they were running a special at Denny's, which is where I found him. We met at Bangor's Denny's on October 25th, 2003.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Cranky
I am still feeling cranky! Not like I could kill someone cranky, but generally negative about things. I am going into work early today. That will cheer me up. This actually worked out good because Julie gets done on the 13th of May and Erin can become the other preschool teacher. They offered me the full time position, but I want a summer and don't mind splitting the shift like Julie and I have been doing.
I am sure everyone will love Erin and I am sure she will love the job. It is a nice place to work. You can socialize if you're in the mood, and if not, you can just stay in your classroom and work on extra projects with the kids. I try to keep a nice balance. Julie was definitely more of a socializer than I am. I prefer to hang out with my students, but I found that I need some adult time too, so I peek into Erica or Carey's room occasionally and trade funny stories about the kids or catch up on each other's relationship gossip.
I SO fell in the road in front of Ampersand's this morning! Not the little stumble, oh someone might have seen kind of fall...no, this was a full out trip and almost catch myself only to trip again and again until I have now built up enough momentum to completely rip up skin on my palm and knee kind of fall. You know the fall, Lynette! :) AND everyone saw! It was a sunny morning so obviously there were people milling around the outside of Ampersand's. They all saw. IN THE MIDDLE of the road, with a car barreling down on me, only to have to slow down so I could limp to the curb. This is what happens if I wait until 9 for my latte.
I am hoping today will only improve! I know better than to say things couldn't get worse.
It is only supposed to be in the fifties this week. I am really looking forward to some 70 degree days. I am buying a new tent and a new pool and some new lawn furniture. I want an outside fireplace. They look nice and aren't terribly expensive. The kids love campfires and this is definitely safer.
I have to leave for work in about 15 minutes. So, first thing, I'll go in and cover Erica's room, so she can have break, which means I'll have the babies for an hour. Then I'll finish my preschoolers lunchtime and get them all napping and cover Carey's lunch break. Carey will be back by 2 and Jessy will leave. We'll have to shuffle the kids a bit until Erin comes in, but things should work out fine. The rest of the week will be smoother.
Current Mood: cranky and sore from my fall
Current Music: You and Me..........Lifehouse
I am sure everyone will love Erin and I am sure she will love the job. It is a nice place to work. You can socialize if you're in the mood, and if not, you can just stay in your classroom and work on extra projects with the kids. I try to keep a nice balance. Julie was definitely more of a socializer than I am. I prefer to hang out with my students, but I found that I need some adult time too, so I peek into Erica or Carey's room occasionally and trade funny stories about the kids or catch up on each other's relationship gossip.
I SO fell in the road in front of Ampersand's this morning! Not the little stumble, oh someone might have seen kind of fall...no, this was a full out trip and almost catch myself only to trip again and again until I have now built up enough momentum to completely rip up skin on my palm and knee kind of fall. You know the fall, Lynette! :) AND everyone saw! It was a sunny morning so obviously there were people milling around the outside of Ampersand's. They all saw. IN THE MIDDLE of the road, with a car barreling down on me, only to have to slow down so I could limp to the curb. This is what happens if I wait until 9 for my latte.
I am hoping today will only improve! I know better than to say things couldn't get worse.
It is only supposed to be in the fifties this week. I am really looking forward to some 70 degree days. I am buying a new tent and a new pool and some new lawn furniture. I want an outside fireplace. They look nice and aren't terribly expensive. The kids love campfires and this is definitely safer.
I have to leave for work in about 15 minutes. So, first thing, I'll go in and cover Erica's room, so she can have break, which means I'll have the babies for an hour. Then I'll finish my preschoolers lunchtime and get them all napping and cover Carey's lunch break. Carey will be back by 2 and Jessy will leave. We'll have to shuffle the kids a bit until Erin comes in, but things should work out fine. The rest of the week will be smoother.
Current Mood: cranky and sore from my fall
Current Music: You and Me..........Lifehouse
Monday, May 02, 2005
Nice Weather
This is definitely a nice way to wake up in the morning. I wish the weather was like this all the time. I bought a new bathing suit yesterday. Much like my black bikini, but this one is brown. Looks good with my tan. I took my niece and nephew to the circus Saturday night. Lexi had a great time. I went to bed around 11 PM, slept until about 9:30...got my latte, went tanning, came home and watched White Noise, took a nap, brought my nephew home, went back to bed to watch Constantine, fell back to sleep, and woke up to have a snack and watch A Shark Tale, then Zach and I watched Black Sheep and I fell asleep until morning. Needless to say, I am glad to have some sun in my life. All that rain made me very sleepy yesterdayl.
I would really like to be back in Virginia right now. I could move there in a second. If I didn't have this job lined up, that is definitely where I would be headed. I am so tired of Bangor. I am pretty much tired of Maine. I am tired of most of the people in Maine.
Anyway, Brian has been sick and he has been having major DSL issues and most of his office work is done on the computer and online, so he has been a bit tense. That is his excuse anyway. Well, I am going tanning, then maybe In will sit outside for a little while.
I would really like to be back in Virginia right now. I could move there in a second. If I didn't have this job lined up, that is definitely where I would be headed. I am so tired of Bangor. I am pretty much tired of Maine. I am tired of most of the people in Maine.
Anyway, Brian has been sick and he has been having major DSL issues and most of his office work is done on the computer and online, so he has been a bit tense. That is his excuse anyway. Well, I am going tanning, then maybe In will sit outside for a little while.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Good Times
I went out last night with Barb, Eric and Erin! Pretty fun! I'm glad we went out. It was a good time.
I am feeling okay. No puking. No headache. My throat is sore, though.
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Since U Been Gone....Kelly Clarkson
I am feeling okay. No puking. No headache. My throat is sore, though.
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Since U Been Gone....Kelly Clarkson
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Brian is ticking me off!!!
This past weekend was another PERFECT weekend with Brian. One of the too perfect ones in which I won't hear from him for a few days after. I have not talked with him since Sunday. One of the weekends in which he wants to make love instead of just having sex. I love and dread these kinds of weekends all at the same time. This was how he lost me to Flint. We had a perfect weekend and then he went THREE weeks without talking to me, so I got fed up and started dating someone else and we were apart for about 3 months. I KNEW the minute he started talking about looking for an apartment down here on Sunday, how this would snowball.
I have so many great things going on in my life right now that I really don't have much time to dwell on any of this relationship crap with Brian. I am going to see Stevie Nicks/Don Henley on June 8th, with or without him. I am excited about new job prospects and getting out of my financial hole, with the hopes that this new job will pay back my student loans and also fund grad school. This will free up my salary a little so I can now buy a new vehicle and start adding to my savings again. I have a wonderful church community that I love being a part of. I love my present job. I tossed out my tent and plan on buying yet another one. We seem to go thru them pretty fast, but I hope to do some weekend camping with the kids. Day trips are fun, but you get to do more when you're spending the night. Saves on gas and driving time, too.
The Fourth of July looks like it will be a blast. I am looking forward to it. It is so much fun every year. It is just nice to have a tradition. I'd like to think that wherever my friends and my kids end up, we'll always have Boston's 4th of July to meet up in the park and have lunch and a concert with fireworks. The Boston Pops play patriotic tunes to the fireworks, with live cannons going off. It can be an emotional moment especially if it is your first time there.
I can't believe tomorrow is Friday. I am glad because I need a few days just to veg out. Well, it doesn't look like I'll be hearing from Brian anytime soon, so if anyone wants to go drinking tomorrow night, I might be persuaded to step out on the town for the evening. I am in the mood to flirt a little.
Hayley is going to the Green Day concert tonite. I was about 13 when I went to my first concert, too. I can't believe how much she is growing up. She will be 14 in July. Zach will be 11 in two weeks and Kayla will be 16 in February.
I have so many great things going on in my life right now that I really don't have much time to dwell on any of this relationship crap with Brian. I am going to see Stevie Nicks/Don Henley on June 8th, with or without him. I am excited about new job prospects and getting out of my financial hole, with the hopes that this new job will pay back my student loans and also fund grad school. This will free up my salary a little so I can now buy a new vehicle and start adding to my savings again. I have a wonderful church community that I love being a part of. I love my present job. I tossed out my tent and plan on buying yet another one. We seem to go thru them pretty fast, but I hope to do some weekend camping with the kids. Day trips are fun, but you get to do more when you're spending the night. Saves on gas and driving time, too.
The Fourth of July looks like it will be a blast. I am looking forward to it. It is so much fun every year. It is just nice to have a tradition. I'd like to think that wherever my friends and my kids end up, we'll always have Boston's 4th of July to meet up in the park and have lunch and a concert with fireworks. The Boston Pops play patriotic tunes to the fireworks, with live cannons going off. It can be an emotional moment especially if it is your first time there.
I can't believe tomorrow is Friday. I am glad because I need a few days just to veg out. Well, it doesn't look like I'll be hearing from Brian anytime soon, so if anyone wants to go drinking tomorrow night, I might be persuaded to step out on the town for the evening. I am in the mood to flirt a little.
Hayley is going to the Green Day concert tonite. I was about 13 when I went to my first concert, too. I can't believe how much she is growing up. She will be 14 in July. Zach will be 11 in two weeks and Kayla will be 16 in February.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Resumes, Jobs, Former Lovers
Claire needed an updated copy of my resume for my file at FLC, so I visited with Jim this morning and printed off some new ones. I will get that in the mail to her tomorrow.
Jim was just getting back from a professional development trip. He looked great. His son Justin was there this morning. It was nice to catch up. It was like the Jenn & Jim from the old times today. Before church, before his getting remarried, before Brian. I had mentioned to him that one of the newest colleagues at the College of Education is my very dear friend Kevin, and Jim informed me he didn't like Kevin, calling him a "pretty boy". It was very funny to see Jim that jealous. He said he was too old to play those games. I took that to mean that Jim didn't think he could compete with Kevin's much younger good looks. Kevin is very attractive and I've known him longer than Jim, but Kevin's good looks didn't stop me from pursuing Jim, whom I found very attractive. Anyway, I found it cute that I could still get a jealous reaction out of him even after everything that has happened. Not to mention the fact that he is NOW a married man. I reminded him of that today after I noticed him checking me out when he thought I wasn't looking.
Erin came into to work today to get an application. My preschoolers are pretty great kids! It has been a fantastic job for me and I will be sad to say goodbye when the time comes.
Current Mood: Happy, yet reminiscent and missing Brian like crazy.
Current music: " I think I fell in love with the 8th world wonder..." I don't know who sings it.
Jim was just getting back from a professional development trip. He looked great. His son Justin was there this morning. It was nice to catch up. It was like the Jenn & Jim from the old times today. Before church, before his getting remarried, before Brian. I had mentioned to him that one of the newest colleagues at the College of Education is my very dear friend Kevin, and Jim informed me he didn't like Kevin, calling him a "pretty boy". It was very funny to see Jim that jealous. He said he was too old to play those games. I took that to mean that Jim didn't think he could compete with Kevin's much younger good looks. Kevin is very attractive and I've known him longer than Jim, but Kevin's good looks didn't stop me from pursuing Jim, whom I found very attractive. Anyway, I found it cute that I could still get a jealous reaction out of him even after everything that has happened. Not to mention the fact that he is NOW a married man. I reminded him of that today after I noticed him checking me out when he thought I wasn't looking.
Erin came into to work today to get an application. My preschoolers are pretty great kids! It has been a fantastic job for me and I will be sad to say goodbye when the time comes.
Current Mood: Happy, yet reminiscent and missing Brian like crazy.
Current music: " I think I fell in love with the 8th world wonder..." I don't know who sings it.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Job News
Okay, Claire was too excited about this job to wait until tomorrow, so she called me tonight. It is a full-time paid position, starting this summer. I will be working for the City of Bangor as a coordinator of the FLC program, which will encompass the youth program, plus several other new programs for the betterment of the Park Woods community. Remember this is homeless housing for the city of Bangor. Anyway, as part of my benefit package, I will be getting a salary, paid training, insurance for the kids and myself, AND the best part, my student loans will be paid off in full, AND they will cover the costs of my grad school tuition.
Claire thinks I have the drive and enthusiasm to make this program work. I was 18 when I had Kayla and it scares me to think about how close I came to living the life these families are living. For me, it all came down to making one single choice: to stay in school. It hasn't been easy and I certainly have struggled, but I have managed to keep my own children out of homeless shelters and I have managed to get my college degree and am working on focusing my life plan for my next step. These kids in the housing project mean so much to me and I hope the one impression I leave on them is how important school is and to just keep plugging away at it. It is the only way out of that kind of life for them.
Did I mention they pay back my student loans? I have to send in my resume tomorrow and Claire will get the ball rolling for me!
Claire thinks I have the drive and enthusiasm to make this program work. I was 18 when I had Kayla and it scares me to think about how close I came to living the life these families are living. For me, it all came down to making one single choice: to stay in school. It hasn't been easy and I certainly have struggled, but I have managed to keep my own children out of homeless shelters and I have managed to get my college degree and am working on focusing my life plan for my next step. These kids in the housing project mean so much to me and I hope the one impression I leave on them is how important school is and to just keep plugging away at it. It is the only way out of that kind of life for them.
Did I mention they pay back my student loans? I have to send in my resume tomorrow and Claire will get the ball rolling for me!
Funny how life is
Claire called me back. Right now we are playing phone tag. She left another message for me and said that I have been offered the paid position at FLC and when we could set up a time to discuss things. If I get a better salary than what I am making at the preschool, then I am done there. AND Dianne called from UMAINE's grad school and wants me to call her about my grad assistantship and classes, etc. I thought I had told Jim to find someone else and that I was putting grad school on hold. Apparently, not everyone got that memo. I have a meeting with Jim tomorrow anyway, so I am wondering if he has anything to do with Dianne's call. So, if things go as planned, I'll have a REAL job, like $35-$40, 000 a year kind of job and grad school underway. Keep fingers crossed for me.
And to think I was feeling down and depressed today about finances and grad school and career prospects. I really hope I can get my ducks in a row very soon.
And to think I was feeling down and depressed today about finances and grad school and career prospects. I really hope I can get my ducks in a row very soon.
Redecorating
I am still in the process of redecorating my room. I have long been envying the Tiki Bar/Stools at Spencer's for a quite some time now. SOOOOO, my plan is to go to Brown & White Paper and buy some decorations. In their theme rooms, they have elaborate displays of decorations for whatever theme you're shopping for...Tiki, Mardi Gras, etc...I am in the market for some grass table skirts, which I will adorn my existing bar with. I already have these cute parrot party lights b/c I am a huge parrot head! I love Jimmy Buffett. Then I have this very plain wall in my bedroom. So I am thinking a similar mural like the one in the restaurant we ate at in Virginia Beach. They also have blow up and cardboard stand-up palm trees at B&W Paper.
25 minutes before I go to work. I am looking forward to coming home from work, making some supper for the kids, and crawling back into my very comfy bed to read, watch a movie and sleep.
25 minutes before I go to work. I am looking forward to coming home from work, making some supper for the kids, and crawling back into my very comfy bed to read, watch a movie and sleep.
Time
My time to socialize is dwindling. I work 1-5:30 every day now, instead of just two or three long days, plus my job at FLC looks like it will be starting back up. Claire called Friday and I have yet to call her back, but I will in just a few moments, and the message on my machine said she had some great news! SO, that means the program should be back up and running, which is good news, and if the rest of the news is that I will continue to get paid for my efforts, than that IS great news!
Plus, I've been dealing with this depression shit/health issues since last fall. I am doing a million times better than I was at that time. At least I am getting out of bed, going to work, putting on make-up occasionally, etc. In Eric's blog he was saying he just doesn't have any ambition. I know exactly what he means. If I didn't make lists of things that I needed to get done, I would do NOTHING. The list at least helps me to not forget stuff, which happens when I am in a bad mood fog, and after I cross some things off, I feel like I am at least accomplishing something.
I don't know if depressed is the word for me. I feel lethargic at times. Not really down, just not really interested in doing a whole lot. Once I DO drag my ass out to do something, I always feel better, so that is a good sign. Brian is going thru a similar funk. We are right back where we always end up. The weekends do not last long enough for us. He is living in Presque Isle, I am living in Old Town. We just have to be patient. We know this, but it is hard. He is starting to look for an apartment around here again, so that is a good sign. He was looking for one down here last winter, before we broke up. He spends anywhere from $100-$200 a weekend on a hotel room to stay in, depending on the season, when he visits me. More if we go downstate for the weekend. He could just as easily spend that on an apartment that he would stay in when he is down.
Anyway, I have a million things to get done before work. My mood is always better when the sun is shining. I'll blog more later.
Plus, I've been dealing with this depression shit/health issues since last fall. I am doing a million times better than I was at that time. At least I am getting out of bed, going to work, putting on make-up occasionally, etc. In Eric's blog he was saying he just doesn't have any ambition. I know exactly what he means. If I didn't make lists of things that I needed to get done, I would do NOTHING. The list at least helps me to not forget stuff, which happens when I am in a bad mood fog, and after I cross some things off, I feel like I am at least accomplishing something.
I don't know if depressed is the word for me. I feel lethargic at times. Not really down, just not really interested in doing a whole lot. Once I DO drag my ass out to do something, I always feel better, so that is a good sign. Brian is going thru a similar funk. We are right back where we always end up. The weekends do not last long enough for us. He is living in Presque Isle, I am living in Old Town. We just have to be patient. We know this, but it is hard. He is starting to look for an apartment around here again, so that is a good sign. He was looking for one down here last winter, before we broke up. He spends anywhere from $100-$200 a weekend on a hotel room to stay in, depending on the season, when he visits me. More if we go downstate for the weekend. He could just as easily spend that on an apartment that he would stay in when he is down.
Anyway, I have a million things to get done before work. My mood is always better when the sun is shining. I'll blog more later.
Monday, April 25, 2005
Mommy's Baby
Hard to believe my baby will be 11 on May 12th.
He was a month old when Nicole Simpson was murdered. He was a few months old when Jackie Kennedy Onassis passed away. 1994 was a CNN-watching year for me. The next time I was glued to my televsion would be 9/11.
He was a month old when Nicole Simpson was murdered. He was a few months old when Jackie Kennedy Onassis passed away. 1994 was a CNN-watching year for me. The next time I was glued to my televsion would be 9/11.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
So much to tell!!!
I don't even know where to start. The trip was great. Lots of traffic both ways. We had a chance to spend a few hours in NYC on the trip down. Seeing Ground Zero was definitely more emotional than I had anticipated. When you approach the scene, especially with your children, you begin to realize that 9/11 was just a regular morning, with people rushing to work and hundreds of tourists milling around, much like 4/16, which was when we were there. You begin to feel very vulnerable, even though the security in this country is now at an all time high. You begin to understand the horror of that day from a perspective much different than the perspective of watching the terrifying events unfold on your television screens. The building adjacent to the towers is still standing, although the top half of the building is gone. I just know that if the kids and I had been there the morning of 9/11, we'd have stayed around after the planes had hit, to watch and we would have likely been among those who had lost their lives after the buildings began to fall. You also begin to feel angry because of what has been taken from you. The kids and I had never had a chance to see the towers in all of their glory, together, as a family. I had seen them at a younger age on a class trip. My children will only have the chance to view them in pictures or postcards.
Virginia Beach was beautiful and relaxing. Virginia itself, was beautiful. Our first day there, we were treated to a backyard BBQ, which turned into a fun party.
DC was incredible. The kids and I got to see everything we missed during our last vacations. I've been to D.C. several times. My kids have only been a few times and so now, they have seen everything, including seeing the President and the Vice President. We also had a great time at the zoo. The Metro was fun as always. It is definitely my preferred way to travel while in the city.
I made it home in time for my grandmother's 75th birthday party and then spent the rest of the day and evening with Brian. We had a very nice time together last night. Next weekend is the bike show on Bangor's waterfront. Hopefully, my next trip will be in June for Bike Week in Laconia. Then I have the week off, paid, during 4th of July week and in August, I am hoping Brian and I head back down to Virginia Beach for a week. We want to take the bike down.
Virginia Beach was beautiful and relaxing. Virginia itself, was beautiful. Our first day there, we were treated to a backyard BBQ, which turned into a fun party.
DC was incredible. The kids and I got to see everything we missed during our last vacations. I've been to D.C. several times. My kids have only been a few times and so now, they have seen everything, including seeing the President and the Vice President. We also had a great time at the zoo. The Metro was fun as always. It is definitely my preferred way to travel while in the city.
I made it home in time for my grandmother's 75th birthday party and then spent the rest of the day and evening with Brian. We had a very nice time together last night. Next weekend is the bike show on Bangor's waterfront. Hopefully, my next trip will be in June for Bike Week in Laconia. Then I have the week off, paid, during 4th of July week and in August, I am hoping Brian and I head back down to Virginia Beach for a week. We want to take the bike down.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Getting Ready
I'm feeling pretty good today. I fell asleep last night a little after 9PM and slept right thru till morning. I got my latte, tanned, ran some errands, made sure everything is packed and ready to go. I could still do a hundred other little things but I think I'll do some more when I get home from work, so I can have some company. I won't be able to do a thing tomorrow because I said I would cover for Julie, which leaves me working 8-5:30. This is really okay because that will be the only hours I have on my next paycheck. I'll be thanking myself for doing it when I get back from vacation.
I touched up my roots last night, gave myself a manicure/pedicure this morning and I am all tanned up so Virginia Beach here I come! Oh, DANG! A new thought just came to me! What am I going to do without my latte every morning? Yes, I am sure you are thinking that there are Starbucks everywhere. This is so true, but I ABHOR the taste of Starbucks. Their brand of coffee they use for their espresso grind is bitter and always tastes burnt to me. Ampersand's uses Green Mountain Coffee beans and grinds them for their espressos and we all know espresso isn't a particular bean, it can be any coffee bean, just very finely ground, one step up from the Turkish ground, and it is called espresso because of the speed and force the hot water is steeped throught the filter. AND we all know that lattes are espressos with steamed milk and a bit of froth on top. A cappuccino is an espresso with mostly froth. Yeah, I am a bit high maintenance when it comes to my coffee.
This week has flown by but the last day and a half is going to drag ass BIG TIME! I can't wait to be on the road. I can't wait to spend some time in DC. I can't wait for that first time my toes touch the sand!
Tonight I need to pick up another xD-card for my digital camera. I think I am going to get one of the 128 mb ones as the one I have only holds like 20 pics if I keep the camera set at 3 megapixels. EXCELLENT prints of all sizes using this setting. I haven't even used the 4 megapixel setting b/c I like to email pictures as well as having them printed and the 3 megapixel setting means a very large file size when attaching photos. I can't imagine wasting the money on a 5-plus megapixel camera. With the settings I am using presently, nobody can tell which 4 x 6's I've used the digital or my 35 mm camera on, except for the fact when I am using my digital, EVERY shot is a good shot (because of the delete feature). This Fuji FinePix340 is my third digital camera and it is by far my favorite. I still use my Canon SureShot 35 mm camera, but not so much now that I can just take out my handy xD-card and get my photos in one hour for much cheaper than developing 35mm film in one hour. Same, if not better quaility, for less? You have my attention!
Anyway, I have to be on my way to work. 1-5:30 today.
I touched up my roots last night, gave myself a manicure/pedicure this morning and I am all tanned up so Virginia Beach here I come! Oh, DANG! A new thought just came to me! What am I going to do without my latte every morning? Yes, I am sure you are thinking that there are Starbucks everywhere. This is so true, but I ABHOR the taste of Starbucks. Their brand of coffee they use for their espresso grind is bitter and always tastes burnt to me. Ampersand's uses Green Mountain Coffee beans and grinds them for their espressos and we all know espresso isn't a particular bean, it can be any coffee bean, just very finely ground, one step up from the Turkish ground, and it is called espresso because of the speed and force the hot water is steeped throught the filter. AND we all know that lattes are espressos with steamed milk and a bit of froth on top. A cappuccino is an espresso with mostly froth. Yeah, I am a bit high maintenance when it comes to my coffee.
This week has flown by but the last day and a half is going to drag ass BIG TIME! I can't wait to be on the road. I can't wait to spend some time in DC. I can't wait for that first time my toes touch the sand!
Tonight I need to pick up another xD-card for my digital camera. I think I am going to get one of the 128 mb ones as the one I have only holds like 20 pics if I keep the camera set at 3 megapixels. EXCELLENT prints of all sizes using this setting. I haven't even used the 4 megapixel setting b/c I like to email pictures as well as having them printed and the 3 megapixel setting means a very large file size when attaching photos. I can't imagine wasting the money on a 5-plus megapixel camera. With the settings I am using presently, nobody can tell which 4 x 6's I've used the digital or my 35 mm camera on, except for the fact when I am using my digital, EVERY shot is a good shot (because of the delete feature). This Fuji FinePix340 is my third digital camera and it is by far my favorite. I still use my Canon SureShot 35 mm camera, but not so much now that I can just take out my handy xD-card and get my photos in one hour for much cheaper than developing 35mm film in one hour. Same, if not better quaility, for less? You have my attention!
Anyway, I have to be on my way to work. 1-5:30 today.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
I feel Yucky
Still not feeling quite right. I passed my test last night. I am recertified in CPR/AED and First Aid.
Tonight, I am touching up my roots and I have to leave the dye in for another 20-30 minutes. I am watching Buffy Season 3 and just hanging out with the kids. After my hair is done, I think I will clean my bedroom. I feel like I haven't seen Buffy for ages. I forget how much I LOVE it!
I miss Brian! I feel like whining about it.
Tomorrow I have some appointments and some errands to do. My last short shift before working 8-5:30 Friday. I still don't know if I am leaving Friday night or Saturday morning. I can't wait to get on the road. Hopefully this will be an unforgettable trip. Unforgettable in a good way.
Tonight, I am touching up my roots and I have to leave the dye in for another 20-30 minutes. I am watching Buffy Season 3 and just hanging out with the kids. After my hair is done, I think I will clean my bedroom. I feel like I haven't seen Buffy for ages. I forget how much I LOVE it!
I miss Brian! I feel like whining about it.
Tomorrow I have some appointments and some errands to do. My last short shift before working 8-5:30 Friday. I still don't know if I am leaving Friday night or Saturday morning. I can't wait to get on the road. Hopefully this will be an unforgettable trip. Unforgettable in a good way.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Sick
I got out of work early today...which is a good thing, because ever since I have been home, I am feeling quite ill. I have that stupid class tonight 6-9 PM. If I don't go tonight, I'll regret it, and have to make it up anyway, so I might as well just get it all over with. These stomach pains are horrible.
I have to finish cleaning. Jessica is staying the night and catching her bus to Georgia tomorrow morning at 8 AM. I won't be able to see her until I get home tonight but it will be fun to hang out anyway. I haven't seen her for a few weeks. Since the beginning of March actually.
I have to finish cleaning. Jessica is staying the night and catching her bus to Georgia tomorrow morning at 8 AM. I won't be able to see her until I get home tonight but it will be fun to hang out anyway. I haven't seen her for a few weeks. Since the beginning of March actually.
Monday, April 11, 2005
I am glad today is over. I am looking forward to tomorrow being over. Wednesday will be an easier day. It has been brought to my attention that I should possibly hang out with some friends Wednesday or Thursday night. I just might but I have a sex-toy party to go to at my friend Carey's on Thursday night. So I will have to see how I am feeling Wednesday night. I am working 8-5:30 Friday and if Brian doesn't come down Friday night, I think we're gonna leave for Virginia early.
It is 8:30 and I am ready for bed. I miss Brian. I don't know why I seem to miss him more than usual. I didn't think that was possible, but alas, I am missing him like crazy today and tonight.
I think I am going to read for a little while tonight and call it a day.
It is 8:30 and I am ready for bed. I miss Brian. I don't know why I seem to miss him more than usual. I didn't think that was possible, but alas, I am missing him like crazy today and tonight.
I think I am going to read for a little while tonight and call it a day.
Final Countdown
We were supposed to have rain/snow showers today AND tomorrow, but today it is beautiful out. It isn't expected to cloud up until this evening. Rain/snow showers tomorrow.
I have a list of to-do's and I've completed all of today's list. I had to get everything done before leaving for work in about 20 minutes. I slept surprisingly well last night. I came in from tanning, blogged, put in a movie and took a 2 hour nap. I was still asleep by 10 PM and slept this morning until 8:20. Brian thinks it is silly that I think only one hour (the time change) can throw off my schedule so much, but it was officially a week since the change on yesterday and today I am just now feeling "normal". So anyway, TODAY, I went to the ATM, went to the bank (inside), filed my new insurance cards, picked up Shannon, went to the post office, paid the phone bill, sent off other correspondence.
If Brian doesn't come down to visit me this Friday, I think we're going to leave Friday night instead of Saturday morning and we'll spend some of Saturday in New York City. I LOVE the city. The kids and I love having pinics in Central Park. All three love Broadway musicals, which my sister and I adore! She and I try to get to at least one a year together. She of course, living in Greenwich, making about $200,000 of her own money, not to mention my brother-in-law's insane income, gets to go to as many shows as she wants. My aunt and uncle live in New Jersey, near Maguire Air Force Base, and because my uncle is a Master Sarge in the Air Force, he gets incredible deals on Broadway tix. So it seems whomever we visit when were in the city, musicals are sure to be part of the itinerary.
Tomorrow will be a LONG day. I have a PET at 8:30 AM...maybe I can squeeze in some tanning, maybe...then I have to work until 5:30 and at 6 PM, I have to be at Cutler Health Center for my cpr recertification. That class is 6-9. For me, 12 1/2 hours out of my house, is a long day. I won't have to be into work until 1 PM on Wednesday, though.
Current Mood: happy that the hard part of my day is over
Current Music: Sunny Days Jars of Clay
I have a list of to-do's and I've completed all of today's list. I had to get everything done before leaving for work in about 20 minutes. I slept surprisingly well last night. I came in from tanning, blogged, put in a movie and took a 2 hour nap. I was still asleep by 10 PM and slept this morning until 8:20. Brian thinks it is silly that I think only one hour (the time change) can throw off my schedule so much, but it was officially a week since the change on yesterday and today I am just now feeling "normal". So anyway, TODAY, I went to the ATM, went to the bank (inside), filed my new insurance cards, picked up Shannon, went to the post office, paid the phone bill, sent off other correspondence.
If Brian doesn't come down to visit me this Friday, I think we're going to leave Friday night instead of Saturday morning and we'll spend some of Saturday in New York City. I LOVE the city. The kids and I love having pinics in Central Park. All three love Broadway musicals, which my sister and I adore! She and I try to get to at least one a year together. She of course, living in Greenwich, making about $200,000 of her own money, not to mention my brother-in-law's insane income, gets to go to as many shows as she wants. My aunt and uncle live in New Jersey, near Maguire Air Force Base, and because my uncle is a Master Sarge in the Air Force, he gets incredible deals on Broadway tix. So it seems whomever we visit when were in the city, musicals are sure to be part of the itinerary.
Tomorrow will be a LONG day. I have a PET at 8:30 AM...maybe I can squeeze in some tanning, maybe...then I have to work until 5:30 and at 6 PM, I have to be at Cutler Health Center for my cpr recertification. That class is 6-9. For me, 12 1/2 hours out of my house, is a long day. I won't have to be into work until 1 PM on Wednesday, though.
Current Mood: happy that the hard part of my day is over
Current Music: Sunny Days Jars of Clay
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Instead of raking the lawn today and driving to Old Navy, I laid out in the sun. The real sun! Brian is out riding his new bike. It is definitely a great day for it.
Right now I am watching Without a Paddle...AGAIN! It is funny.
I cannot express how anxious I am for Saturday to get here! I am so looking forward to this roadtrip!
Right now I am watching Without a Paddle...AGAIN! It is funny.
I cannot express how anxious I am for Saturday to get here! I am so looking forward to this roadtrip!
I Love Brian
This weekend has been great so far. The girls had a dance on Friday night and so Barb, Shannon, Zach and I went to supper at Applebee's and then we went to Walmart for awhile until about 9:30. I got home and talked to Brian for a couple of hours, waiting for the girls to get home from the dance.
Brian came down last night and we went to Smokey Bones for supper and then went for a walk down by the waterfront in Bangor. On our second date EVER (almost 2 years ago), we walked on the waterfront together and on our first date back together after we broke up the first time, we walked on the waterfront together. Then we went back to the hotel and watched some tv, cuddled and stuff. He headed back up to P.I. early today because he and his buddies are going for a bike ride. He picked up his new motorcycle on Friday. I love how when he leaves, I can still smell him for hours. His cologne, his breath mints, etc.
Anyway, today I am debating on whether I should stay home and rake my yard, OR drive down to Old Navy and do some shopping. I'm leaning towards Old Navy, especially since the development of all of these clouds. I need a few new tanks and shorts for Virginia Beach.
Current Mood: very happy and very much missing Brian
Current Music: You and Me Lifehouse
Brian came down last night and we went to Smokey Bones for supper and then went for a walk down by the waterfront in Bangor. On our second date EVER (almost 2 years ago), we walked on the waterfront together and on our first date back together after we broke up the first time, we walked on the waterfront together. Then we went back to the hotel and watched some tv, cuddled and stuff. He headed back up to P.I. early today because he and his buddies are going for a bike ride. He picked up his new motorcycle on Friday. I love how when he leaves, I can still smell him for hours. His cologne, his breath mints, etc.
Anyway, today I am debating on whether I should stay home and rake my yard, OR drive down to Old Navy and do some shopping. I'm leaning towards Old Navy, especially since the development of all of these clouds. I need a few new tanks and shorts for Virginia Beach.
Current Mood: very happy and very much missing Brian
Current Music: You and Me Lifehouse
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Emily
If I knew for sure my baby would come out as perfect as Emily is, I'd have another one in a second. She is the sweetest baby girl ever!
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Good Day
Work was good. A little busier than usual, but good. The new girl is working out GREAT! Carey found out tonight that her very soon-to-be-husband is leaving the 22nd of this month for boot camp for nine weeks. $20,000 sign-on bonus and their 2 year old daughter will keep her going though! We've planned the next two months out, though and we're gonna go out and have a good time. Kayla and Shannon can watch Brooke for her. That will be fun on the weekends I don't get to see Brian.
Amy wants me to go to the Bear Brew tomorrow night. I have a hard time drinking on a "school" night. I'm not as young as I used to be! It is harder for me to bounce back after a night of drinking these days. Plus Brian was not too pleased last Thursday when I went to that party. I think he was more angry about my going, knowing Flint would probably be there.
Anyway, I think I am going to take a bath in a few minutes and soak my achy muscles away and shave my legs! I am also going to got to bed early and finish Smart Women and then pick up where I left off in The Da Vinci Code and then hopefully talk to Brian tonight.
Current Mood: missing Brian
Current Music: Sara Fleetwood Mac
Amy wants me to go to the Bear Brew tomorrow night. I have a hard time drinking on a "school" night. I'm not as young as I used to be! It is harder for me to bounce back after a night of drinking these days. Plus Brian was not too pleased last Thursday when I went to that party. I think he was more angry about my going, knowing Flint would probably be there.
Anyway, I think I am going to take a bath in a few minutes and soak my achy muscles away and shave my legs! I am also going to got to bed early and finish Smart Women and then pick up where I left off in The Da Vinci Code and then hopefully talk to Brian tonight.
Current Mood: missing Brian
Current Music: Sara Fleetwood Mac
Hell Week
I talked awhile with Brian last night. I could have stayed angry with him and ignored him and married someone else, but I chose to take the high road and I'm glad I did.
Anyway, day two of Hell week begins at 10. I'm going to get my latte and then tan for 20 minutes to mentally prepare myself! :)
I'll blog tonite!
Current Mood: glad to see some sun!
Current Music:
Anyway, day two of Hell week begins at 10. I'm going to get my latte and then tan for 20 minutes to mentally prepare myself! :)
I'll blog tonite!
Current Mood: glad to see some sun!
Current Music:
Monday, April 04, 2005
Big Pats on the Back
So Hell week started today. Jade's vacation started today. I am covering her shift because my shift is easier to cover, which meant I had to be at work
AND Brian is a dink, but we all knew that.
AND Brian is a dink, but we all knew that.
Secret Sex Affair Diary
Oh, and one last thing before I go tanning...to the creator(s) of Secret Sex Affair Diary blogsite...hmmmm, I am thinking the jig is up, MORON! Not quite so secret if you're blogging about it.
Other random thoughts...
Prior to 1998, I had only slept with TWO men....ever...(we're not talking oral sex here).
Since 1998...let's just say, I've since caught up to, possibly surpassing, most of the 30-somethings of the world. During my first two relationships, I always felt like I was missing out on all the action, missing out on all of the sex my friends were getting. I was getting it all the time, just with one person. It is amazing how the grass will ALWAYS seem greener. I am starting to think I will never grow up. I will never just get to where I am getting to. Then we have people that say, it isn't getting there that matters as much as the ride. What they fail to mention is that there are several approaches...we have the lazy river approach, we have the roller coaster approach and we have the full on throttle, my jetplane is crashing and burning approach. My grandkids will appreciate all of my worldly wisdom someday.
Other random thoughts...
Prior to 1998, I had only slept with TWO men....ever...(we're not talking oral sex here).
Since 1998...let's just say, I've since caught up to, possibly surpassing, most of the 30-somethings of the world. During my first two relationships, I always felt like I was missing out on all the action, missing out on all of the sex my friends were getting. I was getting it all the time, just with one person. It is amazing how the grass will ALWAYS seem greener. I am starting to think I will never grow up. I will never just get to where I am getting to. Then we have people that say, it isn't getting there that matters as much as the ride. What they fail to mention is that there are several approaches...we have the lazy river approach, we have the roller coaster approach and we have the full on throttle, my jetplane is crashing and burning approach. My grandkids will appreciate all of my worldly wisdom someday.
Was I RIght?
Yes, I was right. Brian was ticked off at me. How do I know? Because he came down Saturday to buy his new bike and didn't let me know he had come down for the day. But he DID let me know last night. How can I love him and hate him with such intensity? I was so mad last night that I just got real quiet and said I had to go to bed early because I had to work early today. Partly true, although I was up until 2 AM. I couldn't sleep again last night. My stomach pains are lasting longer and becoming more unbearable. I was up at 7:30. I had such a wonderful weekend and he knew I was in a good mood because of it. He didn't have to tell me about coming to Bangor. I have a good mind to call Flint up and say, YES, I will marry you. Yes, I will have your baby. Brian can spend the rest of his messed up life in Presque Isle, running into his ex-wife around every corner, never seeing me again, never talking to me again, never smelling my hair again, knowing he's lost me forever.
I doubt I'd last the year without being utterly miserable and bored with Flint. Maybe I'll just find someone else. I am so tired of comparing everyone to Brian, though. I have no idea why I can't just be mad at him. I don't know why I always feel like I have to get even. I don't know how Brian can reduce me to such immaturity. All I know is this: I am INFURIATED! Brian always says it is about control. I can't control him and it infuriates me and also keeps me coming back. I fucking hate men. As God is my witness, I will hate them until the day I die!!!
I doubt I'd last the year without being utterly miserable and bored with Flint. Maybe I'll just find someone else. I am so tired of comparing everyone to Brian, though. I have no idea why I can't just be mad at him. I don't know why I always feel like I have to get even. I don't know how Brian can reduce me to such immaturity. All I know is this: I am INFURIATED! Brian always says it is about control. I can't control him and it infuriates me and also keeps me coming back. I fucking hate men. As God is my witness, I will hate them until the day I die!!!
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Ms. Blogs-alot
It is 7 PM and it is still light out. Aside from the cold and snow, I much prefer the fall back part of daylight savings. I feel like I should be doing more than sitting in my living room playing on my laptop. I did read a little today. Emailed a little. Blogged alot. I'm drinking Red Bull right now. Love that stuff. I don't know why my anxiety increases in the spring. It subsides in the summer and disappears all winter, but that is because I basically become lethargic all winter long.
I am dreading this week at work. I am working 40 hours this week. Oh, the horror! Jade is going to Florida for the week and I am covering her hours. I leave for VA in two weeks and she'll be covering for me then.
My car is all insured for the whole year. I paid for it all at once so I don't have to worry about it. Kind of makes me want to go out and get in an accident to celebrate. Kind of.
Tuesday and Wednesday are supposed to be sunny and beautiful outside. Hope this holds true. The nice weather last week certainly boosted my spirits. Now if I only saw Brian every day of my life, I'd be one happy chickie.
I am watching Resident Evil: Apocolypse....Correction...the kids are watching it. I'm going along for the ride. I've already seen it several times with Flint. I watched Saw again today. Should I be worried that I find myself laughing more each time I watch it? Like when Adam pretends to die from poison and then gets zapped.
My son is eating corn on the cob, green beans and Texas toast with melted cheese. Last night, he ate brocoli and corn on the cob and chicken tenders. My point is he is eating and LOVING vegetables. It has only taken him almost 11 years. The girls on the other hand have always loved salads and any kind of vegetable.
I'm reading Smart Women by Judy Blume...I have read all of her books but this one. I have no idea where I was when this came out years ago. Probably getting pregnant and having babies and other fun stuff.
I can't wait until vacation. I can't wait until the first day I go to a Maine beach. I can't wait until that first day in Old Orchard.
I think Brian is mad at me, though he is pretending not to be. I just know him. He's ticked that I went to that party, knowing that Flint would be there. Even though he said, You have a life too...MEN!!!
Why is it when I eat regular corn, I am fine, but when I eat corn on the cob, it gets stuck in my teeth?
Why is it when a girl is trying to escape a bad guy in a movie she chooses to run UP the stairs? After a couple of flights, I'd drop to my knees and just say Kill me, motherfucker. Also, why is it that the good guys get shot and killed often in the first try, yet the bad guys get shot and shot and shot and keep getting up and up and up?
Tim Zimmermen, author of The Wetass Chronicles is on yet ANOTHER vacation. Dude, don't be such a dink!!!
The interior on my nostrils is sunburned from the tanning bed. A nice place for skin cancer. Nostril cancer. Maybe that is what is wrong with Michael!
I need to go out and get SHIT-TAY!!! On April 12th, I work all day, then I have to get my CPR/AED certification renewed, from 6-9 PM...what a fun freaking day that will be! But I leave for vacation on the 16th!
It is 7:30 and now it is dark. I had a dream the other morning about killing zombies. My weapon of choice was a hammer, with a broken metal handle that I could use as a stake. Plus, I used the claw. Good dreams. I also used a golf club to kill a zombie in the same dream. Oh, and in the same dream, I was being drowned by a man, who didn't have a body from the waist down, and his hands were tied behind his head. First we were making out, because apparently I am a sick fuck in my dreams, then he put his hands around my neck to like embrace me and kiss me more, then I woke up because he was forcing my head under water and I didn't want to play anymore.
The Pope died yesterday. His last prayer was about world peace. Anyone read the Book of Revelations lately? Prophecy states, the beginning of the reign of the Antichrist will start with the world being united in world peace. There will be one world religion, one world currency, etc. The colors of this world religion will be crimson and purple...hmmm, happens to be the colors of the Catholic religion...plus there are supposed to be natural and un-natural disasters all over the world and a war with Iraq. Things that make you go HMMMM. Kind of makes one wonder if it is prophecy being fulfilled or a self-fulfilling prophecy in the making.
Current mood: hyped up on the Bull
Current Music: growly roars from the beast on Resident Evil: The Apocolypse
I am dreading this week at work. I am working 40 hours this week. Oh, the horror! Jade is going to Florida for the week and I am covering her hours. I leave for VA in two weeks and she'll be covering for me then.
My car is all insured for the whole year. I paid for it all at once so I don't have to worry about it. Kind of makes me want to go out and get in an accident to celebrate. Kind of.
Tuesday and Wednesday are supposed to be sunny and beautiful outside. Hope this holds true. The nice weather last week certainly boosted my spirits. Now if I only saw Brian every day of my life, I'd be one happy chickie.
I am watching Resident Evil: Apocolypse....Correction...the kids are watching it. I'm going along for the ride. I've already seen it several times with Flint. I watched Saw again today. Should I be worried that I find myself laughing more each time I watch it? Like when Adam pretends to die from poison and then gets zapped.
My son is eating corn on the cob, green beans and Texas toast with melted cheese. Last night, he ate brocoli and corn on the cob and chicken tenders. My point is he is eating and LOVING vegetables. It has only taken him almost 11 years. The girls on the other hand have always loved salads and any kind of vegetable.
I'm reading Smart Women by Judy Blume...I have read all of her books but this one. I have no idea where I was when this came out years ago. Probably getting pregnant and having babies and other fun stuff.
I can't wait until vacation. I can't wait until the first day I go to a Maine beach. I can't wait until that first day in Old Orchard.
I think Brian is mad at me, though he is pretending not to be. I just know him. He's ticked that I went to that party, knowing that Flint would be there. Even though he said, You have a life too...MEN!!!
Why is it when I eat regular corn, I am fine, but when I eat corn on the cob, it gets stuck in my teeth?
Why is it when a girl is trying to escape a bad guy in a movie she chooses to run UP the stairs? After a couple of flights, I'd drop to my knees and just say Kill me, motherfucker. Also, why is it that the good guys get shot and killed often in the first try, yet the bad guys get shot and shot and shot and keep getting up and up and up?
Tim Zimmermen, author of The Wetass Chronicles is on yet ANOTHER vacation. Dude, don't be such a dink!!!
The interior on my nostrils is sunburned from the tanning bed. A nice place for skin cancer. Nostril cancer. Maybe that is what is wrong with Michael!
I need to go out and get SHIT-TAY!!! On April 12th, I work all day, then I have to get my CPR/AED certification renewed, from 6-9 PM...what a fun freaking day that will be! But I leave for vacation on the 16th!
It is 7:30 and now it is dark. I had a dream the other morning about killing zombies. My weapon of choice was a hammer, with a broken metal handle that I could use as a stake. Plus, I used the claw. Good dreams. I also used a golf club to kill a zombie in the same dream. Oh, and in the same dream, I was being drowned by a man, who didn't have a body from the waist down, and his hands were tied behind his head. First we were making out, because apparently I am a sick fuck in my dreams, then he put his hands around my neck to like embrace me and kiss me more, then I woke up because he was forcing my head under water and I didn't want to play anymore.
The Pope died yesterday. His last prayer was about world peace. Anyone read the Book of Revelations lately? Prophecy states, the beginning of the reign of the Antichrist will start with the world being united in world peace. There will be one world religion, one world currency, etc. The colors of this world religion will be crimson and purple...hmmm, happens to be the colors of the Catholic religion...plus there are supposed to be natural and un-natural disasters all over the world and a war with Iraq. Things that make you go HMMMM. Kind of makes one wonder if it is prophecy being fulfilled or a self-fulfilling prophecy in the making.
Current mood: hyped up on the Bull
Current Music: growly roars from the beast on Resident Evil: The Apocolypse
Zach & Shannon
What cute kids!!! We were just hanging out, playing Bullcrap all weekend. All and all, very restful and entertaining.
Boys of Summer
Had a great time at the mall last night with the kids, Barb and Eric. We got Eric's hair cut. It looks very cool!!! He is stylin' now! Then I bought some CDs...Don Henley's greatest hits and another Bob Marley CD. Bob Marley is going to be at the Comedy Connection in Portland next weekend. He is just the cutest!!! I love him. We had a late supper at Chili's and then headed for home.
I wish it wasn't raining so hard today. I want to go hiking or something. My hair can't do the drizzle!
The kids have a big day of playing Bullcrap planned for today. I just learned how to play this lying cheating game yesterday. Apparently my kids have been playing for awhile now. They are quite adept at being sneaky little shits during this game.
Current Mood: surprisingly good, given the time change
Current Music: All She Wants to Do............Don Henley
I wish it wasn't raining so hard today. I want to go hiking or something. My hair can't do the drizzle!
The kids have a big day of playing Bullcrap planned for today. I just learned how to play this lying cheating game yesterday. Apparently my kids have been playing for awhile now. They are quite adept at being sneaky little shits during this game.
Current Mood: surprisingly good, given the time change
Current Music: All She Wants to Do............Don Henley
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Will Blog Later
Going to the grocery store. Then going to the mall with Barb, kids, and Eric late afternoon.
Do you know what I wish would come in style? Those little plastic handkerchiefs old ladies wear on their heads during inclimate weather to keep the elements off of their style.
Maybe I can bring them into fashion! Brian's mother emailed me at 10:30 PM last night, shortly after Brian and I called it a night ourselves. I told him about seeing Flint and his proposal. Brian was kind of mad, kind of I-don't-give-a-fuck, telling me I obviously still have feelings for Flint. I said, Brian, I am more interested in AJ than Flint. (He agreed.) Then I said, Brian, I am more interested in YOU than AJ!
Of course, I am more than interested in Brian. I am in love with Brian. I just get tired of his mood swings sometimes.
Anyway, I was surprised to get an email from his mother. We've talked briefly on speaker phone in Brian's truck a few times and I know Brian talks to her about me, but I was surprised that he gave her my email address. Not that it is top secret or anything. In the subject line it read "From Brian's Mommy"...too cute, like I wouldn't have recognized her name. It was just some jokes and I enjoyed them.
Okie dokie...got to go grocery shopping. I will write later.
Do you know what I wish would come in style? Those little plastic handkerchiefs old ladies wear on their heads during inclimate weather to keep the elements off of their style.
Maybe I can bring them into fashion! Brian's mother emailed me at 10:30 PM last night, shortly after Brian and I called it a night ourselves. I told him about seeing Flint and his proposal. Brian was kind of mad, kind of I-don't-give-a-fuck, telling me I obviously still have feelings for Flint. I said, Brian, I am more interested in AJ than Flint. (He agreed.) Then I said, Brian, I am more interested in YOU than AJ!
Of course, I am more than interested in Brian. I am in love with Brian. I just get tired of his mood swings sometimes.
Anyway, I was surprised to get an email from his mother. We've talked briefly on speaker phone in Brian's truck a few times and I know Brian talks to her about me, but I was surprised that he gave her my email address. Not that it is top secret or anything. In the subject line it read "From Brian's Mommy"...too cute, like I wouldn't have recognized her name. It was just some jokes and I enjoyed them.
Okie dokie...got to go grocery shopping. I will write later.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Thoughts
Okay...so last night I went to John and Vicki's anniversary party. I wasn't going to go, even though I was invited awhile ago, because I originally met John and Vicki thru Flint and knew he had also been invited. Aside from an occasional phone call/IM session and picking him up at the airport about 2 weeks ago, our contact has been limited.
Brian was in an argumentative mood on the phone Tuesday night and didn't call or IM me Wednesday, so last night I said SCREW IT! I am going to the damn party. So I went. Flint was there. We talked. He asked me to move in with him. He asked me to marry him. He asked me to have a baby with him. He said he has been miserable without me. Basically, I said I love Brian.
My question is this. How long do I wait for Brian? Because of his depression, we have lots of ups and downs. Is it going to be like that the rest of our lives? I have been seriously considering having another child ever since I met Brian. I would love to have this child WITH Brian. But I am slowly but surely running out of time to safely have another child. I will be 33 this July. Working at the preschool has made me want another child even more. Brian and I have talked about having a baby and he is willing to do what I want in regards to that, BUT neither he nor I are there yet relationship-wise. We'd at least like to be living in the same house before we do that and THAT would be at least another year, closer to 2, assuming we last through his depression. So on the other hand, I have Flint, who I believe is sincere with everything we talked about last night. Here is a guy who, up until his job problems, I had a fairly great relationship with. He wants a committment, he wants a baby, he is intent on making me the happiest woman in the world if I give him the opportunity. I wouldn't even be thinking these thoughts at all if Brian wasn't in the midst of severe mood swings. My reality is this...as much as I love Brian, this depression is hurting us. Can I realistically do this? For better or for worse, and this depression is definitely the 'for worse' part, can I do this? I'd like to think I am capable of that kind of committment, but am I kidding myself? I lived with a severely depressed father who has been (in the last decade) diagnosed with schizophrenia. I saw my mother live 19 years with this man.
I am just confused. I'm sure it will all pass in a day or two. I love Brian. I am willing to stand by him through anything, but anybody who has any experience in dealing with depression, either their own or a loved one's, knows how distant the depressed person can become and how they can alienate all the people around them. It is very hard and very hurtful when Brian pushes me away. In his happier and more lucid moments, he assures me it isn't about me and not to take it so personal.
Current Mood: ready for vacation
Current Music: Beautiful Loser Bob Seger
Brian was in an argumentative mood on the phone Tuesday night and didn't call or IM me Wednesday, so last night I said SCREW IT! I am going to the damn party. So I went. Flint was there. We talked. He asked me to move in with him. He asked me to marry him. He asked me to have a baby with him. He said he has been miserable without me. Basically, I said I love Brian.
My question is this. How long do I wait for Brian? Because of his depression, we have lots of ups and downs. Is it going to be like that the rest of our lives? I have been seriously considering having another child ever since I met Brian. I would love to have this child WITH Brian. But I am slowly but surely running out of time to safely have another child. I will be 33 this July. Working at the preschool has made me want another child even more. Brian and I have talked about having a baby and he is willing to do what I want in regards to that, BUT neither he nor I are there yet relationship-wise. We'd at least like to be living in the same house before we do that and THAT would be at least another year, closer to 2, assuming we last through his depression. So on the other hand, I have Flint, who I believe is sincere with everything we talked about last night. Here is a guy who, up until his job problems, I had a fairly great relationship with. He wants a committment, he wants a baby, he is intent on making me the happiest woman in the world if I give him the opportunity. I wouldn't even be thinking these thoughts at all if Brian wasn't in the midst of severe mood swings. My reality is this...as much as I love Brian, this depression is hurting us. Can I realistically do this? For better or for worse, and this depression is definitely the 'for worse' part, can I do this? I'd like to think I am capable of that kind of committment, but am I kidding myself? I lived with a severely depressed father who has been (in the last decade) diagnosed with schizophrenia. I saw my mother live 19 years with this man.
I am just confused. I'm sure it will all pass in a day or two. I love Brian. I am willing to stand by him through anything, but anybody who has any experience in dealing with depression, either their own or a loved one's, knows how distant the depressed person can become and how they can alienate all the people around them. It is very hard and very hurtful when Brian pushes me away. In his happier and more lucid moments, he assures me it isn't about me and not to take it so personal.
Current Mood: ready for vacation
Current Music: Beautiful Loser Bob Seger
Thursday, March 31, 2005
I'm Still Standing
I got my hair cut a few days ago. None of the length cut, just about two inches off of my layers. I really didn't like how the girl did it (she is not my regular stylist) but today, after washing and drying and curling it, I think I like it! I am still going to give it about 2 weeks to see if my layers start blending in on their own, if not, I'll go back and have that done. It doesn't look bad, just a little wavier than I am used to. It is more Daisy Duke aka Jessica Simpson than I wanted. But on my way out of Walmart last night, a truck slowed down beside me and the guy was like HI, so I said HI, then he said "I like your hair", so I said "Thank you." Then he said bye and I said bye. So I guess I can live with the hair cut!
Another beautiful day in the neighborhood! I guess the weather will be changing for the worse tomorrow and this weekend. That is okay, though. I need an excuse to stay home and inside to do some spring cleaning. Spring clean-up will be soon so I want to get all broken and junky items out of the house and by the curb in preparation for that day. I am going to do a massive throwawayathon because when I move, I want to be as light as possible. As it is, I have accumulated enough furniture and household items to fill this 4 bedroom house. I remember when we moved into this place 10 years ago and I was thinking, Gosh, how will I ever fill this place...with three tiny bodies running around and just Mike and I, the place seemed big. Now, with 4 teenage bodies around and Barb and myself, the dog and the cats, the place is cramped. Oh well, such is life, I guess. They'll all be gone before I know it and it'll just be me. I'll be missing the coziness of it all!
I bought the Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack last night. It was a bigtime Broadway show when I was a kid. A great soundtrack. My mother had the vinyl version when I was growing up. I've been in the mood to listen to old time music lately. My mother loved Neil Diamond, Barry Manilow, Captain and Tenille, Ronnie Milsap, The Mamas and the Papas, etc...Sadly, I have my own collection of those CDs now. You knew it was a Saturday when my mother would have some Neil Diamond blaring on the stereo and you could smell Lemon Fresh Pledge, because that meant she was cleaning the house. I used to clean my room to ACDC Back in Black...I still clean my house to ACDC...sometimes Neil Diamond.
So 5 out of 6 teachers have bronchitis/pneumonia at work. I am the only one still virus-free!!! Knock on wood. Hand sanitizer is my saving grace.
I bought a new cordless phone last night. It is a Motorola, with caller id and call waiting caller id! I was tired of not having a caller id on my other two cordless phones, and my caller id box has been crapping out lately, so I said SCREW it...I am buying a new phone. I've never used Motorola except for cell phone usage. It has a handy-dandy little belt clip so I can bring the phone with me all thru the house when I am cleaning.
Another beautiful day in the neighborhood! I guess the weather will be changing for the worse tomorrow and this weekend. That is okay, though. I need an excuse to stay home and inside to do some spring cleaning. Spring clean-up will be soon so I want to get all broken and junky items out of the house and by the curb in preparation for that day. I am going to do a massive throwawayathon because when I move, I want to be as light as possible. As it is, I have accumulated enough furniture and household items to fill this 4 bedroom house. I remember when we moved into this place 10 years ago and I was thinking, Gosh, how will I ever fill this place...with three tiny bodies running around and just Mike and I, the place seemed big. Now, with 4 teenage bodies around and Barb and myself, the dog and the cats, the place is cramped. Oh well, such is life, I guess. They'll all be gone before I know it and it'll just be me. I'll be missing the coziness of it all!
I bought the Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack last night. It was a bigtime Broadway show when I was a kid. A great soundtrack. My mother had the vinyl version when I was growing up. I've been in the mood to listen to old time music lately. My mother loved Neil Diamond, Barry Manilow, Captain and Tenille, Ronnie Milsap, The Mamas and the Papas, etc...Sadly, I have my own collection of those CDs now. You knew it was a Saturday when my mother would have some Neil Diamond blaring on the stereo and you could smell Lemon Fresh Pledge, because that meant she was cleaning the house. I used to clean my room to ACDC Back in Black...I still clean my house to ACDC...sometimes Neil Diamond.
So 5 out of 6 teachers have bronchitis/pneumonia at work. I am the only one still virus-free!!! Knock on wood. Hand sanitizer is my saving grace.
I bought a new cordless phone last night. It is a Motorola, with caller id and call waiting caller id! I was tired of not having a caller id on my other two cordless phones, and my caller id box has been crapping out lately, so I said SCREW it...I am buying a new phone. I've never used Motorola except for cell phone usage. It has a handy-dandy little belt clip so I can bring the phone with me all thru the house when I am cleaning.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
So Nice!!!
It was so nice outside today. 52-plus degrees out. I went tanning in the Viper capsule today. I got out early because my skin felt very hot after just 5 or 6 minutes. I think you're only allowed in there for 10 minutes max. 8 bucks it cost to use that thing. Aside from that, no real exciting news to report since my last blog.
It is 5 o'clock Somewhere
I didn't get anything really done today that I had wanted to do. Just one of those days. I woke up at 5 and ended up falling back to sleep around 7 and then slept until almost 10. Now I have one of those hangover feelings. Should make work interesting. Everyone there is sick. I am the only healthy one right now, but that is because I wash my hands incessantly.
I saw Charlie at the mall Monday night, while I was there getting my hair cut. It was good to see him. He always makes me laugh. He scored very well on his LSATs. I am very proud of him. Way to go, Charlie!!! We're gonna hang out soon. He's moving to southern Maine too, so I'll have lots of friends. Lynette wants to go to USM for her grad work and Jon York and his wife are already down there. Plus, I have three uncles and two aunts down there, and my cousins, of course. Melanie and Sean are expecting their baby. They are living on Forest Ave in Portland. I should be seeing everyone on the day the kids and I come back from vacation. My grandmother is having her 75th birthday extravaganza so the kids and I have to head back from V-Beach a day earlier.
The weather today is beautiful. I wish my mood matched. I am just feeling overwhelmed right about now. I have a list of things I need to get done and that just makes me want to procrastinate all the more. These weeks are flying by. Good because vacation is coming sooner, but bad because I am running out of weeks to get a job, relocate, etc. Before you know it, fall will be here again!
Brian was in a jerky mood on the phone last night. He gets that way when he misses me, but sometimes it gets old. I hope he is in a happier mood tonight. It seems to be harder for him to hide his depression from me now. I don't know if that is a good thing. I guess it is a good thing that he trusts me enough to just be himself and not worry about having to always be happy to impress me or to keep me around, but on the other hand, I am a mostly upbeat person and his dark moods can definitely bring me down really fast. I mean, we've all felt stuck at times and just can't seem to get out of our own way, and that is where he is right now. I understand this and my love for him supercedes all else, but it will be good when this passes, though. Some people are sponge-like and can suck my good moods right out of me. My moods seem to be strictly hormonal. Once a month, things seem really bleak and dark for me and I cry more easily.
The kids have a 1/2 day of school today. I have to work until 5:30. I can't believe tomorrow is Thursday already!!! I'm not sure if Brian is coming down Saturday or not. If the weather stays like this, maybe he'll want to bring the bike down! :) He is coming down next weekend, barring all major snowstorms, and it is unlikely we'll spend three weekends together in a row.
Current Mood: fuzzy brained
Current Music: Edge of Seventeen Stevie Nicks
I saw Charlie at the mall Monday night, while I was there getting my hair cut. It was good to see him. He always makes me laugh. He scored very well on his LSATs. I am very proud of him. Way to go, Charlie!!! We're gonna hang out soon. He's moving to southern Maine too, so I'll have lots of friends. Lynette wants to go to USM for her grad work and Jon York and his wife are already down there. Plus, I have three uncles and two aunts down there, and my cousins, of course. Melanie and Sean are expecting their baby. They are living on Forest Ave in Portland. I should be seeing everyone on the day the kids and I come back from vacation. My grandmother is having her 75th birthday extravaganza so the kids and I have to head back from V-Beach a day earlier.
The weather today is beautiful. I wish my mood matched. I am just feeling overwhelmed right about now. I have a list of things I need to get done and that just makes me want to procrastinate all the more. These weeks are flying by. Good because vacation is coming sooner, but bad because I am running out of weeks to get a job, relocate, etc. Before you know it, fall will be here again!
Brian was in a jerky mood on the phone last night. He gets that way when he misses me, but sometimes it gets old. I hope he is in a happier mood tonight. It seems to be harder for him to hide his depression from me now. I don't know if that is a good thing. I guess it is a good thing that he trusts me enough to just be himself and not worry about having to always be happy to impress me or to keep me around, but on the other hand, I am a mostly upbeat person and his dark moods can definitely bring me down really fast. I mean, we've all felt stuck at times and just can't seem to get out of our own way, and that is where he is right now. I understand this and my love for him supercedes all else, but it will be good when this passes, though. Some people are sponge-like and can suck my good moods right out of me. My moods seem to be strictly hormonal. Once a month, things seem really bleak and dark for me and I cry more easily.
The kids have a 1/2 day of school today. I have to work until 5:30. I can't believe tomorrow is Thursday already!!! I'm not sure if Brian is coming down Saturday or not. If the weather stays like this, maybe he'll want to bring the bike down! :) He is coming down next weekend, barring all major snowstorms, and it is unlikely we'll spend three weekends together in a row.
Current Mood: fuzzy brained
Current Music: Edge of Seventeen Stevie Nicks
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Bailey and Jenn
Bailey was pretending to sleep but her smile, which broke into giggles, kept giving her away.
Sunday, March 27, 2005
My Motorcycle Man
Sitting at the Denny's where we first met at "Our" table. He had no idea that I had saved the piece of paper he had written his phone number and email address on until I slid it over to him. And he thought he was going to surprise me by remembering what table we had been sitting at, and requesting to the waitress that we sit at that particular table.
My Weekend
Brian came down Friday night. We went to the movies and saw The Pacifier. We both agreed that it was very predictable, but okay. It was nice just to cuddle at the theater. Saturday, we went motorcycle shopping 11-1, then we went to the boat show, then Sam's club, then Home Depot, THEN at the last minute we decided to go to Portland and catch the 7:30 show at The Comedy Connection. After that, we went to dinner at The Wok In, and drove back to the hotel in Bangor for the night. All and all, a great weekend. I was happy to spend the holiday together. On the drive home from Portland, I was cuddled up next to him, sleeping, but I awakened briefly, though he thought I was still asleep, and the song "I Could Love You like That" by John Michael Montgomery came on the radio and he sang it to me. So sweet!
Today, Shannon, Barb and I went to the movies. Brian headed home around 11. We saw The Ring 2. Okay. Not scary, but it was nice to get the background story on Samara. We went to Bull Moose Music after. The place was PACKED!!! I bought 3 new cd's. Lifehouse's brand new cd, Stevie Nicks Belladonna, and an old Fleetwood Mac album. After that, we ate supper at The Olive Garden and are just now getting home.
I'm just gonna sit back and relax and wait for my kids to get home. They are spending Easter with my mother. I wasn't in the mood to do the big family thing today, but my mother and kids were, so they are. Brian is supposed to be down this Saturday and then the weekend after, he is going to be in Portland and mentioned stopping in and picking me up. I could definitely use an entire weekend in Portland. The weekend after that, I'm headed to Virginia.
Current Mood: Tired
Current Music: my new cd's
Today, Shannon, Barb and I went to the movies. Brian headed home around 11. We saw The Ring 2. Okay. Not scary, but it was nice to get the background story on Samara. We went to Bull Moose Music after. The place was PACKED!!! I bought 3 new cd's. Lifehouse's brand new cd, Stevie Nicks Belladonna, and an old Fleetwood Mac album. After that, we ate supper at The Olive Garden and are just now getting home.
I'm just gonna sit back and relax and wait for my kids to get home. They are spending Easter with my mother. I wasn't in the mood to do the big family thing today, but my mother and kids were, so they are. Brian is supposed to be down this Saturday and then the weekend after, he is going to be in Portland and mentioned stopping in and picking me up. I could definitely use an entire weekend in Portland. The weekend after that, I'm headed to Virginia.
Current Mood: Tired
Current Music: my new cd's
Friday, March 25, 2005
Happy Easter!!!
The kids have no school today. It is an in-service, but it gives the kids a three day weekend for Easter. Brian is coming down this weekend. I'm glad, not just because I get to snuggle with him all day tomorrow, but because the holidays are very sad for him when he spends them alone. I think we're going to the movies tomorrow night.
Zach and I went to Ampersand's for my latte and his strawberry steamer and I mentioned I had to run to the Dollar Tree to buy some Easter presents for my preschoolers. He started to cry and I was like, what is your problem. "So just because I'm big [he is 10] means I don't care about Easter anymore?"
What it means is that instead of baskets, the kids will get a storage tote filled with video games, cd's, movies, the traditional Easter candy, new clothes, etc. I didn't tell him though about the stuff I've gotten, so I'll get him a cheap little Easter basket from the store and on Sunday, while he is playing with that, the girls will have their stuff. I'll give him his stuff after. Then we'll go to church and spend the day at my mom's so I can get MY Easter basket! :)
Zach and I went to Ampersand's for my latte and his strawberry steamer and I mentioned I had to run to the Dollar Tree to buy some Easter presents for my preschoolers. He started to cry and I was like, what is your problem. "So just because I'm big [he is 10] means I don't care about Easter anymore?"
What it means is that instead of baskets, the kids will get a storage tote filled with video games, cd's, movies, the traditional Easter candy, new clothes, etc. I didn't tell him though about the stuff I've gotten, so I'll get him a cheap little Easter basket from the store and on Sunday, while he is playing with that, the girls will have their stuff. I'll give him his stuff after. Then we'll go to church and spend the day at my mom's so I can get MY Easter basket! :)
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Just My Luck
So I stay on the phone with Brian last night until the late evening hours (no complaints) thinking, no big deal, I don't have to work until 1 PM tomorrow...Nay, nay...Jessy called 7:30 AM this morning to see if I could be in by 10:30. Carey has pneumonia and acute sinusitis...similar to what I had back in November or December. She'll be out tomorrow too and I will go into work an hour early. Tomorrow is Friday. Tomorrow is Katie's last day. Tomorrow is our Easter party. Tomorrow is Katie's going away party.
Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Since U Been Gone
Kelly Clarkson
Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Since U Been Gone
Kelly Clarkson
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
GUESS WHAT???
There is a rumor, I heard it on the radio today, that after the Eagles finish tourning this spring, Don Henley will be touring this summer with STEVIE NICKS! Please, please, please let this be true. And please let it be somewhere on the east coast.
I still haven't fully recovered missing out on Fleetwood Mac's farewell tour.
I still haven't fully recovered missing out on Fleetwood Mac's farewell tour.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Very Cool!!!
I went into work and Jessy asked if I wanted to take the rest of the day off...Hell yeah!!!
A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE!!! I love spring! I love summer!
Current Mood: Elated
Current Music: Godsword
A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE!!! I love spring! I love summer!
Current Mood: Elated
Current Music: Godsword
Monday, March 21, 2005
Mondays
Typical Monday. Got to work. It went pretty well. Drove home. Realized I left purse at work. Drove back to work. Got purse and drove home. Walked in the door and was told my mother picked up my children and to pick them up there when I got home. Had to drive almost all the way back to work in BANGOR, as my mother lives about 1 minute from my place of employment, to get my children and now I am finally home.
Current Mood: My head is KILLING me and I am cranky.
Current Music: Jeremy Camp
Current Mood: My head is KILLING me and I am cranky.
Current Music: Jeremy Camp
Almost 5 Years
I never thought almost 5 years would go by and I wouldn't see one of my parents. In five years, my two nieces have been born. Alexis will be 4 in May and Gabrielle turned 1 in December. My sister got married. The last time my dad saw my kids, Kayla was 11, Hayley was 10, and Zach was 6. With the exception of their faces, they'd be almost unrecognizible to him. Kayla is taller than me. Hayley is almost as tall as me and Zach is just 5 feet finally. In 5 years, I've gotten ONE phone call from him.
Whining
If anyone thinks I whine in my blog, I have something to say to you. This is MY blog. Don't read the fucking thing. I don't think I whine more than anyone else and I certainly take care of my own life and keep my personal problems to myself, with the exception of my blog, but please refer to the above.
Anyway, that wasn't directed at anyone in general, just a disclaimer.
Going to get my latte. Going tanning. (Sorry about the miscommunication yesterday Eric.) Going to work. Going to bed.
In two weeks, Jade is going to Florida, so I'll be covering for her at work. 10:30-5:30 M-F...BUT shortly after that, I'll be going on my vacation!!!
Anyway, that wasn't directed at anyone in general, just a disclaimer.
Going to get my latte. Going tanning. (Sorry about the miscommunication yesterday Eric.) Going to work. Going to bed.
In two weeks, Jade is going to Florida, so I'll be covering for her at work. 10:30-5:30 M-F...BUT shortly after that, I'll be going on my vacation!!!
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Boring, Boring, Boring
Today has been even more boring than yesterday, if y'all can believe that!!!
Let's see...today, I went tanning, grocery shopping, watched 3 movies, got my latte.
I'm going to church tonight because I talked myself out of going this morning, but I've been up since 6:30 AM nonetheless.
Let's see...today, I went tanning, grocery shopping, watched 3 movies, got my latte.
I'm going to church tonight because I talked myself out of going this morning, but I've been up since 6:30 AM nonetheless.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Wetass Chronicles
Wetass Chronicles...I LOVE this blog! It just cracks me up. I signed up for the free bumper sticker.
I can't wait for my vacation.
I am so bored right now. The kids and I bought 8 movies this weekend. I am on movie number 5. Tomorrow morning is church at 8:30 AM. I feel asleep at 1 this morning and woke up at 6:30 AM...I repeat A.M.!!! So today I feel terribly hung over. I didn't even have anything to drink. I took the kids to supper at Governor's and bought the movies and came home and watched some. Got me to thinking that when I do get a hangover, it is probably not so much because of the alcohol, as it is my staying up until 3-4 in the morning. I'm chugging Red Bull right now, so hopefully that helps. It was just one of those days that you stay in bed all day, reading the paper, drinking a latte, watching movies...but my body hurts now! I had to get up and get moving around. Went to Shop and Save and Irving. Gonna pick up the living room and make my bed. Then I'll go back to bed and watch more movies. Maybe I'll read a little. I have a ton of books that I've bought or been loaned, over the last few months from Goodwill, Bette's Bookstore, and Border's...among the titles are Book 2-7 of the 12 Left Behind books, Wicked, The Da Vinci Code, Icy Sparks, 12 Times Blessed, plus a ton more that I am too tired to think of to list...
I MISS BRIAN!!!
Current Mood: Blah
Current Movie: White Chicks
I can't wait for my vacation.
I am so bored right now. The kids and I bought 8 movies this weekend. I am on movie number 5. Tomorrow morning is church at 8:30 AM. I feel asleep at 1 this morning and woke up at 6:30 AM...I repeat A.M.!!! So today I feel terribly hung over. I didn't even have anything to drink. I took the kids to supper at Governor's and bought the movies and came home and watched some. Got me to thinking that when I do get a hangover, it is probably not so much because of the alcohol, as it is my staying up until 3-4 in the morning. I'm chugging Red Bull right now, so hopefully that helps. It was just one of those days that you stay in bed all day, reading the paper, drinking a latte, watching movies...but my body hurts now! I had to get up and get moving around. Went to Shop and Save and Irving. Gonna pick up the living room and make my bed. Then I'll go back to bed and watch more movies. Maybe I'll read a little. I have a ton of books that I've bought or been loaned, over the last few months from Goodwill, Bette's Bookstore, and Border's...among the titles are Book 2-7 of the 12 Left Behind books, Wicked, The Da Vinci Code, Icy Sparks, 12 Times Blessed, plus a ton more that I am too tired to think of to list...
I MISS BRIAN!!!
Current Mood: Blah
Current Movie: White Chicks
Friday, March 18, 2005
Virginia Beach Here We Come!!!
I've started tanning, got the hotel lined up, got the rental car all set...I am so psyched for this vacation! April 15th-25th, the kids and I'll be in Virginia and Washington D.C. We are taking Barb and Shannon...why? Because they are a lot of fun and because Barb used to live in the area, so we can take many more day trips than last year. Hopefully I don't get food poisoning again and lose 48 hours of the trip. I would have lost more time, but I forced myself to brave D.C. once I could stand again. I felt like I was going to pass out that whole day and was queasy on the Metro, but I got thru it!
Hopefully, since Kayla and Shannon are 15 and 17 respectively, Barb and I will get to a few clubs to do some drinking. But honestly, just being on a beach, without snow anywhere in sight sounds like all the vacation I need.
Current Mood: EXCITED!!! duh!
Current Music: Lime in de Coconut
Hopefully, since Kayla and Shannon are 15 and 17 respectively, Barb and I will get to a few clubs to do some drinking. But honestly, just being on a beach, without snow anywhere in sight sounds like all the vacation I need.
Current Mood: EXCITED!!! duh!
Current Music: Lime in de Coconut
Friday At Last
This weather has been beautiful. Makes up for a busy work week. I've been taking the kids outside as much as possible at work.
Tomorrow is the third Saturday of the month, so that means BOWLING with Jim and Joyce and others from church. I don't know if I am going to go. I can tolerate them at church, at the grocery store, etc. If I spend any large amounts of time with Jim, he and I are in the computer lab. I haven't spent large amounts of time with them when they are being "them". I know Jim told her about our past and when it is just he and I, things are normal, but I always feel like I can't act as friendly with him when we're around others, like I can when it is just us. I know he is the same way. At church, he always says hi to me, but it is usually Joyce and I that talk. He just stands there uncomfortably, shifting his weight from one foot to the next. So one would think we should just avoid each other. We can't. We've tried. I tell him everything and he tells me everything, even stuff he should probably be telling her now, but we've confided in each other for so long, it is hard to break that habit. We certainly do not communicate as much as we used to, out of respect for Joyce, but a month will go by and we haven't had a good talk, and he'll email me and ask to see me, so I go into his office and usually come out an hour later feeling so much better. I usually end up crying because he'll ask a question about Brian or whoever. He thinks I should forget about Brian. Then again, any man I date lately isn't good enough for me. He and Joyce have taken to fix my love life, hence the BOWLING tomorrow 5-7. And I love Joyce. She is a wonderful woman and is much better suited for him I think, then I would have been. In a weird way though, it is kind of like Jim pushes us into situations that force us to communicate publicly so he can prove to himself or to Joyce that his feelings for me weren't real, or at least are over. For me, those feelings were over the minute Brian gave me our first kiss. Even still, it can be hard seeing a former lover canoodling with his present wife.
Tomorrow is the third Saturday of the month, so that means BOWLING with Jim and Joyce and others from church. I don't know if I am going to go. I can tolerate them at church, at the grocery store, etc. If I spend any large amounts of time with Jim, he and I are in the computer lab. I haven't spent large amounts of time with them when they are being "them". I know Jim told her about our past and when it is just he and I, things are normal, but I always feel like I can't act as friendly with him when we're around others, like I can when it is just us. I know he is the same way. At church, he always says hi to me, but it is usually Joyce and I that talk. He just stands there uncomfortably, shifting his weight from one foot to the next. So one would think we should just avoid each other. We can't. We've tried. I tell him everything and he tells me everything, even stuff he should probably be telling her now, but we've confided in each other for so long, it is hard to break that habit. We certainly do not communicate as much as we used to, out of respect for Joyce, but a month will go by and we haven't had a good talk, and he'll email me and ask to see me, so I go into his office and usually come out an hour later feeling so much better. I usually end up crying because he'll ask a question about Brian or whoever. He thinks I should forget about Brian. Then again, any man I date lately isn't good enough for me. He and Joyce have taken to fix my love life, hence the BOWLING tomorrow 5-7. And I love Joyce. She is a wonderful woman and is much better suited for him I think, then I would have been. In a weird way though, it is kind of like Jim pushes us into situations that force us to communicate publicly so he can prove to himself or to Joyce that his feelings for me weren't real, or at least are over. For me, those feelings were over the minute Brian gave me our first kiss. Even still, it can be hard seeing a former lover canoodling with his present wife.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!
Next year, St. Patty's is on a Friday! :) Drinking on a Thursday night just doesn't work for me...and I am definitely Irish...I'm also equally French, hence the last name De Orsey. My mother is a McGlinchey. My grandmother is a Ouellette.
Anyway, I started tanning again! YAY! Before I hear one word about the bad effects of tanning on the aging process...do not forget I am almost 33. I certainly do not look almost 33 and I've been tanning at least 3 months out of every year since I was 16. My skin never burns, thanks to my French ancestors, who have beautifully dark skin, dark hair and dark eyes. I am not so dark and I have blue eyes and fair to medium skin, but I never burn and I have very few body marks (little to no moles, I only freckle on my upper arms slightly, I always wear sunscreen on my face, even in winter, and use Estee Lauder's Sunless face tanner). Let me tell you how relaxing and energizing 20 minutes in a sunbed is.
I went to Border's last night ( sorry Shelly!!!). Shelly works at the infamous Bett's Bookstore in Bangor and I try to frequent it as much as possible, but the store hours are tough for my schedule...Border's is open until 10! Bought some good books and it got me to thinking just how much I spend on BOOKS! :) I really need to renew my library card. There are just some books I HAVE to have though, to touch and smell and look at. I love new books and I love revisiting my old books. I have one that my aunt gave me when I was 11 and her friend gave it to her when she was 11ish. It is Judy Blume's Are You there God, it is Me Margaret. I re-read it every year. I can finish it in just a few hours. The pages are all yellowed and the cover is long gone now. On page 96, there is the stain where I discovered a spider and in my horror, I squashed it, without realizing what I was doing until after the fact. My girls own all of Judy Blume's books and love her dearly. She also has the CUTEST little beach (two or three room) cottage-like place where she writes. There are pictures of it on her website. My dream writing worksite is in a big finished attic. Little window at the top, walls lined with built-in bookshelves. Big desk with my laptop, all my Gone with the Wind collection, pictures of the kids, cozy places to curl up in and to read and write the days away.
Anyway, I started tanning again! YAY! Before I hear one word about the bad effects of tanning on the aging process...do not forget I am almost 33. I certainly do not look almost 33 and I've been tanning at least 3 months out of every year since I was 16. My skin never burns, thanks to my French ancestors, who have beautifully dark skin, dark hair and dark eyes. I am not so dark and I have blue eyes and fair to medium skin, but I never burn and I have very few body marks (little to no moles, I only freckle on my upper arms slightly, I always wear sunscreen on my face, even in winter, and use Estee Lauder's Sunless face tanner). Let me tell you how relaxing and energizing 20 minutes in a sunbed is.
I went to Border's last night ( sorry Shelly!!!). Shelly works at the infamous Bett's Bookstore in Bangor and I try to frequent it as much as possible, but the store hours are tough for my schedule...Border's is open until 10! Bought some good books and it got me to thinking just how much I spend on BOOKS! :) I really need to renew my library card. There are just some books I HAVE to have though, to touch and smell and look at. I love new books and I love revisiting my old books. I have one that my aunt gave me when I was 11 and her friend gave it to her when she was 11ish. It is Judy Blume's Are You there God, it is Me Margaret. I re-read it every year. I can finish it in just a few hours. The pages are all yellowed and the cover is long gone now. On page 96, there is the stain where I discovered a spider and in my horror, I squashed it, without realizing what I was doing until after the fact. My girls own all of Judy Blume's books and love her dearly. She also has the CUTEST little beach (two or three room) cottage-like place where she writes. There are pictures of it on her website. My dream writing worksite is in a big finished attic. Little window at the top, walls lined with built-in bookshelves. Big desk with my laptop, all my Gone with the Wind collection, pictures of the kids, cozy places to curl up in and to read and write the days away.
Monday, March 14, 2005
Why does it have to be like this?
Flint had been after me for sometime to pick up some of my belongings, after refusing to just bring them to me at work. Mind you, it was JUST a pair of slippers and my pajama bottoms...two items I have PLENTY of and he could have just kept them as souveniers. So I went over to get them last Monday, plus he was having some computer trouble, so I said I'd help him out. He was having a big interview the next morning and was kind of nervous and could use a friend to hang out with a little while...so being the friendly person that I am, I stayed and we hung out. Got me to thinking that while he isn't the right one for me, what could it hurt to be friends? So I called the next day, after the interview, to see how things had gone. He had the kids over that night and we didn't talk long. Fast forward to the present. I find out from mutual friends from the gym that he has been saying some not-so-nice things about me, like I only broke up with him because he got fired. Ummm, no...I stayed with him for some time after he got fired for SEXUALLY HARASSING his employees. I guess he didn't think I was going to find out about his backstabbing because he seemed surprised to have elicited the "don't fucking talk to me ever again" response from me. THEN just now, he instant messages me and asks "what's up?"
I ignored the IM.
It just ticks me off because I don't understand people like that. As much of a jerk as he seems to be, I have never publicly said anything about him that I haven't said to his face!
I ignored the IM.
It just ticks me off because I don't understand people like that. As much of a jerk as he seems to be, I have never publicly said anything about him that I haven't said to his face!
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