Not so Nervous Now

I am not really as nervous as I was earlier about tomorrow. I am kinda excited now. The girls and I went to run a "few" errands and we are just now getting home, getting supper cooked, and I am just now packing. My few errands turned into a full day of shopping! :) We left here at noon and are now getting home at 6 PM. We bought a lot, but greatly discounted because it was all on sale. Plus I bought a ton of books at the Salvation Army. I wanted some books for my week in Belfast and I bought some new plants. A nice creeping vine one, a really nice Ivy one and two spider plants plus a giant palm tree floor plant that I put in my room.

I'm feeling much better about Brian and I. I love him so much. It is foolish to think that we won't drive each other nuts from time to time. He and I also have lots of other stressors in our lives that have nothing to do with each other, yet they can put a negative spin on an otherwise good time. He also mentioned that he is tiring of riding the bike around Maine. The last few weeks, we've been in either northern Maine, southern Maine, or coastal Maine, so I hope we can get a couple more bike trips in out of state.

Well, I am bringing my laptop along on my trip, so hopefully I can find some wireless hotspot either at the hotel or in some cafe so I can still blog. I am bringing the digital so I can take lots of pics. The hotel is right on the ocean and I am praying my room is on the ocean view side instead of the parking lot view! :) There is an indoor pool, gym, hot tub and sauna, so I should be able to keep busy. Not to mention, I'll be minutes from Camden and Lincolnville Beach. I've never visited these places alone. I've always been with a friend or the kids.

I have some things to pack. I need to make a list so I don't forget stuff. I don't have to pack as light as I do when Brian and I are on the bike.

Current Mood: agitation GONE

Current Music: Zoe Girl cd

Weekend Update

This weekend definitely had its ups and downs. Friday was okay, Friday night was better. Brian was tired Saturday but was okay while we were moving his sister's office. The plan was to go back to the house after so we could take a nap and relax before going out Saturday night. We settled in and Seth (his 26 year old nephew) knocked on the door to say goodbye. We settled in again, only to have Paul (his son) call. Remember that Paul was invited along on this trip but opted to go to Bangor with his friends. So he calls Brian and asks if he wants to go fishing or to just hang out (Brian has been waiting for this call ALL summer) and Brian says he can't because he is in Portland helping MJ move her office. Brian became increasingly cranky after the call and at supper Saturday evening asks me if we are heading back to Bangor on Sunday. I was like, HUH? I thought we were here until Monday. He said, "Well, to be honest with you, I'm not feeling that well." So that made me cranky and suffice it to say, we were on the road heading home Sunday morning. By late afternoon we were talking again and he ended up staying in Bangor with me for the night. They were out of single rooms in the hotel, so we got a double and when I walked in, I said, "Oh look honey, you have your own bed!" It was just one of those kinds of weekends. I just wish he wouldn't take his stress out on me. He waits all summer for his son to call him and want to hang out and ends up feeling bad because Paul has essentially ignored him for most of the summer. So Brian has finally agreed to just live his life and has been quite happy I would like to add, but in just that one phone call, he ends up feeling guilty because God forbid he should enjoy himself.

So as much as it is going to kill me to not see Brian this weekend, I think when he calls tonight I am going to make it abundantly clear that I am spending time with my kids this weekend and he should do the same. What I am worried will happen is what always happens, he will find himself all alone all weekend waiting for Paul to call. I am going to be gone all week, not getting back until Friday afternoon. Zach will be home on the 20th, so I am hoping we can spend the day in Old Orchard on the 21st.

Well, I have a million little things to get done before my trip. I think this is my very first business trip. I feel so professional! :)

Current Mood: okay
Current Music: The View theme music

SUPER Night!!!

Zachie stopped in at midnight last night to wake me up with lots of kisses! He could only stay a minute because he and his dad were just driving through and had two more hours of driving before Zach got to his grandparent's house, which is where he'll be until the 20th.

I can't believe how much he's grown. I have not seen him since the morning I left for Laconia, way back on June 11th. I just realized that yesterday was August 11th, exactly two months. At least he is back in Maine and I don't have to deal with this stuff again until next June.

I talked with Brian about a half hour ago. He will be here between 9:30 and quarter of 10. We have lots to do today. I am all packed and ready to go. Nails done, legs shaved! I broke a nail this morning though. Doesn't that just tick me off.

When I get back, I'll be heading down to Belfast for the week. Don't I wish life was this busy all the time!

Current Mood: elated because my baby is home

Current Music: Dirty Laundry.....Don Henley

Grocery Shopping: Done
Bill paying: Done
Laundry: Started
Bags Packed: Not yet
Legs Shaved: Not yet
Toenails Painted: Next


I am super tired and not as motivated as I was an hour or so ago. Kayla and I did the grocery shopping. I'll go again Monday night before I leave for the week, so I can make sure the kids have enough snack stuff and food to make light and easy meals. Plus plenty of drinks for them. They love flavored water and we go through a lot of it. I did buy them some Gatorade this week, but I don't usually. It has been so hot though, so I thought I'd get them something different.

Current Mood: getting sleepy
Current Music: my Godsword CD

Last Day

Thanks, Tanya, for your comments. Today was indeed my last day. Bailey has a surprise for me tomorrow, as does Emily's mom, Traci. I have to stop in to pick up my last check, so I will be getting my last hugs in tomorrow morning. I'm feeling tired because it has been an exhausting week at work, but I am sure it will be sinking in here very soon.

And yes, it is truly wonderful to be so much in love that you can't stand being apart for very long and spending every second you are together having a good time.

I am looking forward to this weeknd. I love going downstate. Although, I haven't spent any amount of time in Bangor lately, so I can't really say I am as bored of this area as I have been. My Zachie should be on the road for home right now! I can't wait to hug him and kiss him and cuddle with him.

I hope all of blogworld has a happy and wonderful weekend.



Current Mood: super happy it is the WEEKEND!!!

Current Music: Total Eclipse.......Bonnie Tyler

AHHHHHH!!!

I am in a much better mood. The dishes were done when I got home from work. I mopped the kitchen floor. Swept the living room, hallway, and bathroom. Washed the kitchen table, appliances, sink and stove. Scrubbed the toilet. Now I am sitting in the living room, teenagers banished to the upstairs and I am watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre...I LOVE this movie! :)

Current mood: better
Current Music: The Twilight Zone by Golden Earring

KIDS!!!

I am presently sitting in my living room with 5 teenagers and my five year old cousin Abby. My living room isn't big to begin with, but with 5 bodies, not including mine and Abby's, the room fills up fast. It is times like this in which I appreciate my parents and friends' parents more for putting up with my own group of friends. We had a group that was very 90210-like, always at each others' houses, always needing rides to and from places. Our parents took turns entertaining us.

One more day at work. Brian is picking me up early Friday morning. We'll stop in at work so I can get my last check and run to the bank so I can deposit it and then we have to head to Augusta. He has some tax paperwork to pick up in regards to his business, then we're on our way to Portland.

So tonight when I get home, I have to pack and clean.

Current Mood: okay, but it's HOT!

Current Movie: Abby is watching Good Boy

Yay!!!

I have a 3 hour lunch today! :)

I'm going to go make some lunch and relax before going back to work.

So Much for Quiet!

I had 7 kids today. If Noah wasn't on vacation, I'd have had 8. But if Noah hadn't been on vacation, I wouldn't have gotten both 2 1/2 year olds, because I am not allowed to by law.

Anyway, I am now working 8-5:30 tomorrow and Thursday. Wonder-f888ing-ful! But on the bright side, my preschoolers will have me all day tomorrow and Thursday and they LOVE that and I will have a much larger check come Friday!

I did some figuring today and I am getting 35 miles per gallon with my car around town. I will have to check highway mileage when I take another trip to Presque Isle or when I drive to Old Orchard Beach.

Brian and I will be leaving for Portland Friday morning. I can't wait. I am so excited about having a 4 day weekend. Plus my week in Belfast will seem like a vacation, even though I'll be in meetings all day long. We'll be done around suppertime every day and the rest of the evening is ours to do what we will.

Brian and I are tentatively discussing winter vacation plans. His sister MJ and her husband Steve winter in Florida every year and ask him to spend a week down there every year, which he never does. Well, they asked again, this time asking me too, so we're definitely considering a few days away with them and at Disney World. With this new job, I get two weeks paid vacation, plus 10 sick days and 10 personal days, and 5 more days of emergency medical leave in case one of my kids or parents has a medical emergency. We've both decided we are going to spend more time traveling. I know you're thinking that that is all Brian and I do, but we're talking more out of the way than the East Coast. Hopefully next year at this time, he and I will be planning our Europe trip. I want that to take place spring 2007. I also want to squeeze in a trip or two to the West Coast. There isn't any reason why he and I can't get away every once in awhile as long as it is well-planned. Plus, I think a trip every few months gives you something to look forward to. This past year for instance, the kids and I had fun planning and looking forward to our Virginia Beach/ DC vacation and right after that, for me it was Laconia, then New Hampshire again. Brian has never been to a show on Broadway, so he told me to go ahead and order tickets and plan our trip. You gotta love a guy like that! He is always up for anything. We both want Grease. I've seen it, but LOVE it. I also want to see Wicked and I'd love to see the Lion King again. Kayla and I have also seen Annie. I also would LOVE to see Beauty and the Beast on Broadway on Valentine's Day. That would be the most romantic of all!

Current Mood: much better than earlier
Current Music: Tainted Love on the Coneheads DVD......Love that movie!!!

Another Day Another Dollar

As much as I love my job, I am getting tired of combining classrooms and having more than my share of kids for the WHOLE time I am there. If they were all my preschoolers, that is one thing, but it is a pain to throw in some 2 and 3 year olds...they kind of slow us down. I've only had 3-4 preschoolers for the last 3 weeks, yet my room is almost always full. Yes, I have had a day off the last 2 weeks, and because of this room combining, I've needed the days off. It just has me kind of a little ticked off that the last week I have with the kids, I have to spend all of it extra busy. I understand from a business standpoint that combining rooms when we're short on kids allows someone to be sent home which saves on payroll, but from a professional standpoint, it really disrupts my routine with my preschoolers and makes me cranky by the end of the day!!! But like Brian said, only 3 more days. Another thing that ticks me off though, is that the new preschool teacher won't HAVE to deal with any of this. She will ONLY have her own students so that they can establish a routine of their own. Maybe today will be a quiet peaceful day.

Off to get my latte! That always helps perk up my mood. I can't wait to see Brian on Friday!

Current Mood: hot and a little cranky
Current Music: Hells Bells........ACDC

Not Bored

No, I am not bored. I just had more to blog.

Kayla and I went to Wendy's for supper. I talked with Zach for a little while on the phone. For some reason, he STILL doesn't want a welcome back party. I find this odd and I will get to the bottom of it eventually.

The girls just left to take a walk. It is almost 8 PM at nite and still in the high 80's. Beautiful night for taking a walk, which is exactly what Brian and I would be doing if I were up there right now. Taking a walk or sitting out on the porch swing at his parents' house.

One of Brian's sisters has two herniated discs and is flat on her back right now. His friend is finally coming home from the hospital today. His cousin had an emergency appendectomy yesterday. He said, "Why does all the good stuff happen when I'm out of town?" He was joking of course, but I am glad that it all happened while we were already away, or he probably wouldn't have been able to get out of town!

I forgot my book at work. I'll have to find something different to read tonight.

SO, now I think I am done blogging. I will go pee and get into my jammies and climb into bed, read a little and maybe watch a movie! Oh, and of course wait for my nightly phone call from Brian. Nighty night

Congrats!!!

Congratulations to Teresa! She got engaged this weekend! That is definitely very happy news!

What a long day at work! Only 3 more days left. I agree with Tanya that this will all finally sink in pretty soon. I talked with Jessy about it today and she really doesn't want me to leave and made me promise I'd visit and said I'd always have a job there, so that was very nice.

I heard today from my friend Terri, who moved to Alaska over a year ago. She loves teaching there. Good for her! I can't imagine embarking on an adventure like that all by myself. It takes a great deal of courage. She also DROVE her car all the way from Maine to Alaska alone! I think I would have freaked out at some point!

I am exhausted today. Kayla and I are going to Wendy's for some supper. Then we'll probably come home and watch some movies. It is stinking hot today. 98 degrees. Hot and humid! I am almost ready for Fall! Only almost, though.

That is too bad about Peter Jennings dying. Lung cancer is a horrible, horrible disease. Please beg any of your friends and family members that may smoke to quit. Aside from the danger, it is just a nasty, ugly habit.

This was a pretty unexciting Monday, but I'll take it.

Current Mood: hungry and happy
Current Music: Toby Keith cd

Home Again Home Again

Finally home from Portland. What a beautiful weekend. Brian and I had a wonderful time with his sister MJ and her husband Steve. We're going back next weekend, as I have a 4 day weekend and I am talking Brian into taking Friday and Monday off, too. We drove home along the coast. Very nice ride. We ate supper in Camden. Brian got a nice lobster roll, while I got a Caesar salad and we shared some delicious crabmeat dip and toasted baguettes. Friday night, Brian and I drove along the strip in Old Orchard Beach on the bike. Instead of staying in MJ and Steve's very beautiful house, we stayed in their very beautiful RV. Shower, toilet, bedroom, kitchen, living room, two tv's, dvd player, AIR CONDITIONING...All in all, a superb time!

I think I am heading to Dunkin Donuts to get a Turtle Nut Iced Latte. Yummy, yummy! Then I think I will relax in bed with a good book and wait for Brian to call and let me know he made it home.

I am embarking on my last week at work with mixed emotions. Glad to be starting my new job, but sad to see this old one go.

So I hope everyone out there in blogland had a wonderful weekend, too!

Current Mood: blissful
Current Music: Love Shack

Portland Bound

Brian is meeting me at work today and we're going to leave from there for Portland. Should be a fun weekend. It is supposed to be beautiful weather so it should be nice on the bike.

After the fair yesterday, I cleaned my car. Then I decided to mow the lawn, which led to pulling weeds, which led to raking. I ended up working outside for 2 hours. I worked up a good sweat and the lawn looks much better. Prior to this, I have always tended to hate yard work. I actually enjoyed myself last night!!! Not to mention, by the time I fell into bed, I slept pretty solid.

I have to leave for work in about 20 minutes. Yesterday was a very enjoyable day off. Hopefully today is a nice quiet day at work.

Current Mood: well-rested

Current Music: Grace Like Rain..........Todd Agnew

Bangor State Fair

Kayla and I were at the fair by 1. We rode on 14 rides. We couldn't do any more than that because we were both exhausted! Gone are the days when I can ride any ride any number of times. The ground is a hell of a lot farther away then it used to be. We rode on the water roller coaster 2 times. The tilt-a-wheel 3 times. The thunderbolt, aka The Flying Bobs, 3 times. The Cliff Hanger once. The gondola ferris wheel, one time only because Kayla started crying. Some other spinning ride a couple of times. Freak Out and The Round-Up once each. We also went to the petting zoo. Spent $6 on a Blooming Onion and $4 for iced tea and bottled water. Then another $6 on the new Turtle Nut Iced Lattes from Dunkin Donuts. Very yummy, I might add. I have a headache from hell. I think it is a combination of a few things, like the weather and all the rides. Kayla and I just looked at each other after I told her we needed 6 more rides to equal 20 each. We decided we'd take the loss and call it a day!

All that being said, we had a nice time. About 20 minutes into it though, I came to the conclusion that I'm just not "fair people". Not that I ever was, but I don't recall feeling this out of place before. I'm the "hand sanitizer, brush my teeth, Six Flags" kind of person. Maybe it was the Louis Vuitton purse, I don't know. I've never been one of those mothers with purses that strap around the waist. I've never worn velcro shoes before either. My socks always match and my shoes match my belt. AND if I ever weighed more than 300 plus pounds, you'd better believe I would not be wearing short shorts and a tank top with no bra, flirting with carnies for an extra ride on the tilt-a-wheel!

About two hours into it, I realized that my life has definitely reached a turning point. Kayla will be 16 years old in February. It was kind of like hanging out with a friend today at the fair. Hayley had called earlier and asked to go to the mall with a friend today instead of the fair, so Kayla and I had some time alone together. I have desperately missed the old days when they were little, but I think this new stage will be easier to adjust to than I thought. I am so lucky that I have such close relationships with the kids, even in their teen years. They have really never given me anything to complain about. I was always told, just wait until the teen years. Well, they are here and I still think I have pretty great kids. Kayla wants to take a year off between high school and college and be a missionary, then finish school, get married and have two kids. A girl she wants to name Jenna Mae (Jenna, after me and my great grandmother, Jennie Mae) and a boy she wants to name Hayden (after her sister, Hayley Jordan). What mother would want more than that for their almost adult daughter? Granted, we all know that life rarely works out like we think it will when we're 16, but she has a realistic, solid and responsible plan in front of her and is way ahead of the game than I ever was.

Current Mood: very tired but very happy
Current Music: Living on the Edge..........Aerosmith

New Plans

New plans. I am doing my laundry and repacking. I mopped the hallway, entryway, kitchen and bathroom floors AND Kayla and I are going to the Bangor State Fair today. We weren't going to go on bracelet day because it is $6 per person just to get in and an additional $15 per person for a bracelet to ride on the rides, but that was before I got the whole day off from work. Conceivebly, Kayla and I can ride on more than 15 rides each if we start at say 1 or 2 PM. If I hadn't had the day off, we wouldn't have gotten there until around 6:30 or 7 PM...that is only 3 hours of trying to get in at least 15 rides, competing with long lines, etc. If we can get in 20 rides today, that makes each ride about 75 cents a ride.

Day Off!

I have the day off! Yippee!!!

I so desperately need this day! I am going to do my laundry and repack it all because I am indeed going with Brian this weekend to Portland. We are taking the bike down. While I am kind of sorry that I miss a weekend at home, I am SO glad I get a weekend in the REAL world! Presque Isle, to me, is not the real world. It is the world that time forgot. Nice for a visit, but if I really, really loved it, I'd be living there and making my and Brian's life easier. I can say that I wouldn't love it with certainty because I lived up there for 15 months, two days, 6 hours, not to mention that I just spent the last 4 weekends in a row up there!

I think I will take the girls to the beach today.

I am off to get my latte and pay some bills.

One more week left of work.

Stuff

I talked with Jessy last night and she said that she hired a new preschool teacher for my position. She is coming in at 3 PM today to work with me so she can meet the kids and get a feel for the environment. She is looking for a 2 year or so stint before continuing work on her bachelor's. It sounds like it should be a great fit. Now I just have to convince Bailey to give her a chance. The other kids should adjust very well and the transition should be a smooth one. On the bright side, Bailey knows that I'm in her life now, whether I am her teacher or not, so she can see me whenever she wants.

I'm still waiting to hear if I am going with Brian to Portland this weekend. He is helping his sister move her office from one building to the new site. He originally invited his son Paul to go so they could spend some time together, as he's been with me every weekend since Laconia, but Paul has football practice on Sunday at like 9 AM and had some other stuff going on, so he doesn't know if he'll be able to get away. So I may or may not be heading to Portland this weekend. While it will be nice to be with Brian, a weekend at home would be nice, too, so it is all up in the air right at this time.

There is a new sidewalk cafe/restaurant across the street from Ampersand's is. I haven't tried it yet. There is also a new bar and grill opened up across the street from Bear Brew which I have yet to try as well. I have spent the last 4 weekends in Presque Isle. The weekend before that, in New Hampshire. The weekend before that, Bangor, for Julie's wedding and the two weekends in a row before that in Laconia, New Hampshire. This weekend could be Portland or home, next weekend is Portland, then I am in Belfast for the week. Zach will be home the weekend after that, so it looks like Old Orchard Beach will be at that time.

Next week is my last week at work. Hard to believe, but I really think I am ready to go. I am so excited about this new job. I am at one of those exciting crossroads in my life where my path could go anywhere. Kind of like freshman year of college. Aside from being back at the FLC program and with the kids, it is quite a privilege to be working with Shawn and Claire. Both are well respected and well known individuals in the community and surrounding areas and sit on the city council as well as numerous boards, such as United Way, school board, etc., so not only are they personally committed to making a difference in the life of children, they are politically and strategically connected to actually MAKE a difference in the life of a child. It will be an honor to be a sponge and soak up their knowledge and expertise.

Well, I now have to go do my hair for work. Adios amigos!

August 2, 2005

Work was long today. The kids and I made "magic" wands. We read a lot of stories. They all took great naps. The kitchen and everything was done by 12:45. I just feel so exhausted. Kayla and I are going to Staples. I need to get a new calendar section for my day planner. I'm just in the mood to spend some money, even though I do need a new one. Office supply stores are where I go when I am stressed out, anxious, bored, or sad, or all of the above or neither of the above!

Only in Preschool Land

A Recent Conversation with Bailey

Bailey: I'm going to Good Grandma's house for 3 whole days!
Me: Good Grandma? Do you mean to tell me you have a bad Grandma?
Bailey: (major eye roll) Noooooooo, I don't have a bad grandma, but Jennifer, they aren't ALL great-grandmas!!!


Too damn funny!

Much Better

I am feeling much better today. My period still hasn't started, but my bad mood seems to have dissipated. Two more weeks and then I'll be off to my training for a week in beautiful Belfast. I need to be there Tuesday thru Friday. Training all day and back at the hotel at night. All expenses are covered so I am looking forward to it. It will be busy during the day, but with ocean views, indoor pool, and being minutes from Camden, I think I will survive it somehow! Not only will I be starting my new job when I am back, but my son will be home, too!

I got news from my ex-brother-in-law's wife that they had to put down their dog. They had Spencer for about a year and a half before we got ours. Spencer was a Dalmatian and their lifespan is between 11-13 years. Our dog is now 11 and has had medical problems since she was about 6. Kodi is a black lab/Dalmatian mix and labs have a similar life span as the Dalmatian. Kayla and I have already discussed all of this. Right now, Kodi has many more good days than bad days. On the bad, we keep her in more and she takes her doggy aspirin. On the good days, usually the very next day, she is bouncing around as much as when she was a puppy. We've decided that when she starts having more bad days than good, it'll be time for her to be put to sleep. She is just so protective of the kids and I and we feel very, very safe having our big girl around, that when the time comes, we are definitely go to miss not only her and her quirky personality, but the security she provides. Hopefully that is still a year or two or more away!

Well, it is time to leave for work, I guess.

Super Cranky

I am super cranky right now. That time of the month is coming this week, so I am sure that has something to do with it. Plus, I hate having to leave Brian Monday mornings AND I haven't talked to my son since Wednesday night. He was being a brat on the phone Wednesday, so instead of saying something to him I would regret later, I simply told him that I needed to go and that when he was in the mood to be less rude, then we'd talk. He didn't even call me on my birthday and that really hurt my feelings. I am more ticked off at his father. I go out of my way to make sure Zach remembers to call his father on his birthday or Father's Day, so I would expect the same courtesy, whether Zach and I were in a tiff or not.

Oh well, tomorrow is a new day. I really, really hope they hire someone new BEFORE my two weeks is up. I want to go back to my regular 8 AM - Noon shift.

Thank you!

It was a very happy birthday for me yesterday, so thank you to everyone. I was at work about 20 minutes and the flower delivery guy showed up with a dozen red roses from Brian. Very beautiful! After lunch, during the kids nap time, the flower delivery girl showed up with a beautiful basket of spring/summer flowers with a card that said, Love, Bailey! SO sweet! Jessy had made me a birthday cake from scratch and Sammi came to school to visit me. She has been at the Y getting used to the kids there because she starts kindergarten next month and she will be going to the Y's afterschool program. I then went home to get the girls. We went to my mother's for lasagna, with my brothers and my niece and nephew. Then the girls and I went to the movies to see Willy Wonka. It was good. I have the same thoughts about the remake as I did the first movie...I LOVE THE BOOK! Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was one of my all-time favorite books when I was a kid and I have read it so many times. It is just one of those books where the mental imagery is so much better than anything Hollywood can come up with. That is not to say either movie isn't great. It is just one of those cases where if I had seen the movie first, I'd have probably enjoyed it more.

I came home to find not one, but TWO cards from Brian. I knew they were from Brian immediately because only he and my mother write my FULL legal name on an envelope. I knew they were from Brian and not my mother because only Brian tapes the backs of cards! One was funny and one was mushy. I called him immediately to thank him for the cards and flowers and he asked about the present. I was like, "WHAT present?" SOOOOOOO, I have a package that should be here by today. I will stop home after work and check the mail and then be on my way to visit Brian for the weekend. I am so excited to see what he got me! :)

It is going to be a perfect weekend, weather-wise...sunny and mid to high 70's. Low humidity. Finally!!! :)

Two more weeks left for me at the preschool! We start interviewing next week.

Other than that, not much else is going on.

Random Thoughts

It is finally RAINING!!! I hope this is a sign of some relief from the high temps today.
My neighbor is an older lady and she is deathly afraid of thunderstorms and Hayley is over with her right now, sitting with her, talking and playing cards. Dee (the woman) does okay if she has company. I think it is very sweet that all three of my kids understand and respect her fears and sit with her until the storm is over.

Kayla and I have a clean house and we are just sitting around, relaxing and reading. Kayla is reading Queen of the Damned...book 3 in the Lestat series by Anne Rice. I am reading three books. I haven't done that since high school. I used to be able to keep a couple of books going at once. Right now, depending on my mood, I am reading book 7 of the Left Behind series, Wicked and She's Not There by Jennifer Finney Boylan about a person changing genders. It also has an afterward written by one of my all-time favorite authors Richard Russo (Empire Grill). After that, Hayley should be done her new Harry Potter book, so I can start it. I read the last one in less than 24 hours. I think I am going to savor this one.

I read about al-Qiada taking responsibility about the murders of the Algerian diplomats. Right after I read that they are writing Jennifer Garner's pregnancy into the script of Alias. Got me to thinking, who gives a flying f*** about her pregnancy or writing it in the show. The world is quickly falling apart and yet the media are keeping us abreast of Jennifer Garner. Then I started to answer my own question. Sadly, I have a feeling that more people in this country care about entertainment news than they do of world news. To play the Devil's advocate, I do think what makes us so resiliant as a nation is our ability to take it all in stride. While we may care about the world, it won't stop us from caring about more trivial matters that at least keep our minds off of constant doom and gloom. I've taken about a year's hiatus from watching television. I still watch movies on dvd with the kids, but as far as regular programming, I might tune into a show if I am at a hotel or what have you, but at night time, I go to bed and read. I have got to admit that after taking this year to detox, I am finding t.v. less than entertaining. It seems frivilous and mindless. Mind you, I still LOVE 90210, Buffy and Charmed. :) We all need some mindless frivilites once in awhile.

Okie dokie, it is thundering and lightning right now, so time to shut off the computer, surge protected or not!

There is a God!!!

5 minutes after posting my last post, Erica called from work. Carey is short on kids today, so even though I have a full class, the extra body isn't needed. So I was given a choice of taking the day off, or coming in to work so someone else could go home. I chose the day off! :) These 5.5 hours are not as important to me as they are to Erin or Carey right now. It is clouding up, though, so beach plans are off. Thunderstorms are looming. I'll go tanning later and spend today cleaning and relaxing with a good book and hanging with my daughters.

Hot, Hot, Hot!!!

Just 9:30 in the morning and it is already 88 degrees out. This has been one hot and muggy summer!!!

I really, really hope Jessy hires someone soon for Jade's job. I liked my 8-12 shift because it gave me somewhat of a summer with the kids. This 10:30-5:30 crap is getting very old very fast and I've only been doing it since last Friday. Isn't is funny though, that when you don't want any extra hours, you find yourself in situations where they can't be avoided and when you do need the hours, we'll have snow days or viruses going around the daycare, sending everyone home early? On the bright side, and yes, there is always a bright side, I get to spend more time with my preschoolers during my last 3 weeks there. I end one job and start another the next day. That one will be full-time and there goes the end of my summer! :)

Well, I suppose I should spend some time with the kids before heading off to work. We went shopping last night. I bought a new pair of Calvin Klein jeans (size 6, which surprised me) and two new shirts. One Ralph Lauren polo shirt (black) and one Red Fox polo shirt (hot pink). I also bought a really nice leather photo albumn for the Laconia bike trip photos. I put them all in it last night. I think I am going to buy another one for all of the D.C./Virginia Beach trip photos.

Stuff

Now on to Brian and myself. We would make beautiful children together. My kids would LOVE to have a baby in the house. Brian's don't live with him. It is definitely something to think about in the future, but we'd have to know for sure it isn't just because we are quickly facing the "empty nest" years. I honestly don't think we'd regret the decision to have another one, but having our own seems so selfish though when there are some many children out there now that need parents to love them.

Again though, this would be a ways down the road. We need to at least live in the same zip code, be married, etc. We're getting there, slowly but surely.

Update

I spent the weekend with Brian again. We had another wonderful few days together.

Jessy fired Jade last Thursday. I closed for her Friday and I am doing so again today.

My uncle's funeral was very sad. It was good to see the rest of my family, though. I even had a chance to see my Aunt Cindy, whom I haven't seen in about 3 years.

I have to get to work and I will blog alot more tonight. Exciting news will be: Brian has finally come to the conclusion that I am THE ONE. Also, Brian and I discussed having kids. It was in the heat of the moment kinda thing, and we're both not ready to have any now, but we talked briefly about adoption and the possibility of having his vasectomy reversed. He is not very keen on that idea. His sperm can also be extracted without a reversal, about $5000 a pop, and he wasn't too keen on THAT either! And I don't really have 9 months to commit to a pregnancy, being as busy as I am and will be for sometime. So I said that I would probably be just as happy with a puppy! :)

Another Boring Day

Only 6 kids in the preschool today. I now have tomorrow off, but I will be taking the kids to the beach. I possibly have Friday off, too.

B.O.O.M.F.M.

That's right! Bored Out Of My Freaking Mind!!!

It is too hot to do anything useful, like cleaning! I tried reading but my room is way too hot. Kind of late in the day for the beach, plus with such high humidity in the air, I am not relishing the idea of getting wet and then feeling wet the rest of the evening.

I could take a run out to camp to visit with my grandparents and swim in the pool...BUT there is bound to be lots of sadness in light of recent events and I am not really feeling up to that.

It is just one of those hot hot days when you don't want to do a darn thing but whine about how hot and miserable you are!

Plus, I am missing Brian like crazy!

Work

Well, we had a total of 8 kids today in the entire building. A virus is going around. Fun, Fun!!!
I only had 2 preschoolers. I gave my notice today. I let them know that August 13th will be my last day.
I am going to help in the interview process so we can find a good replacement and Carey will be leaving the daycare as of August 4th. She will be joining her husband on the army base he'll be transferring to.

My uncle's service will be Friday.

It is hot and muggy today. Worse than yesterday. I'm hoping to head to the beach tomorrow after work, as the day is supposed to be beautiful.

Other than that, the day has been uneventful so far. A much nicer alternative than yesterday.

Sad News

I had a wonderful weekend with Brian and I got back this morning at about 7 AM, drove to work and was there by 8 AM and received a phone call about 10 minutes after getting there. My uncle committed suicide last evening and my aunt received the news about 3 AM this morning. The police showed up to her house and told her. They had been divorced a few years now, but it was still pretty devastating news. She immediately went to my mother's house and from there, my mom and dad and my aunt went to my grandparent's so they could tell Meghan. Meghan is my aunt and uncle's 15 year old daughter, who was staying out to camp with my grandparents for the weekend. Needless to say, Meghan is taking this hard. My uncle has had depression problems in the past, but personally, I never in a million years thought it would end in this way. He hid it well. The details are still trickling in. Like, it was a gunshot wound, like he had already called the funeral home and made arrangements just prior to pulling the trigger. He had left two notes, one about the funeral arrangements and one to his girlfriend. He had called Meghan yesterday at lunchtime and she had noted that he had sounded sad and that he had been crying, but with this not being his first "sad" call, and her being only 15, she didn't think much of it.

Happy Birthday Hayley Jordan!!!

My Hayley Jordan is 14 today!

I am presently getting ready for work and packing for the weekend and BLOGGING! :)

Last night, Erin and Eric, Kayla and I went to the movies. We saw Dark Water. It was okay. The ending kind of sucked, but a good way to waste 10 bucks nonetheless!

The girls will be with their dad all weekend and Brian and I will be in Presque Isle attending the Hog Rally and the Festival.

Today I have to:

get my latte
go to work
pick up daughter Hayley
go to bank
take girls to their dad's
get gas
throw clothes in car
be out of town no later than 1 PM!

I wanted to go tanning today, but it isn't looking good. Not if I want to be on the road by 1. They are paving a lot of roads in the area which isn't condusive to speediness.

Current Mood: still sleepy
Current Music: Run to You....... Bryan Adams

Happy Birthdays and other stuff...

Happy Birthdays to my Aunt Dawn and my cousin Shawna (July 14th) and Happy Birthday to my little girl Hayley (15th) and to her grandfather (16th).

So my little nap that I was to partake in at 3 PM turned into an all-nighter. I slept from 3-8 PM, talked to Brian for awhile and then back to sleep until 7 this morning.

I have a phone conference at 2 PM today, then tanning, then my hair appointment. Tomorrow I work until noon and then I am driving to Presque Isle for the weekend. The festival is this weekend, as is some Hog Rally (hogs as in Harleys) that Brian wants to go to. The weekend is supposed to be beautiful, so I'm sure we'll be doing some riding.

I think work has seemed so hectic lately because I've had a full class everyday this week. I've gotten kind of used to the laid back days when some of the kids would be on vacation. Sammi's last day is tomorrow. I am going to miss her bigtime, but she lives close by so I'll be seeing her often, and one less body in the class will probably make a big difference.

Zach has been calling more frequently. He starts missing home about this time in the summer. He will be back in Maine on the 11th of August, but he will be in Presque Isle the 11th-21st, visiting with his dad and his dad's parents. Lucky for him Brian lives in Presque Isle, so I plan on seeing him the weekend he gets back. I'll still leave him up there for the week, but it will be good to get my arms around him!!!

That is pretty much all to report. I'm still tired but I don't think I will do a nap today. Payday is tomorrow! I can't wait to see Brian!

Wiped!!!

I am wiped out. I have one quick errand, which is to run to the post office. After that, I think I am going to read a little and take a NAP! I can't believe tomorrow is Thursday already! This summer is flying by!!!

Bailey & Jenn

Bailey & Jenn
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Just me and my girl!

Bailey, Sammi & Crystal

Bailey, Sammi & Crystal
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

My most favorite 4 year olds!

The Girls

The Girls
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

These are my girls. Hard to believe Sammi's (on the bottom) last day is Friday! She starts kindergarten in the fall.

One Left

Only one kitty left. The rest have found nice homes and this one probably won't last long.

Nothing terribly exciting going on since leaving work today. I went tanning and ran a few errands with Kayla. We came home and cleaned a little and then treated ourselves to some iced coffee from Dunkin' Donuts.

I caught up on some current events. The world is quickly going to Hell in a handbasket.

I am missing Brian BIG TIME right now. When I drove up to see him this weekend because we were missing each other so much, we started thinking about it and we had only been apart for 4 days. We've gone weeks without seeing each other before, but the last 3 months or so, it has been increasingly difficult and frustrating. He mentioned renting a house on the lake for a few weeks so we could spend some time out there. I think that will be fun.




Current Mood: very happy
Current Music: Kelly Clarkson

Trying to Sleep

Trying to Sleep
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Bailey and Baxter trying to sleep. They were too excited getting to know each other.

At Last

At Last
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Finally napping after the morning's excitement. I predict a lifetime of lots of happy napping with this pair!

Bailey and Baxter

Bailey and Baxter
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

The best day of Bailey's life! :) Her parents said she could keep one of my kittens. She is so happy and excited! Baxter LOVES his new mommy!

Home Again

I am finally home. I left Saturday morning and headed up to Presque Isle to be with Brian this weekend. I left this morning and drove home in time to get my latte and then head to work. We had a great time this weekend. Saturday we just hung out and he cleaned the office and we visited with his parents for awhile. Then we went to Carl's Seafood Shack in Perth-Andover (Canada) for some supper. Sunday we spent the day riding the motorcycle and cooked out on the grill for supper. We had some yummy steaks, some fiddleheads and some potatoes I sliced up with some onions, butter, salt and pepper, and motz cheese, wrapped it all in tin foil and threw that on the grill. Delicious. It was very sweet and romantic, just cooking for the two of us, with no kids to feed. We went for an evening stroll after dinner and then home to bed.

It was good to be back to work today. I missed the kids. David (Bailey's dad) said he is letting Bailey and Madison have one of my kittens! :) That makes me SO excited. Bailey too!

I'm bushed and I am heading to bed.

Another Busy Day

I had a meeting at 9 AM this morning at FLC in Parkwoods. I met with Claire and Shawn and discussed the upcoming year and my job responsibilities. It was nice to connect with them and to run into some of the kids. Courtney kept hugging me. She is five and would say, "I just need another hug! I missed you!" I haven't seen the kids since our Christmas party.

I talked to Brian this afternoon. Cassie wrote him a 2 page letter, so I hope things are headed in the right direction for them. He was having a stressed out afternoon and was glad I called when I did.

After my meeting, I picked up Kayla at my mother's. Then we went to work so I could get my check, which wasn't there. It was at the other Brian's work in Brewer. While at the preschool, I could hear the smoke dectector going off in the apartment upstairs. Nobody was home. So I called Jessy and explained the situation. She was going to call Cindy and/or the Bangor Fire Department to check things out. Then I drove to Brewer to pick up my check. Finally made it back to Orono to deposit my check, pick up daughter number 2 and then head over to my grandmother's to pick her up so she could run some errands. We ran all of her errands, I dropped her back off, and then went to the post office to take care of bizness. It is now 3 PM. I am beat. I am going to relax for a little while and then go tanning.

I'm glad I got that little burst of energy! Any project I was putting off for "spring cleaning" next year, I got done TODAY! I amaze myself sometimes. I have all three children gone right now. Hayley is at Devon's house. Kayla is at my mom's. Zach is still with his dad in Virginia, obviously. Let's see how long things stay picked up now! :)

The day zipped right by with me staying busy! I hate being bored. I even put some more pictures in my photo album. This one is now full. I want to buy a motorcycle themed one for our Laconia pictures. Someday I might even get around to scrapbooking. I have always wanted to, but I am just so darn busy and I find the whole process overwhelming. Too many decisions to make and I am quite a perfectionist when it comes to things like that. So what I did a few Christmas's ago was buy Kayla tons of scrapping paper, fancy scissors, different paper cutters that cut paper evenly, borders, stickers, accessories, etc and a big fancy snapping, plastic box thingy to hold everything. I also bought her a few scrapbooks and rolls of film. I gave her my 35 mm camera to use. She got right into it and now she and her sister both do it. Hayley is more into knitting. So that year, I bought her tons of yarn and needles and pattern books. She is quite good now and last year, I swear, I spent MORE money on her knitting supplies for Christmas than I did for any of the other stuff. It is a very expensive hobby but it is good for her attention span and she makes scarves, blankets, mittens. All I can make is a scarf. I am better at crocheting. This Christmas, I also bought Hayley some cross-stitch kits and she is learning that, too. I love to cross-stitch. One of those things that I don't have time to do anymore. I used to do it when the kids were napping when they were little.

While cleaning my room today, I found a note from Zach. It read: Dear Mom, I love you! I would like to watch a movie with you that YOU want to watch. Love, Zach. P.S. Please don't pick Little Nicky.

Now I guess I am going to relax and finish my book. Brian will be calling later. He was so sweet on the phone last night. I was just rambling on about something and he interrupts and says, "I love you."

Current Mood: happy now that things are organized!
Current Music: You & Me Lifehouse

Motivation!!!

I am taking a little break at the moment, but I've been organizing for over an hour straight! Hayley is cleaning up the kitchen for me and then we're going to weed thru clothes. Then I will clean out the pantry and fridge and we can go grocery shopping later and fill it back up. I don't know why, but reducing the amount of stuff I have in my house is very stress-relieving and relaxing. I love to throw things away. It seems I do this 3 or 4 times a year, with one major one in the spring.

Okay, back to the grind!

July 7th

Hayley's birthday is next Friday. My birthday isn't until the end of the month. I'm excited about spending some of it with Brian. Last summer, at this time, we were broken up and I was seeing AJ. I got quite a nice shopping spree out of the deal, but I'd rather have been with Brian.

Well, I have a spur of energy, so I am going to put myself to good use and clean a little. I'll blog later!

Sad News

Well, yesterday was full of sad news. I found out that my OB-GYN, who has been my doctor since I was 16, passed away back in February. He died of natural causes while skiing at Sugarloaf. He wasn't on call the evening I had Kayla on February 24, 1990, but February 24th was his birthday, so that was kind of neat. Hayley was born in 1991 and Zach in 1994. Any woman who has kids knows how close you get to your doctor while pregnant. What is hard for me to fathom is that he was 63!!! Not that 63 is old, but he was 48 when Kayla was born! Sometimes you just expect people to stay the same age, especially when you only see them from time to time, and he definitely never looked his age. He was a very young looking, very good looking doctor, which is why I stayed with him all this time! :)

One of the kittens passed away at the vet's unexpectedly.

My cousin Melanie and her husband Sean had their baby on July 2nd. The doctors are doing some tests because there was some indication while inutero that the baby had down syndrome. It is hard to tell for sure right now, with the baby only a few days old. He appears to be healthy otherwise. Down syndrome babies tend to have problems with their hearts and kidneys, which this one does, but he was 9 lbs and 1 ounce and his name is Henri Michael, so that is a good healthy size. Obviously this baby will be spoiled rotten regardless of its medical conditions. My mother and two aunts are special education teachers, so if any family is or can be prepared for a special needs child, it is this one.

July 5th

Okie dokie, update time. Let's see. Brian called me early Friday evening very upset, saying he really needed to talk to me. He finished up at the office and called me after he calmed down a little later in the evening. He had gotten in a huge fight with his almost 19 year old daughter. Let's just say, the divorce between he and his ex-wife was extremely messy, with her cheating on him several times, once with her own sister's husband, yet he STILL speaks fairly nice of her around his kids. He also knocks himself out making himself extremely available for his children, even if that means canceling plans with me on occasion. He drives himself crazy trying to be there for them and for me and he can get very overwhelmed at times. So it was a complete shock to him to have his daughter start swearing at him and say some of the things she said to him. It started with Cassie moving to North Carolina with her boyfriend a few weeks ago. Brian did not approve of this arrangement, but figured if he wanted a relationship with his daughter, he kind of had to let her do what she wanted. She is an adult. Well, this adult still gets gas cards from Dad and still gets her cell phone paid for by Dad and still got several hundred dollars for miscellaneous expenses for this moving trip he didn't want to happen. While in Laconia, we picked out several things for her and he sent it in a big package, along with more gas cards. Days went by, he didn't hear from Cassie. No thankyou, nothing. Finally, he called and asked how she liked the stuff. She informed him she never received a package. Brian said, Well, that explains why I haven't heard from you. She completely flipped out, yelling and swearing at him, saying that the phone goes both ways and she is the child, while he is the adult and she isn't going to play his games, chasing him around, yet she calls her mother 5 or 6 times a day on the cell phone he provides. She wanted space from him, yet when she got it, now he's being neglectful. She went on to say he's never been there for her and if she wasn't biologically related to him, she'd have no respect for him at all.

Brian is the most wonderful and honorable man I can think of. He has always put his children and my children first, and while that can be frustrating at times, I wouldn't love him if he did not. So be accused to not "being there" was extremely hurtful. He has not missed one event of hers. So after taking about 45 minutes of the abuse she was dishing out, he basically told her that it is now time for her to float her own boat and that the cell phone and finacial help from him is being cut off as of Tuesday.

He called me crying and extremely upset. He was at my house by 8:30 AM Saturday morning on the bike. Barbara has been having some financial struggles in the last few weeks, waiting for her checks to start from her new job, so I knew she wouldn't be terribly hurt by my bailing on the Boston trip. I left Saturday morning with Brian and the plan was to just drive and see where we ended up.

We had the most wonderful and romantic time. We rode all over Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont on the bike. We were going to stay in one of those cottage like motel things on the side of the road, but Brian and I didn't like the looks of them. We were cold and tired, but not desperate. There was this beautiful condo lodge, with jacuzzis right in the room, that he said we could stay in, but then we decided just to head to Concord and get a room at the Holiday Inn so we could be closer to the places we wanted to visit the next day. We slept like the dead after hot showers and some yummy room service.

The next day, we just went where the roads led us. Stopped in little towns, talked to local people, and just cuddled and kissed a lot. We had a very nice dinner at Margarita's (not Orono) and watched the fireworks back at the hotel. A very hot and very romantic evening ensued, ending with us again sleeping like the dead. We got up the next morning and got ready. Loaded the bike and headed back to Maine. Our mission: to take as much of coastal Route 1 as possible. We went up thru Portsmouth, Kittery, York Beach, Ogunquit, shopped in Kennebunkport, Old Orchard Beach, Saco, Portland, Yarmouth, Freeport.

Brian almost decided to stay in Bangor for another night. Neither of us were ready to see our mini-vacation end. He didn't leave my driveway until almost 8 PM and called from Houlton at 9:35. He didn't call again until he was home in bed at 11. We were both sad, already missing each other and weary from all the riding.

All in all, it was an interesting holiday. Just goes to show you, expect the unexpected sometimes. While the weekend started out tough for Brian, we both admitted to having a wonderful time with each other.

And interestingly enough, Brian has been taking things so slow with me for our children'ts sakes. It is hard meshing lives sometimes when children are involved, but Cassie's little outburst has kind of given him a wakeup call. He has been knocking himself out, trying to make things easier for them, and unintentionally more difficult for us. He said it is time for him to start living his own life again and that that life includes me.

Sweetest Word EVER...Vacation!!!

I have never been so glad to see a day END! All of the kids were super cranky at work today. After naps however, they became little angels! Bobbi, Sammi's mom, said that she is giving her 2 weeks. Sammi was starting kindergarten in September anyway, but I will still be sad to see her go. I have a new student, Ashley, starting July 11th. That will give me 8 kids for 2 weeks until Sammi leaves.

Jade's boyfriend brought Erica, Jade and I Blizzards from Dairy Queen in to work this afternoon. YUMMY!!! Nothing else terribly exciting to report. Just chillin' with the girls tonight, I think. That unmotivated feeling is still hanging in there.

Happy July!

I decided to take a nap around 4 PM...I awoke with a start at 7:15 PM, thinking it was 7:15 AM, and thought I was late for work. The kids had a good laugh about that! So I fell back to sleep and slept until Brian's phone call and then slept right thru until 6:30 this morning. I'm guessing I needed it. The funny thing is, I certainly didn't feel exhausted. My eyes were just a little sleepy from reading. I had even had my latte, plus I was working on my second cup of coffee when I was kidnapped by the sleep fairies. I'd probably be in a coma if I wasn't addicted to caffeine!

So I work all day today until 5:30. But it is Friday! :) It is supposed to be rainy tomorrow. Sunny Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.

I am reading the book "Wicked: The Life and Times of the WIcked Witch of the West" by Gregory Maguire. A great book. It is now a musical production on Broadway. My sister and I LOVE Broadway musicals. There isn't much else we have in common. She also lives in Connecticut now. But we do talk on the phone. The kids and I saw her at my grandmother's birthday bash, the day after we got back from Virginia. She just informed us that she is PREGNANT! I am so excited! While at my grandmother's birthday, she asked "So, when are you going to get a REAL teaching job?" My reply, "So when are you going to have a real baby and stop with the $2000 puppies?" I need to stop here and explain my sister...even though we come from the same parents, somewhere along the line she assumed her last name was Kennedy. Thankfully, she and her husband have highly lucrative jobs so as to support her lavish tastes.

ANYWAY...I got to get to work!

How Cute!

How Cute!
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

The gray fluff ball that everyone wants!

Isabelle

Isabelle
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Meet Isabelle...she looks just like her mother Chloe did when she was a kitten.

Random Stuff

We have a couple of Carmen Electra's Striptease Cardio Workout dvd's in the house. There is a really cool hip-hop dance routine in one of them. It looks much easier than it actually is. The lap dance routine is pretty funny. I'm not sure whose cardio this is supposed to enhance, but circling a chair, butt and boobs stuck out, smacking my own ass doesn't raise MY cardio. I think Brian would die laughing at me. It got me to thinking that for most guys, a lap dance is fun when it is performed by someone OTHER than your own girlfriend. Like I could do this dance for a number of guys and they'd love it...but I don't think I could do it with a straight face for Brian. I was making the girls laugh, though, because right in the middle of the hiphop routine, she starts jogging (badly I might add) in place...I was like, WTF!!! I can't do that move at Barnaby's! So instead, I was doing this ultra-sexy move where you make big circles with your arms, with one going in the forward direction and one in the backwards direction. NOT AN EASY FEAT!!! Yes, I am joking...not that I can't do this tricky maneuver, but about it being ultra-sexy...it looks like I am trying to take off like one of those sky dancer dolls. Still better than running in place, though. I think I might just stick with bullriding.

I picked a book today to read to my preschoolers...Zach and the Alligator...I asked my class if anyone knew why I chose that book and Sammi (age 4) condenscendingly says, "Because Jennifer, YOUR Zach is gone for the summer and you miss him very much." Apparently I may have mentioned this a few times! :)

It is now 1 PM and I've lost all motivation whatsoever. That is a funny word. Whatsoever. What is so wrong with making it three separate words, What So Ever. Actually, when you think about it, the phrase doesn't really make any sense at all. Who came up with it?

Oh yeah, and some jackass from another state was riding my ass the whole way home from work today...don't I hate that. I slammed on my brakes a few times, but he was persistant. Finally he passed me, I gave him the finger, all the while listening to my Christian Rock Station...I know, I know...and he blew by me only to get pulled over about a 100 yards down the road...HAHAHAHA...I waved driving by. I was actually speeding when he passed me, by about 15 over, so he was going at least 65-70 in a 45 mile an hour zone. I know from personal experience that just 11 miles over the limit will result in a
$180 ticket.

Current Mood: kinda bored now
Current Music: I Like Big Butts

Early!

I got out of work early today! This makes me happy. Jade got out early yesterday and just had to come back to close. Today is my turn and tomorrow, Erin will have a turn. I like unexpected surprises. I am going tanning and I am going to clean a little.

June 30th

I can't believe tomorrow is the 1st of July.

One Down, Two More to Go

Days at work that is.

A great day at work, but long. Thankfully we were short on kids today. It is STILL in the 90's and the humidity is wretched.
The kids have dealt well with it, but when they do blow up, watch out!

I am beat, though. Looking forward to reading a little and then sleeeeeping! 6:30 AM comes early for me.

BBQ

The staff meeting and bbq at Jessy's house was fun! It is nice to hang out with the girls at a place other than work. It is also nice that we are all getting along much better. I work all day tomorrow! Brian says it is good for me. Yeah, whatever! I'm on vacation next week, I am on vacation next week, I am on vacation next week! :)

I hope Brian is having fun at the concert! I will miss his phone call tonight, but it will be nice to go to bed early!

JUDY!!!

My older friend Judy, who I also call Mom, stopped by to visit unexpectedly!!! It is just a fluke that Erin and I traded shifts today, so I happened to be at home when Judy stopped by. She has been in Ohio for grad school. Judy is a true success story. She went back to college at age 48. She graduated 2 years ago. She has been my inspiration for a long time. She has survived two failed marriages (abusive) and has turned into the most wonderfully "ordinary" (I mean this in a good way) down to earth, unbelieveably strong woman I know. I love her so much and it means so much to me that she would stop by to visit. I met her in 1998 and she has been thru all of my ups and downs with me since then. She was there when I finally managed to break away from Mike, and was understanding when I was too scared to be by mysef to leave him. I am a completely different person than I was in 1998. It is almost incomprehensible for me to think back on the insecure and emotionally needy person that I was then. As hard as times can be sometimes doing this whole parenting and bill paying thing alone, I would NEVER go back. I love my life. I love my good times and my hard times because I OWN them. They are mine. I am confident and stronger than I ever thought possibe and the most scary thought I can think of is the thought of never finding out how truly strong I am. How scary to think that I could have just maintained the life Mike and I had, driving myself crazy, walking on eggshells around him all of the time so as to not set him off. And of course, I would never have met Brian. How sad to think I could have been involved, albeit unhappily, with someone when the man of my dreams walked into my life!

I can honestly say that if it wasn't for the grace of God, and my wonderfully supportive friends and family, I would not be here today. I can get caught up in the woes of life and spend more time whining than necessary, so it is nice to be reminded of just how far I've come and how much further still I have yet to go.

Shout Outs

Happy Birthday to Eric!

Good Luck to Erin today!

Have a good time at the Def Leppard concert tonight Brian, Paul and friends!


Things to do today...

go to post office
go to grocery store
call Mary
make pasta alfredo for bbq
go to work 2-5:30
go to staff meeting/bbq 6PM
come home and fall into bed

I slept in today! YAY! I didn't get up until 7:47 AM! This is sleeping in for me. I don't have to work today until 2. The rest of the week will be long and full days. I start my vacation Friday at 5:30! :) I don't have to be back to work until July 11th. Brian is taking his son and two of his son's friends to Portland today for the Def Leppard concert tonight. The boys are HUGE fans of 80s and 90s heavy metal bands. They are 16.

Well, I suppose I am just postponing the inevitable. I need to get my stuff done.

BOSTON!!!

I checked the Boston 4th website and surprise, surprise, they DO have the list of performers...Gretchen Wilson will be there, as will Big and Rich, who sing Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy...I am SO excited!!! :)

A Great Day!

I took the preschoolers for a walk today. We played with a bullfrog at the pond and walked to the Korean War Memorial, then to the Civil War fort, then back to the pond. I told them the Frog Prince story and we ate wild strawberries on the walk back.

We have a staff meeting tomorrow after work. We're going to have it at Jessy's new house and have a fun BBQ! I am all excited.

It has been just a laid back kind of day. I think I am going to take the kids to the pool. I have to go grocery shopping later. I don't have to be at work tomorrow until 2. I need a day to sleep in a little, which I have not been able to do since Laconia, because the Monday after that trip, I started working 8-12:30 everyday. That means I have to be up at 6ish to get ready for work. The rest of the week, I am working 8-5:30 everyday. BUT I have all of next week off for vacation. The girls and I are headed to Boston on the 3rd of July. We'll be there for the 4th and then spend the 5th in Old Orchard Beach, providing it isn't rainy.

I am curious about who will be performing at the concert in Boston on the 4th. Two years ago, it was LeAnn Rimes. She did all of the songs from Coyote Ugly. They usually don't post on the website who will be performing until a day or two before the 4th. It will be broadcast on CBS. I will be in the 1st or 2nd row again, providing everything goes as planned. 4 of the 7 years of going, we've been right up front, which is quite a feat to do when it usually draws a crowd of between 600,000-800,000 people!

Another Pleasant Valley Sunday

What a long, busy weekend. Brian came down a night early to surprise me. He took me to dinner at the Muddy Rudder, which is where he and I had gone on our first date. Then we just rode the bike around and went for a late night walk down on the waterfront, which is what we also did on our very first date.

Saturday, we got up early, got ready, rode the bike until Julie's wedding at 1. It was sweltering on the bike, but the church and reception hall were air-conditioned. Brian and I both decided this was a more pleasant way to spend the afternoon, plus we got a free lunch out of it! :)

We left the reception at about 4ish and headed to Camden on the bike. It was beautiful. We had a late (10 PM) supper at Denny's. After which, Brian and I bickered for awhile until we went to sleep back at the hotel. I had been running that day on about 4 hours sleep, having had a late night love session with Brian the previous evening. Plus, it was HOT, HAZY and HUMID. We were both cranky. I woke up Sunday morning still cranky, which kind of set off his crankiness. We parted ways at about 10 AM. He was going riding with some friends and I was taking the kids to the beach.

The girls and I got to the beach at 11:30 and stayed there until almost 5. It was so much fun swimming and playing, trying to beat the heat. It was also very relaxing. Now I am not cranky and I am back to being madly in love with Brian. Amazing what a day at the beach can do.

It is now 7:15 and I am sleepy and relaxed. I have an early day tomorrow and will be home from work around noon. The girls and I will be hanging at the pool tomorrow, providing the weather holds out. I LOVE the lazy days of summer!!!

Jenn and Brian

Jenn and Brian
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

A cute one of us, with both sets of eyes OPEN! :)

Blink!!!

Blink!!!
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Brian and I at Julie's reception, after we'd changed. We were getting ready to head to Camden to enjoy the rest of the day on the bike.

View of Camden Harbor

View of Camden Harbor
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

On top of Mount Battie. Typically on a clear day, to the west you can see Mount Washington. It was so hot and hazy when this was taken. Visibility wasn't what it can be. It was about 7 PM at night and still about 90 degrees on top of the mountain. Brian and I had a nice time relaxing up there.

Jenkin's Beach

Jenkin's Beach
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Random people at the beach today. It was quite a lovely day!

Jenn at Jenkin's Beach

Jenn at Jenkin's Beach
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Me enjoying today's hot beautiful weather at Jenkin's Beach. It was 90+ degrees out today.

Portland Headlight

Portland Headlight
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

I took this one. I had never been to the Portland Headlight. Maine definitely knows how to do a coastline!

Jenn in Portland

Jenn in Portland
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Brian took this one. The weather was so beautiful on Sunday.

I Hate Cars!

I got a flat today. I began to think about the types of women that there are in this world. Barb, who happened to get a flat a few weeks ago, is the change your own tire kind of woman. I know how to change a tire, but chose to call my Uncle Freeman (Barb's dad) anyway. He was there in about 15 minutes and the car was done fairly quick. As independent as I think I am, cars are the one area where I tend to feel vulnerable or like I need a man around. SOOOOO anyway, my tanning appointment was originally at 1:10 today. Flat tire was at 12:45 today. Missed tanning appointment and rescheduled for 4:30.

I am grateful the flat didn't occur at the beach, or going to or from work. I was just in town and thankfully my uncle was available. This is definitely the downside of Brian living 2 and 1/2 hours away, although he'd be there as quick as he could if I was really in trouble, especially if I had the kids with me.

$70 for a new tire, mounted and balanced. When Brian asks tonight what I bought today to wear to the wedding, I'll have to say a Goodyear tire. Thankfully you usually only blow one tire at a time. The ones I have on are less than a year old and definitely have some more miles on them. My uncle says my car needs to be aligned, which is why this one wore out so fast. I also found out you're supposed to retorque your screws every 25 miles or so. I was like, WHAT THE F***? Can you imagine me going on a shopping trip to Portland and having to stop and retorque every 25 miles? Or driving to work. "Oh, I have to leave early today. Got to retorque on my way home." I can't say that I've heard of that many tires coming untorqued and rolling down the highway sans vehicle.

I've learned a lot today. Mostly that cars are the devil.

Nice Day!

The weather is still beautiful outside. I worked until 12 and came home and watched some movies with the girls. It is nice just to hang out again. Desaraye called and David was in Bar Harbor for the day, so she needed a ride to run some errands. It was nice to hang out with her and Tajin for a little while today. The girls and I went to the beach yesterday and I think we're going again tomorrow. Brian has a long day at work today and tomorrow. He is trying to get things caught up after vacation especially since he is coming down this weekend to accompany me to Julie's wedding. He is bringing the bike because it is supposed to be beautiful this weekend. I can't wait to ride again!!! I need to get to the mall this week and buy a new outfit for the wedding. I've seen Carey and Erica's outfits.

Oh well. Back to the movie and hanging with the girls.

Current Mood: very relaxed

Current Movie: Cursed

BPC & JLD

BPC & JLD
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

It was so hot on this day. About 90 degrees. I miss him SOOOOOO much right now!

Waiting at the Harley Dealer in Conway

Waiting at the Harley Dealer in Conway
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Waiting in the incessant heat at the Harley shop for Steve's blinkers to be fixed on his bike.

The Guys

The Guys
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Lenny, Mel, Dalton, John, Steve and Brian

The Girls

The Girls
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Some bad ass biker bitches! :)
Cindy, Peggy, Me, Marielle & Lisa

I was not destined to have good hair on this trip, between the humidity and the rain, all I can say is FRIZZY, FRIZZY, FRIZZY!!!

Brian, Jenn & Louis

Brian, Jenn & Louis
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

The newest addition to the family! :)

Louis Vuitton

The Newest Addition to the Family!
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Nice eye roll, Brian! I kinda think he looks like Garth Brooks in this picture! A much cuter, thinner Garth Brooks.

Jenn & Brian

Jenn & Brian
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Us at the famous biker bar, The Broken Spoke Saloon.

Riding the Bull

Riding the Bull
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

The best $5 I have ever spent! This was so much fun!

Brian and Jenn

Brian and Jenn
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

This is one of my favorite pics of Brian and I. We were riding on the Kankamangus highway in New Hampshire. It is absolutely beautiful there, with the White Mountains in every direction. This is also on the Appalachian Trail.

I'm BAAAACK!!!!

Hi everyone!
Laconia was a BLAST! I took lots of pics. I'll try to upload some tonite. Brian just dropped me off about a 1/2 hour ago. I miss him already. The past 9 days together has certainly cemented our bond.

GUESS WHAT??? While at The Broken Spoke (a very famous biker bar in Laconia, where any and everything can happen) I, Jennifer, rode a mechanical bull!!! I have pics to prove it. I stayed on for a full 47 seconds and did not fall off at all. Mine was the time to beat that night! I got beads and I didn't even have to show my boobies! :) I only got smashed one night and that was back at the house that we all rented. It had been raining hard all day, so we decided to stay in and we all started drinking at about 2 PM...I didn't finish until 8. Thankfully, Brian was there to take care of me! I was praying at the toilet altar for awhile. I got two new belly button rings. Brian bought me new leather chaps and took pics of me getting fitted for them! :) We ended up spending about $1500 shopping on this trip.

AND the piece de resistance? I bougth a Louis Vuitton purse!!! I have new pics of that, too! :)

This is It!

Brian called last night. Plans changed a little. They couldn't contain themselves any longer, so they headed out last night, stopping for the night in Island Falls. They were supposed to leave this morning for Island Falls, pick up Melvin and Lisa and then come and get me. They all stayed at Melvin and Lisa's last night and will be here sooner than I anticipated. We'll now be on the road by 8:30 AM. I fell asleep last night around 10:30. Woke up at 12:30. Woke up at 2:30. Woke up at 4 and got out of bed at 5. Now, at 6AM, I feel as if I could fall back to sleep. It was so hot in my bedroom last night. Today and tomorrow are going to be even hotter.

Ampersand's doesn't even open until 7.

So my travelin' outfit today consists of:
A black Gap tank top
My favorite Calvin Klein jeans (bootcut, button-fly, nice hole above the knee and a really nice hole below my back right pocket)
a black leather belt
my riding boots

I'm bringing my leather, but I am afraid it is already feeling too hot for that. I also have my Harley Davidson jean vest that AJ bought me last summer. I can always wear that.

I'm feeling crampy today. Beautiful! Just BEAUTIFUL!!!

15 Hours

Fifteen hours before I am comfortably seated on the back of Brian's bike. I have been up since 4:30 AM. I didn't even fall asleep until about midnight. I worked all day. I am so wired. Hopefully, after I talk to Brian tonight, I'll be off in dreamland quickly. Waiting for the group to arrive will be agony. I'm trying to imagine what 8 motorcycles are going to sound like pulling into my driveway and what my neighbors will think! :)

It is so hot and humid right now. 90 degrees or so. We were supposed to have isolated thunderstorms today...I heard it thunder ONCE. Minimal sprinkle of a raindrop or two. No lightning.

The kids were super cranky at work today. It was so hot for them.

I started a new book last night because I had left the one I was reading on my desk at work. It is The Coldest Winter Ever by Sister Souljah. She is probably a cross between Maya Angelou and Alice Walker mixed with a little Spike Lee. I'm almost done the book already and so if I finish it tonight, I'll have to pick another for the trip. I am trying to be prepared for any of the days that have heavy rain. The weather looks pretty good so far, but Brian and I just plan on staying in and chilling out through any of the big storms. So he's bringing a few movies, I'm bringing a few movies, a book, and a magazine. I mean, I suppose we could always break down and DO IT! :) Sadly, I am quite certain I'm due to get my period at some point during this vacation. The one week of the year when Brian is ALL MINE and this is the sick twist of fate that has been dealt me. But the good news is, the weekend after we are back, Brian will be my date to Julie's wedding, and so we'll have a chance to make up for lost time. That is assuming we can even survive the trip together. I don't think we've ever spent more than 3 days in a row together. He and I, on separate occasions, have both brought this up. Not in a "we have a problem" kind of way. Just in a "hey, what if we find out we really can't stand each other" joking kind of way. I guess now is the time to find out.

Anyway, that is all that is new. Tonight is my last night with Zachie.

KIDS

I'm telling you, some days my kids go right behind me and mess up everything I've cleaned. It's times like this that reassure me I will be OK when they all do eventually move out on their own.

Friday is almost here. I work 8-5:30. It is payday! It is also my last night with Zach.

I find it very weird that the day before the day before I left for Virginia, I was running around so much more, making sure I had everything packed. After the way the beginning of this week started, with my stressing out completely, I am very calm and collected by week's end. My stuff is packed. Bills paid. House clean. Kid and pet situation taken care of. Job taken care of. My guilty feelings have resolved themselves. I am anxious to see Brian.

Ideas?

Brian is bringing his portable dvd player on the trip. Any ideas on what movies to bring? He doesn't like horror moives.

This morning I've watched The Incredibles, I Know What You Did Last Summer, and Hot Chick.

Today is so boring! Maybe I'll go to the mall later and spend money I don't have. Right now, I have to go take my shower. It is almost noon and I haven't done much of anything except laze around! :)

Current Mood: Excited
Current Music: Boom, Boom, Boom

LATTES

The girls at Ampersand's are counting down the days with me. Two more latte mornings and that is it. I am getting really excited now. I am going tanning and will blog a little later!

Just Waiting

I have tomorrow off. I am cleaning tomorrow because there is nothing worse than coming back from vacation to a messy house. Barb, Shannon, and Hayley will be here next week, but I think they should be able to keep it clean for a week.

I only worked 3 1/2 hours today but it dragged so bad. So basically I am just sitting around tonight, waiting for Saturday. Because tomorrow is a day off for me, I am sure the day will fly by. I work 9 hours Friday and I KNOW it will seem like that day will never end.

Other than that, not much new to report. Kayla has claimed my new shoes. She has a big smile on her face and says, "Mommy, they fit. I am going to wear them to school tomorrow." I'm only Mommy when I have something she wants! :) She is 15 now, so I am surprised she calls me mommy at all anymore!

I stopped in to see Jim today. He wants lots of pics of Bike Week. He also told me he better not find out I showed off my boobas for beads! I had to laugh. First of all, I will be with Brian the entire time. I don't think he'll want me doing that. Second of all, it has been 2 years this summer since Jim and I dated and he has no say anymore who I show my boobas to anyway! But it was still kind of funny.

Zach and Baby Emily

Zach and Baby Emily
Originally uploaded by jennluvsgable.

Zach asked last night how much money it would cost to BUY Emily! I told him that was against the law, but that it would be nice to have a baby like her.

Early Morning

I had a very early morning today. Jessy called about 7 AM to ask if I would cover for Julie today, who was home sick. I wasn't going to do very much except for sleep in and clean a little, so I said SURE! I am exhausted now. I don't have to be at work until tomorrow at 2 PM, but Karen called today and asked if I'd watch Bailey and Madison and her two nephews, Kyle and Matthew so they can go to her grandfather's funeral, which is at 10. Bailey is excited because not only am I her teacher later in the day, I also get to play with her at her house and she'll ride with me to school. She informed me today that "Well, Jennifer, great Grampa is still dead so the funeral will be tomorrow." Just in case I was wondering if he happened to pull through the ordeal or not. :)

Brian and I talked last night. It was a relief to finally admit that I am feeling a little guilty and extravagant about leaving the kids and my job for 10 whole days. He said it was understandable and was very sympathetic. He also said that at 10:30 Saturday morning, we'll be on the bike, my arms will be wrapped around him, my hair blowing in the wind, and we'll leave all the stress and worries behind. Sounds good to me.

Bailey and Sammi have requested that when Brian and I reach the top of Mt. Washington, the tallest mountain the U.S., we yell as loud as we can, "HELLO Bailey and Sammi!!!" Zach came to work with me today. I said he could take the day off from school so we could spend the day together, and then Jessy called and was in a bind, so he went to work with me. He loves going to work with me, and I certainly don't mind working if I get to spend time with my own kids at the same time. There is a running joke at work about the day Sammi met Zach and she pulled me aside and said, "I'm going to marry that boy someday." So today, Sammi (4 years old) made eyes at Zach (11) all day and picked him flowers. When he went to the bathroom she said to me about his new haircut, "Jennifer, can you please make sure his hair is cut like that for our wedding?"
"Of course, Samantha!" I said, "Anything for my future daughter-in-law." Way too cute. Wouldn't it be funny if they really were to grow up and get married some day? How sweet that I would have taken care of his future wife when she was a little girl.

TODAY I actually feel like MYSELF! I never thought I'd see the old me emerge again. Still a little on the cranky side, though not as bad as I've been. I'm not as cranky as I am short of patience, I guess. I can't believe tomorrow is Wednesday already.

Still Not Right

I am still not feeling right. My cough is a million times better, but my allergies are hyper-sensitive right now. For instance, my eyes tend to get itchy and watery about this time of year anyway, so I avoid scratching them, especially if my contacts are in. Well, yesterday afternoon, I discreetly scratched the corner of my eye, which antagonized a full itch attack, so I took my contacts out so I could just give them a good rub and at least make them feel better, even if they'd be red for awhile. It was Sunday, so I wasn't going anywhere. After the rub, my eyes swelled almost shut. They are still a little puffy this morning, but some of that is because I haven't been sleeping well. Anything that I have seemed slightly allergic to in the past, now has my nose running, eyes burning, throat itching. This is very weird.


AND I just can't shake this anxiety surrounding the bike trip. I think it might have to do with this being my first "real" vacation without any kids. I always have at least one of them. I am just really worried about them. They will be in good hands. Zach will be spending his last week in Maine with my parents. He is leaving for Virginia the day I am coming back from New Hampshire. Kayla wants to spend the week with her Dad. Hayley wants to stay here at the house with Barb and Shannon, which is good, because she can help take care of the the dog and cats. They all have Brian's cell phone number. I don't think I am bringing mine. They are not LITTLE. They all know how to cook, clean, and fend for themselves. I just feel guilty taking 10 days off from them. I know Brian and I need this vacation. I can't think of a better way to spend it than riding the bike with Brian and spending 10 days cozied up in a tent together. I definitely can use the time off from work. I have taken long weekend trips away from the kids, but even then, I usually end up bringing one of them, unless it is a long weekend Brian and I are spending in Portland. And usually when Brian and I have weekend plans, it is because the kids have ditched me already for my brother's house, or my parent's, or their dad's, and it is much easier to enjoy myself when I know that THEY chose to do something else. Brian is more used to being ditched than me. Cassie is 19 and has had a life of her own for awhile now, and his son Paul is 16 and spends a lot more time with his friends now than with Dad. I am sure Brian is going through his own stressful anxiety routine, trying to get everything done in the office before he leaves on Saturday.

Will he and I ever reach a point in our lives where we can just up and go on vacation without feeling guilty about leaving the kids and work and bills and the house? I don't recall having this much anxiety taking the Virginia vacation, but I think that is because the kids were with me and quality time with my kids is worth a week's paycheck and all of the stress of leaving a house and pets that goes with it.